Bound to My Mate Ch. 18

"That's not very exciting," I commented and he laughed.

"I'm sorry this doesn't have to be a near death experience for you. Linda wanted power in the pack and was going to use source magic to accomplish it. The witches wanted the money such powerful spells would bring. It seems it was a mutually beneficial arrangement for them. Linda's death stalled Davonna. She had to learn to use the source's decaying body and it took time," Joel surmised.

"You really think this whole thing was all about money?" I asked feeling stunned.

"Most likely," Joel answered.

That was unsatisfying in a way, but it made sense. What evil in the world wasn't perpetuated for financial gain? Davonna had a made a fortune selling those spells; she probably thought the risk to the rest of us was worth it

Joel had also been around when June finally woke up in the infirmary. Once her adopted family convinced her Joel wasn't a cold blooded killer, she talked to him. She recognized pictures of Davonna, but said she had never spoken with Althea. Only Davonna had ever approached her.

She reinforced Joel's opinion that the entire operation had been financially motivated. June had told Joel that Davonna had promised her untold riches if she would just convince a brother to cooperate. In all her dealings with Davonna the woman had been obsessed with money.

Joel's reaction was so odd. I couldn't quite wrap my brain around it. He didn't seem at all upset as he sat and talked through everything with me.

"So, you aren't mad at me?" I asked.

"Oh, I'm furious, but at myself. I was so angry at the witches, I wasn't thinking clearly. I lied to and then nearly tortured a human female. I spoke cruelly to my mate and ignored what was sound advice. It is embarrassing and I am ashamed."

"Joel, it wasn't that bad," I said lamely.

In truth it was and he looked at me with knowing eyes, speaking slowly.

"How would I have been looked upon if I tortured a someone I swore I would release? Would my pack be able to trust me again after that? Then, in a foolhardy show of bravado, I humiliated you in front of our warriors."

Joel hugged me close, "What do I get in return for such terrible behavior? A true friend to our pack in Dia. A loyal mate that put the safety of the pack above her own. It was not what I deserved, not by a long shot," he finished.

Joel looked so unhappy. I knew what he had said was the truth, but seeing him like this wasn't what I wanted. What I had expected was the arrogant male I'd become accustomed to. At this point, I'd prefer to be wearing that horrible chain rather than see him upset.

Shaking my head, I spoke to him. "I couldn't stand the idea of you doused in that potion. The idea of watching the warriors suffer when there was another way...I just couldn't do it. You are a good man, you jut had a lapse in judgement," I paused for a moment watching him and continued, "and so did I. I should have been more insistent with you, so we could agree on a plan. Sneaking around you wasn't right and walking into that house alone with Dia was dangerous."

Joel hugged me as he spoke and I hugged him back.

"You have a right to your opinion and I overstepped you because I could. I was a fool, such a great fool. I am begging you to forgive me," he said slipping me off his lap.

Joel got down on his knee and asked for forgiveness again.

"Joel, I forgive you. Do you forgive me?" I asked cradling his face.

"Of course, you are too good to me, mate," he said kissing the tiny dent in my thigh.

We sat quietly together with Joel kneeling and resting his head on my lap. As I stroked his hair I thought about what he'd said and what I'd done. We still hadn't learned to work together.

We'd both been used to doing things our own way. Neither of us was particularly talented at listening to the other. If we couldn't overcome this hurdle our relationship would be very rocky. Healthy relationships are full of compromise, I knew that.

It wasn't that I didn't want to listen to him. I just wanted him to take my opinions into consideration. When I was in the house he, Nate, and Anthony had all been in my head and we had worked together. They had listened to me and I had listened to them.

"What the hell?" I said suddenly and Joel's head came off my lap.

He watched me for a minute looking tense before he saw the confusion on my face.

"What is it love?" he asked quizzically.

"In the witch's house I felt Nate and Anthony press into my mind. They gave me directions and worked with me," I paused for a moment and considered what I was about to say next. "I was still in my human form, Joel. How did they do that? How did I do that? Am I some sort of a freak?"

Joel grinned knowingly back at me. "How many did you kill in the house?" he asked.

"I killed at least seventeen and mortally wounded four others," I ground out.

The wolf started to rise as the memories flooded back. I luxuriated in the smell of the blood and the sounds of the screams. It was a fitting end for the people that had hurt my pack.

Although I felt I should be horrified at the carnage, I wasn't. I saw the entire event through the eyes of the wolf and she was very pleased with how it turned out. The Alpha bitch protected the pack and all was well.

"As a human I don't believe you could have done that with the efficiency necessary. I think the wolf was fully in control. You retained your human skin for a time because it was more stealthy, which the wolf would appreciate," Joel said resting back on his heels.

I nodded, my wolf had appreciated the deception of walking up like a weak human female. All the better to fool the stupid witches was her opinion.

"You, my love, are a powerful wolf and all of you is aware of that. When it was necessary you handed over control to your wolf. She did everything, except wear her own skin. I've heard of this happening before. You are very lucky to be able to do it," he finished stroking my legs.

I was bloodthirsty, but at least I wasn't a freak.

My stomach growled loudly and Joel put a hand over it. "Come, it is time for breakfast to be served."

"How long was I out?"

"You've only been asleep since yesterday morning," he said leading me into the closet.

As we walked through the den the air was jubilant. Looking out a window I saw wolves weaving in and out of the woods surrounding the den. They were in full party mode.

The dining room was a chaotic place. Everyone stood up when we walked in and there were lots of hoots and howling.

'They're excited because the source was destroyed?' I asked Joel through our bond.

He laughed out loud and pulled my chair out for me. "They are excited because they are off the lock down. We protected them and now they can feel safe in our territory."

'Do they know that we disagreed so strongly on how that should have been done?' I asked using the bond again.

'Yes, and our disagreement, as you put it, upsets them. They expect us to act cohesively, anything less is seen as weakness,' Joel answered.

I ran my fingers through my hair and sighed. The last thing we needed now was to have the pack see us as unstable. Leaning over I captured Joel's lips and spent several long seconds kissing him. Hopefully, affection would help settle any questions.

Joel seemed to like my idea. He pulled me out of my chair and onto his lap. Wrapping my arms around his broad shoulders, I relaxed into his embrace. Our tongues dueled for long moments before we came up for air.

"Fucking hell, man," I heard from behind me, "nobody's shy about showing affection are they?"

Turning in Joel's arms I saw Will and Dia approaching us. She was watching the dining room with wide eyes. Our display of affection was being copied by all the mated pairs in the hall. It was an interesting site.

"Dia, baby," Will whispered, "watch your language. Didn't we talk about this? Try not to use a curse word every sentence."

"It's hard, Will," she said honestly, "but I'll try harder."

Dia noticed us watching and shot me a big grin. Will wrapped her in his arms nibbling at her ear, but she seemed determined to have a normal conversation.

"You look better, Madam Alpha," she said addressing me, wiggling out of Will's persistent embrace.

"I feel better, thank you. You look rested," I told her.

"Yeah, I slept until early last night. When I woke up, Will and I had a long...discussion. I slept some more after that," she said stroking just to the left side of her neck.

Will looked jubilant standing behind her and he couldn't stop touching her.

"You're mated, then?" I asked watching them.

They still stood by the table and Will's smile got bigger. If they weren't mated now, they would be soon.

"Yeah, damn weird experience," Dia said absently stroking Will's hands that were splayed across her middle.

Joel snorted and Will laughed nuzzling into her hair. It seemed she couldn't say anything that would really upset him right now.

"I didn't realize you were so virginal, Dia," Will said softly. "You want to go back upstairs and we'll do it over and over again until you don't think it's 'weird'?" he offered.

"Fuck you," she said blandly over her shoulder. "You bit me. You didn't even warn me. That hurt and now the scar feels strange."

I knew exactly what she was feeling. Dia was just more blunt than I had ever been. Moving back to my chair I pointed to the seat next to me and asked Dia to sit.

During breakfast I sat and talked to Dia. She already knew much more than I had at this stage, but she still had questions. Since I had been human before, I was able to answer some of them. We talked until one of Joel's Betas came up to the table bowing and addressing us.

"My Alphas," he said respectfully when he was noticed, "the pack would like to celebrate tonight. Several have asked me and I bring the request to you."

Joel turned purposefully towards me and asked, "Mate, the pack would like to celebrate our victory tonight in the forest by the lake. Would you like us to do this?"

"As long as you would like to go, I think it's a good idea," I said politely.

The room burst into applause when Joel said he thought we should go.

'So we have to be vocal in agreeing with one another?' I questioned into his mind.

'As much as we can be, until they believe we are strong and stable. Otherwise we may have someone try to challenge us,' he said back to me.

'You could best any challenger,' I thought confidently.

'I could and I have before,' he answered, 'but the challenges are stressful for the pack. They fear their leaders may be replaced at a moment's notice. They become restless. It is not a healthy atmosphere.'

Joel looked calmly out over his pack in the dining room and I took his hand. We sat silently watching them for several long moments.

"What's a celebration entail?" Dia asked, breaking the silence at the table.

"Running, fucking, eating, and dancing," I told her succinctly.

"Humans allowed?" she asked.

"I'll carry you there, Dia," Will said pulling her in for a kiss. "It wouldn't be a celebration without my mate."

Joel and I left the dining hall after we'd eaten. I leaned into him and held his hand as we walked. I loved him, so acting like it wasn't a problem. Looking for ways to express it was odd though.

We walked in silence to the infirmary. It was a busy place today. I was surprised when Donna and the other human females approached me happily.

The women I had been helping to care for had seen me brought in the day before. My wounds were gruesome and they panicked, thinking I was a goner. Even April, who was usually collected thanks to Rick's influence, had a bit of a breakdown. It took Sarah and Rick a long time to calm them.

"Madam Alpha," the leader of the group, Donna, addressed me grinning, "we're so glad to see you up and moving about. When we first saw you, we thought for sure..." she trailed off, but I knew what she meant.

I had looked bad the day before when they saw me. It was one of the drawbacks of having them stay in the infirmary. They got up close to all the sick and injured as they were brought in.

"You healed quickly," April said coming to stand beside her friend and eyeing me critically.

"It's part of the change," I shrugged. "Werewolves heal faster than humans."

I stood for a while and talked to the women about the change. They seemed accepting of the idea now. The pack didn't scare them anymore and none of them were ready to die.

They were just unhappy about the notion of impersonal public sex. Except for April, none of the other girls had found a mate. They knew what happened during a changing ritual. Doing that with just, some guy, while outside was nerve wracking.

Joel interrupted to explain to them something I did not know.

"We will take you to visit with the other packs, since you are willing. If we cannot find you mates then my highest ranking single Betas will change you. You will find someone in the ranks you feel comfortable with. The ceremony can be held privately. We will not force this issue with you," he said.

"But mine..." I started to say and stopped.

He never gave me the option of a private ceremony. Of course I'd never asked, so that may have had something to do with it.

"You were changing to be their Alpha, love, and I appreciate you going through the entire thing," Joel answered kissing my head. "The pack can be made to understand the victims of rogues may not embrace all of our customs, but they expected it of you."

I shrugged. The ceremony hadn't been bad, just odd.

The conversation with Joel seemed alleviate many of the women's remaining fears. Today was certainly looking up.

Walking into June's room was an interesting experience. While Lucas couldn't heal broken bones, the tissue overlying was less sore when he licked it. Now his hybrid form stood over her stroking his tongue over her ribs around the chest tube.

She lay in the bed and her wide brown eyes met mine as we walked in.

"It must be working somewhat," I commented as Joel turned to look at me. "It's not bruised anymore and she's taking deeper breaths."

I was pleased with the progress June was making.

The giant hybrid seemed to hesitate in his work for a moment, but Joel gave him permission to continue.

"Hi, June," I greeted the curious girl in the bed, "I am Alpha Latro's mate, Elizabeth."

"My brothers told me to call you Madam Alpha," she said stroking Lucas's head as he worked.

June was a sweet girl. She told us she had been orphaned at a young age and ran away from a foster home. She'd run into the renegade wolves and stayed with them for the last ten years. They were the best family she'd ever known.

She seemed just as unsure as her adopted brothers had been about my relationship with Joel.

"I remember you," she told me, "you saw me late one night in the clinic in town. I know you weren't a wolf then. My brothers told me wolves hated humans. This is all very hard to understand."

Lucas had shifted back to his human form and dressed. He shook his head and kissed her hand.

"I've told her over and over again, Madam Alpha. She's adjusting to the new ideas," he said.

After visiting June, Joel and I passed through the rest of the infirmary. Several warriors were still healing from potion burns. Fortunately, with the source destroyed the wounds seemed to be healing at a much faster rate. I commented to Joel and he shrugged.

"Do you want to see something interesting?" he grinned.

I shook my head 'yes' and Joel led us over to Sarah's makeshift lab on the far wall. He pulled out several small vials and handed them to me. They were a nauseating mixture of brown and green sludge.

"What are these?" I asked holding the vials closer to my face.

"Source magic, decomposing just like the source was," he said taking the bottles back. "It smells of Linda and death now, so we shouldn't open them around Lucas. He finds it distressing."

"Does the magic work anymore?" I asked.

"Not even a little," he said smiling. "Nate and Anthony tried several vials of spells with no effect."

"They drank that?!" I asked alarmed.

I looked filthy and disgusting. I couldn't imagine putting it in my mouth.

"For the good of the pack," he said putting the spells away again.

"So everything is fixed?" I asked smiling, "No more spells, no more source magic doesn't that mean the problems are all gone."

Joel grinned paternally and looked down at me, 'Do you mean,' he sent into my head, 'are we fixed? That is an entirely different problem.'

He sighed and inclined his heads to the few warriors still in the infirmary. 'They do not trust us,' he said. 'They think we are ill fitted as an Alpha pair. None would dare say this to me directly, but they have been brazen enough to tell Nate.'

I sighed and shook my head. There had to be a way to fix this. Joel had worked too hard to create a strong pack to just have it destroyed in one night.

The rest of the morning was odd. I tried to agree with Joel about everything and anything. Honestly, I felt like a parrot saying whatever he did. My hands rested over him and when he moved I went with him. Finally, he rolled his eyes and looked at me.

'It won't work, love. I openly insulted you and you snuck around behind my back. The pack will learn to trust us again, but it will not be accomplished in a day,' he sent into my head. 'Besides all that, I've gotten so used to you disagreeing with me, this feels wrong.'

I grinned and rose on tip toes to kiss his lips. If he found it disconcerting I'd stop with the obvious stuff, but I swore to myself I wouldn't make the same mistake twice. Next time I would go slow and talk to him about our decisions.

The pack planned to have dinner at the celebration, so everyone was ready to go early. They were literally salivating at the idea of bounding through the woods. In fact, everyone was excited to go to the party.

Rick remembered celebrations from when he was a child. He had excitedly told April, who told the other human women. They all begged to go and I had to go down to the infirmary to speak with them.

"Donna, these celebrations are fun, but the wolves act like wolves," I told them. "I'm sure we can find someone to carry you, but you'd have to ride on a wolf's back. There will be lots of fun and dancing, but also lots of sex. Are you all ready for that?"

"Will they have sex with us?" Donna asked paling slightly.

"Not unless you want to and if you don't that's fine. I just don't want you to be surprised by what you see."

Donna sighed and looked at the other women, "You want us to be wolves, so we should go. We trust you when you say they won't hurt us. It sounds like fun, we want to be part of this."

It turned out be a simple matter finding someone to carry the women. The pack welcomed the women as new members, despite the circumstances, and was happy to help include them. Being their escorts turned out to be looked on as an honor, so it worked for everyone.

We took off from the den as a group with the noon sun beating down on us. The pack left in waves following Joel and I. We hit the forest and bounded through it excitedly.

In a mood for some fun I darted ahead of Joel and kept his nose right at my backside. He caught up and nipped at a haunch. I slowed back to his side and he pushed his shoulder against me. Joel was stronger than me and the push sent me several paces to the side as he darted ahead.

'Not funny,' I called to him catching up and passing him.

Our little game continued for several miles. Suddenly I noticed we were alone. Our pace was fun for us and an all out sprint for anyone else.

'Joel,' I laughed into his head, 'we're going too fast for the pack.'