Brown Eyes Ch. 05

I couldn't believe he'd typed that in the chat room! I hoped no one else had seen it, but my friend Tom, who I hadn't realized was in the room, asked, "What got bent, Truetouch?"

"Towguy, something that isn't intended to bend," Javier answered.

I wasn't sure I liked having that broadcast in the chat room. I still felt bad about it, and everyone didn't need to know how clumsy I was. But no one except Tom seemed to see Javier's response. "That stinks, Truetouch," was Tom's only comment.

"Curiosity, are you still here?" Javier asked.

"I'm here," I typed. "Just being quiet. I'm tired."

"Well, you did have a lot of physical activity over the weekend."

"Good point."

"Yes, I do have a good point. A useful one, too."

I immediately caught the innuendo and laughed. "Will I get your point?" I typed.

"Yes, I'll make sure you get the full thrust of my point."

"Oh, for crying out loud!" Tom typed. "Curiosity, Truetouch, you guys need to get a room!"

"We had one last night," Javier replied.

After a little while, Javier excused himself from the chat room to do some paperwork. I didn't stay in chat much longer; it wasn't as much fun without Javier's innuendos. Out of boredom, I decided to work on an erotic story I'd started a few months earlier and had never finished. At the time, I hadn't had much motivation to write that kind of story, just curiosity to see whether I could. But now, the flirting with Javier had inspired me.

As often happened when I got into something I was writing, the words seemed to fly out of my fingers onto the computer screen. Before long, I was at the final sex scene. Unfortunately, even though I'd written one or two other erotic stories, sex scenes weren't my strong point. I could visualize the action, but always got stuck trying to find the words to describe it.

While I stared at the computer screen, trying to make the story cooperate, an IM from Javier popped up. "How did things go with your ex?"

"Better than I expected," I said. "He wanted to come inside and look for whatever it was he was looking for. I said no."

"Good for you," Javier replied. "Did he live there with you before you split up?"

"No. I moved here when I left him."

"Then he has no reason to go inside. It's your place, and you have a right to keep him out of it. How did it feel to take that kind of control?"

"It felt good. Really good."

"Glad to hear that. Did he give you a hard time?"

"He tried to keep the key he had, but I told him if he didn't give it back, I'd call the police."

"Good for you. So did he give it back?"

"Yes, he did."

"Good. You should be proud of yourself. You did a lot of standing up for yourself today."

"Yes, and I am proud. Thank you for your help and for encouraging me."

"You're welcome, carina. That's what friends do. Speaking of friends, I have a question for you."

"Go ahead." My stomach clenched; what was he going to ask?

"Did you tell your friends to talk to me?"

"No. About what?"

"I've had about half a dozen people tell me to treat you right and not to hurt you."

"I didn't ask anyone to say that. I didn't even know anyone did." Would he believe me? I was telling the truth, but I had the feeling he was angry with me.

"Then why did they say that to me?" he asked.

"I don't know. I didn't know anyone had till just now. I'm sorry."

"If you didn't tell them to say it, then you have nothing to be sorry for."

"I didn't."

"All right. Then you have no reason to be sorry. But you do understand that we aren't a couple, right?"

My heart sank. "Yes, I understand." Then what were we? He called me every night; I'd already seen him twice since the night we'd met. To me, that implied couplehood, but obviously I'd misinterpreted.

"We're friends with benefits, Adrienne. That's all. Okay?"

Was it okay? It didn't feel it to me. It was hard to say how I felt; I'd had hopes for more with Javier, and those hopes had just been smashed. But if I said it wasn't okay, I wouldn't have Javier in my life at all. It was better to have him on his terms, I decided. "Okay."

"I'm not mad. It was weird to have so many people talking to me like that, but I'm not mad, okay?"

"Okay."

"Is that all you can say?"

"No. I just can't think of anything else to say."

"Are you upset?"

"No." Of course I was. But saying so would probably upset Javier, and I didn't want to do that.

"You aren't saying much."

"I'm fine. I was working on a story."

"Oh? What kind of story?"

"Erotica."

"I'd like to read it when you finish it. Have you written others?"

"A couple, but they aren't very good."

"I'd still like to read them. Send them to me, please."

"Okay."

"There you go again. LOL. I have to get back to my paperwork, carina, but I'll talk to you later, all right?"

"All right."

He signed off, and I got up and walked away from the computer so I could wipe my eyes. At least he wasn't upset about my friends talking to him. But it hurt more than I wanted it to that he'd said we were just friends with benefits. What the hell did that mean, anyway? All I was to him was a fuck?

I'd definitely misunderstood things between him and me if that was the case. I hadn't expected much the night I'd met him, but since then I'd felt like he and I were, if not a couple, at least heading that way. But from the conversation I'd just had with him, I got the impression that we weren't heading that way and weren't going to be. I could live with the friends with benefits thing, I though. I just wished we'd had this conversation before I'd gotten my hopes up.

I didn't go back to the computer for a while. Instead, I cleaned the house and did some laundry, then read. Finally, I heard the instant message tone on the computer. I went over to see a message from Javier. "Are you okay?"

I sat down and typed, "Yes, I'm fine. Was taking a break from the computer."

"Sometimes that's a good idea. I was just in the chat room."

"Is anyone interesting in there?"

"A few people. Deirdre was talking about another meet and greet. She's planning to have it two weeks from now."

"That's pretty soon after the last one. And isn't that the weekend before Hannah's birthday?"

"I don't know. I'm just telling you what Deirdre said."

"Oh. Cool." I had no idea why he was telling me, though.

"I thought maybe you'd like to go. We could make sure to have a room this time."

"That would be a good thing. LOL."

"Yeah. LOL. So do you want to go?"

"Yes, it would be fun." Though I was surprised, after our earlier conversation, that he was asking me to go to a party that was two weeks away.

"Good. And we can try anal again at the hotel. Would you like that?"

"Yes."

"You'd like to feel my thick, long cock in your tight ass?"

Despite my attempts to the contrary, I felt myself getting wet. "Yes," I typed.

"Feeling the pain and pleasure as my shaft penetrates your nether hole?"

I laughed at his phrasing. "I don't like pain," I typed.

"Well, it's going to hurt at first, but you'll adjust."

"You're the one who should write erotic stories."

"I've tried, but I've never managed to finish one. But I'll give you something to write about the night of the meet and greet. Are you sure you want to go?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

"Good. I want you to understand, what I said before. I didn't mean that I only think about you for sex. We're friends. The friendship comes first. If you didn't ever want to fuck me again, we'd still be friends. Okay?"

"Okay." That made me feel a little better.

"Good. I didn't want to think I'd upset you. I'm not looking for a relationship right now. And if I was, you live too far away. But I want to keep seeing you."

That was a confusing statement, but I thought I understood. Maybe if I lived closer, a relationship could develop between us at some point. Or maybe that was just wishful thinking. Meanwhile, a friendship was better than nothing, and it was good to hear that Javier wanted to continue seeing me. "I want to keep seeing you as well," I typed.

"Good. So we'll talk more another time about the meet and greet. Think about all the things you've always wanted to do, and we'll plan to do them. Right now, it's back to paperwork for me. Good night, carina."

"Good night."

"Sleep with the angels."

"Sleep with the angels," I replied.