Brenda Breaks Free Ch. 01

Slowly, she let her hands move up and over her breasts. The sensitive tips now were being stimulated by the ridges in her palm. She gripped the soft flesh and the grip on the whole breasts, soon became a tight pinching of her nipples. More shivers came. Her thighs were pulled as tight as she could get them, her buttocks lifted from the bed. With out fully thinking about it, her right hand let go of the breast and covered her vulva. She held it tightly, palm pressing the insistent clitoris, and the fingers stretched out through her pubic hair and curved with the same of her bottom, the tips of her middle there fingers on the fleshy outer lips. She gripped harder. Her clitoris became so sensitive that it was almost painful and her middle finger slipped down in between the lips of her labia.

She knew it was said women could masturbate, like men did, until they climaxed, but she, until that moment never understood what that meant. The feelings were getting overwhelming, too intense, she couldn't stand it any longer and released her breast and vulva. She was shivering as if she were cold. She was sure that there was a female orgasm out there waiting for her, but how to get there without going out of her skin that was what she had to know.

The next day, Saturday, she and the kids went to the book store. She and the kids loved the bookstore, but she was on a new mission. After ensuring no one she knew was in the store she knew, Brenda found a female clerk and quietly asked her "Do you have The Joy of Sex?" She knew of the book from something her sociology professor had said one day. She clerk very matter-of-factly said "Yes, we do and we also have the new More, Joy of Sex."

After only a momentary hesitation she told the clerk she would take both books. So she went home with a new Dr. Seuss book, a book about cowboys, a book about space ships and two sex books. By Monday, even though she hid them from her husband, she had read nearly all of the first book.

On Monday, she could not wait to meet Millie after they had finished registering for spring semester classes. She didn't even wait to get from the Administration building to their favorite lunch spot just off campus before starting "I know I'm going to sound like a spinster from the fifty's when I tell you this." She started "But I think I'm at some sort of turning point in my life, but I just don't know what to believe."

She could tell she had Millie's attention and sympathy. Millie probably had an idea of what kind of issues Brenda was speaking as she had hinted at these things before.

Brenda gathered her courage and went on as they walked the nearly a mile distance to their eatery. It was a sunny crisp morning and the walk was pleasant. "Is the stuff I read about women having orgasms over and over again real, or is it just the stuff of men's fantasy?"

Millie visibly restrained her smile before speaking "Oh, the good Baptist girl has been thinking has she? Or perhaps reading forbidden material?"

"Both" Brenda answered and gave a brief description of her experience Friday night and then told of the books she had bought on Saturday. "In the book the author is a man but writes authoritatively about women's feelings."

"Yes" Millie finally said "I have the book and yes it's written by a man and yes he's right. The book is great. I have a signed copy."

Though Millie was surely more interested in how she got a sighed copy Brenda was on a mission. "So regular women, like you, do those things?"

"What things, have sex?"

"I mean oral stimulation and using artificial penises, have sex in lots of odd positions and things like that"

Millie stepped from the busy sidewalk to the grass and stopped, turned to look at Brenda "Your kidding me aren't you. I mean it's now 1974, not 1874, are you really asking me if I have oral sex, use a dildo or do it in ways other than the missionary position?"

Brenda just looked at her, her silence was her answer. Millie burst our "Good God! You are serious. You really are a total square." She looked at Brenda quizzically then grabbed her by the arm and pulled her back onto the side walk, "Come on girl, we've got lots to talk about. Way more than we can before our next class." She paused for a moment "And I've bee just yakking away about my men, and all the time you acted calm, but in reality you'd never heard anyone talk about sex like that. Right?"

Brenda nodded.

"OK, first off, let me hear what sex is like for you." She asked

"Just sex" Brenda said, the subject was embarrassing on two levels. One she was in a public place, and second because she felt like a total novice to a world in which the younger woman was a master.

"What does that mean? Just sex?"

"Just sex." Brenda repeated "We go to bed, he gets on top and puts his thing in and does his thing, then we go to sleep"

As they walked Millie gave her a side ways glance "And does that do it for you?"

She thought about playing even more stupid than she really was, but decided to answer directly "No."

"I guess not" Millie said in response "Do you ever get off?"

"Have an orgasm?" Brenda said rhetorically "No."

"Even come close?" Millie said as soon as she'd answered and before she could self censor Brenda said "I almost did Friday night but it just got so intense I stopped" with the last word she threw her hand to her mouth, she couldn't believe she'd just said that. She had no intention of telling how she had masturbated, but it just came out.

Millie was un-phased "Well, that's a start. I guess you don't do that very often."

Brenda just choked out "Never, not even a little since I was a girl."

"But Friday night you just decided to play with your self? Why?'

"I guess just hanging out with you. All the sex talk, it just seems so natural to you."

"Well it is natural." Millie said "What's not natural is a grown woman who thinks sex is just five minutes of a guy getting off then it's over"

"Five minutes when I lucky. Sometimes his done almost as soon as he is in me."

Millie voice showed true compassion, like she'd just herd that someone mother had died "I'm so sorry for you. I just can't imagine what your life is like." They entered the restaurant and got their table. Once seated and the waitress had left Millie said "It's a good start you almost getting off last week. Why again did you stop?"

"It just got too intense, to sensitive. It went from relaxing, to tense to almost painful. Is it supposed to do that?"

Millie smiled "The French call it petite morte, or the little death because just as you crest a really big climax it really does feel like your goanna die. It sounds like you were right on the brink. When you get there, keep going. It's like blowing a balloon up until it pops, it gets really hard to do then "bam" it pops all a sudden. But with an orgasm, that's when it feels so good and it's like a wave rushing out from your pussy to your whole body. Mmmm." Millis paused, apparently caught up in her own description.

Brenda thought about what she said "I guess I was almost there, but I should have kept going"

Millie nodded "Yea, I think you were just about there. After you can get yourself off regularly, you can teach your man how do it for you. I guess I was cumming regularly by the time I turned 15. Of coarse you will need to teach your husband from scratch. Of coarse it would be a lot easier to set you up with one of my guys."

It was Brenda's turn to laugh "Yea, right."

Millie repeated earnestly "I'm serious. I've got a couple of guy friends who are very talented in the sack and would be more than happy to spend some time with you."

With an emotional jolt Brenda realized she meant it. She was suggesting she commit adultery. She had worried she might be on a slippery slope even taking about these things, but that idea was a cliff not a slope. Inwardly her basic instinct was to be offended and shocked by the idea, but she made herself focus on the truth that Millie was truly trying to be nice and helpful. And though it would take her several weeks to admit it to herself, she really did envy Millie and her sexual freedom. With a calmness that belied the tremor in her soul she said "I don't think I could do that. But thanks for the offer"

"I won't push you, but let me know if he doesn't come around"

They went on through the lunch Brenda posed ever more explicit questions that Millie was all to eager to answer. They didn't share any Tuesday-Thursday classes so it was Wednesday before she saw Millie after Pre-Columbian American Paleontology. The first thing Millie said was "Dr. Harris is a fox. I'm going like this class" before asking "So, how's my student doing. Have you made it to the big O yet?"

"No" Brenda said, rather down about it "Mike is in town and I couldn't let him catch me doing that."

"Why not?"

"I'd die and he'd..... well I don't know what he'd do."

"He'd get off on it." Millie said incredulously "It is the rare man that doesn't get off on seeing a woman playing with herself. Unless he's got a Madonna/whore complex going on he's going like watching"

"A Madonna/whore complex?"

"Yea" She said "Some men put women into two categories, they are either totally non-sexual like the Holy Madonna, the eternal virgin, Mary mother of Jesus to you Baptist; or the woman is consumed with depraved sexual desires like a whore. Men like that never see their wife as being sexual and have only the most cursory sexual relations. To be honest, relations like you and your husband's"

"Yea" Brenda agreed "I can see that. Mike and I didn't have sex until our wedding night, and even then it was with the lights out and under the covers"

"Does he buy you sexy stuff from Fredrick's of Hollywood?"

"NO!" Brenda said before even thinking. Perhaps that was what was going on. "How do they treat other women, that aren't their holy wife I mean?"

"They are the types that hire young secretaries with big boobs and short skirts, go to strip bars when they are on business trips, and of course screw any girl they can."

Brenda thought, she did not like what it sounded like. Mike has had a series of young pretty secretaries, but as far as she knew he didn't frequent strip bars nor did he have affairs. As far as she knew. "If a guy like that caught his wife being sexual, what would he do?"

"Well, Dr. Franks, in my human relationships class talked about it, That's how I knew about all that. But he said that it causes cognitive dissidence, what he sees is in contrast to what he believes. Most men will simply forbid the woman to do such stuff and if she continues he will treat her like a whore, rather than a Madonna. Some men, more modern open mined men, will rethink their view of women, and see their wife can be both sexual and respectable."

Brenda just mulled over her friend's words.

Millie added "You don't even know if that is how your husband sees things. He might just be a crummy fuck"

They both laughed.

When Brenda came to class on Friday she was all beams as she looked for Millie, but Millie didn't show until just as class started. The professor began but Brenda wasn't listening, she was focused on her success. Discreetly, when Millie sat, she make her fingers in to the shape of an O. Millie looked quizzically. She didn't get it. Brenda covered the front of her mouth and mouthed "I had an orgasm last night".

Millie's eyes brightened and gave her friend a big thumbs up and mouths "Later, tell me latter."

And so she did. Once again the talk to the Campus Dinner was all about sex. But this time Brenda did the talking. "Just like you said, I kept it up after I thought I'd go out of my skin and sure enough, it came. I came. It was amazing. How had I not done that before? And I can do that while having sex?"

"It depends" Millie said "I occasionally come when a guy is in me, but for me the fucking is what gets me most ready to have my partner go down on me, or to get myself off. If the guy is good, getting head is much better, but if he's not it's just distracting."

Brenda heard with new ears. Like she's been let into a secret club and now she knew the coded language. She wondered what it was like to have a man give her oral sex. The books seemed to take it for granted that men do that, but Mike had never kissed lower than her nipples. Millie's offer from earlier in the week popped into her mind. She shocked her self when she thought about taking up Millie on her offer to have sex with one of her guy friends. He skin tingled, especially in her groin at the thought. But, NO, she could not really think about that. She changed the subject, sort of.

"Millie?" She asked "I told you that Mike gets it done in like three minutes. Sometimes less, it's like he's done before I really feel him in me. How long do your boyfriends do it."

"Again it depends, and some guys are so intense I wouldn't want to go for hours. Making love to, like Stephen, well he's hung like a mule and he's very athletic after thirty or forty-five minutes with him I'm done. I my pussy hurts and I am fully spent. On the other hand, I had a lover a few years ago who could keep it up and going till dawn. But he was slow and gentle. We would kiss and hold and just be together sometimes he was in me other times I just felt him on my thigh. When we would finally go to sleep I was completely satisfied, but in a different way. Aside from quickies, which still last a lot longer than your used to, a guy worth bedding a second time will give an hour or so, give or take."

"An hour? I couldn't imagine." But she was imagining, the idea of meeting Millie's friends had taken lodge.

Brenda's next step into this unknown future was going shopping with Millie two weeks later. Mike was home and she, uncharacteristically, told him he needed to watch the kids and she was going shopping with a friend from school. She could tell he was a bit surprised, and would have been down right shocked that under her light jacket and knit top, she was not wearing a bra. She hadn't been outside with out a bra since she was 13. It was, not exactly sexy, but she felt daring and more than a little bit wicked and exposed. She didn't take the jacket off except to try on clothes but she still felt exposed.

They went to Foleys, the department store from which Brenda usually shopped. Millie guided her away from the women's section to the juniors where she snapped up some skirts a good six inches shorter than anything Brenda had in her closet. Millie unnerved her when she followed Brenda into the dressing room. Brenda was acutely embarrassed as she pulled off her blouse to expose her bare breasts, but hid the feeling under a bravado she hoped would fool Millie. For Millie's part she didn't bat an eye when Brenda was nearly completely naked. She did comment "If your going to wear underwear, which you should consider not doing, you've got to get something a little less... less, matronly."

Leaving the store she had purchased, a pair of double knit hip hugger slacks, two mini-skirts, two mini-dresses, three blouses and a pair of black boots, and six pair of very brief bikini panties. From Foleys Millie took her to Henry's Jean Scene and there she got three pairs of, incredibly tight, hip hugger bell bottom Levis. Trying them on she understood why Millie objected to the underwear she was wearing, it came up three or four inches higher than the waist band of the jeans. There they got finally they went to the most dingy store Brenda had ever entered. It was called The Purple Haze and it sold both hippie type clothes and was Brenda could only guess was drug paraphernalia. Here she just let Millie shop. She didn't even try anything on, which was just as well since she didn't relish the idea of undressing in that place. They left with four blouses, well not really blouses, halter tops really, all short enough to leave skin exposed from just below her breast to just above her waist band, and two of them would likely give less coverage than if she were wearing only one of her Playtex bras. She also had a cache of miscellaneous jewelry and accessories. Arriving home, she left everything in the back of her '72 Buick Estate Station Wagon knowing her husband would not be observant enough to realize he brought nothing in the house.

It was Monday after the she'd dropped the kids off at Pope Elementary School that she took the bags from the car. She didn't have time to try on any of the outfits; however Tuesday, as she only had one Tuesday-Thursday class, she was able to give herself a fashion show putting together different outfits using the new wardrobe. She liked the look, very mod; very not Baptists mommy, showing lots of skin. It was a week before she had the courage to try out the new things and even then she wore the green mini-dress with opaque tights underneath and a loose jacket disguising the fact she'd not worn a bra. She had chosen this one because it was the longest of the new skirts or dresses, and even still it was a full 6 inches above her knee cap.

She was very self conscious, especially when she'd removed the jacket as soon as she entered the classroom building. It wasn't that she was overly warm, but she was pushing herself. Otherwise the jacket would have stayed on all day, as it had when then went shopping. The green dress was very pretty, and although it was the longest in the hem, but it was of a very light wool that draped perfectly over her body. Too perfectly, it flowed like water over her ever moving bare breasts and even displayed visible crowns over her nipples. Too exposed; she was about to put her jacket back on when Peggy, one of her twenty year old friends, said "You look great" not half-way across the foyer. She couldn't back out now,

Even before class started, she received more than a few compliments. Was she that much of a prude? She must be or no one would notice. Today she was dressed like many, if not most, of the young women in class. She didn't hear much of the lecture. She was much too wrapped up in her own conflicting feelings and self-evaluation. Was she wrong to dress this way. Certainly the ladies at church would say so. Was this some trick of Satan, luring her into a life of fleshly desire? She been masturbating every day before Mike came home from work and on the nights when he was out of town. She read and reread the stories in his magazines and spend hours naked in her bed exploring all the feelings in her body. It took just a few days before orgasms came easily and she's moved to two and three in a night. Was this enlightenment or a trap? And then there were her fantasies, drawing from Millie's stories and the stories in the magazine. She dwelled on thoughts that a few months ago would have repelled her. And it was those thoughts that brought the best and strongest climaxes. Those fantasies also brought frustration and disappointment at her husband's twice weekly momentary bouts of sexual activity.

Over the next few weeks she tried out others of her outfits to ever growing compliment from her classmates. In Dallas, March brought warm spring weather, so she was able to try out all the new outfits, even the abbreviated halter tops. And the guys, she was getting looks, interested looks from guys more than ten years her junior. And most surprising of all, she wasn't shocked or offended. She even found herself playing up to it; buttoning up one less button on her blouse, letting the short skirt ride up her leg even higher, and most significantly she began to talk, and flirt with some of them.

It was a beautiful warm late March day. Brenda and Millie and a young girl named Jennifer and her semi-boyfriend Bill all had planned a picnic after class on the campus lawn. Brenda had worn a pair of her hip-hugger jeans and the red print halter top that was little more than a thin fabric bikini top, her cleavage spilling out of the top. After class she'd undone the two button and now it was held together only by the tie below her bust.