Buzzwords

byBarnaby©

My mind had completely drifted away into another time…another place. The rushing water of my bathroom shower had become the gentle roar of a warm, tropical waterfall as it cascaded over the side of a majestic cliff. The humidity permeating the large walk-in stall was now the morning mist of the islands and I…? I was the white goddess, bathing imperially beneath the rocks where my handsome, young native lover watched my every move worshipfully. As the water washed over me, I heard a quiet singing in my head. It was my lover’s hand I felt now (not mine!), gently, rhythmically rubbing between my moist steamy thighs, his other hand reaching up slowly to caress my bosom, tickling the hard nipple just about…(ring, ring!) just exactly…the way I…(ring, ring!)…

“Damn, damn, damn!!!”, I cursed out loud as I realized the quiet singing I had heard was not just the background music to my fantasy but the ringing of the cell phone I had thoughtlessly left on the edge of the sink. Knowing the moment was lost, I stepped drippingly out of the shower to see who it was I had to kill for ruining my flight of fancy.

“Hello! ,” I answered dejectedly.

“Have you ever had anal sex?", was the brusque reply.

Stunned and angry, I clicked off suddenly, wishing there were some way to slam a cell phone. It immediately rang again but this time I was ready. “ Now look here, you pervert,” I snarled, “can’t you think of anything…”

“Excuse me,” interrupted the same voice, now sounding confused. “Is this Shannon Ferris?”

I paused before murmuring a quiet “yes”.

“This is Mitchell Grant. Did I catch you at a bad time?” Mitchell Grant, the reclusive, eccentric author? I was Mitchell Grant’s new editor at Siegel and Simon Publishers. Mitchell’s first, and to date only, book, KING OF THE TROUBLE SPOTS, had won several prestigious literary awards a decade ago but his follow-up had been plagued by what appeared to be terminal writers’ block.

“Mitchell, I was assigned as your editor three days ago but we haven’t even met yet and you’re making obscene phone calls to me?”

“Well, you see, Susan—that’s my heroine—has just left the summer camp where she’s been working with her boyfriend because he’s been pressuring her about having anal sex. Ultimately, she decides to go through with it.” Still naked and dripping, I stood admiring my own body’s reflection in the full-length mirror across from the sink. My breasts seemed to shine. So what if they were thirtysomething and pointing in different directions, they weren’t bad. “ Hello! Shannon? You still there?”

“I’m sorry, Mitchell. Tell me your problem.”

“Well basically, I’m having a real tough time writing this sex scene between Susan and Troy and I was hoping you could help me. I want it to be erotic but it also needs to be realistic. It’s also a very important scene when it comes to describing her motivation for what happens later.

Here, I’ll read you what I’ve got: She bent over the sink, wiggling her butt up at Troy. ‘Go ahead, then. I’m ready. Do it.’ she said with an oddly innocent resignation. He had long decided that this favorite fantasy would never occur and yet here was the girl he loved, spreading her cheeks in front of him. He reached under her and fingered the little man in her boat, using her copious flow to wet her delicate brown eye. He rubbed the juicy finger over the oh so inviting rosebud before him and gently slipped it in, then another, then eventually a third, loosening her up considerably. Finally, he put the head of his cock, now fatter than ever before, right up to her heinie!’”

“ Heinie? Heinie!!?” I was incredulous and began laughing uproariously. “And ‘little man in her boat?”’ Ha, Ha, Ha.

“’Little man in the boat’ is an expression referring to….” he began.

“Oh, I know what it refers to”, I laughed, “but no one, NO ONE has ever used that expression in real life because it sounds stupid! It’s like something out of PENTHOUSE LETTERS! Look, they’re young, they’re in love and she’s reluctantly giving in to what she considers his perverted sexual desires. Obviously, you want this scene to be hot but if it generates laughs, you’ve lost your reader. Why don’t you…?” CLICK!

“Hello? …Mitchell?” He had hung up. I didn’t have his number to call him back so I shrugged, picked up a towel and dried myself off. “Heinie”, I chuckled. Still, it was kind of hot. I thought of Susan giving in to her boyfriend as I moved into my bedroom. I went straight to my dresser drawer and took out my little silver vibrator. Then, I lay down on the still-made bed, my legs spread out in front of me and my own lightly fuzzed pussy still quite wet and ready. I clicked on the vibrator and closed my eyes as I ran the softly buzzing instrument across my skin on the way down to my aromatic, dripping crotch.

“You’re not hurting me”, said Susan in my mind. “Keep going!” It was still too tight to fit in as Troy rubbed his thick dick into her cheeks. He grabbed some lube and poured it all down her crack and his cock until it dripped all over the floor .He pushed again and again without any real success. “You are NOT hurting me!,” snarled Susan through clenched teeth. “Fuck my ASS!” She had gone from resignation to lust! Her fingers were going a mile a minute in her pussy, diddling her clit back and forth. Finally, in supreme frustration, and desperate to fuck something, Troy moved his dick down just a bit to the sticky, hairy entrance to her cunt and unexpectedly pushed, hard and deep. In the mirror, he could see her eyes pop when she realized what he had just done.

Oh, yes, this fantasy was working well for me. My vibrator buzzed back and forth in my hand as I ran it from my own clit to my asshole. The thought of Susan’s pussy being fucked so hard (no, my pussy!, MY pussy!!), kept me going. As I nursed my clit roughly but lovingly toward a massive cum, I could feel my entire body start to tingle. Oh, I wish I had Troy’s thick meat inside….(ring, ring!) Goosebumps covered my skin. A great wet spot was forming on my bed and my hips were starting to shake and buckle and…(ring, ring!) I was…. allllmmmooosssttttt…..(ring, ring!)

“WHAT? , WHAT? , WHAT?!!” I yelled into the phone when I picked it up off the dresser. “Jeez, you need to work on your telephone ettiquette, Shannon. Look, I’m sorry I hung up before. I’ve gone back to an earlier draft , a different sex scene. This one’s a whole different version .Let me try it out on you, okay?”

I sighed heavily but decided to work with what I had. “Sure”, I said, “but let me plug my cell into my speaker phone first, alright?” I fumbled with setting that up and then plopped myself back into bed, spread-eagled and ready, with my trusty vibrator at the still-sticky starting gate. “Ready!”, I shouted toward the phone. Suddenly his disembodied voice filled the dimly lit room.

“Okay, now this version actually has them at a much earlier state of their relationship. They’ve been working together all summer at the camp but, despite an obvious sexual attraction , nothing has happened…until now. Ready? Here goes:

Troy sat down on the bench next to Susan. He could tell she’d been crying again. ‘Hey, you wanna talk?’

‘No’, she sobbed lightly, wiping at her face with her arm. There’s nothing anyone can do.’

Troy tentatively reached out and put his arms around her, pulling her to him and feeling the roundness of her young breasts flattening against his chest for the first time. ‘You know’, he whispered with a slight choke in his voice, ‘sometimes two friends alone together late at night can be a comfort to one another.’ He searched the cabin with his ears and eyes to be certain that, in fact, they really were alone. ‘Sometimes….sometimes…’ he continued as he broke their clench. ‘…a friend can offer a gentle hand… in a most special place.’ As he went on, his own right hand had slid to her waist and beyond, softly rubbing the crotch of Susan’s shorts. It was an unexpected, but not unwelcome gesture’”

As Mitchell read, I had the vibrator on low, buzzing everywhere but my clit, waiting for it to get as hot as before. I was ready to explode all over my bed as Mitchell continued his phone sex, unaware.

“ In a moment, she had shifted positions to allow his hand access to her panties, aromatically soaked cotton. Two smooth fingers arched down past the waistband, squishing in the warm swampiness of her young womanhood. Her blue eyes met his, a little scared, a little trusting, asking questions that went unanswered for, as the two fingers slipped easily into her vagina, her eyes now closed and a low moan escaped her lips. ‘Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh…….. Troy, we can’t……’

‘Sshhhhhhh’, he cautioned. ‘ I can’t solve your problems but, just for tonight, let me make you feel good.’ He lightly brushed his lips across her neck and whispered in her ear ‘Let me make you cum.’

Susan nodded and managed to say ‘mmm-hmmm’, encouraging Troy. Her eyes looked huge as she almost unbelievingly watched him pull down her shorts, pull her now wringing wet panties aside and begin lovingly massaging her clit. She was nearly in a trance as her body’s tingles struggled to keep up with her friend’s fingers. They darted in and out of her tender, tight hole at a steady pace, squishing loudly in the night before always returning to the little bud at the top.

The aroma in the room was intoxicating to Troy. ‘You smell so good.’he panted. I have to taste you. He waited for permission, which came only in the form of Susan sliding her behind up just long enough to get her panties off. Troy took them from her hands and held them to his nose. ‘Perfection!’ he said, as he took a long deep whiff of her essence. He wasted no time in turning his attention to the real thing. ‘ Its so pretty’, he purred with admiration. ‘Like some kind of flower’.

‘Is it?’, inquired Susan. I always thought it was ugly and smelled bad.’

‘Oh my God, no….’, he said. ‘Right now, it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen! And the smell? Honey, it…it’s you! It’s hot, it’s sexy. It makes me want to eat your… Say, what do you call it?’

Despite sitting with her legs and her lower lips spread open before him, she suddenly grew shy. ‘ I call it my…, my….pussy.’ With a slow rising smile, she added, ‘Eat my pussy, Troy. Eat my PUSSY!’ It didn’t take much to get him to comply.”

Damn, Mitchell’s reading was good. We’d have to get him to do the book on tape. I’d buy a copy! My slippery finger had made it’s way into my asshole as my vibrator continued knocking at my front door. I wanted to hold off until Susan reached climax in the story but I didn’t know if I could. The combination of my own frustrated horniness and Mitchell’s hot reading was nearly overwhelming.

In a moment, though, the decision was taken out of my hands. “You know…”, Mitchell said as he dropped out of character, “By reading it out loud, even I can tell that the pacing is way too slow. I’ll get back to you later, Shannon. Thanks for listening” Then a loud, echoing click as he cut me off….again.

“Aaaaarrrggghhhh!!!!!!” Death would seem to be the prescribed punishment for giving me the female equivalent of blueballs. Well, there was no reason to assume he’d call back again. I’m responsible, as they said in the seventies, for my own orgasm. After all, he couldn’t possibly have realized that I was… (ring, ring!)The phone rang again, shattering the silence. This time I lunged for it. “Mitchell, do NOT hang up on me again!”

“Oh, sorry. Just some quick tightening up on that last part. It didn’t take long. Do you want me to start where I left off? How is it, by the way? What I’m trying for is, I guess, a delicate combination of hot, realistic and literary, but I’m afraid I don’t have that much experience and its not really the kind of thing one can research at the library.”

“Mitchell, I….It’s …well, why don’t you pick up where you left off? Then I’ll let you know what I think, okay?”

“Okay. Let’s see now…where was I?”

“HE WAS ABOUT TO EAT OUT HER FUCKING CUNT, YOU IDIOT!! HOW COULD YOU STOP JUST AS HE WAS ABOUT TO STICK HIS TONGUE UP HER PUSSY???!!!” That’s what I thought. What I said was “Oh, I believe they were about to have oral sex.”

“Oh, that’s right. Here we go: As she sat on the bench, Troy crawled between her legs. He stared admiringly a bit more, then delicately spread the slippery folds of her nether lips as if to make a path for his drooling tongue. Then he dived in. Wetness met wetness as Troy absolutely savored the special flavor of Susan’s sex, and Susan, in turn didn’t take long to flood his mouth with more of her juices. Her arms and legs began to literally shake and her thighs pressed in on his head, as if to keep him from stopping. She began to moan in a guttural monotone ‘Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”. Feeling adventurous and wanting nothing more than to please her as much as possible, Troy began rubbing her clit with his fingers as his tongue slipped down easily to her puckered asshole and began to kiss it. It was damp from her pussy juices and he wasted no time in sticking his long tongue up inside her dark hole and wiggling it around as well as he could. The combination of both of her holes being worshipped sent her over the edge. The pitch changed in her moan. ‘OOOOOOOOOoooooooooo!!! Oh!, Oh!, Ohhhh, YES!!! Ohhhhh!!!!! Unnnnnnnnn. Owwwww!!!Yes!!!!!’ As her breathing resumed normally, she reluctantly spread her sweaty, trembling thighs to let Troy up.

He stood uneasily and wiped Susan’s stickiness off his face with the back of his hand. He licked it and smiled a naughty smile. ‘Deee-licious!’ He was still fully dressed and the large bulge and accompanying wet spot on his shorts immediately attracted Susan’s attention.

‘What about…him?’, she asked as she pointed.

‘This was about me making you feel good. Not about him.’ He glanced downward as he said it.

‘Well, you made me feel real good. And now it would make me feel better to make you feel good. And…him’, she added innocently, her Southern accent showing more than usual. Her eyes stayed on ‘him’ the whole time. This was still the Susan he had admired all summer but there was something…wanton …about her now as she determinedly reached for his shorts and pulled down the zipper. His underwear was very wet from pre-come. As he stood, she just pulled them down to his ankles, freeing his cock. It was not the first she had ever seen but at this moment it was the most beautiful thing she could imagine, solid and angled nearly straight up, with beads of clear pre-come dripping from the tip and running down its length. She looked Troy straight in the eye and smiled a lusty smile as she used her tongue to lick the tip, kissing it gently then brazenly plunging her full lips over it.”

While Mitchell had been reading this last bit I just lay on the bed, eyes closed with him back on the speaker phone and Troy and Susan prancing through my mind. Realistic? Literary? I don’t know about that but hot? Damn! In a previous century, Mitchell Grant could have given Anonymous a run for his money as a pornographer! I had had to work my way back up after Mitchell’s earlier “Masturbatus Interruptus” but I was getting there. As Susan sucked Troy’s cock into her mouth, I started sucking on my little buzzy friend with three fingers in my snatch. Mitchell kept reading.

“All Susan could think about at this point was to please Troy; to make him come long and hard like he had done for her. It wasn’t like she had had a lot of experience with the male anatomy but what she was doing was certainly enough to make him feel fantastic. She licked her wet tongue around the sensitive head of his dick every time she stuck it back into her mouth. She wasn’t able to take him very deeply but he certainly didn’t care. When his eyes weren’t watching the amazing sight of this beautiful girl working between his legs, they were rolled up in his head in pleasure. The only sounds came from Susan’s lips smacking again and again, up and down on his rigid cock. After an entire season of sexual tension between them however, he knew he couldn’t last long. Instinctively, his left hand took its familiar place at the base of his pole, pumping the flesh toward her mouth. Her hands squeezed his ass cheeks as she kept up the pace. Time was rapidly running out to enjoy the sensations and Troy knew it. With a loud grunt, he warned ‘I’m gonna cum, baby!’ and then he did. She allowed the first blast into her mouth. It was hot, thick and salty, just like all the books said. It felt good sliding down her throat. She had to pull away from the rest, though, and Troy pumped it out all over her shirt, finally dribbling the last sticky white drops directly onto her tongue as she continued to kneel before him.”

That last bit did it. “Yes, Ohhhh, YES!!! UNGHHHHH….YESSSSSSSS!, Ohhhhhhhhhhh!!!”, I cried (in wild abandon).

The disembodied voice that had shepherded me though my sexual fantasies called out, a tad confused. “Hello, Shannon? Did I hear you say ‘yes’? Did I get it right that time? Shannon, are you listening to me? Did I make it real enough? Hot enough?”

All hot and sweaty, I leaped off the now soaking bed and grabbed the cell phone. “Uh….Mitchell. No,…I mean, uh…I think that was pretty…..I mean…it was still missing something, you know? But don’t worry, I’ve got some ideas that might help with your research. Tell you what…let’s see. What time is it, anyway?”

“Little after two AM. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize it was so late. I’ll call you tomorrow at the off…”

“NO! No. I mean. I’m gonna throw on some clothes and take a cab to your place. I think this problem requires more of a hands-on approach. I promise you one thing Mitchell. I’ll help you lick that thing of yours…. even if it takes all night!”

END

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