Brown Eyes, Blue Smile Ch. 07

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She needed to take a break, and yet she didn't want to. Shanice had been working nearly non-stop since she arrived at the Deli, going back and forth, ferrying orders from the customers who were there and carrying back meal-laden plates from the kitchen counter. The morning hours had gone like a breeze and now it was past noon and she ought to have taken her break already yet she was still making herself busy. She was fighting hard to keep pressing thoughts away from her mind, everything or at least anything that had to do with Eric. Though she couldn't tell how long she would keep on like this—blocking his name and face from her thoughts—but if she could get through half the day like this, then she reckoned she would be A-okay. She'd left her phone's volume to run on vibration only. So far Eric hadn't called unlike yesterday. He probably was seeing the misery he'd gone and put her through, she said to herself. Serves him right.

Too late, her boss tapped her arm and told her to meet him out back. The look in his eyes told her she wasn't going to like whatever it was he wanted to lay out to her. She took a final order and then decided to take a minutes' break to hear what he had to say.

He was waiting for her outside. She tried not to act defensive as she approached him.

"What's up, boss?"

"You're what's up," he said to her. "Shanice, you've got something that's bothering you, and I don't like it."

"I ain't got nothing on my mind," was her feeble answer.

"The hell you don't. Look ... whatever it is that's bothering you, I don't know about it, except that I don't like it. I want you to take the rest of the day off, you hear me. Go home and try and get yourself back together and then bring yourself on back tomorrow morning if you're feeling better."

"Who's going to run my shift?"

"I already called Gina a couple of minutes ago. She'll be here in less than twenty."

The grim look in her boss's eyes told her this wasn't an argument she was apt to win. She sighed before replying:

"Alright, you're the boss. Could I at least finish serving until Gina gets her?"

He reluctantly allowed her to do that, figuring it was the least bit of work she could do until she left for home. Shanice went back into the Deli, via the kitchen, and was just in time to pick up the next order that was coming up.

It was an unlikely bit of coincidence that she had picked up the order meant for the one person she'd promised herself not to see or speak with again ... though how could she have known as she approached the table where Eric sat facing her, with a look of surprise and anxiousness on his face, the same too that was on hers. She noticed the little girl seated beside him; she too was staring at her. Shanice felt her heart beginning to trot as she drew to a stop before his table. This wasn't how she'd planned for the day to happen.

"Hi Shanice," said Eric. "You're looking good today."

Shanice dropped his order on his table, giving him a cool and distant look. "Nice seeing you, Eric." She turned to leave but Eric half stood from his table and grasped her arm. Shanice stared at him sharply, not wanting to make a scene. Eric too was thinking the same thing and quickly let go of her arm.

"Please, just give me a few seconds," he pleaded. "I know you probably don't want to talk to me anymore. But before that happens, I'd like to introduce you to a very special someone." He indicated to Gloria who stood up from her seat. "This is my daughter, Gloria." He turned to his daughter. "Gloria, honey, this is that special friend I told you about. Her name's Shanice."

"Please to meet you," said Gloria, sticking out her hand towards Shanice, who stood there for a moment, too dumbfounded with the picture that was unravelling before her eyes. She too reached out and shook her hand.

"Nice meeting you too, Gloria." Shanice switched her gaze back at Eric. There were a thousand questions dancing in her head right there and then.

Eric took one of the food plates to the table beside theirs and told Gloria to sit there and eat her meal while he and aunt Shanice have a moment to talk. Shanice planted herself on the seat across from his, glad that her boss had given her the rest of the day off.

"The woman whom you met at my apartment the other day," said Eric, indicating his thumb at Gloria. "She's her mother."

"She said you and her are married."

"We were married, but that was nearly five years ago. It ended not long after Gloria was born, and it's been that way ever since."

Shanice thought for a moment. "That wasn't what she told me," she said.

"That's Tara for you—she's a conniving woman who's told nothing but lies about me. She's always looking for means of hurting me."

"How did it end between the both of you?"

"It was ugly. I was having a hard time of life, and Tara had a lot of friends keeping her company. I was blinded by my love for her, and she wound up using it against me. She took me to court and told lies about me. Got a restraining order on my head and virtually stopped me from having anything to do with my little girl."

"So why's she back now?"

Eric shook his head. "I don't know, and I don't care. I don't want her—it's you I want to be with."

Shanice looked down at the table for a moment. This certainly wasn't going the way she'd planned. She was supposed to leave her still harbouring anger and hatred for the hurt she'd had when she visited his apartment that last time and ran into his ex. Even when he'd tried talking to her last time and she'd told him off, she had felt a bit happy about that, knowing then that whatever pain that was in her heart would soon go away once he did. Last night she'd gone to bed promising herself that never again would she make herself seem so cheap to anyone ... giving away her heart to anyone merely on a whim. But today—right now—wasn't feeling like when she woke up in the morning.

"Why ... how come you never told me about her in the beginning?" she asked.

"I didn't remember, really, I didn't. I haven't thought about Tara in a long time ... neither about my daughter," he turned his head to stare affectionately at Gloria who was deep into what she was eating. "Sounds careless, I know. And stupid too, but it's the truth. I've been so wrapped up in myself that for nearly two years now I'd forgotten I really had a daughter. Tara never allowed me visiting rights to see her until now. But I'm sorry I never told you. That was my mistake."

There had been a mountain-like iceberg forming in her heart from the moment Eric's ex had uttered those lines that she figured had sealed whatever warmth she'd been having for him. Hearing him right now utter the words he just said had brought a drastic change to the iceberg. Instead of continuing being cold and increasing in size, there was a sun just appearing and it was melting it away. She didn't know yet whether to be grateful for that or not ... but it felt good somewhat to feel the sun coming in through her windows once again. Never did she think it would happen again, or that it would be like this. She leaned forward and took Eric's hands in hers; there was no need for words to let him know he'd been forgiven.

"So, how come she decided now to leave your little girl with you?"

"That day she met you," said Eric, "when I got back to the apartment, she was there waiting for me. She talked about wanting me back, but somehow I figured that was a lie. She just wanted to know how I was doing and to find some new means of twisting the knife once again inside my heart. She brought Gloria to my place today, hoping she would persuade me that way."

"She seems to be quite a character, your ex-wife I mean," Shanice mused.

Eric shrugged. "I can't blame her—she's a Cancer."

Shanice frowned at this. "The star or the disease?"

"Wouldn't you prefer it if she were both?"

That cracked both of them up and they shared their laughter at it. Gloria turned to look at them, seeing they were happy at each other, returned to her meal.

"What do you plan on doing about her?" Shanice indicated at his daughter.

"I've been doing some quick thinking about that since morning. She too isn't happy being around her mother. I'm thinking maybe now's a better time to take her away from her mom. But how, I don't know."

"I know next to nothing about child custody stuff, but I know the court system's your best bet, and it's not going to be an easy fight."

"I know that. Most times the courts prefer awarding the child with the mother and making the father look like a bum, which was practically what happened to me." he stopped to observe Gloria; his eyes were getting misty. "I miss so much. I can't believe all this time I never thought about getting her back in my life. I can't believe what sort of absentee father I've turned out to be."

Shanice gave his hand a squeeze. "You said it yourself—your ex kept you away from her. There was nothing you could have done. Stop blaming yourself for that. If there's anyone who deserves being blamed it's her."

"That's comforting to hear you say." Eric took out his handkerchief and wiped the tears off his eyes.

"I guess now the question that remains is where does all of this leave us. Are you still mad at me?"

"I am mad at you," she said. "But I'm willing to let down my guard on one condition."

He took her hand in hers. "I'm listening."

"No more keeping secrets from me. Ever."

He brought her hand to his lips and kissed them. "I promise never to do so again."

Shanice smiled at him and cupped his face in her hands, recalling the texture of his skin and loving it. And loving him as well.

"Are you going to be working till evening?" he asked.

"Actually my boss gave me the rest of the day off. I was thinking pissed at you and he kind of saw the dark look on my face."

"So, where would you like to go from here?"

"My place," she said, and smiled. "You coming?"

"For sure I am. But first we'll have to make a stop someplace else. I've got to return Gloria to her mother before she calls the cops on me."