Brownwood: Ghost of XMas Past

Both women were silent for a few seconds.

"It took months before the old Ronnie began to show any signs of being still there. When he finally started turning it around he poured himself back into his music."

"I heard his studio is doing pretty well."

"Better than just pretty well," Mo exclaimed. "We've only been working at it a year-and-a-half and it's already starting to take off."

"What's it called again?"

"Tuna Fish Music," Mo giggled.

Belle almost choked remembering how Ronnie loved to play with double meanings.

"You've got to be kidding."

"Nope," Mo said laughing. "Officially the name came from REO Speedwagon's album, You Can Tune A Piano, But You Can't Tuna Fish. You know that boy's love of the 70's!

"But you should've seen the first company logos Ronnie proposed. They were positively pornographic!"

Belle chuckled to herself as she imagined some the ideas Ronnie had probably come up with. It was too easy and with his sense of humor it would've been fun.

"Just to let you know," Mo continued, "Kyle is here in Brownwood too. He teaches up at the high school and helps with the school band. I manage the studio and work with a few of the acts Ronnie manages. I also do a couple sets a few times a month with Ronnie and Kyle at a blues bar just down the street from the studio. It's called the Blue Note.

"It won't lead to fame and fortune since it's the blues but I still love it. Plus Ronnie used his emotions during your divorce to write some damn good blues songs. He also used some of that anger to collaborate with a young rapper and her husband out of the City. Turns out Ronnie's managing them now and co-writing some of their stuff.

"Their names are Tyrone and LaRaine Thomas but they go by Thunda and Rhayne. They're only nineteen and already got a couple kids but damn they're good. I mean... damn good! Ronnie's already been talking to several East Coast labels about collaborating and I know they'll be making some waves in the industry very, very soon."

"Wow, he's been busy," Belle stated.

"Girl, that's not even the half of it! He's also working with some fifty year-old recluse on a project that links band instruments to the sound systems using wireless and computer chip technology. The old guy is named Victor Grymm and is supposed to be some kind of geek guru."

"With all that going on," Belle softly, "he must not have time to date very much."

Monique snorted.

"Well," she replied cautiously. "There were quite a few women sniffing around him over the past year. He used to date a lot of them once or twice but not anymore. I never see him go out on dates anymore, so those who still come around don't stay very long. At least that's what I've seen and I'm around him all the time. You could call Kyle up, but he'd probably say the same thing. Why the concern, Belle? I'd thought you'd still be with Goldilocks."

This time it was Belle's turn to snort with disgust.

"Vince and I haven't been together since his 'accident.' He spent the end of our tour avoiding me. When we went back into the studio he'd hardly talk to me. I finally cornered him and found out one of his attackers had threatened to cripple his hand permanently if he ever messed with me again. After that, any time we talked it was only about the band and our music. The friendship was dead.

"So how is the arrogant prick?"

"Last I heard he was doing pretty well. The hair had grown back and he has full use of his hand again."

"Damn, that's too bad. Karma must've been asleep on that one."

They talked for a short time longer and Belle found out where Ronnie was living. He had an apartment in the poorer part of Brownwood. Of course all he had to do was walk a block and cross Southtown Road and he was at the Blue Note and a couple more blocks north up Main Street was his studio.

Belle began to make arraignments to fly home the following week. She'd be home for Christmas, but what kind of reception she'd get had her worried.

****

When Ronnie opened the door, she could see he'd changed. Gone were the long ponytail and Foo Manchu. He also no longer looked like he'd been starving for weeks. Ronnie now only sported a trimmed moustache and goatee to go along with his shoulder length hair and tattoo covered arms. Although he wasn't overweight he looked stockier than before, healthier.

To be honest, Belle thought, he looks good... damn good!

"Hi baby," Belle said with a weak smile.

"Belle," he replied in a voice as chilly as the night wind. "What do you want?"

"Well, it's Christmas and I was visiting some old friends in the City. I missed you, so while I was in the area I thought I'd stop by and surprise you. So... surprise!"

"Not really," he stated. "Mo said she'd talked to you last week. She also figured you might call me. So no, it's not really a big surprise."

After an uncomfortable moment of silence she finally spoke.

"Umm Ronnie," she said softly. "It's kind of cold out here and this isn't the best neighborhood. You think I could come in and we could talk for a little bit?"

Ronnie stepped out onto the landing and partially closed the door. He'd left it open just enough to see clearly into his living room.

"Nah, I don't think so Belle. We pretty much said everything we needed a couple years ago."

He paused and smiled slightly.

"There's probably a song in there somewhere," Ronnie chuckled.

Belle smiled sadly. Some things hadn't changed.

"Mo said your studio is doing well."

"Yeah, we're doing pretty well. Mo has been great and there are a couple of real good things that are possible in the near future.

"I'm glad for you, Ronnie. I really am, especially after what I did to you. What I did to us."

"So how is the asshole?"

"I don't know, his hair grew back and he said his hand was back to normal. I haven't talked to him but a couple of times after the tour was cancelled."

"To bad," Ronnie smirked.

"I know you were a part of that, Ronnie. Not to say he or I didn't deserve it."

"Belle," he said calmly. "I understand why you'd think I had a hand in that but I'll tell you the same thing I told the cops. Does he still have his balls and can you still sing? If the answer is 'yes' to either of those, then it sure as hell wasn't me."

She looked at him sadly. She was desperately trying to keep this from becoming an argument.

"It's Christmas so I'm trying not to be too much of an ass here," he sighed. "But why are you here, Belle?"

She swallowed, steeling herself.

"I needed to tell you how sorry I am things turned out the way they did. I wanted to try and explain why I made some of the stupid decisions that I did. I know it won't change things but I felt like I owed it to you."

She looked at him hoping to see some signs of warmth and compassion. However all she found was the stone face and emotionless eyes of the man that once claimed to love her. She prayed there was still some feelings for her buried beneath all the hurt.

"It started when the record label offered us that deal," she said softly. "I was shocked by your reaction. It seemed like you didn't want me to chase a dream that we'd talked about even when we were just dating in college. I know it sounds a little selfish but I thought you'd have been more supportive. I know I would've wanted you to chase your dreams."

Ronnie's face clouded with anger.

"You're wrong, Belle," he said in a cold voice. "It was more than just a little selfish and I thought I was chasing our dreams. That's right Belle, our dreams, not mine and not yours.

"I'm not sure when they turned into only your dreams but I know they weren't mine when you turned your back on me. I know it wasn't my dream to be treated like some piece of dog shit on the bottom of your boot. It sure as hell wasn't my dream to find the love of my life humping her way to an orgasm on the lap of that blonde dickhead!"

He breathed deeply and calmed himself. Belle stared at him with tears in her eyes.

"I'm sorry," she said as a tear ran down her cheek. "I wish I could take it back but I can't. I'm so very sorry, Ronnie."

Ronnie sighed.

"Alright Belle, maybe you are sorry. It really doesn't matter anymore. You've got your dreams and I've got mine. I once thought they were the same but I was wrong. I made a mistake but I've moved on, I hope you have too."

"Well that's just it... I haven't. I was just in the area and I wanted to see you. To apologize for being a selfish bitch and to tell you I still love and miss you. I look back at what we had and I kick myself for not fighting harder for it. I got wrapped up in the 'business' and lost sight of the man I loved. Dammit Ronnie, you know how this business feeds on people like us and then spits them out. We both knew what it was going to be like before we even formed the band!"

He nodded.

"But I figured since we both knew about those traps, we'd be able to get past them... together. I was wrong. You didn't try very hard to avoid them did you Belle? You just accepted that they were going to happen and then let it."

"You're right I did," she said softly. "I'm ashamed to say it's taken me this long to begin trying to figure out who I really am. Right now, I'm just trying to find out where I lost myself. You know they always say if you don't like who you are, then look back to when you did and see where you went wrong."

He snorted.

"Well if you're talking about us that's pretty easy Belle," he sneered. "That would've been about the time I was begging you to stay with me, pleading with you that we could do this together. I'm pretty sure your answer was you needed to chase your dreams. Then you had the balls to tell me I didn't love you since I wouldn't tell you to just go for it. Yeah, I think that might be a great place to begin."

Belle had the decency to blush and turn away.

"You're right," she said her voice cracking. "Ronnie I'm sorry I said and did those things. I got so wrapped up in it all."

"Belle," he sighed. "I knew you and Vince would probably get your breaks before me. Hell you two had the talent. But I was shocked you'd throw me to the side. We'd always planned on chasing those things together.

"Do you realize you never lifted a finger when that bastard record company was driving me out? You were always too busy with your image or the next performance. I knew we were in trouble the first time they sent me ahead to Nashville to set up for the next show. I doubt if you even knew I wasn't there."

Belle paled slightly. She remembered that night vividly. When she couldn't find Ronnie, she'd sought out Vince. There wasn't anything sexual about it then but it was the first time she looked for intimate comfort and strength from someone other than her husband. It had opened the door for the affair that was to come.

"I remember, Ronnie," she whispered. "I noticed you weren't there."

"But you never said or did anything about it, did you?"

Her eyes began to fill with tears again and she shook her head.

"Look Belle, what's past is past. It's taken me a bit but I'm finally past all that. It's just a bad dream now, a ghost."

"But I don't want it to be just a memory Ronnie. That's why I'm here. I was hoping we could talk and maybe find a way that we could still be at least friends... or maybe... maybe something more."

"Look Belle, I don't want to be ugly about this but why in the hell would I ever trust you again. The first chance you'd get to go after your dream again and you'd be gone. Let it go Belle and just move on, I did."

"Ronnie," she pleaded. "I'm so sorry. I know I don't deserve..."

"Hey sweet thang," came the smooth silky voice from the back bedroom. "Bring that skinny white boy ass back in here. Momma's got some Christmas goodies for you to eat!"

Ronnie tried to hide his grin as Mo strutted into the living room dressed only in a candy cane striped bustier and matching thong. He had no idea how she could pour that lush chocolate body into that tiny, little outfit but he couldn't help but pray he'd get the chance to free it. Again and again.

"Holy shit, Ronnie!" Mo squealed. "Shut the damn door! What are you trying to do, put frosting on these brown sugar treats?"

She stopped and giggled as she caressed her magnificent breasts.

"Ooh," she cooed. "Now that does sound kind of..."

She froze when she saw Belle. Then a sweet but evil smile started to spread across her lovely face. It struck Ronnie that it eerily resembled the Grinch's smile. He could see the vicious, little thoughts dancing in her big beautiful brown eyes.

"Mo," he chuckled, "it's Christmas, be nice."

She turned and winked at him.

"And what if I'm naughty? Won't I get a present?" she asked sweetly.

"Oh hell," he smiled at her. "You know I love you whether you're naughty or nice."

Belle saw Mo's face soften and radiate as she peered at Ronnie with a look full of love and desire. It reminded Belle of the way Ronnie had once looked at her. She knew then it was over.

"Hmm, thought it might've still been Halloween," Mo said smirking at Belle, "seeing as we have a little witch trick-or-treating at the door."

"Mo?" Ronnie chuckled as he warned her.

She looked back at him, blew him a little kiss and grinned.

"So spank me, Santa," she giggled.

"You could've told me," Belle said coldly trying to hide her embarrassment.

"Told you what?" Mo asked innocently. "That there were plenty of others that would jump at the chance to get next to Vanilla Nice here? Damn girl, you think that little kitty between your legs is made out of gold?"

Mo laughed as Belle glared silently. The tears that slowly made their way down her face burned as she struggled to hide her hurt and humiliation.

"You should've known this fine piece of white meat wouldn't go to waste waiting for you to pull your head out of your ass. Oh excuse me... while you chased your dreams."

Ronnie stepped back inside the apartment, as Monique draped her arms around him and crushed her breasts into his chest. Their passionate kiss raised the room temperature by a good three degrees as he reached down and squeezed her firm bubble butt.

"Ooh, did Santa bring me a candy cane to play with?" she asked playfully as she stroked the front of his jeans. "I think I know how to take care of those. You just lick and suck on it till it melts in your mouth, right?"

Ronnie let out a low groan. They both knew they'd never make it all the way back to the bedroom. Of course many people have very fond memories of spending Christmas on the living room floor... opening presents.

Belle had that awkward feeling of being a third wheel. She shifted her weight to her other leg as the cold wind sent a shiver down her spine.

Ronnie reached down and gently removed Mo's hand from his groin. Pulling it up to his lips, he gently kissed it.

"Vanilla Nice?" he whispered still staring into her eyes. "That was cold."

She smiled and kissed him again.

"Don't worry baby, I'll make it up to you. My Ronnie Beck..." she said possessively staring deep into his eyes.

"My Ronnie Beck, the other white meat!"

With that she spun around and slowly strutted over to the couch. She made sure to give him plenty of time to wonder just how deep her thong was buried in her luscious ass before she turned and sat down. Crossing her legs, she smiled wickedly.

Belle watched her ex-husband's face as his eyes devoured every inch of Mo. Painfully, she realized he didn't know if she was still there, or even care. His entire attention was focused on the woman who'd replaced her.

"Now get over here and unwrap your present," Mo said with a giggle. "I can hardly breathe in this damn thing!"

"And baby?" she cooed, "remember to take out the trash?"

"Already have, love," he said shutting the door in Belle's face. "I already have."

A few minutes later, a stunned Belle LaDonn made her way back to her car. The tears in her eyes had made leaving quickly impossible but she was thankful the sound of the wind had covered her sharp sobs.

Damn I miss LA, she sobbed to herself knowing there wasn't anything waiting back there for her but broken dreams and a long road to recovery. Nothing... except a warmer winter.

****

Okay, not the typical heavy BTB revenge of my other stories but... hey, it's Christmas! Speaking of which I need to go put on my Santa outfit and ask DFWBeauty to come sit in my lap and tell Santa Beast what she wants for Christmas! Maybe I can talk her into wearing that little elf costume again. Hey Santa Beast has Christmas wishes too! <grins>

DFWBeauty and I wish you and yours a most wonderful Christmas and Holiday Season!