Brother Love Ch. 04

"Thank you, she said. Then she begged me to take her. I didn't even undo the restraints, just pulled her up and took her from behind, and I wasn't gentle. I'm sure it was just a matter of minutes before it was over, but it was intense beyond belief for both of us. I collapsed on her and she didn't complain. When I roused enough I let her loose. I woke up during the night to find her asleep on my chest, for the first time in years."

"Our relationship changed immediately, evolving into what it is now. I'll let my wife take it from here."

She spoke with a calm, measured voice. You couldn't see it, but you could feel her smile.

"It was simple, when you get down to it. I have a submissive personality, something it took years to discover. I didn't like making decisions. J...my husband loved me dearly but didn't see it, so he let me get away with a lot. Then I was promoted at work, so now I was telling people what to do. I'm afraid I was a terrible boss the first year or so. I let my subordinates walk all over me."

"Then our child left for college. I felt like I was a drifting boat, waiting for someone to take the rudder. I couldn't articulate my needs because I didn't really recognize them, so I'm ashamed that in my confusion and misery I took it all out on my man. I was an absolute bitch for a long time, I really didn't know why he didn't leave me."

"We spent a little time in counseling after we changed, and I understood that I was trying to reach him, to make him take charge."

"The day it all changed, that morning in the car, it was like a light bulb went on, and I could finally see. When he said the words 'I'm taking you back', a thrill went through me that I can't explain. His firm, forceful manner during the whole day made me desperate to try and please him."

"Do I like being a submissive? I love it! I don't have a care in the world, don't have to make decisions, all I have to do is obey. I know it's a burden to my husband at times, but he relishes the responsibility."

I, as well as my guests, were enthralled. I asked her if she could give us some examples of her new life, without being to specific.

"I have nothing to hide" she laughed, "I'll answer anything within reason, unless my husband disapproves."

"Did it improve your sex life?" blurted Claire, blushing when she realized what she said.

"Before we changed, we didn't really have a love life. Now, we make love as often as he wants, and I'm proud to say that's fairly often. We do a lot of things we never did before, and I've enjoyed them immensely. It's not a one way street, I want him a lot, now, too."

"I was pretty stingy with sex, before. For instance, if he woke me in the middle of the night wanting oral, I would have stormed out of the bedroom and slept in the guestroom for a few days. Now, when I wake with his hand on the back of my head pushing me down, I smile."

Almost everyone had a reflective look on their faces.

"Does he beat you?" asked Natalie, voicing what many of us wondered. The husband answered.

"No! It's my responsibility to keep her safe and in good health. There is a little corporal punishment, spankings and such. Sometimes I bind her, or do something more creative to reinforce a point. She accepts and even expects it, if she fails me in something. We're not about pain, or the whole BDSM thing. It's about guiding her through life in a way to insure her happiness."

"So, does he let you wear white panties to work?"

asked Claire, as everyone laughed.

The woman answered, once again with humor.

"Yes. It's part of my uniform. But, I have standing orders to take them off as soon as I get home. He gets home before I do, and he lays out what he wants me to change into on our bed. Sometimes it's a sexy gown. Sometimes it's just a pair of panties. Sometimes it's nothing, and I spend the rest of the night naked."

"Does that bother you, being completely dependent on him? Doesn't it isolate you from the rest of the world?" asked one of the lesbians.

"Not at all. We still do things apart from each other. He likes to fish, and I still go out with my friends twice a month to let off a little steam. But if he has a reason to keep me at home, I stay without question. And I have a curfew that I'm smart enough not to violate."

"Overall, my life is much better than before. I'm happy. I'm a better human being, even a better boss. When one of my employees gets out of hand I imagine what my husband would do if it was me and act accordingly."

"You mean you spank them?" giggled Cat.

"I wish. No, but there are company protocols I'm a lot stricter on than before. Once they saw I wasn't a pushover anymore, I've had very few problems."

.................................................

"All right, time for the last couple. For our purposes, we'll call them Bob and Alice. They've been married for fourteen years, and have been self described 'swingers' for the last three. They regularly have sex with other people, and say it makes their marriage stronger. Welcome."

Alice was heavily made up, with an obvious wig and large sunglasses. Bob had a fake beard, a hat, and sunglasses. They both nodded their hellos.

"I'm going to ask what everybody is thinking right off the bat. How does it work, exactly? How did you get started, how long do you plan on continuing, are you truly happy with this lifestyle, and whose idea was it originally?"

Alice answered.

"It works because we make it work. There are strict rules, violate just one and the marriage is over. No individual dates. No going to the parties we attend without the other. When one says it's time to leave, we leave. A few other things, but those are the biggies. And it was my idea."

"Our marriage was failing. We loved each other, but the fire had died out. After eleven years, sex was just sort of automatic and boring. Oh, we satisfied each other physically, but something was missing. We both felt it. We were in a rut so deep we couldn't see out."

"I was having a girl's night out, and as always, sex came up. I had just enough wine to let my feelings out. One friend suggested role playing, another said I should have an affair. It seems she had had a stream of lovers, said it kept her marriage fresh. Her husband didn't agree when he found out a month later, and divorced her. I could never cheat on my husband anyway. Another friend, someone I had known for years offered nothing, but called me the next day and wanted to know if she could come by, saying she might have a solution to my problem."

"I was surprised she had her husband with her."

"Honey", she said, "how long have you known us? Seven years, right. What I'm about to tell you must never be repeated except to your husband, I need your solemn promise."

"Curious as to where this was going, I agreed."

"She drew a deep breath."

"Do you think we're decent people? Ever heard anyone say anything bad about us?"

"I shook my head no."

"My husband and I associate with another little group outside the neighborhood. We've known each other for years, and get together once a month to indulge in mutual pursuits. To put it bluntly, we swing. By swing I mean we have sex with other partners. Are you shocked? I think you are, judging by the look on your face."

"I know my mouth was hanging open. MY God, she was president of the PTO, and he was in a very public job."

"The only thing I could think to say was why. Her husband took over."

"Because we were where you guys are now. We all talk you know. You're considered dull as wallpaper. You guys have no spark. If you stay on this path, your marriage won't end with a bang, it'll end with a whimper, whether you stay together or not. You don't have to choose what we're about to offer you, but for the sake of your marriage do something. We like you both, a lot, or we wouldn't reveal ourselves. Regardless of what happens, we feel sure you'll keep this to yourselves."

"As to why, he continued, it was because we needed it, and had a friend sharp enough to spot it. We met with his group at a nonswinging party, and they answered as many questions as we could think of, and gave their phone numbers if we thought of more. We thought about it, and attended on of their other parties, just to watch. We didn't participate then, but it made us so hot we practically raped each other when we got home. We hadn't had that kind of passion in years. It took us two months to finally do it, and I have to tell you, it was almost surreal in its' weirdness. We didn't do anything in front of each other, we just weren't ready, but I had two different women and she had three different men, and we were still so charged up we made love until the sun came up."

"How often do you swap?" asked one of the lesbians.

"On average, once a month. Sometimes more often, if there's a holiday. Sometimes we don't attend a party for months, depending on out schedules."

"Aren't you afraid you'll develop feelings for one of your partners? What would happen then?"

"We're a pretty tight group, only six couples, and we do have feelings for them. We trust them with our most intimate moments, but we all know there will be no 'I'm in love with you, let's run off together' situations."

Bob had fielded this question, but something in her posture made me repeat the question to Alice.

"This true, Alice? No one slips away for a little private time once in awhile? What happens if something like that is discovered?"

"It's happened twice, once before we joined and once since. When the group finds out, usually both couples are expelled. That's why we're so careful when we offer to let new couples in. Actions like that could destroy us all if it came to divorce or lawsuits."

She paused.

"And yes, it's hard not to develop feelings for people who share the most intimate of actions. You have to learn to remember what's important, and reaffirm your commitment to your partner often."

Cat, always vocal it seems, asked the next question.

"Do you see yourselves continuing this lifestyle indefinitely?"

Bob answered for both.

"We really enjoy the lifestyle, but I don't see it going on into our golden years. We've talked about it, a lot. Right now it's fun, and it's brought us closer than ever before, but I think we both agree that sometime in the future we'll simply outgrow it, like a sport, I guess. We'll look back on it in fondness I hope, the same as we would skiing or scuba diving. It was fun, but we just simply outgrew it."

There were a few more questions about possible STDs, what would happen if it became public knowledge, that sort of thing.

..................................................

It was time to wrap it up. We had been at it for over two hours, I wasn't sure how it was going to look edited.

I thanked all the guests for being brave enough to come, thanked Dirty Blond and friends, thanked the crew, then gave my parting comments.

"Thanks for watching. I hope you learned something tonight, gave you food for thought. We had some more people that wanted to be on tonight, but for various reasons we didn't bring on. One was from someone claiming to be from the Man/boy Love Association. When he explained what that was I freaked and called the cops. Anyone who would harm a child sexually or otherwise is the lowest of the low."

"I did hear from a couple who were brother and sister living as man and wife. I was too uncomfortable with that to let them on the show, but I did post them on our site. Read them if you want but be aware, we do not endorse this type of lifestyle."

"There is also some comments from a couple who enjoy a 'cuckhold' lifestyle, the wife going out and sleeping with anyone she wants while the faithful husband remains at home."

"I guess when it comes to relationships, the man who said 'different strokes for different folks' was right. Every time you try to put relationships

in a box, you find people thinking outside it, or ignoring the box altogether. It all boils down to whatever makes you happy, I guess."

"Thanks for sharing your time with us, we do appreciate it. I guess someone is out there watching, and he took me to task for not commenting on the paintings behind my desk last show. Just for the record, one was by Georgia O'Keeffe, my favorite by her, Ladder To The Moon, and the other is by Thomas Cole, founder of the Hudson River style of painters, The Oxbow. Behind me right now is Winter In the Garden, by the folk artist Grandma Moses, and another O'Keeffe, Black Iris."

"Goodnight, hope to see you soon."

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As was becoming usual after taping a show, I had vivid dreams, with Deb as the centerpiece. We were like any young couple, we played sexual games, assumed roles for pleasures. I look back now and think she may have had her own submissive streak hidden under that superior demeanor. Maybe that was why she was attracted to me to start with, because I didn't toe a line with her.

It bothered her a lot at first, she was used to being the center of the universe, and I refused to orbit around her. We fought a lot, at first.

I think what concerned her most was that when she went into spoiled princess mode I would walk away from her, not see her for days sometimes.

Then she would call, all apologetic, and we would start again. Gradually she began to see the value of negotiation over demand. The honey over vinegar theory.

Then she figured out how to work that, and started trying to manipulate me. I was foolish enough to fall for it for awhile. But I eventually caught on and it led to some serious fights. In fact it broke us up for about two months.

As fights go, the last one we had was pretty spectacular. It was over marriage, oddly enough.

..............................................

We were seniors, due to graduate in a few months.

I had already landed a job as an engineer in a modular housing plant. I was the compliance engineer, reviewing the blueprints to make sure they met all the necessary codes for every state we sold our houses in. It was a good job for me, kept me abreast of all the latest changes and up to date requirements.

It was a pretty complex job, that I knew I would thrive on. I guess that was why I drew an above average salary for an entry position.

The drawback was I would have to move about a hundred miles away.

She literally threw a fit, demanding I not take the job so she could stay close to her parents.

I refused, and the argument grew more intense very quickly.

"Well, if you take the job, you can just forget about the marriage."

I caught her by surprise when I asked her what she was talking about.

"Our wedding. Mom and I have been planning it for weeks. We think August would be best."

I almost sent her into shock when I asked her if I had missed something because I didn't remember proposing.

"Silly man, you didn't have to ask. Everyone knows we're meant to be together forever. Just let me handle it, I'll take care of everything while you look for something in town."

"No."

She obviously didn't understand.

"No what, honey?"

"No I won't be looking for something here in town. I start the job I want two weeks after graduation. No you can't handle everything about the wedding because there isn't going to be a wedding. There's a reason I haven't asked. You're just not mature enough for marriage yet. I keep waiting for you to grow up, but it just isn't happening. I love you more than life, but I don't think I could live with you right now."

She stormed. She ranted. She cried. Then she screamed out she was done with me and ran back to her sorority house. I didn't chase her.

I was an instant jerk to all her friends and her mother. Her dad just grinned at me.

"I'm sorry, son. Some of this is my fault. We weren't supposed to be able to have kids. When she came along she was a genuine miracle. We were so happy we just couldn't say no to her. By the time I had figured out my mistake it was too late. Between the temper tantrums and cold shoulders for her and her mom, I just gave up and went along."

Don't get me wrong here. I truly loved her, and was miserable, but not enough to give in.

I talked to Aunt Elsa about it. She really liked Deb, but warned me about her early on.

"It all comes down to if you love her enough to realize if you commit now she'll think she can run the marriage without letting you in on any decision making process. Can you live with that for the rest of your life?"

Short answer? No.

................................................

She waited for me to call and apologize. Then she waited some more. I was miserable, but I knew if I bent now any future we had would be on her terms. After two weeks she sent her friends to straighten me out.

I was a creature of habit, so all they had to do is stake out the coffeehouse and lie in ambush, to make our meeting 'accidental'.

They sat down without asking. I smiled at them.

"Bree, Heather, good to see you. Can I buy you a coffee? How's school? Got jobs yet? Got any love interests you want to tell me about? I'd like to hear every intimate detail of your life since the day you were born. Seriously. But the first time you bring up Deb, I'm gone. Understand?"

Bree looked stunned, while Heather's mouth was opening and closing like a fish breathing. She finally recovered.

"But Barry" she whined,"You know she..."

"Gotta go. Great to see you. Tell everyone I said hi." I was up and out there so fast they didn't have time to react.

Finally, when she saw I wasn't going to come to her, she started chasing me. I found in the hall outside of my last class of the day, waiting.

"Honey, we need..."

I walked right past her, talking to my friends. She was so stunned she just stood there, and by the time she recovered I was gone.

She parked out front of my apartment. The first time I saw her and just drove by. I had dinner, went to a movie, had a couple of beers. She was gone when I got home, but there was a letter from her taped to my door. It was still there four days later.

Her mom made a serious mistake by appearing at my door and demanding I come to my senses. Deb had a sister, married to a man they ruled with an iron fist. Her mom made him give up a good job to stay close, right down to picking out the house. I figured he'd last another six months before he left, or became so submissive any independent thought would be banished from his head.

I cut her off pretty fast.

"Mrs. Swinson[she hated that, demanding I call her mom], you need to know something right off the bat. IF I marry Deb, it will because I ask. We'll live where we think best, and is most beneficial for us. I AM taking that job. IF I decide to propose, I'm going to make it pretty damn clear I'm marrying just her, not the family.

Be warned, the first time you try to run my life will be the last time I see you, and I'm going to be very clear about this to Deb. She needs to decide if she can live with that before we go any further. Now, I was right in the middle of something, but I appreciate you stopping by. Have a super fantastic day."

She never made it into my apartment. I left her standing in the hallway with her mouth hanging open, shut the door, and went back to trying to finish my nap.

She told Deb I was a self centered asshole and she was much better off without me. She cut her off in mid tirade.

"He told you off, didn't he? I told you he was too independent minded to fall into line, didn't I? Give up Mom, he's not Greg[her brother in law] and never will be."

...............................................

She finally caught me in the coffee shop. I was standing in line when I felt someone wrap their hands around my knees. I looked down to see Deb, on her knees.

"What the hell are you doing Deb? Get up, you're embarrassing yourself. And me, and everyone else."