Britt On The Go

CHAPTER 1

It was rumored the city's third TV channel ZEE-TV was on its last legs. There had been rumors before when FOX cut its ties with the station but it then received a limited news and program service from a New York-based agency and it struggled on with up to 20% of the city's peak time viewers but that figure had begun to ebb.

Many viewers liked viewing programs largely uninterrupted by ads, because not many advertisers placed ads with the station, and its saved money by playing B-grade movies that turned out included many cult movies that were all the rage thirty of so years ago. And so cults were remembered and the young folk laughed themselves near senseless at such titles as 'Bozo Goes to Paris' and 'Giant Sewer Rats Threaten New York'.

At 6:25 viewers watched to see Mandy Wade's daughter read the weather for the first time. The previous night Mandy, a former State Beauty Queen and wife of the station's owner Slim Wade, a former star quarter-back, had read the weather for the last time and introduced Britt Wade who had been working in Europe for four years after graduating with a master's in broadcasting communications.

Britt read the weather report. "Now with that crap out the way – they could have easily kept it simple and said 'More of the same' but never mind. I'd like to know if there's anyone out there who could mail me a recipe for raspberry jam? I've just arrived home after several years to a calamity: mom has lost her recipe for my favorite jam. Our mail and email address should be on screen about mid-thigh. Sorry my dress is so short but French men went crazy about my legs and that's left me with an inflated ego and an over supply of short dresses. Good night everyone and thanks for being so loyal to mom reading the weather all these years."

Slim Wade switched off the set and said to his wife, "Britt articulates well and her timing is great."

"Yes, we have been rehearsing."

"What's this about raspberry jam Mandy? You only know how to heat prepared food."

"Search me? It's a gimmick she has some up with. She's attempting to develop affinity with viewers. I doubt she can keep it up."

"Well displaying legs like that she is unlikely to shed our viewers," Slim grinned. "I haven't seen much of your legs lately."

"Oooh," said Mandy.

Next evening Britt read the forecast standing in the middle of the studio floor while four men emptied sacks of mail around her feet. She finished with the weather and said, "Oh you good people. Today I received these 2447 letters you can see around my legs, plus almost 300 courier deliveries of pots of raspberry jam with recipes enclosed plus almost 5000 emails. I can't believe this response and yet my mom Mandy warned me. She said be true to your viewers and they will be true to you. Well it's going to take me weeks sorting out this response and our family now has 288 pots of jam left so PLEASE, no more. Tomorrow night my chat will be about my bra choice. Good night."

The next evening the ads after the news and before the weather including two from suppliers of raspberry jam and a supermarket announcing it stocked eight brands of raspberry jam.

Britt read the weather dressed in a short white leather skirt and a pink bra.

"Tonight my question is about bras. Girls do you think I should pack them in one bra size too small or should I be prissy and wear a band to flatten my look? I'm confused. I could ask mom but she's too busy sorting out raspberry jam recipes. Tomorrow night's question concerns shaving."

The Banrock Daily News next morning ran a page 3 photo of Mandy Wade with glasses on reading recipes with 287 (one more had been consumed) jars of jam and below that was a photo of Britt, very posed, scratching her head and holding out several types of bras; she was wearing a coconut bra.

'Britt (27) Wins Hearts of ZEE-TV Viewers' screamed the headline. It background the arrival of Britt and the illustrious career of her mom Mandy.

That evening Britt came on to read the weather wearing the coconut bra and later said, "We received hundreds of responses about the most suitable bra for me. Here is Mrs Michaels from Michael Lingerie to fit me in the bra voted by the majority of you to be best for me and Mrs Michaels agrees. Britt turned her back on to the cameras, undid her coconut bra and slipped into the bra Mrs Michaels held out.

"Mrs Michaels, please explain this preference."

"You are rather heavily breasted Britt and the under-wire bra gives you that extra support which research has shown means a less tiring day."

Thank you Mrs Michaels. So there we have it. Britt dropped her skirt and to reveal bikini panties.

"Although I'm blonde and lightly haired you can see by this camera close-up I do show a bit of escaping fuzz. So what do I do... light trim or a full shave? Or perhaps a Brazilian? I welcome opinions."

Slim Wade turned off the TV and wiping sweat off his brow said, "Oh god, tomorrow night she'll show her pussy."

"Darling, give your daughter some credit. She knows not to overstep the mark."

"Thanks for that reassurance. How's your pussy darling?"

"Oooh."

The next evening research data would later show ZEE-TV had its biggest viewing audience ever and the third-highest peak viewing stat in the city's television history. Britt presented the weather wearing a white bikini and completing that task asked for "a close up soft focus on my crotch."

"I followed the majority of more than 3000 responses, mostly emails, that indicate to me younger women were in on this. I was advised to shave only on the outer bikini line and to trim any other hair that might be lurking down there. I am so grateful for that. I dreamt last night of screaming awake to find I was receiving a Brazilian. Well I've shaved to my bikini line and now would feel comfortable walking along Main Street like this. And now for my next challenge. As you know I have just returned home to America so haven't lined up a date yet. I invite guys around my age who'd like to date me to send in their photo overnight and include their telephone number. We will use this data for promotional purposes so you must be presentable and personable with a penchant for being kind to young ladies. I'll make the choice. Thank you."

Switching off the TV Mandy sat on Slim's knee and said he could uncover his eyes; his daughter hadn't displayed her cropped vulva.

After reading the weather next evening Britt turned to look off-camera and called, "Come to me Mark."

"Hi everyone, Britt said, taking a red-head guy with freckles by the hand. "This is Mark Harris who is fifteen. Of the 177 photos received after deleting fathers and grandfathers wanting to date me, I picked out Mark here as my date for tonight. He looked the cleanest and freshest guy from the photos supplied, and I must say some of the photos received I could be termed 'depraved'. Mark's parents are here in the studio and will accompany Mark and me on this date. Good night everyone."

Slim turned off the TV and complained, "What's wrong with our daughter – why pick an upstanding high school jerk when she could have dated a depraved man?"

"Darling, our daughter is a credit to us. Please come over here and deprave me," Mandy said, dropping her panties.

* * *

Early next morning Slim had urgent talks with his financial controller.

"Sorry Slim but it is my duty to inform you if we continue trading at this level of loss we will be in breach of Government Regulations and in all probability will go to jail. Here is my resignation."

Within the hour all personnel including daughter Britt had received their redundancy notices and the station had gone off air, broadcasting a loop announcing that due to adverse financial conditions ZEE-TV had closed permanently and its license was being returned to the FCC.

* * *

James J. Jamieson, president of Jamieson Advertising Agency that had come out of nowhere in the pack to become the most successful ad agency in the city by the time of the death of its founder Bill Jamieson, eyed ZEE-TV's streaming closure announcement.

"It's a sad day for our city that ZEE has finally called it a day. Fortunately Slim has two motels and two good-performing pre-owned car yards generating good income for that duo. Now you guys, what does this mean for us?"

"A reduction in TV advertising outlets for our clients?" said the director of marketing.

"True Miriam but few of our clients wanted to be placed with ZEE."

The business manager said the company should buy the studio, convert it into open plan offices and on-sell it.

"Excellent Cliff. Make the purchase at 15% below appraisal and do that but only if you are confident of returning a 50% profit within 12-months."

"We go after the girl."

"Who said that?" James barked.

"Your son Harry," his PA said.

"Harry is in here at our executive meeting as an observer and instructed not to speak."

"I'm not responsible for keeping a muzzle on your son," Mrs Collins the PA snorted.

"Yes Harry, that was the answer I was seeking from this brainless lot in front of me. Go recruit her at under maximum terms and conditions that Nancy here will set for you."

In the HR manager's office Nancy said, "You poor boy. Why do you allow your father speak about you like that in front of us?"

"My grandfather did that to him, according to my mother, so she counseled me to sit and accept it, that it would cease as I rose my head above the mass."

"God, she's in on this with your father."

"No Nancy, she understands. She was my grandfather's mistress."

"Harry you can't say things to me like that."

"Just keep your mouth shut and it will be okay," grinned the twenty-seven year old business college graduate.

* * *

Mandy answered the doorbell and involuntarily placed a hand between her breasts and croaked, "God, evangelists are becoming younger and more handsome these days or are you a meter-reader?"

"As desirable as those vocations are Mrs Wade I'm here to see your daughter. My name is Harry Jamieson."

"James and Debra's son?"

"Yes."

"Oh please come in."

Harry followed in the curvy ass covered in a silk gown and said, "You have retained a great figure Mrs Wade. I know my mom was at school and then college with you and her ass is blubbery."

"Why thank you Harry. You are so discerning. It's so uplifting."

"I wouldn't have thought the word uplifting was in your vocabulary ma'am."

"Why Harry, you undiscerning flirt."

"That is so true Mrs Wade."

Drawing on a rarely used blush these days, Mandy practically giggled as she said she would fetch Brittany.

Britt was in the bath, attempting to erase her hangover from the 'wake' party ZEE fired staff had held the previous afternoon and into the night.

"What does he want?"

"He didn't say dear."

"Well send him in."

"Not until I put more bubble mix into this water. God you are so irreverent."

"If he's under thirty he will have seen all I've got by the truckload."

"He's under thirty dear, handsome and well mannered and knows how to talk to women."

Britt snorted. "Act your age mother. More than half the women of your age only have sex on vacation."

Following Mandy into the bathroom Harry was still protesting he'd wait till Britt had finished her bath and was dressed when Britt said lightly, "Shut up Harry; off you go mom."

"This is highly irregular."

"God Harry, you were a prissy in your class ahead of me at High School. I would have thought the girls at business college would have knocked some maverick into you."

"Hi Britt. I'm attempting to make a good impression."

"You're failing."

Harry's mind flipped on him and regrouped sending a signal pattern to his voice box.

"Are you still a slut?"

Harry couldn't believe he'd just said that. He opened his mouth to apologize, knowing it would be a lost cause, but Britt's peel of laughter left him speechless.

"God Harry, it must have taken all the courage you possess to say that. Good boy. Sit on the toilet but don't use it."

That shocked him. "I'd rather stand."

"Sit otherwise I'm leaving the bathroom."

Harry sat.

"It's lovely seeing you again Britt. Would you please allow me to take you to dinner this evening and to make no response to other job offers until you have considered mine?"

"Yes and yes Harry. Now tell me what you've been up to since I last saw you almost five years ago with that flat-chest Jennings girl?"

Harry gawked. "You remember that night?"

"Yes, it was my farewell party as I left for Europe next day. While away I'd often thought of you filling my... well, let's not go into that."

They chatted until Britt said she better get out before the water broke down her skin cells.

"I'll collect you at 7:30."

"Only if I'm ready by then Harry. You should know not to try to hassle firm-minded women which means most of us."

"Yes, oh yes."

"Thank you Harry but I would have preferred you to tell me to get fucked and be ready on time. Most women including me prefer a decisive and firm man. Or are you just hard Harry?"

"Hard?" Harry said goodbye and fled.

That night Harry recruited Britt. She openly confessed she hadn't received any job offers and wasn't expecting any. She thought she might have to turn to prostitution.

Aghast Harry offered Britt the deal at maximum levels and she accepted and then smiled and told him she didn't fuck on a first date. He could kiss her but it better be good.

From his apartment Harry called his father who was receiving fellatio so was able to talk.

"That's great news but why are you free of her so early, doesn't she fuck?

"Not on first dates dad?"

"Christ, another woman on staff with morals."

CHAPTER 2

Nancy in HR decided to introduce the latest recruit to staff herself, sensing Britt was 'a chosen one'. The boss occasionally had a hunch and hired what appeared to be a totally unsuitable woman and more often than not the hunch came off. Nancy had this confirmed when Britt appeared in a jeans suit, loose shirt, untidy hair and the only makeup was lipstick. The boss would be beside himself in disappointment at not being able to view tit and exposed legs and would concede his instinct was correct, that this babe would deliver the most unexpected results, being beautiful, imaginative (as they'd confirmed seeing reviews of TV weather reporting tapes) and, above all, being unpredictable, like with her appearance today.

Nancy heeded the call to enter the office and said, Mr Jamieson, may I introduce our latest acquisition in Creative, Miss Brittany Wade.

"Hi boss, call me Britt."

James didn't answer, appeared shocked at Britt's almost disheveled appearance. He stared at Britt but the disappointment began to slowly dissolve and looking back Nancy found out why. Straight-faced, Britt slowly lifted her jeans skirt until just below her panties.

James beamed. "Welcome to the team Britt. I'm regarding you as a killer of an appointment so don't disappoint me."

"I won't James."

Only executives were permitted to call Mr Jamieson James. Nancy tensed but no explosive reprimand came.

"Good, good. You have a degree in media broadcasting communications so will be aware of restraints. You have my permission to push to the wire and we'll vigorously defend any complaint and subsequent action. But if you loose you're fired. Do you understand?"

"Yes James. No sweat."

"Good, good. Off you go and good luck. Harry is bound to date you regularly so I expect to see more of you, a lot more of you when beside the pool at home."

"I'd like that boss. Bye."

Gloria Roebuck, creative director, looked at Britt jealously. "I cannot believe I am to place you in charge of a film crew and allow you to take the assignment without any direction from me and you have free hand to commission any of our resources."

"It's called spontaneous interaction between film-maker and viewer Gloria."

"I know what that trend is; but everyone else performs it under direction."

"Aren't you lucky. You have a president who is aware that spontaneity is not spontaneity under direction."

"Well you fuck up and you're out of here. And I'm Mrs Roebuck to you."

"That's too difficult to remember. Gloria seems friendlier don't you think?"

"Go to that empty desk over there where I can keep an eye on you."

"Thank you Gloria. If I require your professional assistance I shall ask for it. I hear you are highly rated in the industry."

* * *

That evening Harry Jamieson kissed and fingered Britt to a high state of excitement but he failed to enter her. She kept her legs crossed and when he attempted to part them she told him he was bruising her.

Harry whined, "I'm off tomorrow on a week's vacation with my girl friend Veronica. I have told her about you and she accepts she is losing me but has insisted I go with her on this prearranged vacation. I hope you understand?"

"Sure, and I think you have done the honorable thing for both of us by sticking to your plan and not seducing me - yet."

Harry said provocatively, "She might use the week to win me back."

"Then you'll be the loser. I guess that's why you didn't fuck me tonight?"

"Well I didn't push to win you over. Um, she's entitled to have the only pussy I'm filling."

"Good boy. Use condoms and a spermicidal. This could be a trap by her. Get it?"

"No?"

* * *

The public affairs manager at Bartholomew Bank spoke on behalf of the two vice-presidents. "We here at Bartholomew are..."

Britt interjected. "I suppose there's no excitement internally about changing the bank's name?"

"What, after 187 years of service to this community and environs? Are you crazy? As I was saying, we here at Bartholomew are disturbed that we are losing traction. We were once the city's leading bank and the latest stats show we have slipped further to third. Your agency has been hired to restore us to our rightful position."

"I can get you there, but to stay there you'll have to lift your game. Your premises are drab and your personnel appear under-trained and lacking incentive. I've always banked Bartho so know what I'm talking about."

"Bartho?" one of the vice-presidents said indignantly.

"Yes," Britt said in surprise. "Oh god, you don't know what your customer call you? That means you don't do customer sampling?"

"Well we do some consumer research."

"But not much?"

"Well no."

"What percentage of budget is devoted to customer research?"

The vice-president in charge of administration ran a finger inside his collar. "It's done when someone at a board meeting says it's about time we revisited."

"Oh Christ. You're locked into the 1880s aren't you?"

"Now look here young woman..."

"Sir, talk to me like that again and I'm out of here."

Sybil the public affairs manager said, "Cyril, I think we should listen to Miss Wade."

"Call me Britt please; we are in this together," said Britt and everyone one looked at her hopefully.

At last Britt, working from a customer list, found the face she was looking for: an old guy, wrinkled, with most of his teeth missing.

"Hi Mr Brown. I'm working on behalf of your bank. I came to this farm on a school visit when I was a very young girl. What are you doing?"

"Attempting to clear this drain. It's blocked. Can't quite get me hand to grasp the object."

Britt said, "Here, let me help."

"It's pig shit."

"Well I hear pigs are cleaner than humans."

Britt's smaller hand went into the pipe and she pulled out a piece of plastic and the banked up excrement flowed out, Britt managing to pull her hand clear of the flow.

"Well, never in my days of farming have I seen anything like that... a banking lady willing to clear shit. Come in and wash up and Gladys will serve cookies and coffee."

* * *

The bank board watched in disbelief as the near toothless guy called Farmer Brown on the ad said, "You know I've been on this pig farm since I was born in 1930, later taking over from my dad. Bartho Bank had pulled me out of the crap several times but they reached new heights in service when the other day this representative of theirs (the camera shot showed a young bank officer pulling off a long surgical glove dripping in wet crap) used her smaller hand to clear this blocked excrement for me. Bartho Bank goes that extra hog for you, don't it? Heh-heh-heh." A voiceover stated, 'Bartholomew Bank is the oldest surviving bank in town because it's First in Service. Bank with Bartho'."