Brenda's Beginning

It was just a feeling as it began and now it has become a way of life. It started in college when I was dating my first lover, he stated by holding my wrists over my head, he told me that it would allow me to reach a deeper orgasm. In graduate school my Psychology professor requested that a class member become a "case study" for our human sexuality class, I knew he wanted it to be me. As I raised my hand I only thought I knew what was in store for me. When the professor outlined the fact that I would learn more about my 'submissive' side I knew this would unlock part of me that I craved.

I began to research everything that I could about what submissive meant, as I learned more about THAT word the more excited I became. I remembered being held down and how wet and excited I had become. I urged my lovers after that to TELL me what they liked and wanted, I wanted and NEEDED to please them. But now I was the OBJECT of Professor Donald Zimmerman, PhD. Dr. Zimmerman or Doc DZ as he liked to be called knew that I wanted and needed more. He told the class that I would learn and become a submissive for the entire semester; little did I know then that it became a life changing moment. I was given a questionnaire that asked about my sexual experiences, I was not a virgin but many of the things that were asked were things I had never done. The first question was had I ever shaved my pubic hair, that was an easy one, my current lover enjoyed the partial bare look and I was shaven by him into a large V. I was excited that the Doc would know that about me. Question #2, did I ever go out in public without panties, I remembered last summer going to the lake and leaving my panties OFF, it felt so good. I felt great as I moved down the list. Next, what type of hose did I wear, pantyhose when necessary, and a Garter belt and stockings for those special occasions, like last New Years Eve. Good, I have done some of these things.

Well, #4 was getting personal, do I have an orgasm "of my own making," what a nice way to describe it--I thought, do I HAVE to tell him that, YES,I DO that some times??? Ok, 5 asks about oral sex, Yes I LOVE that as the receiver and I WILL do it to THEM if I HAVE TO!! Well #6 asks if I have ever been restrained, does being tied to the bed at a quaint Victorian Bed in New England really count when I was 22? I am beginning to believe that I may be a 'submissive' after all. The last 4 questions weren't too difficult and there I was ready to provide the good Dr. with my deepest secrets.

I called Doc DZ and told him I had completed the questionnaire, he was pleased and asked me to deliver it to his office tomorrow at 3PM sharp. I told him I would be there. I wondered what I should wear; somehow I felt that my usual jeans and a t-shirt were not the right things for the meeting. After looking in my closet, I decided that a dress and strappy sandals would do. I picked a white bra and matching panties, little did I know that would be the last time this semester I was ALLOWED to wear either of them. I came home after my morning classes and showered and dressed for the meeting, my chemistry class ran late and there was no place to park at my apartment so I had to walk two blocks to park my car. I knew that I might be late, remembering that he DID say 3PM sharp! I am sure he would give me a few minutes. After getting ready I decided that I would carry my shoes and walk briskly to the car. I threw them in the back seat and drove to campus and Drs. Office. I put my shoes on after parking and realized that I would NOT be on time. When I got there his outer door was closed, I was surprised but noticed a note taped to the door. It said, Brenda, I said 3PM Sharp, take this note to the Psychology office around the corner and get the clerk to time stamp it. When you return we will discuss your tardiness. I grabbed the note and rushed to get my note stamped, it said 3:12; I knew that I was in trouble. When I got back the outer door was open, and I walked in. Doc DZ said to come in and close the door; I heard it lock as I shut it. The Dr. said that he is not in the habit of waiting for submissives to arrive, he said that if I wanted to be HIS SUBJECT, he did not say OBJECT, now I was a SUBJECT and I would be on time or there would be consequences. Consequences that sounded a bit sinister. I told him I was sorry for being late. He told me that after WE reviewed my questionnaire we would discuss the future.

As we started with the questions, he asked IF I was opposed to having the rest of my pubic hair REMOVED, I said no that would be OK, he said Good! HE then asked if I was wearing panties now, I told him that I was, he asked, IF I told you to remove them RIGHT now what would you do. Rather then answer, I instinctively reached down and let them fall to my ankles, (what did I just do and WHY did I DO IT???) he said EXCELLENT as I stepped out of them. Before we got to the next printed question he asked IF I ever painted my toes, I told him that I do most of the time but they were chipped so I took the polish off last night and did not have time to repaint them, he said be sure that they were a bright RED for the next class. I immediately said Yes, Sir. HE said that it would be the right way to address him from now on. What was I doing, my mind said STOP but my BODY SAID NO GO FORWARD!!! After looking at #3 he asked if I had any stockings, I said yes, and I also have thigh tops. He told me that I WOULD WEAR either of those for each class, I immediately answered YES, SIR!

He then asked when was the last time I had "played with myself" before I answered I felt that a bit degrading BUT I said it was last week SIR, he told me that would be the last time until he told me it was OK. I knew that required a YES, SIR! He quickly asked about oral sex, and I told him exactly what was on the sheet, he said that would change, I did not answer.

Well I knew that #5 would bring about a number of questions, he asked IF I was naked when I was tied to the bed, I said not in the beginning but was after. He asked if that was the only time I was tied up, I said No SIR. He asked how many other times, I told him that my previous lover enjoyed using pantyhose to tie my wrists a number of times, he asked how many and I said 5 or 6, he asked was it 5 or 6, I said it was actually 7 as I relived them in my head. He asked BLUNTLY 5, 6 or 7 what was it? I said it was 7, Sir.

I began to get wet as I was being questioned. NOW he asked a few new questions, first, did a lover ever spank me? I said YES Sir; he asked how many times was I spanked at one time. I BLUSHED and told him that on my last Birthday I received 25 spanks. He asked if they were on my bare butt, I told him that they were. HE asked if I get wet when this happened, I said YES, SIR in the beginning but I was almost crying at the end. HE said almost or did I cry, I said I DID NOT CRY. HE asked if I had ever been spanked with anything other than a hand, I said YES SIR, a RULER and a HAIR BRUSH!! HE said and NO one had worked with you on your submissiveness, I said NO SIR! He said well my dear; you are a submissive and ALWAYS will be. Let's teach you how to dig deep inside of your self and help that submissive side of you grow. I started to cry and he asked IF it was ok to hold me, I said please do SIR!!

He said Ok; let's talk about where we go from here. He asked where I was in my relationships; I told him that I was only casually dating right now. He said wonderful, stop dating RIGHT NOW!! I said YES. SIR! He told me that this class would provide me with some structure in my life and IF I wanted he would assist me even further. I said YES SIR I would like that, and then it began..............

He told me that I WOULD ONLY be allowed to wear panties to the next class and that I would be TOLD to take them off at that time and then go home and put all of them away. I would also be told to shave all of my pubic hair at that time and keep it bald from then on. I asked how I should dress for class tomorrow, and he said just as I am right now! I said YES, SIR. We will do some of the things in class and will add some things that we will do together in my office. Are you ready to do this, MY IMMEDIATE REPLY WAS YES, SIR!! Ok, he said, now let's talk about your tardiness, what do you think we should do about that. I said that I should be punished for not being on time. He said to me how should I punish you for being 12 minutes late. I said that maybe I needed to be spanked for my tardiness. He asked IF I felt I could take 12 spanks, I said YES SIR, and then he said 12 on each cheek? I said IF that were what he felt I NEEDED I would gladly accept it. He said let's do the following things:

• No orgasms of ANY type for 12 days

• Take off my shoes and be barefoot for the next 12 hours

• Count the 12 strokes that I will be spanked

• Stay after class for the next 12 weeks for additional training

• After the first class wear stockings or thigh tops for the next 12 classes

• Buy a pair of nipple clips and wear them for 12 minutes each day for 12 days

I found out that numbers have a huge significance in the life of a submissive. Dr DZ began controlling all aspects of my life.

After the first class, I was shaven BALD, I was told when and where I could wear my shoes and when I had to take them off and EVEN WHEN I COULD NOT even take them. I learned to count the number of times I was spanked.

I wear stockings and a corset when TOLD to do so and NEVER wear panties; I have to ask to wear a BRA. My nipples some times CRAVE to be clipped.

I have learned the feeling of wearing cuffs on my ankles at night, and EVEN feel them during the day when they are safely in my nightstand. I miss them IF I skip a night once in a while. I have been taught to control my orgasms. I WANT and NEED to be taken by my LOVER! The years since that time have flown by but my NEEDS are the same and I am thankful for what DOC DZ started and what my husband continues TODAY!! It is am incredible journey, and there is always more.......to be continued......