Breathing Ch. 05

She slowly moved her fingers in her binds and watched as her index finger grazed his arm. For the first time since she had come to, Trenton looked up at her and she saw them. Two sets of tears slowly moved down his face one after the other, and he didn't do anything to stop them. Would they stop if he tried?

"I should be so mad at you," he whispered after he managed to clear his throat.

"Trent."

At the sound of her whisper he closed his eyes. It was the first time she had called him Trent. In the day and a half he had known her she had always been so formal in her anger. Never calling him anything other than Trenton. It made him even angrier at her. Why couldn't he just leave her there to self-destruct? At least that way she wouldn't take him with her.

"I should want to wring your neck or just leave for that matter. I didn't sign up for this shit you know?"

The strain in his voice was evident as he cleared his throat again, "But—but I can't fucking—fuck!"

The scream ripped through the room with a thunderous roar as he stood; kicking over the chair he was sitting in. It was at that exact moment the nurse came in.

"Sir, I need you to leave."

The tremor in her voice was evident as she watched him stand above her patient.

"No," Trent stated calmly holding Sonya's gaze.

"Sir—"

"I said, 'no'," he said firmly averting his gaze to the nurse standing in the door. "Bandage her wrist, but I'm not going anywhere."

The uneasiness on the nurse's face was evident but Trent didn't care. He wasn't going to leave her. How he wanted to just leave her here alone, but he couldn't and it was pissing him off. She'd only been with him for two days and she'd already tried to kill herself again.

And it was all his fucking fault.

"Please," he asked taking a deep breath. "Please."

This seemed to calm the nurse down as she nodded her head and set to work disinfecting the wound on Sonya's right wrist before bandaging it up again.

"While I'm here I might as well check her vitals too."

Trent didn't say anything, he only nodded his head and moved to the side so that he was out of the nurse's way.

"Everything looks normal. The doctor will be in to see you shortly," the young nurse spoke to Sonya and then turned her attention towards Trent.

"Try to keep your cool or we'll have to ask you to leave next time. No exceptions."

And with that she looked towards Sonya again, turned around and left.

The silence in the room was palpable. It was as if it had its own heartbeat and the slow rhythm of its beat was drumming to her own. She wanted to not care that he was upset. But each time that she glanced towards him she couldn't help but want to assure him that this wouldn't happen again. But she couldn't.

He hadn't sat back down after the nurse left. Instead he opted for posting up like a statue in the corner with his arms folded. The vein in the middle of his forehead was forced forward as he glared at her from a distance.

A shot of euphoria rushed through her causing her eyes to drop down to the IV inserted in her arm. She hadn't even thought about her pain since she woke up. She wasn't even aware that it should be there. And as hard as she tried to grasp on to it and pull it back to her heart, she found that it was nowhere in sight.

Once again her eyes moved towards the statue of a man in the corner. His gaze had softened but only slightly. Shit. Sonya found that she had been saying that word a lot lately. Her hand moved involuntarily as her muscle jerked.

She needed to say something to him, but what?

Sonya found that she didn't have to think of anything to say when Trent spoke first.

"I called your mother too. She's out in the lobby right now."

Opening her mouth to speak for the first time since she woke up, Sonya was greeted with the worst case of cotton mouth she had ever experienced. "Water?"

Ignoring her plea Trent continued talking. "She had to be notified because even though I was granted a POA for you until tomorrow she is still your next of kin. And I didn't feel comfortable making any type of life or death decisions without her knowledge."

Sonya's eyes lowered to the padded shackle on her wrists again before she met Trent's sapphire gaze. "Water?"

"When I'm done I'll have the nurse bring you some water. You should know, first that, I no longer have a Power of Attorney for you. As of this very moment you no longer have to see my face again. And second, neither does your mom."

"What?"

The look of confusion on Sonya's face would have made Trent laugh if the situation wasn't so dire. It would have been comical if his heart didn't feel like she had minced it up and fed it to someone. And yet the look on her face still made him want to comfort her. But if he wanted her to get better this had to be done.

"I said neither of us has a Power of Attorney for you. I can no longer make medical decisions for you. In hindsight, I never should have been able to."

"I don't understand. What—what's gonna happen next?"

Trent unfolded his arm and moved towards her. Each step was much more menacing than the one before it. His broad shoulders slouched as he leaned forward slightly to tower over her. Sonya noticed that the tears had stopped flowing down his face, but the bloodshot appearance to his eyes were still there. She couldn't take seeing the vulnerability any more. So she closed her eyes and wished him away while secretly hoping for him to stay.

That alone was terrifying.

"Next, your mom is going to come in here and explain what happens."

"Why can't you just tell me," Sonya asked opening her eyes.

"Because, it's not my place. It's not my place to take over your life or give you that kind of information."

"You didn't have a problem with that before," she whispered.

A frown transformed his features so much that it was as if looking at an entirely different person. "And look where that got me," he whispered back.

"Trent—"

"You know, I'm supposed to be this hard ass exec. People at work fear me. They fear what I will say to them. They fear what I will do if they fuck up or slack off," he told her, each word getting stronger and louder as he went on.

"I'm the man who crushes dreams and could care less about anyone else's life. Especially a stranger. You may think I do this all the time," he scoffed. "But the truth is that had you been someone else bleeding on the side of the road, I would have stepped over your dying body and never looked back."

The mental picture he painted made Sonya shiver. In the short time she had known him, there was never any indication that he would be so cruel. Sure she had seen him be bossy and even seen the way he could be cold and unmoving but she also saw how he cared. The man he was describing couldn't be the same.

"And now?" he frowned again. "Now I don't even know who I am. I don't know you—but I know you. And I can't watch you do this to yourself, especially if my helping is essentially hurting you."

Sonya knew what he said was true. She had felt this uncanny connection to him since before she had met him. She couldn't put her finger on it, but she knew that it scared her beyond reason. At first glance he resembled her lost love, but when she really looked at him the similarities stopped there. So why was she so guilty?

"I'm going to go get your mom. Her and CeCe have been worried about you," Trent said as he turned to leave the room.

"Wait! Wait," she said calmer than the first outburst. "What is my mom going to do?"

Giving her a sad smile, he made a mental note of what she looked like. "What she should have done in the beginning."

And then he was gone.

***

"Therapy?!"

"Yes therapy," Theresa replied. Her daughter had just tried to take her own life for the second time in two days. She had been misguided to think that having her go with Trenton would help. When she thought about it, she knew it had been a horrible idea.

The man had instantly reminded her of Sean, so she knew he would remind Sonya of him as well. But Theresa had reasoned with herself that the similarities were too few. That she wasn't secretly hoping that her daughter would latch on to this Sean doppelganger and snap herself out of this funk.

As her chestnut hued eyes stared into her daughters she prayed that one day she could forgive her for being so spineless and allowing Trenton to take care of her. Some good that did.

"Mother! Therapy?!"

"Yes. Therapy. You just swallowed a whole bottle of pills. If Trenton hadn't come back in to talk to you, you would be dead. I would be arranging to have your funeral right now. Do you not understand that Sonya! You could have died!"

"I want to die!"

"Why? Because of Sean? He's dead Sonya. He's never coming back. Killing yourself is not going to reunite him and you. It'll just make you stop existing.

"Get out."

The words were whispered but there was no mistaking the anger behind them. Sonya wanted her gone and she wanted her gone that instant.

"Fine. I'll go. But not before I let you know that it took a lot of work to get you out of this place yesterday. There are no second chances when it comes to suicide Sonya."

"That's why it's called suicide, Mother."

"Sonya—," she sobbed. "You still have me and CeCe. We're still here for you. We still love you. Try taking comfort in that while you are here."

"I know that. But it doesn't make it hurt any less," Sonya whispered looking towards the door. "Where is CeCe? I thought she'd be in here with you?

"You don't get it Sonya. You tried to commit suicide twice in less than 48 hours. They'll only allow family to see you before visiting hours are up."

"Cece is family. Besides I want to go back home. When can we leave?"

"You can't," Theresa murmured.

"What?"

"I'm sure Trenton told you that he no longer has a Power of Attorney to make decisions for you. Well neither do I. You are a danger to yourself and possibly others. The doctors are keeping you here in the Psychiatric Ward until you are further evaluated by a doctor."

"What?!"

"It's for your own good. You'll be able to talk to a professional about your problems. We've all tried to get you to open up but nothing has worked. And with the attempts, you've taken the decision out of my hands," she said to Sonya as her voice trembled.

"I'm so sorry for the past year Sonya. I really am. But baby, it's time to let go."

"Momma—momma, don't leave me here alone," she panicked finally letting the fear she felt show. She didn't want to be left alone locked down like an animal.

The sadness in her daughter's voice broke her heart. But she would rather have her hate her now, then bury her later. And so Theresa slowly stood up and kissed her daughter on the forehead. "I'll be back tomorrow and if the doctors think it's best for me to see you we'll talk about this some more."

"Momma, don't."

"I love you Sonny," she cried, walking into the hallway.

***

Six Months Later

"Does this shit look like what I asked for?!"

"Not-not exactly sir, but—"

"Let me stop you right there. I asked if this is what I asked you for and the answer is obviously no. There is no but. There is either fix this or pack your shit. Got it?"

"Got it," Randall sputtered as he grabbed the crumpled up sheets of paper and scurried away.

Being the boss at a competitive ad agency was tougher than a lot of people thought it was. There was trying to out maneuver the competition while staying on top of the latest fashion and trends. And that was all while keeping things within a budget and making the client happy.

So when you looked at it from all angles Trenton Sinclair did not have any room for error.

He had gotten his reputation early on in his career. Even as an intern he had made it clear that there was no room for error. He was the first one to arrive at work and the last one to leave. The firm was so impressed with him that he was hired as soon as his internship ended. Now 7 years later Trent was the best of the best at Simon, Birch, and Mitchell.

If he played his cards right he would make partner by the end of the year. And at the age of 29 that was something to be proud of.

The click of his shoes resonated through the quiet hall as he made his way towards his office. The sound of chatter caught his attention but instantly was dismissed when he noticed where it was coming from.

New interns.

The program normally started the first week of November but he had made the decision earlier in the year that if they had help before the holidays it would make a smoother transition. Plus having fresh eyes didn't hurt.

Trenton didn't miss the heated looks he received from his interns nor did he miss the way each one of the young ladies leaned over to watch as he walked past them in his expensive suit. Each of them had just been hired to fulfill part of their requirements for graduation. None of them stood a chance with him, but he was sure that at least one of them would try something. And he would not so gently let them down.

Once he passed them the sound of giggling filled his ears. "Women," he muttered.

The inside of his office was decorated in Earth tones. Light browns and beiges. Most of his colleagues had imagined the inside of his office being dark and brooding. He even laughed when one of the assistants from two floors down gaped at the brighter tone the room conveyed.

The second he sat down he heard the phone ring.

"Yeah."

"Sir, your 2 o'clock is here. Would you like me to send her in?"

"2 o'clock?"

"Yes sir."

"Gloria, I don't have any appointments today."

I mentioned it to you on Monday. You had me move her to today because of the gap in your schedule, but I can always reschedule."

Monday? Trent thought back to what she was referring to and remembered that he had just gotten into a fight with Melissa. He had wanted to break up with her for months but she was a good distraction and for that reason alone he kept her around. But on that day he just couldn't put up with her anymore.

Trent was well aware that the only reason Melissa Dunn was with him was because he was rich. Not Bill Gates rich, but he had enough money to keep him comfortable for the rest of his life. And that was all because he had worked hard for what he got.

But Melissa was the stereotypical gold digger. She didn't work, bragged to all her friends about who she had 'snagged', and tried to spend all of his money when she thought he didn't realize it. It was time for her to go.

And so when she suggested that they finally move in together Trent gave her walking papers.

Needless to say she hadn't taken that too well.

And now he was finding out that he had an appointment. He really didn't need this today.

"Sir? Do you want me to reschedule again?"

"No, it's fine Gloria. Just give me 5 minutes and then send her in."

His finger pressed the button again ending the call. "Fuck."

He had completely forgotten about the job interview. He didn't even have the applicant's information or know her name. No matter, he thought. He'd just get all that information when she came in.

As he went over what to ask her and gathered some of the notes he found on the looming appointment, he heard a loud knock on the door.

"Enter!" he yelled. His head was still down as he shuffled through a few papers that he finally stumbled across. Trent's eyes skimmed over a few lines of her resume and found that she was qualified for the job he was trying to fill.

"Your resume looks really nice. Four years at U of H and an internship with—"

The words died on Trent's lip when his eyes met with a ghost. "Sonya."

"Trenton?"

Silence lingered between the two of them as they watched each other with unreadable expressions. Trent hadn't seen or heard about her since the day he left the hospital. He thought it best to just cut off the offending part of him and that had been Sonya. A clean break was what he needed. And now she was staring him in the face.

His eyes moved down to the papers in his hand. Lifting his gaze up to the header of the paper he saw the name he had carelessly skipped over. "Sonya Philips".

When he didn't say anything Sonya took a step forward but didn't say anything. What was there to say? If it wasn't for the fact that she really needed this job she would have hightailed it out of there.

"Um. Mr. Sinclair? I'm—"

Her voice wavered as she tried to gain her composure. "I'm, Sonya Philips. I applied for Campaign Manager position that was listed on your website."

She wasn't sure what was going on but she had to keep her cool. It had been months since she had seen him. Months of therapy. She couldn't risk it all by falling apart now. She had come in for a job interview and that was what she was going to do.

"I have some experience in marketing and feel that I would be a great asset to your team.

"I see," he mumbled looking at her.

When nothing else was said Sonya pulled down the sleeves of her blazer. This caught his attention and he couldn't stop the next words out of his mouth.

"You're still alive."

****

Sonya's eyes moved up to meet his. Her wide gaze held a slight glimmer of tears. The expression on his face was of shock and that hurt more than she realized. He thought she had finally succeeded in killing herself. And why wouldn't he think that? She had been very adamant in the fact that her life needed to cease.

Sonya looked away as she thought about his words. She was indeed alive. It had taken her some time, but she was slowly getting her life back on track. It was far from over for her, but the road to recovery was a long one. And she was determined to see it through.

So when she had been given a good review and informed that they were finally releasing her into her mother's care she was happy. But after a month of her mother hovering Sonya decided it was time she put her degree to use and look for a job. For two weeks she came back with less and less hope until she saw an ad for Simon, Birch and Mitchell.

That night she submitted her resume crossing her fingers. Two days later she received a phone call.

"Hello?"

"May I speak to Sonya Philips?"

"This is she."

"Hi Miss Philips. This is Gloria Richards from the Simon, Birch and Mitchell agency. We're calling about the resume you submitted this Tuesday."

The air had caught in her lungs and refused to come out as she took a seat on the bed. What was she going to say? What if she screwed up?

She hadn't been expecting a phone interview. All the other places had asked for her to come in or sent her a letter informing her she did not receive the job. And that was if they even contacted her at all.

"Um...yes. I mean, yes, I submitted a resume for the Campaign Manager position."

"We just have a few questions to ask you if you have time."

"Of course," Sonya answered, trying her best not to stutter.

The woman on the other end cleared her throat, "The first question we have is regarding your education. It shows that you graduated from the University of Houston. What was your degree in?"

"I majored in Marketing and Communication."

"It also shows that there was a significant gap in your last year. Is there any particular reason for that?"

At the sound of her question Sonya felt all the blood drain from her face. What was she supposed to say, 'I was in a psych ward for a few months and couldn't finish on time'?

"I had a personal issue arise that prevented me from finishing school when I was supposed to. But I finished my other classes the next semester at the top of my class," Sonya amended.

I see," the lady on the phone answered. For a second it was quiet and then finally she said, "The last thing we needed to know was if you could come in for a final interview next Monday?"