Brother Love Ch. 03

I smiled and asked gently "How long did it take to figure it out?"

Harvey grinned.

"We're still working on it. We didn't have computers back then, and there wasn't a lot of information out there. I can still remember what a big deal it was when the book 'The Joy Of Sex' came out, and the Kinsey report. Caused quite a stir."

Mary chimed in.

"Things were a lot more conservative back then. Oral sex, for instance, was never accepted the way it is now. And anal? You were a pervert for even thinking about it."

"Then the sixties came. Burn the bra. Birth control. Sex became a lot easier when you didn't have to worry about pregnancy."

"Please excuse me asking, but did you ever think about straying?" I felt bad asking, even if it was a legitimate question.

They held hands, and answered jointly.

"I'm proud to say we never strayed. Did we think about it? Were we tempted? Damn right we were, but we never did. It was just wrong, there was too much to lose."

"Do you think that's the attitude now?" asked Shannon. Mary snorted.

"Lord no. It's just too easy now. Over fifty per cent of marriages fail nationwide. It's just too easy to get out of it. No fault divorces? Bull----"

I was suddenly glad of the delay. How many people want to hear grandma say bullshit? Harvey jumped back in.

"My wife is right. It's always someone's fault, even if adultery isn't involved. Marriage is a lifetime commitment, and it comes with rules. If you don't want to follow them, why get married? It makes no sense."

Mary picked back up when he ran out of breath.

"Sex is a big part of marriage, at least for us. We had three kids, and we practiced a lot to get them. For us, sex is an expression of our love. And despite our age, with a little medical help, we still express it to each other."

Instead of being embarrassed, Harvey grinned broadly.

Mike joined our discussion for the first time.

"But doesn't it get stale after a while?"

Mary smiled.

"Son, do you like fried chicken?"

He nodded yes.

"Even if you loved it, if you had to eat it every day for the rest of your life it would get old fast, wouldn't it?"

"Yes."

"Well, just because fried chicken gets old, it doesn't mean you switch to steak. You just cook the chicken a different way. You grill it, make soup, fix it with pasta, make salad. You add spices, new flavors. It's still chicken, but now you have variety. Do you understand what I'm trying to say? Sex only gets old if you let it. Be adventurous, try new things. They might not all suit you, but there will be enough to keep boredom away."

Mike nodded, deep in thought.

It was his turn to speak.

"I see what you're saying. It's work. Not the sex, but keeping it exciting. I'm a normal guy. College, dorms, parties, hanging out. I hook up once in a while, just for physical relief. I don't lead my partners on, or promise anything I can't deliver. I've found they respect me more for it. Sooner or later there will come a time when I want more. When it does, I'll look back on this discussion and try a little harder."

"And you're right, it is a different time. Women have a lot more leeway, and nobody much comments on their sex life, unless it's out of control. Most of us still respect them, after all, they're doing the same thing we are. For every move I've made on a woman, I've had one made on me. Maybe a little more."

I stopped the conversation, having the band do another song. They did the David Thompson version of Oops I Did It Again, the Britney Spears song. They had brought a percussionist along. He played congas, and a set of bongos he had mounted, a high hat cymbal with a tambourine on top, and a little six inch cymbal beside the congas. He made a lot of noise with such a small amount of equipment.

I had thought about commercial talk shows, how they would have a musical guest who would play and disappear. I shocked them when it was over by inviting them over to the couch. They had to bring their chairs. It caught them by surprise.

I introduced them individually.

"If you want to add something, feel free to speak up."

Sarah was looking at me like she wanted to kill me, and I grinned at her.

Shannon was the only one left who hadn't spoken, so I gave her the opportunity.

"Shannon, want to share why you wanted to be out here tonight?"

She looked very nervous but spoke up.

"I'm a virgin. An eighteen year old virgin, in an inner city neighborhood where the teen pregnancy rate is the highest in the state. I have a scholarship to the community college, and hoping I can get another to finish out my degree."

"I've wanted to have sex, even seen it happen in front of me at parties, but I just couldn't make the plunge."

"I've got a boyfriend now who is a little older. To his credit, he hasn't pushed it very hard, but I know he could walk down the street and find three women willing to fu...er, screw him in the first five minutes."

"Any advice?"

Sister Angela went first.

"As a nun, I need to tell you to refrain from intercourse until you're married. As a woman with a daughter, I want you to do what's right for you. If you're uncomfortable with the thought, don't do it."

Mary added her thoughts.

"She's right, honey. In my generation, your virginity was the greatest gift you could give a man. If you're the least bit uncertain, don't do it."

Both the girls in the band chimed in. Anne, the blond, went first.

"Your first time should be special, with someone you love. Ask yourself, are you doing it for love, or security? Do you want to keep him that badly? Are you sure he'll stay if you do? Think with your mind as well as your heart."

Heather, the brunette, agreed.

"Has he hinted he'll leave if you don't put out? If he has, you need to seriously think about dumping this guy. You have to live with yourself no matter what you do. Just think about it."

The drummer just shrugged. I stepped in.

"Ultimately Shannon, the choice is yours. If it's what you truly want, if you trust him enough, then you've already made your decision. But I'm getting the vibe you're really on the fence. Be sure, Shannon. That's all the advice I have."

Mary grinned and asked me if I was in love my first time.

"In love? I wasn't even on this continent. I'm pretty sure she wasn't a virgin, and I'm pretty sure she planned the whole thing. She was the aggressor, I had no idea what I was doing. She gave me a pretty good first lesson, though."

I heard Sarah telling me we had five minutes, time to wrap it up. I looked into the camera.

"That's about it for tonight, folks. I don't know what you were expecting, but this is what you got. I want to thank everyone. Harvey, Mary, Sister Angela, Mike, Shannon, and Joe, I appreciate you're insights."

"Remember, these are actual people, who volunteered their time. No one got paid. I know some of you out there will recognize them, be kind when you speak to them. It took guts for them to come out here and share such an intimate part of their lives."

Before we go, I want each of you to give me an honest answer. How important is sex in a relationship? Can it be sustained without it?

Mary:

"It's very important. Of course, frequency tapers off as you get older, but It's still the most intimate way to tell your partner you love them."

Harvey:

"I agree. We've had friends, people we were really fond of, part over sex. In my opinion, menopause has broken up as many marriages as infidelity. More don't break up but limp along as a shadow of what they had. Ladies, don't get me wrong, I understand. But look at it this way. Men don't go though the deep biological changes that women do, and frankly, many don't understand. All they see is that something you both enjoyed, something they considered very pleasurable and the most intimate expression of love they could share, denied them, because it just don't matter anymore to their partners."

"I know this sounds sexist and uncaring, but if people out there going through it can tell you, it's still true."

"Also, don't take this to mean you should do your 'wifely duties' without complaint, but be sympathetic to your partner. There are medications, and therapy. Don't let it ruin your life if you can prevent it."

I couldn't help but ask.

"Are you speaking from experience?"

"Yes, it was particularly rough on Mary. Even today she still has an occasional hot flash. But she loved me enough to recognize my wants and needs. We did indeed go to therapy for awhile, to make me really understand what she was going though, and she did take some hormone replacement drugs. It helped tremendously."

Mary nodded her agreement, holding his hand tightly.

Joe:

"Because of my addition, I consider it very important. Could I ever be in a celibate relationship? Not unless it was medically necessary. Even then I would seek out drugs to help me."

Sister Angela:

"Of course, I have a relationship now much more important to me than sex, but I remember, and sexual compatibility goes a long way in maintaining a relationship, especially when you're under, say, fifty. The urge to mate and procreate is built into us, It's hard to curb those biological urges. You just have to learn to temper them, to help make a relationship last."

Shannon:

"I agree. If you're not sexually compatible, at our age it will be almost impossible to stay together. I'm at the age when I'm the most sexually attractive to men, and it's going to be, heck it already is, hard to fend them off. I like the idea of a Mr. Right out there somewhere. Maybe it's the romantic in me. I know for certain all the information you guys have given me will be food for though for a long time to come.

Mike:

"Yeah, like she said. At our age, it's very important. Will it lessen as I get older? Yes, physically at least. But mentally? I read somewhere that an interviewer once told Marilyn Monroe attracted the adulation of thirteen year old boys. She agreed, but then added that all men were thirteen year old boys where she was concerned. So while we age physically, it's hard to age our mindset."

I paused for a second, letting the information soak in. Then I thanked them all for their insights. Sarah was twirling her finger frantically, time to go.

"Well, we started with a prayer, so let's end with a song. Heather, Anne, thank you. And thank you Gary, for helping them out with percussion. Dirty Blond. Remember the name. And check our website for their link. New fans are always welcome."

"If I have any words of wisdom tonight, it would be to follow your heart. It's usually just your head telling you what's right in a softer way."

"Goodnight, all."

I grinned when I heard the song. Brand New Roller Skates, an old, old song by a singer named Melanie. It was a song about her first sexual encounter.

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That night, I dreamed about Deb, for the first time in a long time. We were at the beach, on one of our vacations. We were lying on a blanket in the sand. She was naked, that perfect body a glistening bronze sculpture against a backdrop of sugar white sand, and we were making slow, languid love. I could feel the weight of her breasts in my hands, smell her tanning oil and arousal, as we coupled. Before we were done, she started dissolving, even as I tried to hold on to her.

I woke in a panic, gasping for breath. It took me fifteen minutes to calm down. I knew I wouldn't sleep anymore for awhile, so I got a glass of ice water, and sat on the back patio, looking at the stars, and thinking about sex with Deb.

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We viewed the tape later that week. I was surprised how good it was. Oh, it was a bit rough in spots, and I needed to learn how to regulate the pace, but overall it wasn't too bad.

Josh and Amber had put up a poll on our website. Should Shannon have sex with her boyfriend? No was outrunning yes by a four to one margin. It was higher for women, lower for men. I intended to talk about the numbers on the next show.

I had to add a new member to the crew. Sarah insisted. She said we could get away without a sound man if we were just talking, but musicians were a whole different ball game. I left it to her, and she hired a sound technician. Another woman from college, in her field of study. We welcomed Joyce to the crew during the next broadcast.

Josh and Amber started an archive that people could access to watch shows past shows, and somehow it ended up on youtube. It was becoming a cult favorite at the college.

Suggestions for shows were coming in at a surprising rate. Some were pretty far out, some well reasoned and thoughtful.

A vast number wanted the next show to be about relationships, since we had already covered sex.

We did a blurt.

"All right, the people have spoken. I won't always follow the suggestions, but I wanted to do a show on this anyway, so the next one will be about relationships. Love. Marriage. Any variation on the theme we can think of. I want to hear from people willing to talk about alternative, non mainstream lifestyles. Same sex couples, polygamists, that sort of thing. Be sure if you volunteer you're absolutely sure, because you will be on television, and once it hits the airwaves you can't ever take it back."

"Because of the time it takes to to get a show together with the limited amount of resources I have, it will be two weeks before the show airs."

"If you want to be on, hit the website, give your reasons. If we think you'll fit we will contact you for a followup. Until then."

I talked to Sarah and Julie.

"I need your help. Are both of you out of the closet?"

Sarah was, but Julie wasn't. Well she was at school, but her parents and people back home had no clue. She had even had a boyfriend for awhile, until she made her decision. Sarah wasn't her first girlfriend, but she was her first love.

"I don't think I can do it" Julie said. "Television is not how my friends and family need

to find out about my sexual preference."

I understood. I remember the day I found out Aunt Elsa was bisexual.

.................................................

She was going into the last days of her life. Lung cancer. She had smoked since she was twelve. Her husband made her quit as a condition of marriage, so she hadn't smoked in over twenty five years. I don't know, and the doctor couldn't say if that's what caused it. He did say quitting had helped, but her lungs were still showing the effects.

I had her at her home. She said it was where she wanted to die, and I honored her wish.

The knock on the door didn't surprise me. She had a broad circle of friends, and a lot of them called. Most saying goodbye I suspected.

The woman couldn't have been over five feet tall. She wasn't obese, but she was pretty plump. Her silver hair was loose, and flowed down her back almost to her ass.

"Does Elsa Love live here?" she said in an abrupt voice.

"Yes."

I didn't move. Something about her irritated me.

She seemed surprised I didn't move aside. She softened her tone.

"May I please see her? I'm an old friend, and I've traveled a long way to be here. Please."

Suddenly tears were streaming down her face, and she looked like she was about to collapse.

I ushered her in, got her a glass of wine to settle her, and went up to see if Elsa was up to visitors.

She was sitting up, reading a magazine.

"Aunt Elsa, there's a lady her to see you. Says she's an old friend."

She frowned. Visits tend to tire her out.

"What's her name?"

"I don't know. She just said Sunflower was here to see Petunia."

I found out later that was their pet name for each other.

She looked like she was about to faint.

"Sun...Sunflower? It can't be. Bring her up, please honey. I have to know."

I'll never forget the emotion in the room when she came in. They just stared at each other for about thirty seconds, until Elsa held her hands out, almost in supplication.

Soon they were on the bed together, clinging to each other and crying like babies. I gently shut the door, giving them the privacy they needed.

She moved into our house and her bed. She was holding Elsa when she passed, three months later.

...............................................

Julie, Sarah, and Amber were trying to get me to polish my appearance. They especially wanted me to cut my hair. I had been letting it grow since before Elsa died, at her request. It was down just pass my shoulders.

"You've always had such beautiful hair. I never told you, but when you cut after college to fit in and get a job. It was just like you to donate your hair to Locks Of Love. You don't have to fit in right now, let it grow. Please. The last request of a foolish old woman."

After she passed I just couldn't make myself cut it.

"You're a fairly good looking guy. It would boost your viewership."

Julie shoved all kinds of demographics at me.

I didn't think I was handsome. I was six feet tall, weighed about one eighty five. I worked out at least three days a week, so I was pretty toned.

Blue eyes, straight nose. I had a drooping mustache. I probably did look like something out of the sixties.

"Julie, have you not been paying attention? Don't lose focus, I'm doing this for me, financing it myself, so what I look like won't affect that."

I softened my tone a little.

"This won't make sense to you, but this is a type of mourning for me."

She didn't understand, and she made one more attempt.

"So, when you stop mourning, you'll cut your hair?"

I sighed.

"Yes, Julie. When I stop mourning, I'll cut my hair."

In my mind, I added.

"Don't hold your breath,"

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Hope you like it so far. Next week, love, marriage, and relationships. Thanks for reading. As always, votes appreciated, comments expected.

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