Butterfly

A/N: For all my struggling trans girls, I wrote this one for you. Keep on keepin' on, I believe in you!

***

Waking up in the morning was the worst.

Carla had known better than to take morning classes- this was her third year now, she was too mature for rookie mistakes like that- but fuck, she was not a morning person. Even though it couldn't have been much more than nine in the morning, she opened her eyes and winced before closing them again and sighing.

Behind her, a body stirred, pressed its breasts against her back. "Carla, babe. You have to wake up."

"It's not until one," Carla protested, shaking her head but not opening her eyes. "Let me sleep."

The woman gave a quiet chuckle, and Carla was more awake than ever before- she knew what that laugh meant. It meant trouble.

Under the covers, an adventurous hand snaked across her waist and into her panties, freeing Carla's girlcock and slowly stroking it. Giving a quiet grasp, one of Carla's hands gripped at the sheet, the other clawed into the mattress. "Come on, Janie," Carla pleaded, looking down at her hard-on pressing against the blanket. "I have to get ready-"

"Oh? But I thought you wanted to sleep?" Janie's voice was as innocent as a virgin, even as her hand stroked up and down Carla's cock.

Handjobs were Carla's weakness. As much as she loved fucking Janie's pussy(and having Janie fuck her ass in return), Carla was a slut for handjobs. Janie knew that she could wrap her hands around Carla's dick, look right at her with those big blue eyes, and make her do whatever the hell she wanted- it was a power she abused, and often so.

"Faster," Carla breathed, shuddering at the sensation between her legs. "Please."

"Oh, but you need to sleep, darling." Janie's voice was like velvet as it cooed into her lover's ear,gripping tightly as she picked up the pace.

"Janie, please."

"Please what?"

Carla bit her lip, raising her voice. "Please stroke my cock faster, Janie!"

There was that chuckle again, and soon Carla's moaning filled the room as Janie's hand rocked her throbbing erection. "You like it when I stroke you like this, dont you? When I grab your cock and make you my toy?"

Carla nodded vigorously, gasping as she cried out, "Yes, Janie!"

That confirmation emboldened Janie's efforts, she pressed her lips to Carla's neck and nibbled at her lover's flesh while her fingers held firm to the woman's dick. Soon, Carla's body began to shiver as her orgasm threatened to finally overtake her.

"Janie, I'm so close, please don't stop-"

"Go ahead, baby." Her voice had dropped to a whisper, just low enough that Carla could hear. "Come for me, 'please'."

Carla's body obliged, and she cried obscenities as warm streams of jizz exploded from her cock, staining both their carpet and the bedsheets they laid upon with thick ropes. Janie continued her pace even as Carla's orgasm subsided, sliding her other arm under the woman's body and pulling her close.

The now-spent trans woman was breathing heavily, eying her reflection in the full body mirror they kept by the door. In the early morning light, she almost found herself pretty..but she lingered on little imperfections. The acne on her face. Her eyebrows growing back in. She was pretty, but also tired, and not just physically.

"Hell of a way to start the day, yeah?" Janie quipped, sitting up so that she could kiss Carla on the cheek. When she didn't respond, the older woman nudged her young girlfriend's thigh with her leg. "Carla? You listening?"

"Shit, sorry." She turned to face Janie and sighed, nuzzling against her chest. "I just keep looking at myself. Even after the make up, even after my estrogen..."

Her voice was dejected. "I feel like I could.. like I should be doing so much more."

Janie frowned. They had this conversation before. It wouldn't be the last. She squeezed Carla in her arms and gently kissed her forehead. "Babe, I love *you*, regardless of how girly you appear to be. You could grow a beard and never wear make up again, and you would 'still' be all the woman I needed, understand?"

Carla was silent for a moment, but nodded her agreement. "...I told you 'thank you' before, didn't I?"

"Depends," Janie grinned. "Thank you for the speech, the love and affection, or the orgasm?"

That finally broke Carla's mood, and she laughed happily. "All three. Now let me go, so I can take a shower. And maybe clean up the mess I made."

Janie relented, though she gave Carla a small pat of her butt as she climbed out of bed, snuggling herself back under the covers and yawning. "Have I told you how much I love your butt, Carla?"

"Every time I turn around. Or bend over. Or when you're inside it. Sometimes all three at the same time-"

The sound of light snoring cut her off. Janie had already fallen back asleep, comfortably curled up in the middle of the bed. Carla smiled and whispered- more for herself than her sleeping girlfriend- "I love you, Jeanine."

***

Carla and Jeanine- Janie to her friends-had met before Carla transitioned, though a mutual video game they played with some friends. They grew closer even as their mutual friends dropped the game altogether, either playing the game or relaxing in Skype calls, which then became Discord calls, before finally sitting up all night on the phone, something Carla hadn't done with anyone since high school.

She was halfway through her freshman year of college when she came out to her close friends- though Janie *swore* she had always known, even before they began dating. "It sounds bad, but I felt you were trying to be who we wanted you to be." She would explain several months later, after Carla's parents disowned her and left the young, unemployed trans girl on her own. "I look at you now- the way you smile, the way you carry yourself- and I see the true you. This is who you were meant to be."

Carla had moved in with Janie shortly after, packing what little she owned and moved across the country to be with her, and she was glad she did, finally finding enough mental peace to find herself. Janie helped her find a Doctor, did her make-up, and generally supported her however she could, for which Carla was eternally grateful.

But there was that creeping voice again: 'I could be doing so much more.'

The commotion of class ending woke her from her stupor, and she lazily packed up her things before exiting. With no further plans for the day, she considered going to the gym, maybe getting some coffee first...

Oh, who was she kidding? She just wanted to get home and get close to Janie again. Anything else she just didn't have the spoons for.

On cue, her phone vibrated in her jacket pocket, and she paused outside the doorway to read it:

*Hey, come home soon. There's a storm coming. Not to mention a small surprise waiting for you :-)*

Carla tilted her head, even as her curiosity was peaked. Janie was very spontaneous with these kinds of things, especially if it was for Carla's sake- sometimes it meant going to the beach to catch the sunset, and other times it meant laying outside on the roof of their car to watch the stars. All of these were things that should have made Carla tingle with excitement, but...most of the time, it made her think Janie deserved someone better. Someone who actually looked good in makeup and wouldn't draw weird looks when they held hands, a real g-

She shook the thoughts away and took the steps two at a time. The faster she got home, the faster she could distract herself from these horrid worries.

***

With a little bit of luck, Carla had gotten back to their apartment before the worst of the thunderstorm had come to pass. She wasn't soaked, but she was certainly looking forward to getting out of her clothes. "Jeanine?" She called out as she turned her key and opened the door. "I don't think we're going anywhere in this weather-"

Her breath caught in her throat, and she actually gasped in surprise. The living room was strewn with candles, each with a delightful spring aroma. The dark blue loveseat that typically faced the television now faced another door that lead to the balcony, a clear sliding door that was now being peppered with rain drops. It was beautifully peaceful, and Carla loved it.

"Janie, what's all this for-" She didn't get to finish as the woman came around the corner, kissing Carla and the lips and holding her close. Without spoiling the moment with any worthless talk, Janie pulled away and led her girlfriend to the couch, holding her close as they watched the rain lightly tap against the balcony door.

In the comfortable quiet, Carla's only thoughts for a while were 'nothing feels better than this.' This moment, where they could be together; a *part* even when they were apart, was why she knew she was happy. Yes, she was imperfect. Yes, this was her life, an endless staircase for the rest of her life but...she could do this.

It would be difficult, but she could do it.

That confidence was her own, but the feeling of Janie holding her close while Carla nestled her head against her breasts kept her sane all the while. Her Dysohoria was kept at bay, for now, so she savored the happiness while she had it. "Janie." Carla's voice was flat, more interested in the rain than idle chatter. "Why did you do this?"

Janie smiled, but did not answer right away. After a minute or two, she whispered. "It's been three years now, hun. I'm much better at recognizing the signals of your dysphoria when they pop up." Reaching over to stroke Carla's hair with her index finger, she continued, "I wanted to do something for you, something more than just words. So I decided to take

what you love- rainy days- and give you a positive memory to go along with it, and hopefully make you feel a little better. And I meant what I said, by the way."

She leaned down, kissing Carla on her forehead. "You are perfect for me from top to bottom. And you'll only get better the longer time goes. I love you passing or not, Carla Maria, because of you."

Carla didn't respond- nothing she said could have improved that moment. So instead, feeling happy with herself for the first time in weeks, she reached up kissed Janie firmly on the lips.

It was romantic at first, the happy ending to their Hallmark moment. Then Carla lead with her tongue, pushing past Janie's mouth. Soon the rain with mixed the sound of their wet makeout session, both women too distracted to stop now. Jeanine's hands were undoing the button that held Carla's Jean's in place a minute or two later, slowly pulling out Carla's cock and rubbing her hands along it.

Carla's breathing became labored, moaning deeply into the mouth of her lover. The feeling was divine, and Carla knew that she wouldn't last long if Jeanine kept going. So she pulled her lips away for a moment and whispered, "Wait. Not yet." While Janie offered nothing more than a puzzled look, she didn't resist when Carla took both of her hands and pulled her to her feet, walking hand and hand towards the glass door and the budding raindrops.

"Got a surprise for me as well?" Janie whispered with a husky tone, and her lover nodded, undoing the robe that kept her decent. It fell to the floor and left Janie nude, who offered no resistance other than a quiet gasp as Carla pushed her body against the cold glass.

Bathed in the grey light of the rainstorm, Carla took her time- she started at the full lips that could smirk and suck her dry in the same breath; then the soft, round breasts, where Carla took turns on each, sucking on the nipple of one while kneading the flesh of the other; the flat belly where Carla dragged her tongue further downward, the alabaster skin tone contrasting her copper; and finally, at the now-dripping center of her shaved honeypot, lips swollen and begging to be touched.

She was gentle at first, lapping at the slit as Janie wrapped her hands around Carla's hair. But soon, as Janie rested one of her legs on the woman's shoulders and begin to arch her back, the once shy and reserved trans woman clamped her mouth around Janie's pussy and begin to eat it with starving vigor. The passionate sounds of her mouth filled the room as her tongue both teased the clit and fucked her tight hole.

Janie now had both hands pressed against Carla's scalp, pushing her hips against her mouth in a lustful attempt to cum faster. The sound of rain beating into the glass door did little to overtake her pleasured gasps filling the small apartment. Carla did not let up her efforts- not when Janie began begging for her release, and not when that release finally overtook her, arching her back and cumming so forcefully that she had to grab at the door to steady herself until it subsided. No, not until the frenzied gasps became tired breathing did Carla rise to her feet and press their lips together in a moment of quiet passion.

"Fuck me." Janie pulled her lips away for just a moment to whisper those words, lowering her mouth to nibble at Carla's neck. It hadn't been a request, it had been a command. Pulling herself away, Janie offered a final kiss before turning her body around, pressing her nipples against the glass and sticking out her round butt, pushing it against Carla's crotch. It swiped back and forth along the trans woman's dick, and Carla was already quivering with anticipation as she undid her jeans and let them fall to the floor.

They both inhaled sharply when Carla penetrated her lover's warm cunt. The desire to fill Janie was maddening, and it overtook Carla's mind as she fucked her lover's tight pussy, both hands gripping the woman's ass as she worked. The sight of her ass bouncing against Carla's cock nearly made her cum quickly- it was what she fantasized the most about, after all- but she held herself back yet kept her pace, raising her hand and bringing it down sharply without missing a beat.

Sliding one of her own hands under her shirt, Carla roughly fondled her breast as she fucked Janie against the window to the sound of the rainfall. Increasing her pace, the sound of her balls slapping against Janie's ass only made her more aggressive, more needy. Not since the first night they fucked, where Janie had straddled her and rode her through the night did Carla feel an orgasm of this caliber building inside of her. "Baby," Her tone was breathless, ragged, even as one hand still firmly gripped Janie's ass as she fucked her for dear life. "Baby, I'm coming, I'm coming!"

She had been nothing less than truthful; with a final push, Carla drove herself in to the hilt and came inside Janie with a long, breathy sigh. Her lover responded in kind, tossing her head back and giving a last, beautiful gasp as she came as well, legs quivering as she held on to the glass for dear life.

As soon as they both came down, Carla slowly pulled herself out and they slid to the floor, Carla's tits pressed against Janie's back as they watched the rain. Breathing heavily, Janie whispered, "You really know how to use that thing, you know that?"

Carla chuckled quietly, wrapping her arms around Janie's waist. "Lots of practice with a certain someone."

"Mm, is she pretty?"

"She's an eight, on a good day."

Janie gave a very unamused "Hmph!", but turned around to place her hand on Carla's cheek. "She's the luckiest woman in the world, I think." Leaning forward, they kissed for a fraction of a second before a clap of thunder made them both jump in surprise. After realizing what happened, they looked at each other and immediately burst into laughter.

"You know what?" Carla opined, holding Janie's hand as they turned back to the rainy window. "Dysphoria is scary, but the thunder is a close second."