Bridge Group Ch. 10

Chapter 10 – Pleasure and Pain – Always Together

Joanne:

“My god, …… I’m lonely!”

The words sounded hollow in the huge house; not even an echo because of all the carpets and drapes. The past few months have convinced me that life alone is not for me. Jack and I living together for all these years created a dependency that only comes clear now that I am alone. No matter what life together had in the way of complications, the uncomplicated life alone is …. .. complicated. The silence of the house bore down around me and I felt purposeless.

Getting with old friends is a problem. Most of them are married and you know what they say about three being a crowd. Even getting together with the girls is difficult because they don’t understand exactly why Jack and I are separated and they feel uncomfortable about it. Conversation becomes tense and difficult.

I turned out the lights and went up to my lonely bed. It was not possible to think of what Jack might be doing. And yet, to call him would be giving in. I wasn’t ready for that, and besides, our conversations still become hostile. I blamed Jack, and he certainly blames me.

Fitful sleep led inevitably to another day dawning. It was Thursday, time for my weekly visit to Good Hair Lair and my longtime hairdresser, Joy.

“You know, Joanne, why don’t you and I go out for dinner sometime? It would be fun!” she said, tipping me back into the shampoo sink while she tested the water temperature.

I looked at Joy with a wry smile. I realized she was serious. Joy had been doing my hair for five years, at least. My weekly appointment was usually an adventure. Guessing what her hairstyle would be, guessing what new adventure her single-mother lifestyle had produced during the past week; it was always something new. We had a lot of laughs comparing our differing live styles over the years.

t would never have occurred to me that we had enough in common to make an evening together of interest. She is aware that I am on my own since Jack decided not to come home and she also knew that I was having my ups and downs. I had even told her of my young lover, to which her encouragement had been: “Good for you! You deserve it! About time you took care of Number 1!”

“You’re serious,” I said, smiling into the gray-blue eyes framed today with black hair streaked generously with platinum, curving under her cheeks.

“Sure!” She should have been chewing gum to make the stereotypical hair stylist complete, but instead there was just that devilish grin with lots of white teeth behind bright red lipstick and a thorough make-up job. “Ever been to Captain Billy’s? You’ll love it.”

I thought it over, staring at the ceiling, as Joy washed my hair and continued her steady flow of conversation. I said nothing, still thinking that it was a bit strange going out to dinner with Joy knowing that her nightlife included casual romantic adventures that spiced up her chatter.

As she spun me around to see the result of her labors, she grinned into the mirror.

“So, …. What ‘ya say?”

“Looks fine, as usual. You couldn’t take out those wrinkles while you’re at it, take about ten years off?”

She laughed at my joke.

“Hey, you’re looking great! Don’t need any years taken off. You’d be too much competition.”

“So, …. What do you say, Joanne, want to take a walk on the wild side?”

I paused and stared into her eyes. Smiling self-consciously, I finally replied.

“Well, .. .. why not? It would be fun.”

“Great, how about tonight?”

“OK, tonight it is! I had better drive and meet you, though. I think you might outlast me.”

Billy himself greeted me at the door, leaning against one of those fake posts with a huge rope twined around it that seafood restaurants usually have.

“Bet you’re looking for Joy, Right?” He smiled expectantly, slapping the menu against his hand. “She told me to watch out for her glamorous girl friend.”

He led me to the back of the bar area where Joy seemed deep in conversation with a good-looking guy in a tie and jacket. The music was quiet and the lighting subdued. Joy’s long legs flashed around toward me as I approached.

“Ah, there you are. Our table ready, Billy?”

She slipped off the tall stool, displaying silky legs as the young man gaped at her, then looked disappointed as his eyes took me in. Her skirt rode up over voluptuous thighs and she landed smilingly in front of me.

“Nice talking to you, Jeff. This is my friend, Joanne. Joanne, Jeff.”

“Uh, hullo,” He muttered, not forgetting to smile.

“Sorry I’m a little late,” I apologized.

We went off to a table on the upper level of the plush restaurant, leaving Jeff looking longingly after Joy as she switched her cute little fanny through the maze of tables.

It was easy talking to Joy. We didn’t have the baggage that existed with my married friends, and I soon found myself letting it all hang out. My innerrmost thoughts about my life alone spilled out.

“So, are you seeing this young guy now?”

I looked into my lap for a moment before responding.

“Occasionally, yes. I can’t seem to resist …,” I smiled sardonically into her smiling eyes.

“The sex is good, then, right?”

“Yes, the sex is good. He’s becoming a good lover, actually. I guess I’m addicted. I keep telling myself that I have to just cut it off, but then he comes home from school and, well ….” I trailed off into silence and looked off over the restaurant, which beginning to fill up.

“Would I know him?” She laughed, realizing how that sounded. “I mean ..”

“No, I don’t think so. Just one of the neighborhood hunks. It started as one of those sexual fantasy conversations that Jack brought up. But then, it got closer and closer to reality, and suddenly, …. It was real.”

“No kidding, ….that is .. well, .. . wild!” She laughed and then stifled the laugh.

The wine was good and I found myself relaxing for the first time in weeks --relaxing and letting my hair down to an eager listener.

Dinner came and I picked at it, continuing to air my woes and not a little of my sexual adventures. Joy pressed carefully for more details, seeding the conversation with her own experiences.

“ …. …. So, once in awhile I let someone take me home, .. .. you know, nothing serious, …. Just loneliness, .. well, also just needing to get laid, let’s face it.” She laughed a bit too loudly and looked toward the bar self-consciously. “But, sex is good, for chrissake!” she ended, reaching to touch my wrist.

I nodded agreement. “I haven’t done the bar scene so far, Joy, but then, I am still married.”

“So?” she said. “What do you think Jack is doing? You think he is sitting home looking out the window? Not likely!”

“You’re probably right. But, anyway, I don’t think I can do that. Wouldn’t solve my real problem, I guess.”

“Where’s the little girls’ room?” I said, looking around.

“That way; you go ahead, I’ll meet you in the bar, then, OK?”

The Ladies’ Room was large and sparkling clean. As I washed my hands, I looked into the mirror into the eyes of the beautiful black girl next to me. She smiled.

“Hi.”

“Hi, having a good time? Nice place isn’t it?” I said.

“Yes, and yes,” She said, her white teeth brilliant against full red lips.

She was dressed tastefully, and the dress emphasized her gorgeous figure. The silk scarf around her neck was perfect with her skin color and with the dress. She looked enough like a model to be one. I watched as she fussed with the neckline, leaning forward to see how her cleavage looked. It looked lovely, her breasts round and inviting, even to another woman.

I followed her out and we chatted, walking together down the hall, and then parted as she turned down the steps to the lower level dining area. A row of plants served as a divider.

“Bye! Nice talking to you,” She smiled.

I waved and then watched her pert bottom and swinging skirt as she walked gracefully down the stairs. I glanced around for Joy and then swept my eyes over the lower level to see the black girl join her date at a table in the back.

He was white.

He was older.

He was Jack!

A lump formed in my throat. I realized that I was very jealous. The jealous reaction burned. I wanted to storm over to the table and demand an explanation, but I didn’t. Instead, I turned and took my rage to the end of the bar where Joy was already in conversation with a man.

“This is my friend Joanne. Joanne, this is … did you say David?”

“Derek,” he corrected, “glad to meet you, Joanne.”

They were facing each other and Joy’s skirt draped across shapely legs. I couldn’t help thinking that her skirt tented across her thighs where you couldn’t see her panties, but formed a cave where a man’s eyes would begin yearning to see the panties just an inch from sight. I wondered if it was intentional. She touched his knee as she made a point. I wasn’t tuned in to the conversation yet, my mind and eyes being on the couple at the other end of the restaurant.

Derek signaled to a friend across the bar and I saw him make his way toward us. Derek introduced him as Craig. Craig turned on his brightest smile and asked me to dance.

“Yes, I’d love to,” I smiled up at him. I realized this was crazy, but it wouldn’t hurt to give Jack something to think about, I thought.

Each time we turned, I looked out to see if Jack was looking our way, and each time I was disappointed. I wanted him to feel the same jealous, empty feeling that I had in seeing him. Craig’s hand slipped down from my waist to my hip. I thought a moment, then pressed closer to him. His hand smoothed across my back and stroked the band of my bra. I had to admit that it was a seductive thing to do, just hinting at intimacy, exploring my underwear. I felt his finger find the size tag under my dress and trace its outline.

“What are you doing, “ I giggled, and looked up into his eyes.

Craig grinned. “Exploring, just exploring. Making a mental map,” he laughed.

I laughed along with him and felt his thigh between mine as he turned to make that contact happen. My mound rode against his thigh and I felt his erection inside the thigh I was riding against. It felt nice, even though I had no intention of being picked up.

His hand pressed against my bottom, urging me closer. I pulled his hand back to respectability.

My mind was across the room, though. I finally decided that I had every right to stalk across the room and confront Jack. After all, we are still married and he is cheating on me, regardless of what I have done. “If he thinks he is going to go completely unscathed when he is out with some tramp, he has another think coming!” I thought.

Craig’s hand strayed lower on my hip.

“Someone is getting ahead of himself, don’t you think?” I said it playfully and he just laughed and returned his playful hand to my bra strap.

“Sorry about that!”

“That’s OK. You’re a good dancer, Craig!” I offered.

I turned to scan the restaurant and found that Jack and the black girl had left. Now the empty feeling returned. The music stopped and we went back to join Derek and Joy. Derek’s hand rested on the black nylon of her thigh and they were deep in conversation.

“I’m going to the ladies’, Joy, want to come?”

“Yes, coming!” She replied. Derek leaned close and nuzzled her cheek as she slid seductively off the stool between his open legs.

“Do you like him?” She muttered, taking my arm as we walked down the hallway.

“Oh, he’s a nice guy, Joy. But I don’t want to lead him on. I should leave soon.

“Leave? Why? You seem to be getting along pretty well on the dance floor.”

“Don’t be silly, I’m a married woman. This is just not my scene. I haven’t been out like this in, what, 20 years, more than that, actually. I laughed and nudged her playfully. “Really, I should go. You should stay, though. No problem, I don’t want to be in your way.”

“I can’t keep both of them, Jo!” She opened the door and I went in.

We were in adjoining booths.

“You should have a good night out, you know. You’ll get cabin fever. I think Craig has the hots for you.” Her laughter echoed against the pink tiled walls.

“I might have one more dance. He’s cute though, isn’t he.”

“Yes, he is.”

When I stood up, I noticed the wine was having an effect and braced myself between the walls for a moment.

We walked back toward the bar. I agreed to stay a bit longer, and Joy urged me to let myself go, and have a good time.

“You need it!” she said, smiling devilishly.

“Here’s my dance partner!” Craig said over Derek’s shoulder. “You’re just in time, Joanne, the band just came back.”

“Lead on, MacDuff,” I said, laughing and slipping under his arm for one last turn around the dance floor.

Craig twirled me out and then back in against his body and I felt his hand trail softly across both breasts, as if by accident. He was a seductive one, I thought.

“I have to be going soon, you know,” I said.

“Not so soon. Who will I dance with? Derek is taken!”

We laughed about that and he pulled me closer. I could feel his erect cock against my stomach and, in spite of myself, I intentionally brushed against it as we danced. There is nothing so sexy as the feel of a man’s cock brushing against you through his trousers. It is always so firm and warm and so completely and totally sexual. It’s wonderful, I have to admit. I let it stroke against me a little more as we danced slowly and moved less and less. Finally, we stopped and swayed together, enjoying his cock sliding against the silky slipperiness of my skirt and slip and panties.

“Why must you leave?” he asked, his breath soft in my ear.

“Well, It’s not my scene, you know. I’m married, and haven’t been out like this for too many years to count.”

“But you are such a good dancer. I don’t often get to dance with someone who knows how.”

He lead a few more steps, turning us in a circle and I felt his cock slip smoothly across my stomach from one flank to the other.

“Not mine, either, by the way.”

“Not your what?” I said, puzzled.

“Not my scene. I usually just stay in the hotel and let Derek go out on his own. I just felt like getting out tonight. It’s depressing hanging around a hotel room. I’m married too, by the way.”

“Shame on you! What would your wife say to dancing with me .. .. uh, so close, …. I mean, .. like this?” I pressed my mound a little tighter for a moment and grinned up at him.

“Well, .. .. I’m not sure.” He smiled down at me.

“I don’t think she would like it, do you?”

“Well, sad to say, she might not care. Given that she may be having it on with a neighbor tonight while I’m out of town.”

“Oh? Why do you say that?” I asked, looking up into his eyes.

“Ah, well, I’m not absolutely sure; just some signs .. … .. . Not sure what to do, either.” His voice trailed off.

“I’m sorry,” I muttered into his chest. “I know what you mean.”

“You do? Really?”

“Yes, my husband and I are having a little problem too. Not all his fault, I have to admit. As a matter of fact, he was here earlier, with someone else. I couldn’t decide what to do until it was too late and they left.” I leaned my cheek against him and stared bleakly across the room.

“Jesus. You’re kidding!”

“No. It’s always more complicated than people think,” I said.

“True,” he agreed.

Craig led the way to a table against the wall. Joy and Derek were still in flirting positions, sipping their drinks.

“Now, it looks for all the world like Joy and Derek have things all sorted out and no complications at all. How are they managing that?” he asked.

“Well, it always looks that way from the outside I suppose?” I smiled across the table and he signaled for a drink. “What did you mean about your wife being with a neighbor? None of my business, of course.”

He looked down at the table, his expression sad and serious. He began talking about his problems. “Well, I’m overstating it a bit, perhaps. Our sex life has just become dull. Uninteresting. Boring. That sounds awful, doesn’t it?”

“Well, we all think that once in awhile, I imagine,” I suggested.

“This has been a long time, I’m afraid. I think neither of us knows what to do about it. I get angry because she doesn’t seem interested. She clearly thinks it’s all I ever think about and that I’m a pervert. Things like that.” He looked at me with a wry smile and sipped the drink that had just arrived.

I looked at him questioningly. He continued.

“Like, I tried to add interest by suggesting playing out some fantasies. She went bananas! Thought it was awful. ‘You don’t love me anymore,’ .. .. that sort of thing.”

“Maybe you picked the wrong fantasy,” I said.

He looked at me quizzically. “I don’t think she thinks people should have fantasies!”

“Everyone has fantasies.” I reassured him, “you probably only suggested YOUR fantasies, not hers.”

“That’s interesting. Why do you think everyone has them?”

“Ah, well, .. for example, when you find someone who is a kindred spirit on some mutually hot subject, .. .. and you find yourself talking intently? You inevitably have a fantasy – you think it would be neat to be closer, more intimate, have more time together, something like that. Right?”

“Yes. True. Never thought of it as fantasies, though.” He smiled and leaned across the table, chin on his hands. “You mean like you and I, .. .. tonight?”

I had to smile. “Yes, .. yes, .. I guess so. Sure! Exactly like this. Don’t you think you are having a fantasy right now?”

“Yes, are you too?” He laughed and then sucked his lips between his lips.

“I admit it, yes. You see what I mean?” I laughed.

“Are they the same fantasy, I wonder?” He leaned closer and smiled eargerly.

“Probably not quite the same,” I said gently.

I told him the rest of the story of how Jack had seduced me into tiny fantasies which let to bigger and wilder ones. He listened with complete attentiveness.

After I finished, he started telling me similarly detailed accounts of his frustrations. “Now to me that sounds a delightfully exciting way to get some interest and excitement back.” He went on to discuss his wife’s view that he never touched her except when he wanted sex or wanted her to do something perverted! The story went on and on.

“Isn’t it amazing that we can sit and talk so openly like this?” He asked at last. “If we were husband and wife, we would be sitting here just thinking our own thoughts!”

I looked away and then nodded slowly.

“Yes, it’s true, .. .. too often true!. We get so used to each other and have preconceived notions about the other’s responses after so many years, I guess. What do you think we should do about it?”

“It sounds like you and Jack both want to get it back. But, neither is willing to admit it to the other. I think you will be able to do it. You have to find someway to each say you’re sorry. How’s that for oversimplifying it from afar/”

“Maybe not too bad,” I laughed quietly.

“Your turn, Joanne, how do I solve my problems? How do I make it exciting again? How do I get to play out my fantasies, for a start? Do I have to go outside marriage and find the fantasy?”

“I don’t know about that. But it sounds like Lori, .. .. .. you said her name was Lori, right?”

He nodded.

I continued, “We all play the character that we have taught ourselves to be. Or, what someone taught us to be as we were growing up. We won’t do anything that doesn’t fit into that self-image. My theory is that you have suggested your own fantasies and they are not things that fit into Lori’s self-image.”

He looked Intently at me and silently led me to the dance floor. He curled me gracefully into his arms until I was tightly against his body once again, my cheek against the rough tweed of his jacket, the scent of his aftershave and his body in my nostrils. His thigh pressed between my legs once again.