Brownwood: Hedge Funds Ch. 01

"It wasn't like that," I pleaded. "Even though it was exciting at first, it was never better than what I have with you. I forgot for a moment what was most important to me."

"You can't be that stupid," he snorted.

"If you asked our children what was the most fun and exciting thing they did last summer we both know what their answers would be. It would be their trips to Six Flags! There's no way our little pool in the backyard or even our trips to Crystal Lake could ever compete with the excitement of an amusement park.

"That's what your affair with that piece of shit was, a trip to an amusement park. The excitement of doing something illicit, the thrill of having sex with someone besides your spouse, and you've made it very clear he was bigger and better than I am. All those things made your little affair a hell of a lot more memorable than anything you were getting at home, didn't it dear?

"You say you know you've hurt me but there's really no way you can know that kind of pain. You've no idea what it's like to lay there night after night wondering why you weren't enough for your spouse. Thinking, if you'd known she was dissatisfied, you would've tried anything to make it better and more exciting. There's no way to describe the empty loneliness of holding the one you love and knowing she's lying to you. Each time she declares her love, it's poisoned by her secrets.

"Sarah, I'll never be able to compete physically or emotionally with your little affair. It'll be something you'll always remember. To think otherwise is just plain denial. There's only one way someone could ever know the hell somebody goes through when their spouse cheats on them and that's to experience it themselves.

"Honey," I whispered, my heart in my throat. "You're not suggesting..."

"David," Mr. James intervened. "Are you saying you intend to have an affair yourself?"

I felt the blood run out of my face at the thought of my husband with another woman. Right after I'd ended my affair I'd tried to imagine him cheating on me. I tried to imagine the pain of my betrayal through his eyes. The guilt had nearly overwhelmed me. Now I was facing the cold reality he was considering doing just that.

"Please David," I pleaded through my tears. "I can't do it. I know it's not fair, that I'm being hypocritical but I couldn't take the thought of you planning to have an affair. Please don't ask me to do that!"

He stared at me for several seconds. Finally he sighed deeply.

"Sarah, at home on our computer there are two encrypted files, named Alpha and Omega. Included in those files are the things Rachel sent to me. There are things in there that are hard to watch, at least they were for me, but I believe you need to see it too. You need to see it if for no other reason than to make sure there aren't any more secrets between us.

"I'm scheduled to fly out to Phoenix later this afternoon for a few days. I need to wrap up that project so I won't be able to talk much while I'm there. I'll try to call you tomorrow night."

He looked over at me and spoke as he stood up and prepared to leave the room.

"The password you'll need," he said sadly, "is 'Chicago'."

My heart sank. I watched helplessly as my husband walked out the door.

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