"Peter do you have a bucket list? You will make it. They caught your cancer early. But is there anything you really desire? We can't go on vacation because of the treatment expenses. Yet I'll do anything you want. Just ask me."
"Rosie I'm happy just being here with you."
"Peter you're holding something back. I can hear it in your voice."
"Oh honey, every man has dreams. You're probably feeling that from me."
"You're hiding something. But I'm hungry. Peter. I don't feel like cooking lunch. Take me out to McDonalds."
"But I'm still in my PJs."
"No one will notice."
"You take the keys, Rosie. My heart is beating a mile a minute. I think you better drive."
"It will be my pleasure. I'll even open the door for you when we arrive. Your masculinity won't be trespassed by a woman opening the door for you? Will it?"
"Of course not. I grew up opening doors for women. But I am open to role reversal. And not just with door opening."
"Oh, you tease. You want to role play in bed. Don't you? You want me to be dominant for a change. Well, I'd love too! Why didn't you ask before?"
"There's more, but I can't ask you to do it."
"Peter it's me your wife. You can ask me to do anything."
"My fantasy is to be treated harshly by you."
"Peter I can be rough with you."
"But would I be doing right by you?"
"Actually I feel empowered by the prospect of taking a dominant role with you. We've hardly talked about my needs as a woman. This has been on my mind a lot lately. Turning the tables would be good for both of us."
"I guess I didn't know how you'd take it. But now your man is feeling beside himself with joy. I can't wait to get home."
"Fuck McDonalds. We'll have peanut butter and jelly. Let's do the dominatrix tango. Oh, I am so ready for this. The bed awaits. I've never felt this liberated before. This is way better than a happy meal."
He gazes into my steely black eyes. I escort him down the hall and usher him into our bedroom. My hair is soaked in pheromone passion, the essence of female aggression.
"Peter, why are you wearing pajamas in the afternoon? You are not to wear sleep clothing during the day."
"I feel more comfortable in them. You said I was too tense and to get more relaxed."
"Can't you chill like most people do? Take a long walk. You need the aerobic exercise."
"But pants are so restricting."
"There is a reason for that. What if my friend Ruby came over to visit? If you got a hardon, it would make a tent pole in those flimsy things. Imagine my embarrassment. Of course, she wouldn't say anything. But I would be mortified. As should you."
"But honey I can control my erections."
"Like hell you can. Just the sight of Ruby would get you hard. You've gotten a bulge in your britches just seeing a girl in the Mall. Why if Ruby were wearing her Chanel No. 5 you'd bust a zipper."
"Do you think my dick is a heat-seeking missile looking for a woman?"
"Peter your eyes took a stroll all over Ruby last time she was here. And don't think I didn't notice your focus."
"Come on honey. I've never strayed. My peepers may poke around but my pecker stays where it belongs."
"Peter you're debating me. Right now you're not in a position to talk back to me. I'm the head honcho. The more you flap your gums the worse it will be for you."
"Honey, you can't hold it against me that my baby blues wander into forbidden places. That's called being a man."
"That's enough sass from you. Now I'm going to stand behind you. Hold on to the chair and stick your butt out."
I grasp the waist of Peter's PJ bottoms and slip them down baring his derriere. I slap his bottom with the fury of a wild cat subduing her prey.
"Now Peter your buttocks are all red. I hope it stings really bad; Because I truly enjoyed teaching you your lesson."
"Please don't look at my front. I'm afraid you might spank me again."
"My my. You have a dong the size of a Baboon's. I'll just tuck that back into your undies. Are we comfy?" Peter nods.
"Now sit. You're squirming. Would you like some aloe lotion on your behind? Let's drop those bottoms again. Bend over the chair sweetie."
"Ms. Rosie my words weren't true. My penis is out of control."
"Of course your dick needs a good work out so it can relax. Now follow me to the living room. You like the view from behind me don't you? Well, I'm going to sit my bubble butt on the sofa. You get your hunky self across my lap.
Oh, your derriere is hot. Do you like it when I caress it just so with my hand? Oops, there goes your pajama bottom. And off with the undies. Patty cake, patty cake. I do declare. You're swelling like a ripe yam against my thigh. You'd come in my lap if I spanked you."
"Can't we just make love? I'm having second thoughts about this kinky stuff. I'm an old fashioned guy. Besides, I'm too old for that."
"Sugar plum, you're never too old in my book. You're fussing like a girl who broke her fingernail. Do you want a ruler or my hand?"
"Come on pumpkin; spare this old gentleman."
"You aren't squirming your way out of this. I'm going to paddle your butt. Ready or not here we go! You like the way my hand stings so sweetly. Your ass cheeks are blushing like ripe peaches. You're humping like a pro."
"This is more fun than Dungeons and Dragons"
"I know my man. I'm your Dungeon Master. In our game world, women rule. Men are slaves for breeding. God your prick is granite on my thigh. There should be a replica carved into Mount Rushmore. It's that majestic!"
"You've made me into a monument honey. God my balls are like tiny suns igniting. They expand into gigantic fireballs of pure pleasure. My balls are about to explode. They are shrinking into me. Holy Bull's-eye Batgirl! Oui, oui, OUIIII!"
"Our Batman episode is unfit for television. This is the secret sex life of Batgirl and Robin. Oh, yea. Thar she blows! Now wasn't that hot and spicy?"
"Honey, that was better than enchiladas with picante sauce."
"I take pride in my work. Sit up you scalawag. How did you feel when I paddled your butt?"
"Rosie I felt like an apple in a barrel with you bobbing for me. But I'm the only apple in your barrel honey."
"I didn't hurt you did I?"
"No. This was better than Jamaica."
"I can see how much you enjoyed it. You're still at half-mast."
"A cold shower is in order."
"Oh, I like it that way. It looks cute."
"I didn't think about the cancer the entire time."
"Honey, you won't die of cancer. I'll stuff you so full of antioxidants and health foods you'll live to be a hundred. I can bring home the tofu and sautée it up in a wok but you're the man of the house."
"Darling, we went on vacation without leaving the house. It felt like crossing a border into another country."
"Love knows no boundaries."