Brownwood: Tommy Boy Ch. 03

"The next morning, I asked him where he'd been last night. He told me he'd gone out with some friends. I'd like to say I handled it better, but I didn't.

"I didn't have these back then," she said looking down at her large breasts, "but I was making a living turning men on. It didn't take much to find someone to get my revenge with. To make things worse and hurt Jimmy even more, I decided to have a one night stand with one of his slimy friends. Until my dying day, I'll regret doing that.

"I knew it would get back to my husband, and it did. The fight was ugly. It was then I found out he'd been going over to his ex-girlfriend's house, but not to have sex. I learned the reason she'd moved back in high school was because her parents found out she was pregnant. She was supposed to have gotten an abortion but changed her mind and didn't. She never told Jimmy she hadn't gone through with it, so Jimmy learned he was a daddy and had a son.

"The reason the house was dim was because Jimmy was going over and rocking his son to sleep. He said he'd been afraid to tell me about it since our marriage was already in trouble. I was angry at him for his lies, but I was devastated at my betrayal.

"Between my cheating and his secrets, our marriage crumbled. I begged for his forgiveness, but my desire to hurt him with my revenge sex had been too much. It was a month before our two-year anniversary that the divorce was final. I was a twenty year-old, cheating, stripper ex-wife! Not the dream of most little girls growing up.

"I was alone and struggling and hated myself. That's when I met Eric. He was managing the gym where I'd started going. I guess karma really is a bitch, isn't it? I shit all over my first marriage, and then Eric shit all over my second one!

"But in the end it always comes down to this, once a cheater, always a cheater, right?" she whispered. "How can anyone love that?"

She rolled back over and I held her tightly as she cried. After several minutes, she grew quiet and I thought she might've fallen asleep. I fought the tears I had in my eyes after listening to her pain and her self judgement. I gently kissed the back of her neck.

"Damn, Angie, I wish you could see yourself through my eyes," I whispered as I snaked my arm between her breasts and cupped her cheek again.

Her response surprised me and changed the way I saw this woman.

"How do you see me?" She said it so softly I almost missed the fear and uncertainty in her voice.

It was then I realized she believed she already knew what I saw. I was like every other man she'd gone to bed with in that they desired what they saw and their desire blinded them to seeing deeper. She'd simply accepted this was just the way it was always going to be. My heart broke as I began to see how her beauty had been both a blessing and a curse to her.

"I wish I was a poet so I'd be able to say what I want to in a way you'd like, but I'm not. What I am is some lucky fool who's lying in bed holding the most exquisite creature he's ever met.

"I won't tell you I love you because I doubt you'd believe me. You'd probably think I was confusing love with lust, and you'd be partially right. There's no doubt I desire you, but it's much more than that.

"What I see, Angie, is an incredible woman who is so much more than just a pair of tits. Unfortunately, she has a difficult time believing it. Actually, she knows it's true but she's convinced herself no guy will ever be able to see beyond her stunning looks.

"She'd be wrong.

"I won't deny I love the way you look or that being inside you was one of the greatest feelings I've ever had. I loved the feeling of you wrapped around me. I'll always remember tonight. From your incredible kisses to your soft, smooth skin to the warm, moist piece of heaven between your legs, I love the exquisite way you taste.

"I also love the way your eyes sparkle when you talk about Erica, or the gym, or anything else you're proud of. I love the sound of your laugh. It brings a smile to my face no matter how shitty my day has been. I'm continuously impressed as I watch you deal with all of the different personalities at the gym.

"Angie, I see an intelligent and very savvy businesswoman who is hard as nails on the outside, but is an incredibly sensitive woman in private. She's a momma bear, fierce in her defense of her child and of those she cares for, and can be selfless in providing for their needs.

"She's also afraid. Having to be strong all the time is killing her. She's concerned that if she allows someone into her life he could hurt her, or worse, hurt Erica. That fear leaves her feeling alone, isolated against the world.

"What has to be frustrating is she knows her love, desire and passion would overwhelm the man she falls in love with. If he'd allow her, she'd be his world with Erica being their moon. She'd be a gift to him that was more valuable than anything he could ever imagine."

I felt her hand cover mine as she pressed it softly to her cheek. I could feel the moisture from her tears.

"Angel," I said as I gently brushed back a strand of golden hair and kissed her ear, "you really are a remarkable woman. Thank you for giving me this night. I'll remember it for the rest of my life."

She reached for my hand and placed it on one of her magnificent breasts. I felt her gently grind her ass into my groin. I held her tight until we both fell asleep, my angel in my arms.

Sometime in the middle of the night, I woke up to an incredibly warm sensation followed by a brief sharp stabbing pain around my cock. Looking down I saw the shadow veiled face of Angie as she gently was worshiping my manhood. I felt the moist heat of her mouth as she enveloped me then another sharp stab as she found a raw area.

It took me a moment to remember we hadn't washed up afterwards, and I thought of Angie doing something she wouldn't normally have done.

"Angie," I whispered, "You don't have to do that. We can shower first."

She looked up at me and smiled.

"A little late for that, don't you think?" She chuckled. "Besides, it's something I haven't done in a long time."

She bent back over and took me completely into her mouth. I let out a soft groan as she began to bob her head up and down. When I was fully primed, she stopped and looked up at me. I began to say something but she put her finger over my lips.

"Tommy Boy," she whispered, her desire lacing her soft voice. "That was something I hadn't done in a few years but this..."

She gently crawled up and straddled me.

"This is something," she growled as she began to impale herself on me, "I haven't done since the first year of my marriage to Jimmy."

I was confused, so I was silent. This was her show. She slowly slid me into her, not like earlier, but more like putting on a glove. It wasn't until I was completely embedded to the hilt that I felt her begin to clamp around me with her muscles.

She tightly closed her eyes and began rocking slowly. With each long precise stroke, she slid up and down my pole as her breathing was beginning to become raspy.

As she began to quicken her pace, I felt her bear down on me even more. I thought for a brief moment she was squeezing so hard that she would begin peeling the skin off my dick. Soon, she had her desired rhythm and I watched in awe as her face began to contort in desire and pleasure.

I felt the small tremors begin but they were different from before. Instead of radiating throughout her body like ripples in a pond, these were more like someone letting out on the clutch of a car too quickly. With each stop and start movement I could feel them beginning to intensify. Just as I thought they were about to break, Angie mumbled her only recognizable words.

"Oh gawd," she whimpered, then went rigid.

Up to this point, I hadn't done much but sit back and enjoy. I'd helped her keep her rhythm by thrusting at the most logical times. Now, I reached and clasped her hips on both sides in my own vice-like grip. I maintained our rhythm by thrusting as deep as I could like a piston. It only took a half-dozen or so strokes before she came. Its intensity actually scared me.

I felt like my cock had been immersed in a scalding hot bath as she exploded inside. The tremors before were now like a full-blown earthquake as she literally shook with each convulsion. Between her death-like grip, the searing heat of her juices and the sheer intimacy of the moment, I only lasted a few more strokes.

I didn't have much fluid left in me, but what was there streamed out like air rushing through a pinhole in a balloon. Angie kept squeezing me until I was sure I was headed for dehydration.

When it was over, Angie sat motionless on top of me. Her features were frozen as she outlasted the small aftershocks of our coupling. I felt her begin to tremble before I heard the first sob. She quickly leaned over, crushed her breasts and face into my chest and clung tightly to me. I could feel the dampness of her tears as they dripped onto my chest.

There are many reactions a woman can have after making love, but crying has to be one of the most confusing to a man. He wonders if he's somehow hurt her, even though he knows it wasn't his sexual prowess regardless of how big she told him he was. Perhaps their coupling had reminded her of something sad or bad from her past. Worse, she might be crying because he's disappointed her or she regrets having given herself to him. All-in-all, it's a reaction which baffles most men, since they simply don't know what to do next. Should they comfort or apologize?

Those were my thoughts until Angie reached up and stroked the side of my face gently. She smiled weakly at my concern.

"Thank you, Tommy Boy," she cooed, "I haven't let myself go like that in a very, very long time."

She nuzzled back into my chest as I wrapped my arms around her. Soon I could hear her heavy breathing as she slept in my embrace.

Damn, I thought to myself, maybe being so pathetically safe isn't such a bad thing.

I'm not sure how quickly I fell asleep, but when I woke up the next morning, she was gone. I knew things would be different, but I wasn't sure how much.

It didn't take long to figure it out.

****

The next several days were beyond awkward. I tried to talk to Angie several times but she stonewalled me. When we finally did talk, it was obvious all her defenses were up. I thanked her again for that night but told her I wouldn't bring it up again. She looked relieved.

I got to see her and Erica a couple of times over the next two weeks, and it appeared things had gone back to the way our relationship had been before the Fourth of July. I won't say I was happy about it but it wasn't completely unexpected, either.

I resigned myself to the fact this was how things between Angie and I would be, friends, but that was all. That night was special, but she could have her choice of most men. Why would she pick me? I'd already chastised myself several times, reminding myself I knew I was the one who'd get hurt if we went too far. It didn't help.

Several weeks passed, then something changed. I had a knock at my door. Opening it, I was surprised to see a visibly upset Angie. She'd obviously been crying, so I quickly ushered her in.

"Angie, what's wrong? Is Erica okay?"

"What? No, no, she's fine," Angie replied quickly. "Tommy Boy, I need to ask a favor."

"You know I'll try to help if I can."

She looked very uncomfortable, and it was obvious she was struggling with something.

"Tommy Boy, I know this is unfair of me to ask," she said softly, "but would you hold me tonight?"

"Angie..."

"Just hold me as a friend," she interrupted, and looked up at me with tears in her eyes. "Please?"

A beautiful woman crying and asking to be held? Of course I gave in.

I took her over to the couch and held her. She buried her head into my chest and cried. I wrapped my arms around her and gently stroked her hair until she settled down.

"Now," I said gently, "you want to tell me what this is all about?"

She was silent for a minute before she turned her head and laid it on my chest again.

"Eric called," she whispered.

I quietly let her gather her thoughts. She shuddered, then continued.

"He said he was moving back to Brownwood and wanted to be a part of Erica's life again. That son-of-a-bitch bails on us for three years and NOW he wants to be a part of her life? Bullshit!"

She buried her face in my chest and wept. I stroked her hair for several minutes until she calmed down.

"You could always talk to a lawyer," I said gently.

"I can't do that," she mumbled shaking her head, "I could never stop a parent from trying to be a part of their child's life unless they were an addict or physically dangerous. I wouldn't do that simply because the parent was a selfish asshole!

"No, Eric knows I won't keep him completely away from Erica. I'll bet he even planned on it. He knows I'll protect her, but I won't stop him from trying to be her father. I couldn't do that to Erica. I couldn't stand to face her when she's older and asks me why I kept her father away.

"Dammit!" she cried. "It's so unfair. Why did he have to come back now, now that things were changing?"

"How are things changing?" I asked, softly hoping against hope I was a part of that change.

She sat back and looked up into my eyes.

"I'm sorry, Angie, but I'm not sure what our relationship is exactly right now."

She sighed and nodded.

"I know, and I'm sorry I've been such a cold fish lately. That night... that night was more than I'd expected. I knew the stripping would be exciting and it was, as was the first time we had sex in the living room. The other times right after were fun and very fulfilling, as well. Truthfully, though, I expected it would be.

"It was the intimacy afterwards and that I would tell you those things that surprised me. Tommy Boy, other than Eric, Mrs. Harper is the only person I've ever spoken to about my past here in Brownwood. That night I felt so at peace, so safe, that I shared those things. Then when I woke you up..."

Angie surprised me when she actually blushed slightly. She stared into my eyes and I could see the hurricane of emotions swirling in them.

"That was something I hadn't done in a long time. Not since the first year with Jimmy. To be honest, Tommy Boy, it scared the hell out of me. I knew I was blurring the lines, but I didn't realize how badly.

"You said you didn't know what our relationship was now. I wish I could tell you, but I don't know either. I know I love you as a friend, but could we try being friends with benefits? I'm not sure you could handle it without wanting more. To be honest, I'm not sure I could handle it, either. That night changed things, but I don't know exactly how just yet.

"Then Eric calls and all those emotions are added to our current mess. I don't know all the feelings I have towards Eric now. I obviously loved him, since I married him, but he shit on Erica and me and now those feelings have changed. I'm scared, Tommy Boy. What if when I see him I find out that I still care for him? How do I deal with that, since he abandoned us once before?

"I'm sorry, Tommy Boy. I'm an emotional basket case. I'm trying to be strong and protect Erica and myself, but I'm failing. I need a place to think, a place where I feel protected. I know it's unfair to you, asking you to fill that role without knowing where you stand. I'm ashamed, but that's where I am right now."

I looked at her and sighed softly. I opened my arms and she flew back into them. I held her as she softly cried. I swallowed my thoughts of how good she felt in my arms, how warm her breasts were, how soft her skin was. I fought back my desire to love this woman with everything I had. I fought to be... safe.

****

It was bound to happen sooner or later. Brownwood isn't that big, and I still went to MS Fit three or four times a week. It wasn't a surprise when I ran into Eric at the gym. What did surprise me was his appearance. Damn, he looked like a Greek god!

If I'd been insecure about being with Angie before, now I was doubly so. How could I've believed I could compete with guys like Daniel Pickering or this walking romance novel cover? If they weren't rich and powerful, they were damn male models!

Reality has a way of raining on our dreams, and I was experiencing a downpour. That's my excuse for acting like an ass. My other excuse was that Eric Myles just seemed to bring that particular trait out in me.

He was standing over by the free weights with an audience. There were several guys around him, with more than a few women looking longingly over at them, fantasizing. The pheromone level in the room was off the scale. I recognized a couple of guys, and immediately knew I should head in the other direction. I saw Rob Sutherland and Marcus Dixon standing there laughing at something Eric had said. I hadn't seen them at the gym before, but I'd heard they'd been regulars when Eric was there last. I guess his return must've sparked their interest in MS Fit again.

I knew the very day Eric arrived back in Brownwood. Angie was over at my apartment that very evening and in my arms. Her ex-husband's return had really shaken her. Her usual hard-shelled demeanor had been replaced by a surprisingly scared young woman.

Over the next few weeks, Eric had spent some time with Erica. Angie said it was obvious Eric had ulterior motives besides becoming a part of his daughter's life again. She said he'd been very contrite and apologetic for his actions. He asked her to forgive him every time he came over to be with Erica.

One evening while I was holding Angie, I asked her if she was considering going back to him. She thought for a moment before replying no, but she'd been surprised by the feelings she still had for him. After my encounter with Leah last Christmas, I could easily relate.

I basically held her and reassured her everything would be okay. I was a friend, a port in the storm, a refuge where she could go and feel safe. In some ways, I was honored, but in others, it was sheer torture. I held a beautiful woman, but couldn't kiss or caress her without destroying her sanctuary. In short, it sucked.

It was that emotional whirlwind that was going on in my head when I heard the voice.

"Tommy Boy!"

Shit! Brandon.

"Tommy Boy, come over here!"

I turned and saw the grinning face of my friend. We'd never been really close after the Angie episode, but we'd remained friends. His smile was genuine since he had no idea Sutherland and Dixon had probably played a part in the failure of my marriage.

I walked over to them and noticed very different reactions on each of their faces. Rob had a smug, sarcastic grin, while Marcus coolly stared at me, making sure I wasn't a threat. Eric had a condescending smirk as he sized me up. I fought to control my thoughts as I sensed a probable confrontation.

"Hey, Tommy Boy," Brandon chattered. "This is Eric Myles. He used to own MS Fit."

"Yeah," I said calmly, "so I've heard."

"So you're the infamous Tommy Bear my daughter can't stop talking about."

"She's a special little girl," I replied.

"Yeah she is," he said grinning. "She comes from good stock."

"Yeah, Angie is pretty special as well."

"Well, yes," he laughed, "but I was talking about her daddy. Oh, the brood mare is important but it's the stud that makes a winner!"

His macho response got a smattering of chuckles. I could tell he saw he'd struck a nerve with me when he grinned evilly. I felt that old controlled rage creeping up the back of my skull.

I knew any altercation would not end well for me. Even if I won the battle, I'd lose the war. Any arrest and conviction would kill my employment at SNS. Besides the bad PR, they tended not to let felons around the security sensitive data of some of our customers.