Brown Eyes Ch. 07byKarennaC©
It was an absolute nightmare. Javier and I argued. He paid attention to every woman at the party except for me. I sat on the sidelines in tears, watching him drift further and further away from me, until the phone rang.
Startled, I jumped and almost fell off the couch. The nightmare had been only that, though I was still in the grip of it. I fumbled for my cell phone on the coffee table and managed to flip it open just in time. "Hello?"
"Hello, Adrienne. Did I wake you?"
Javier's voice filled me with warmth, but also brought back the pain and fear from the nightmare. "You did, but that's a good thing," I said. "It's good to hear your voice."
"Yours too, carina. But I can let you go if you want to sleep."
"No, I'd rather talk to you."
"Is something wrong?"
"I had a nightmare. Your call woke me up from it, thank goodness."
I didn't want to discuss my fears about the upcoming party he and I were supposed to attend. I spent way too much time talking to him about things I was afraid of, and I was sure he was tired of hearing it. "It's hard to remember," I lied. "Just stuff from my past, I think. But I feel like I'm still in the middle of the dream. It was so realistic."
"You're not. You're awake, all that is over, and I'm with you."
I felt so safe when he said that. The concerns about the party were still there; ever since Javier had first asked me if I wanted to go, my stomach had twisted every time I thought about it. But Javier's voice wrapped around me like a blanket, and I felt a little better.
"I wish you really were here," I said.
"I wish we were together. But you're so far away. I can't come to see you; I can't be gone that long in case one of my social work clients needs me. And besides, from what you've told me about where you live, your neighbors might not think much of a Latino showing up."
"It wouldn't be any of their business. And if they thought anything, it would probably be that I had a hot guy visiting me."
"You'd be surprised. Some people can be very prejudiced. But we'll be together in two more days at the meet and greet, relaxing in the Jacuzzi in our hotel room, letting you experience new things. Have you made your list yet?"
"List?" Then I remembered Javier's request that I make a list of the sexual things I wanted to try. "No, not yet."
"Time's running out, carina. You want to try anal, right?"
"So you have to remember your butt plug so you'll be ready for me. Ready to feel my long, thick cock penetrating your nether hole. Is that what you want?"
"And you want to feel my tongue on your clit. What else do you want to do?"
"I don't know."
"Yes, you do. Make your list, Adrienne. Do you want to suck my cock?"
"To feel my warm cum flowing down your throat?"
"Yes." My pussy started to pulse.
"Are you getting wet?"
"Very. I can't wait till Saturday."
"Neither can I, carina. Are you going to wear the dress you wore the night we met?"
My face flushed as I remembered the minidress I'd worn that night, and Javier's hands reaching under it to touch me in the parking lot at the bar. "No, I'm not wearing that," I said. "Everyone's seen it. I'm not sure what I'm going to wear."
"Make it something short and sexy. If you don't know what to wear, bring a couple of outfits and I'll help you choose."
I yawned. "Okay."
"You're tired, carina. I'll let you go. No more nightmares, okay?"
"I'll do my best."
"Good. Sleep with the angels."
"Sleep with the angels."
* * *
Saturday morning, I woke up earlier than I wanted to. My mind was already racing with thoughts of the night to come. My gut clenched at the idea of driving the two and a half hours to the hotel. What if Javier didn't show up? What if he and I got into an argument like the one in my nightmare? I'd felt for days like going to the party would end badly, but I didn't have any other reason not to go. Just my own paranoia. Surely that was all it was.
With my mind stuck on all that, it was no wonder I couldn't get back to sleep. I went downstairs and turned on my computer. Leaving it to start up, I went to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee. When I went back to my desk, there was an instant message from Javier. "What time can we check into the hotel?"
I sat down and typed, "Hang on. I'll call and ask."
I called the hotel and learned that check-in was at three. After a little negotiation, I arranged for Javier and me to check in at one thirty, and typed the information to Javier. "That's good," he replied. "We'll have more time to play before the party."
"Yeah, as long as we don't get so involved we don't want to leave the room."
"That wouldn't be a bad thing. I have to go get some things done if I'm to be able to go. Call me when you leave your house."
Part of me hoped that he wouldn't be able to finish what he had to do. If he couldn't make it, there wouldn't be anything for me to worry about. Another part of me wanted to tell Javier I couldn't make it after all, but he'd already signed out.
I finished my coffee, took a shower, and was ready to get on the road by ten thirty. Even though it wouldn't take me three hours to get to the hotel, I decided to leave. It was better than being home getting stressed about the trip.
On the way, I stopped a couple of times for food and drinks. I got to the hotel at exactly one thirty. Since Javier wasn't there yet, I paid for the room and got settled in. As settled as I could be, anyway.
An hour later, Javier still hadn't shown up. Had he decided not to come? I'd been stood up for dates before, but that didn't seem like something Javier would do. Had something happened to him?
I picked up my cell phone. I'd just located his number in the address book when the phone rang. "Javier? Where are you?" I asked.
"Lost. Where the hell is that hotel?"
I cringed at the anger in his voice, but tried to cover it when I replied, "Route one forty-six south. You take the same exit you take to go to the bar where we met, and follow the signs to the route."
"Great," he muttered. "I've already gone past that exit. If my goddamn GPS hadn't been stolen, I would have been there an hour ago."
"Your GPS was stolen?"
"Yeah, some asshole broke into my car in the parking lot of my building. That's why I'm running late; I had to wait for the police to show up. Thank God I hadn't left my laptop in the car. But they took my GPS and my satellite radio. Perfect fucking timing; I needed both today. What's the exit number, do you know?"
I told him. "Where are you now?"
"About five exits past that. Fuck. I'll have to get off the fucking highway and turn around. I'll call you back when I'm heading in the right direction." He hung up.
I curled up in a ball on the bed to try to ease the ache in my stomach. I'd heard Javier angry, but never this angry. I almost hoped he'd stay lost; I was afraid to be around him. To be around anyone who was furious. It usually got taken out on me.
A few minutes later, the phone rang again. "I'm going the right way," Javier said when I answered. "It says one mile to the exit. When I get off, which way do I go?"
"Left off the exit, then left again at the second light." I closed my eyes to visualize the route; I didn't want to think about what might happen if I gave him the wrong directions. "Yeah, that's right."
"Are you sure?" he snapped.
A lump came to my throat. "Yes, I'm sure. Route one forty-six south. Let me know once you're on the route, and I'll walk out to the side of the road to help you find the entrance to the hotel. It's hard to spot."
"I remember that much from the night we met. Okay."
He was silent for a few moments, then said, "Okay, one forty-six south. Found it. How far is the hotel?"
"You're about five minutes away. I'll head down."
I slipped on my shoes and left the room, making sure I had the key card. Javier and I chatted as I walked; now that he was no longer lost, Javier sounded calmer.
I stopped at the edge of the road and strained my eyes for Javier's car. "I don't see you," he said.
"I don't see you yet either. What are you passing?"
"A gas station." He named it.
"Okay. In a minute or so, you'll come to a traffic light. I can see the light from here. The hotel's only about half a mile past that, maybe not even that far. I'm right beside the road."
He was silent again, then finally said, "Okay, I'm coming to the light."
I squinted in the sunlight. "I think I see you." I started waving. "Do you see someone by the side of the road waving like an idiot?"
"Yes, I do. If you flap any harder, you'll fly away."
That might have been a good thing. As I watched his car getting closer, I got more tense. Did he blame me for his getting lost? When he pulled to a stop beside me, I took a few seconds to close my phone and slip it into my pocket before I got into the car. That gave me a chance to take a few deep breaths and try to settle down.
Javier's deep brown eyes were hidden behind a pair of mirrored sunglasses, making it hard for me to gauge his mood. He leaned over and gave me a peck on the lips. "Good to see you."
"You too. I'm glad you made it."
"So am I. I could really use two of the three B's right now. Backrub and blowjob."
"We'll see what we can do."
He drove along the shoulder of the road to the hotel entrance. When he made the turn, he sighed. "Finally. Where's our room?"
"In the back building."
Javier parked, and we went to our room. "Nice place," he said. He ran his hand along the side of the Jacuzzi. "How come you haven't filled this yet?"
"I was waiting for you." I stood warily by the door. After years with my ex, I'd learned to be on my guard when someone was angry, even if they seemed to have settled down. There was no way to know whether the volcano might erupt again.
Javier held out his arms to me. "What's wrong, carina? Aren't you happy to see me?"
I hugged him. "Of course I am. I was worried about you, that's all."
"Worried that I wasn't going to show up when I was late? Or worried that I was mad at you when I called?"
"Worried that you were mad," I admitted.
"Why would I be mad at you?"
"Because you got lost on the way to meet me."
"So why would I be mad at you? Did you make me get lost?"
"Did you steal my GPS?" His voice rose.
"Then why the hell would I be mad at you?"
My shoulders slumped as I hunched over, trying to hide like I usually did when someone yelled. "I don't know."
"Have I ever given you any reason to think I'd get mad at you for things that aren't your fault?"
"No." I just had reasons to believe that anyone would be angry with me for anything.
"So why would you think I'd be angry with you now?"
Against my will, I felt myself slumping further. "Because you're raising your voice."
Javier took off his sunglasses and gave me a look filled with both anger and understanding. "You're scared of me right now, aren't you?" he asked in a quieter tone.
"Don't you understand that I would never hurt you? Maybe I shouldn't have come. I should leave."
I shook my head as the tears started to fall. "I want you to stay. Please."
"You aren't acting like it. I was stressed about having my car broken into and getting lost. I thought I'd be able to come here and relax with you, and instead you're crying and telling me you're afraid of me. Adrienne, when I get angry I get loud. It's me. It's the way I am. And then it blows over. You have to understand that if you want to be with me. I wasn't angry with you at all."
But he was now. I leaned against the wall and pressed the heels of my hands against my eyes. I couldn't cry. I had to fix this. "I'm sorry," I said.
"Don't be sorry. Just stop and think. Do you think I would hurt you if I got angry with you?"
"Yes, you do." He reached out to touch me, and involuntarily, I flinched. He took a deep breath. "Adrienne, talk to me. Tell me what's going on in your head, because otherwise I have to think you don't want me here."
"It scares me when people get angry," I said. "You don't know what it means when people get angry."
"It means they're angry, and they get over it." He took a step toward me. I managed not to shrink back only because the wall prevented me. "I only know a little about your marriage, but I've heard enough to have a pretty good idea of what it was like when he got angry. I'm not him, Adrienne. Look at me."
I looked up and met a pair of deep brown eyes that were now filled with concern. "I know you're not him," I said. "But I've only known you a few weeks, and I'd never seen you that angry."
"I have a hot temper. It's the way every male in my family is. Can you blame me for losing my temper after the day I've had?"
"No. But I was afraid you were mad at me about getting lost."
"Not at all. You're the one who gave me the directions to get here, aren't you? I was mad at myself for being that stupid, and mad at the asshole who stole my GPS. Not at you. Come sit down with me, okay?"
In addition to the king-size bed, the room contained a loveseat. Javier took my hand and led me to it, and we sat down together. He put his arm around me and I started to feel more secure. "Talk to me," he said again.
"I talk about my ex too much."
"Sometimes you do, yes. But I'm asking this time. I could just walk out that door and go home, but I don't want to do that. I want to be with you tonight, and we have to work this out first. So tell me."
"It was never pretty when my ex got mad at me," I said. "And no matter what actually triggered his anger, it was always directed at me. If he lost a job, it was my fault because I wasn't supportive enough. If he caught a cold, it was my fault because I worked at a school and must have brought the virus home. If he couldn't find something, it was because I either hid it or hadn't made sure it was put where he could find it. Most of the time when he got mad, he just yelled at me. Pretty nasty yelling; swearing, calling me names, but still just yelling. But sometimes he threw things at me or broke things that he knew were important to me."
"Did he ever hit you?"
I nodded. "Two or three times while we were married. And once he... never mind."
"What did he do, carina?"
Javier's voice was soft, caring, and it gave me the courage to say what I'd never wanted to admit to anyone. "He raped me. I had a male friend who came over for supper, and my ex convinced himself I was having an affair with my friend. So he forced me to have sex with him to 'prove' that I wasn't."
Tears started to fall, but this time I made no attempt to stop them. Javier stroked my hair and said nothing for a few moments. For a second, I was afraid I'd said too much, but I relaxed when I realized I could feel his caring and concern. His love, even though he'd never said it and I doubted he would. Finally he said, "Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me that."
"Thank you for listening."
"I'll always listen to you if you need me to." He hugged me. "We're friends, aren't we? Friends are there for each other."
"Yeah." Just friends. No matter how much I wished there could be more.
"What are you thinking?"
I couldn't tell him what I was really thinking, so instead I said, "I'm wondering what you think of me now that I've told you that."
"I don't think anything different of you. I think your ex-husband is a fucking asshole and if I ever saw him, I'd probably pound the shit out of him. No man has the right to treat a woman that way, and no woman deserves it. Do you understand that? You didn't deserve what he did."
"Have you gotten counseling?"
"No. I keep meaning to, but I think I have to get a referral from my doctor, and I haven't gotten around to it yet."
"You need to. There's no shame in getting counseling, and with all this hanging over you, I think you need it. You have to learn to handle it when someone gets angry around you. You had me kind of scared the way you were reacting just now. I understand why now, but before you explained, I didn't know what was going on. Promise me you'll look into counseling."
"I promise." Which meant I'd have to do it; I never broke promises if I could help it.
"Thank you." He kissed my cheek. "Are you feeling better now?"
"Yes. Thank you."
"For what? All I did was listen."
"That's a lot."
"I'm glad it helped you."
We stayed there together for a few minutes. Gradually the tension and fear left me. I couldn't believe Javier was being so patient with me, but I was thankful for it.
After a while, I turned toward him to thank him again. His lips met mine, stifling my words. The brief kiss grew deeper when his tongue parted my lips to meet my tongue. He cupped my cheek with one hand, and ran the other down my side, almost but not quite touching my breasts. I shivered at his touch, not out of fear but from arousal.
"Let's move to the bed," Javier suggested. "You can give me those two B's."
"You deserve them," I agreed.
He lay on his stomach on the bed. Straddling his hips, I massaged his shoulders. He groaned appreciatively and relaxed into the pillow and mattress. "That feels nice, carina."
"I'm glad," I said. "You're so tense, it's like knots."
"It's worse in my midback." He used his thumb to point to the spot. "I injured my back years ago playing high school football."
When I got to the spot he'd indicated, I found he was right. That part of his back was so tense and tight it made his neck and shoulders seem relaxed. For quite a while, I worked on his back and shoulders. As he became more relaxed, so did I. At least he wasn't angry anymore.
Finally he said, "That's enough, Adrienne. Any more and I'll fall asleep."
"Are you ready for your second B now?" I teased.
"You know it."
He rolled onto his back and lay still. It took me a moment to catch on that he was waiting for me to undo his pants. I did so, and reached in to stroke his cock. "You don't have to be so gentle with it," he said.
I grasped him more firmly and moved my hand back and forth along his cock. He raised his hips so I could pull down his pants and boxers. With his cock revealed, I bent my head and took the tip into my mouth. "That's it," he moaned. "Suck that cock, baby."
His thick brown cock was too long for me to take completely into my mouth, but I did my best, fondling his balls as I sucked. He twined his fingers in my hair and tugged gently. The wetness in my pussy when he did that surprised me.
"Suck my balls, carina," he murmured after a few moments.
I licked down his shaft to his balls and gently sucked one, then the other. Alternating between them, I stroked his cock until he replaced my hand with his own. "Go lower," he said.
I moved down to rim his asshole while he continued handling his cock. It was only a minute or so before he said, "I'm going to come."
Quickly I moved up to cover his cock with my mouth, just in time to receive his cum. I swallowed it all. "Good girl," he said. "Give me a few minutes, and then you can try to get me hard again."
"Why would I want to do that?" I joked.
"So I can fuck your sweet pussy and your tight little ass. Why don't you fill the Jacuzzi?"
I got up and went to the Jacuzzi, but couldn't figure out how to fill it. I didn't want to admit to Javier how challenged I was with it, but after a few seconds he got up and said, "You don't know how?"
"No. You know I've never been in one."
"Yeah, but it isn't hard to do. No problem, though." He turned on the water. "Did you bring your butt plug?"
My face got warm. "Yes, and some lube."
"Good. Get it and let's put it in so you'll be ready for my cock when it's time."
"I'm going to have it in in the Jacuzzi?"