Brenda's Learns the Truth

"What made you like it so much?" Tina asked.

"I don't know!" I cried in embarrassment, but then added, "I guess a few things. First, his expression when he realized what I was doing. He obviously loved it."

"And?" Tina asked, a little too quickly.

"He was so excited that he started helping," I answered. "I liked the feel of him over me."

"What else?" Tina asked, reading my expression.

"I liked how it felt when he was done," I added.

"You mean when he came all over your boobs?" Tina asked. I was too embarrassed to answer verbally, so I nodded.

"I can't explain it," I shrugged. "It was just so nice and warm."

"Did you rub it in?" Tina asked.

"Yes," I answered guiltily. "We were at my house and my parents weren't home. Dan had to leave right after he was done because he was already late for curfew. I lay there and rubbed it in."

"Did you taste it?" Tina asked.

"Yes," I admitted, biting my bottom lip.

"What did you think?"

"It was good, very good," I shrugged, not sure what else to say. Tina laughed.

"What happened after that?" she asked.

"Nothing," I shrugged. "We broke up the next week and I started dating Billy."

"Did anything like that ever happen with him?" Tina asked.

"No," I shrugged. "He liked to play with my boobs, but that was about it."

"Why didn't you do what you did with Dan?" she asked.

"It just didn't feel right," I shrugged. "You don't realize how odd it was for me to do it at all! I can't even believe we're having this conversion. It's so not me!"

"You've said that before," she said. "But if it's not you, I'm guessing you might want it to be."

"No!" I cried, blushing again. I was overreacting and I knew it. I blamed the alcohol. Of course, it could be that Tina was right, but I didn't want to think about that.

"No need to stress over it," she shrugged. "It's your life."

"I'm sorry for snapping," I said, letting out the breath I hadn't even realized I'd been holding.

"You want to make it up to me?" Tina asked.

"How?" I asked carefully. She grinned.

"I'm guessing that when you wake up tomorrow, you're going to regret a lot of what we talked about tonight," she answered. "In fact, I think you'll be too embarrassed to even talk to me again, just like last week."

"It's possible," I answered honestly.

"Then I need you to do me one favor," Tina said. "Don't worry. I know you're not a lesbian. I won't ask you to sleep with me again. At least not tonight."

"Then what do you want?" I asked.

"A kiss," Tina smiled.

"No way!" I cried.

"Oh relax!" she laughed. "It's just a kiss. Girlfriends kiss all the time."

"Not my girlfriends," I retorted.

"I do," she said. "And you've called me your friend, at least for tonight."

I frowned as I tried to force thoughts through my head. My alcohol-fogged brain really didn't see that one simple kiss would be that big of a deal. Of course, somewhere inside another part of me was screaming not to do it. I knew it was silly, but I could feel it just the same. I opened my mouth to tell Tina no, but then I saw her looking at me.

Tina really was a beautiful girl. Her eyes were filled with a lot of things, not the least of which was desire, but there was also humor there. I remember how much she made me laugh and how badly I needed it. I really did feel a lot better and it wasn't just because of the alcohol.

"If you like," Tina said into the silence. "You can imagine you're kissing Jake."

"Please!" I grimaced, causing her to laugh.

"How about Steve?" she asked.

"That's more like it," I said, smiling slightly.

"Is that a yes?" Tina asked. I couldn't answer her, but I did nod once, slowly and nervously. The smile was gone from my features. Frankly, I didn't know what I was feeling, or more truthfully, I couldn't categorize it.

Tina started moving toward. I looked at her and saw the warm smile there. Her lips were not nearly as full as my own, but they were full enough and soft looking. I could feel my heart jump in my chest as she moved close enough for me to feel her breath against my face.

"Relax," she smiled. "This won't hurt a bit." I swallowed and nodded, but didn't really relax.

'Why am I letting her do this!' I cried silently. 'I can still stop her!' But I didn't.

Tina kiss was warm and gently. The first thing that hit me was that the feel of her lips against mine didn't disgust me. In fact, they felt good! Tina was an excellent kisser. I'm sure some of it had to do with all the practice she got, but most of it had to just be Tina.

I don't know what came over me, but I let my lips part slightly in the middle of the kiss. That was all the invitation Tina needed. Her tongue brushed my lips and now she was wrapping her arms around me. Tina's boobs weren't nearly as large as mine, but they felt amazing against me. I could feel her nipples hardening against my chest, which of course caused mine to do the same. I lost myself in the feel of her.

"You need to decide," Tina said suddenly, pulling away. "We have to stop now unless you want this to become much more than a simple kiss." I blinked twice before I regained control and was able to answer.

"Not tonight, probably not ever. I'm sorry." It was Tina's turn to let out a long breath.

"Don't be," she said, trying to hide her disappointment. "You've been honest with me all night and that's all anyone can ask. Of course, I could wish you weren't such a good kisser."

"Me?" I said, shaking my head. "You're the first girl I've ever kissed and it shouldn't have been that good."

"So then there's hope?" Tina smiled.

"Well," I said, trying to think of something to say that wouldn't hurt her feelings and also wouldn't be a lie. It came to me suddenly. "Let's just say if it comes down to Jake being the last man on Earth and me having to follow up on my threat, it will definitely be you."

"Gee, thanks," she laughed, rolling her eyes.

"I have to go to sleep," I said, needed to get away from Tina. She was making me think about things I didn't want to.

"I'm sure we'll be seeing each other on campus," she smiled as she started to walk away. Her last words to me were, "I hope you wake up tomorrow and still want to be friends."

"I hope so too," I said softly.

I worked hard at not thinking about the kiss and what it promised, but that didn't stop my mind from replaying the other parts of Tina and my conversations in my head. She hadn't only talked about lesbianism. She'd also talked about guys. I found myself wondering what it would feel like to straddle a guys lap and ride him to orgasm. I wondered if I really could enjoy being held down while some guy thrust inside of me from behind. I wondered a lot of things.

'I really better get to sleep before I do something stupid,' I thought. 'Like go find this Steven and throw myself at him. Or worse, Jake!' I refused to think about going after Tina. I made my way inside my room.

Kelly was still out so I quickly undressed, leaving myself completely naked. I also got myself a drink from the mini fridge. I downed half of it before putting it down and started slowly rubbing my full breasts. I was far gentler than the few guys I let do the same thing.

There was a tingling between my legs again. I wasn't surprised. I was quickly learning that conversations with Tina did that to me. I'm sure the kiss helped. I took one last drink before getting into bed.

I pinched my nipples gently and bit back a moan. I was even more in need than last week! I'd always wondered something, but I'd been too uncomfortable with the thought of trying it. Not tonight. I tilted my head forward and used both hands to lift one breast to my mouth. It reached!

My nipple was soft and rubbery, and it felt very good when I sucked on it. It came to me that I probably was just as much of a pervert as Tina, but only when I was by myself.

"Like that makes a difference," I said, but I knew it did. I let go of my breast.

I can't say that my hands moved of their own accord once I was lying down, but they did move in ways that drove me crazy. I couldn't remember ever being this horny before! My legs were spread wide as my fingers danced. This was suddenly more than just about simple release. I stayed away from my clit since I knew that would be the end of it, and I didn't want that, not yet. I teased myself as unmercifully as I could because it felt so good!

At one point, a picture of Tina's face just before she kissed me popped into my head. I felt my excitement peak to a new level. I moaned as it grew more slippery between my legs. I knew thinking about Tina was wrong, but it helped and I was too horny to stop myself, at least until my thoughts started getting far more intimate.

"I need to think about something else!" I groaned, and then suddenly it came to me. "Or someone else! Steven!"

And that's what I did. I thought about a guy I didn't know and had only seen from a distance. I imagined what it would feel like to have someone big inside of me. I know most girls supposedly don't care how big a guy is down there, but I was curious. Okay, more than curious.

I pictured myself straddled Steve's hips, feeling him deep inside and riding him with everything I had. I pushed two fingers inside myself. They felt so good! This was going to be the best orgasm of my life. I just knew it!

"Yes!" I moaned to myself, thinking of Dan once more. I'd seen him up close. It was something else! He wasn't huge, but I remember how his hardness felt between my boobs as he straddled my chest. "I should never have broken up with him to go out with Billy."

Billy. How could such a handsome and nice guy be so useless in bed? I used to blame myself for how bad it was, but after talking to Tina I was starting to believe it wasn't me. I owed her for that if nothing else.

"I paid my debts to her with that kiss!" I gasped.

I knew that wasn't fair. I'd enjoyed the kiss just as much as Tina had, but I wasn't ready to think about that. I didn't know if I'd ever be ready. On the other hand, I didn't want to think about Billy either.

He wasn't particularly well endowed, but then again he wasn't small either, at least not if what they say is average is true. What we did was enjoyable, but not great. I'm sure part of it was that he wasn't inside of me very long before he lost it, but I had a secret fear that it was more than that. Maybe there was something wrong with me down there? Yet, I couldn't deny that what I was doing right now felt good. It was so confusing!

"Maybe a big guy would feel better," I mused, picturing Steven and even Jake. I moaned and decided to focus on Steven once more. At least he wasn't a jerk.

"Come on Steven!" I groaned, letting my imagination go wild. "Give it to me! Take me like Tina described!"

I couldn't resist. I rolled onto my stomach and reached under myself. I had to raise my hips to make room for my hand, but that was fine. It made me feel more open and vulnerable, which made it easy for me to imagine being taken like this. I pictured Steven stroking in and out of my from behind. Three of my fingers kept pace. It felt amazing!

Suddenly it wasn't Steven in me, but Jake. He was a big guy and strong. I imagined how it would feel to have him pushing in and out of me. I could almost feel my body shaking with each thrust. Tina had said his cock was even bigger than Steven's. I tried to imagine how that would feel. I moaned loudly.

Tina was suddenly in my daydream. Her lips found mine as Jake continued to ride me from behind. Her mouth tasted as amazing as I remembered and I felt my body close to release.

"Wow!" Kelly cried, snapping on the light. I hadn't heard her come in. I hadn't heard anything. I was too lost in my fantasy. "That is so hot!"

"Oh damn!" I cried, pulling my hand out from under me.

"No!" Kelly cried. "Don't stop! Finish!"

"I can't!" I found myself crying. "Not in front of you!"

"Let me help," Kelly smiled hungrily as she moved toward me.

"No!" I cried, but she was faster than I was. I tried to sit up, but Kelly pushed me back down on my stomach and thrust her fingers inside me.

I was so wet that they slipped in and all I could do was moan for a moment. I tried to move again after that, but it was a mistake. All it accomplished was making her fingers go deeper. They were much further inside of me than mine were before and despite some pain, it felt amazing!

"That's it!" the redhead cried, as she reached around with her other hand and started playing with my clit. "Let yourself go!"

"This is so wrong!" I moaned, but I was past caring. No, it was worse than that. I liked it! I liked what Kelly was doing to me. "I'm going to explode!"

"Do it!" Kelly cried, driving her fingers deep and rubbing my clit unmercifully with her other hand.

"More!" I demanded huskily. "I want more!"

"Wow!" she said in appreciation. "I never guessed you could be this way."

"Finish me!" I begged. "Please!"

"With pleasure!" Kelly cried lustfully. I'm not sure what she did. Her fingers twisted inside of me and hit a spot that send me over the edge so completely that I screamed into the mattress.

"Yes!" I cried as I lost total control of my body. It felt like a massive sexual charge caused every synapse in my body to fire.

I shuddered for quite a while. I was more than half passed out when it finally ended. I opened my eyes only long enough to see Kelly smiling sexily as she licked my juices from her fingers. She was so intent on what she was doing that she didn't notice me watching. That didn't stop me from seeing the hunger and need in her. Now that my orgasm was done, it frightened me. I closed my eyes.

"Brenda?" Kelly asked a few moments later. I ignored her. I didn't want to face what I had done, much less do more, and I knew that's what she wanted. Besides, I was too exhausted to deal with the aftermath tonight. I'd have to find a way soon, but that was a problem for tomorrow.

**********

"What am I going to do?" I asked myself as I walked across campus. The sun was barely up and I had no idea where I was going. I woke up early and saw Kelly lying in her bed. She was naked and had obviously taken care of herself after I passed out. I dressed as quickly as I could and left. I needed time to think.

A part of me felt oddly guilty because of the release my roommate gave me with out me returning it, but I couldn't do it. Besides, it's not like I asked her to do it. I even tried to stop her!

"Yeah, right," I mumbled.

I could have stopped Kelly, but it felt too good. In fact, whether I wanted to admit it or not, it felt even better than when I took care of myself, and it shouldn't have. I wasn't a lesbian. I liked guys. I should have been horrified and disgusted, but despite my wanting to feel that way, I didn't. In fact if I was being completely truthful with myself, a small part of me felt disappointed that I'd fallen asleep last night instead of seeing what happened next.

"Would it have been that bad?" I asked, stunned by my question. I shook my head and cried, "Of course it would!"

A bird on a nearby tree limb flew away, frightened by my outburst. I wanted to join it in flight. I would love to just disappear into the sky and forget all of this. It was all so confusing. Intellectually I could admit certain things to myself, but obviously despite enjoying what happened, I was having problems accepting what it all meant emotionally. Or was it that emotionally I accepted it and intellectually I was having problems? My head felt like it was ready to burst. I decided to try and forgot it all for a while. I went to the student union to eat breakfast.

I was the first one served. The place had barely opened when I entered. I sat there for quite a while trying to think about something else, anything else. The only conclusion I came to by the time I was done was that I still wasn't ready to go back to my room and face Kelly. I started wondering around campus again. I'm not sure how long I did it before my roommate tracked me down. I didn't see Kelly until she was walking next to me.

"Are you okay?" she asked, with honest concern.

"I will be," I answered.

"You're pretty freaked out, aren't you?" the redhead asked.

"What do you think?" I answered sarcastically, but I instantly felt bad and added, "Sorry."

"I understand," she said kindly. "Learning to accept what I am wasn't easy, especially not after the first time."

"I'm not like you!" I snapped, feeling bad again, but this time refusing to apologize.

"Only time will tell," she shrugged, but she was smiling knowingly. It irritated me to no end.

"Kelly," I began. "I like boys." Yet, I wondered if it were true. I didn't much care for Billy or what had happened with him. On the other hand, I had felt something with Dan even before our last time together.

"I don't," Kelly replied. "I never have."

"So we are different," I said confidently.

"Are you sure you're not just trying to convince yourself?" she asked.

"Of course I am!" I snapped. "But that doesn't mean I'm wrong."

"But it doesn't mean you're right either," the redhead said.

"Let's see," I said, my mind racing as I looked around campus.

I did something I never would have believed, but I was just too confused and frustrated to care. There were two guys moving down the path toward us. The one on the left was plain. He was also very tall and wide, hulking almost. He was actually a little bit frightening when it came down to it. I probably would have let them pass by if his friend hadn't been cute.

"Pardon me," I said. They both smiled. The cute one had a nice dimple. The other one's smile was nice too, but it didn't make him any less threatening.

"Yes?" the cute one asked, obviously finding it hard not to look at my boobs while he was talking to me. At the moment it was nice to see that I still had that affect on guys. The bigger one took one long look at them too, but then raised his eyes to mine. I quickly looked away.

"I'm Brenda and this is Kelly," I said.

"Bert," the cute said.

"Leo," the big guy added.

"Would one of you please kiss me?" I asked, refusing to think about how crazy my request was. "I need to prove a point."

"You're kidding?" the cute one asked. Leo didn't bother. He surprised me by taking me into his arms and kissing me roughly.

I tensed at first, but he was a good kisser. I slowly relaxed and enjoyed it. The longer we kissed the more confident I was that I liked guys. My confusion started to lift. I put more effort into the kiss and Leo seemed to appreciate it.

"Hey!" I heard Kelly cry. It was followed by a slapping sound. I pulled away from Leo. Bert was standing there rubbing his cheek.

"I'm a lesbian!" Kelly was crying. "And even if I wasn't, that doesn't give you the right to just kiss me!"

"Sorry," poor Bert replied. "I just thought..."

"No you didn't," I cut in. "But it happens. No harm done. Thanks guys."

"Hey wait!" Leo said. "That's it? Don't you want another kiss?"

"Not right at the moment," I smiled. "But thanks. You're a good kisser and it helped a lot."

"Um, you're welcome," he laughed, shaking his head. "Any time."

Leo wasn't particularly good looking, but he wasn't ugly either. He was pretty big and it felt good to be held in his strong arms. I found myself wondering what else might feel good with him.

"I might take you up on that someday," I grinned, surprised by my own words, but not terribly so. I was starting to think that Tina was right. Maybe I was changing now that I was away from home.

"In that case," he said, grabbing me and pulling me close. "Let me make sure you have something more to remind you."

Leo kissed me again, this time more passionately. His tongue thrust into my mouth roughly. I felt myself responding. I also felt him against me. His excitement grew and I could feel it against my stomach.