Caden's Tale Pt. 02

I sat back and listened to the cd I had of Angela's description of her infidelity. I listened to her confession and her explanation for the umpteenth time. I shut it off.

I'd loved her. I'd loved her with all my heart, but I knew. I guess I always knew. Angela needed more than I could give. It wasn't her fault, not really. It was me. It broke my heart. I was worthless. I just didn't measure up. No woman would want me; oh maybe for a while, but not for long. I looked in the mirror a hundred times. All I saw was failure. I might make a million, no a billion dollars, but no woman would ever want me. I mean want me! The real me! There'd be no little league, no Boy Scout camp outs, no little girls, no dance classes, no bedtime stories, no school plays. No loving wife. No nothing.

Word got out around the office. Of course they knew. I was the 'needle dick'. I was nobody; good for a job maybe, good when it came to accounts, but beyond that, good for nothing.

I found and rented a modest townhouse near the office, and pushed myself into my work. There wasn't anything else to do. Sure Angela called. She wanted to talk. She wanted to explain. She wanted to apologize. She wanted to get back. I knew though; it was a waste of time. I knew if we ever got back she'd be gone again, off with some guy with a real dick. No it was best I should just stay home.

It took me six months to get back to even being close to normal. Of course there weren't any women. Hell I couldn't even jerk off. Every time I looked down all I saw was failure. People tried to be nice to me, well at least a little bit.

I don't know why, but for Angela's sake I kept our club membership up. Some of my bosses belonged to the same club. In fact it had been one of my bosses who'd sponsored me. Every now and then someone would stop by my office, peek in and say something. I'd stopped using the club. I'd stopped playing golf, stopped the tennis, and quit using the pool. For sure it started to show. My once healthy thirty-three inch waist was starting to expand, and my once firm biceps and thighs were turning to mush.

People stopped in and I'd hear, "Hey I saw Angela at the club. She's still playing golf." Or I'd get, "Saw Angela at the Friday night dance. She was with so and so. She said to say hello. Said she misses you." Like I needed to hear any of that.

Then something unexpected happened.

Like I said it'd been six months. That's an eternity for someone when their life's been completely shattered, and they see no way forward. I guess that was me.

The office Christmas bash was just a week away. It would be at the club; the usual thing, a party for the thirty or so company people and their wives, but anybody else who belonged to the club could be there too. No way was I going. I didn't need the pain. Then from out of nowhere the resident office slut, Jeannie Dunlap stopped by.

She came in and sat down across from me in my office. "Mr. Meadows," she said, "I could use your help."

Rumor had it Jeannie had probably fucked every man and boy who'd ever worked in our office. She most likely had permanent carpet burns on her back from the many times she'd been shagged in the back meeting room. It was a wonder she hadn't either been fired or caught something. For all I knew she had AIDS or something.

I replied, "Sure what can I do?"

She sort of hesitated, and then asked, "My car's in the shop, and the office party's this Friday night. Nobody's going to ask me, and I'm a little afraid to try to hitch a ride. I'm something of the office pariah you know. I was wondering if maybe you'd let me go with you?"

I was stunned! This was the office whore, and she was asking me to take her to the big Christmas affair? It was just out of the question for me to be seen with a person like that. Jesus! The office party. At the club. Why my ex-wife, or soon to be ex-wife, might even be there. I replied as gently as I could, "Gee I'm sorry Ms. Dunlap, but I hadn't planned on going, and..."

Ms. Dunlap smiled and said, "I understand. No one wants to be seen with me. Most of the men around here would be scared to death if I even showed. They'd be afraid one of their wives might say something."

I nodded.

She went on, "I have an idea though. This is only Tuesday. The party isn't till Friday night. Perhaps we could do an early dinner. Someplace discreet, a place where you wouldn't be seen with me. We could talk. You might be surprised. You might even change your mind."

I thought, 'She thinks I'm stupid. She's coming on to me. Did she want to see just how small I actually was? That had to be it.' Then again I thought, 'I'd always liked her. Slut or not she'd always been polite and considerate, a good worker. I didn't think she ever missed any time. What did I have to lose?' I replied, "This is Tuesday. If you leave your address. Say maybe 5:00 p.m. I'll pick a place."

She smiled. She reached over, took a pen from the desk set Angela had given me, and wrote what I asked for on a piece of scrap paper. She handed it to me, then she said, "Casual?"

I said, "Yes, casual."

That little interlude happened just after 10:00 a.m. I had all the rest of the day to think and rethink what I'd committed myself to. After a little hemming and hawing I decided it wasn't a totally bad idea. I'd find a place way out of the way. It would just be she and I, no commitments, no chance of getting caught, and I hadn't been out in months. Maybe a little conversation wouldn't be such a bad idea?

There was a quiet little seafood place not far from where I lived when I was married. My ex-wife never liked it; said the prices were too high and the portions too small. It would be a Tuesday; hardly anyone went out to eat on a Tuesday. I made arrangements for a corner booth for 5:30.

I got to the address she indicated at 5:00 sharp. It was one of those typical garden apartments; three stories, open stairwell, large parking lot. As I pulled in I saw her; she was standing just inside the glass doorway. I pulled up, got out, walked around, and opened the passenger side door to my car.

She came down the steps. It was a cold evening for a Maryland December; she had on a dark brown wool overcoat. I noticed her hair was down; she usually kept it up in a bun or in a ponytail at work. The wind gusted up. She used her right hand to try to manage it, but her bright red locks fluttered about rebelliously. She slid in and I closed the door.

After I got around and in the driver's seat I said, "There's a seafood place not too far. It's called the Weathered Scupper. Seafood all right with you?"

She flashed me a brilliant smile. I'd never noticed before how white her teeth were. She was a tiny woman; she couldn't be more than 5'2". She had red hair, green eyes, and even in December her face was flush with freckles. I wondered if the hair was really red. I chuckled to myself; there was only one sure way to find out. Maybe I'd find out some day?

Her smile disappeared and she said, "Two things; I love seafood. I've been to the weathered Scupper and I love their stuffed flounder, but don't you think it's a little pricey?"

I nodded, "It is a little costly, but I like their salmon. You said two things?"

With a straight, and I realized serious face she replied, "I saw the 'look'. Believe me I'm not as fast as you might have heard. I might even have a bottle of wine cooling in my refrigerator right now, but first base is all you'll get tonight, and first base with me is a polite handshake."

I smiled then, "You know your men. I'm sorry I just wondered..."

She smiled again, "I'm a natural redhead."

I laughed at that. I thought, 'Pretty brazen, but then she is a redhead.'

We went to the restaurant. She got the flounder. I got the salmon. As an appetizer we shared a plate of crab dip. We didn't have too much to say. I told her about college, my parents, and my three siblings. She told me her dad had died, a massive coronary. She had two older brothers who both lived in Ellicott City. Her mom she said lived in Hagerstown with her widowed sister. Both were cities in Maryland.

It sounded like we both had pretty good childhoods and growing up times. The only real difference was in our post high school educations. While I'd gone straight to Shippensburg, she'd dawdled. She'd hung out for a year, then drifted into community college, and finally finished at Frostburg, one of Maryland's state colleges. She said she'd learned how to do nothing; she'd been an English major. I had to laugh. I told her I'd started out as an English major.

I couldn't help but notice certain things about her I hadn't realized at work. For one, like I first saw, she was tiny. Angela I remembered had big tits, Jeannie I bet was about as flat chested a woman I'd ever seen. It didn't seem to matter; she was dressed so prettily. Once she'd gotten out of her heavy coat I caught what I thought was a very pretty girl. Not that she was a child; I bet she was at least thirty, no she was 'child-like', youthful, different.

Other than simple office gatherings I'd never seen her out of the office before. In the office I thought she always seemed out of character for someone supposed to be such a slut. Her attire was usually shapeless jumpers or heavy wool or tweed business suits, nothing that attracted attention.

But not tonight!

Once the overcoat came off I got a glimpse of a real woman! She had green eyes, and she'd worn an almost filmy thin long sleeved button up blouse. I mean it was a plain blouse, no frills or lace, but it sure fit her well. She only had two of the top buttons undone so I didn't get any cleavage. It didn't seem to matter; she wore it so well. She had on a dark black and green plaid mini-skirt, dark brown nylons, and dark green heels. He legs were thin, but incredibly well shaped.

I felt self-conscious looking at her as she sat down. I felt myself starting to react, but that only reminded me of my very well-known inferiority.

Gosh she had a pretty face. I always thought she was pretty, but I never paid much attention at work. Those big green eyes! The freckles. It didn't look like she had any makeup on. Her ears were so tiny, and she had on delicate looking crescent shaped earrings with what looked like little emeralds inside.

Jeannie looked like someone I'd see in a magazine. It was too damn bad, her appearance only reminded me of two things. First I knew I was inadequate. And second she was the office whore. All in all it was a wonderful but disappointing evening.

Around 7:30 we'd finished our meals. She skipped dessert. I drove her home. Nothing much was said on the way back to her house, but when we got in front of her apartment she startled me. I guess I half expected a glass of wine and roll in the hay. The wine sounded good, but the roll in hay scared me.

Jeannie didn't wait for me to get her car door. She opened it herself. As she sat there, half in and half out of my car she said, "I was thinking about inviting you up, but I changed my mind."

I was relieved but disappointed too; it meant no performance failures, but it also meant I'd probably failed as a date.

She sat there a second. She put her hand on the back of her seat. It looked to me like she wanted to touch me. She said some things that surprised, no disarmed me, "I like you Caden. You're a good man. I mean it. I had fun tonight. That's why you're not coming upstairs. I know what everybody says. I know what you think of me. I'm not comfortable with any of that."

I nodded. I said, "I understand."

She didn't respond like I thought. She said, "No you don't understand. You know how men are; let one in and a girl's loose, let in two and she's a whore. I made a mistake. OK, I made two. But that's all. It won't happen again; especially not with you. It's not what I want."

I watched and listened. She looked and sounded so sincere, but I knew women. I didn't know what to say so I said something stupid, "Want to go out again tomorrow night?"

She looked startled, but she said, "Just a date."

I said, "Just dinner."

She said, "Sure. I guess so. 5:00 o'clock again?"

I said, "How about 6:30."

She dropped me with a pretty smile, a real smile. She knew I'd picked a 5:00 p.m. dinner to keep from getting caught out with her. By suggesting 6:30 I'd changed the rules. She said, "6:30 sounds good. Still casual?"

I thought, 'Not this time.' I said, "No I want to see you in a dress."

She beamed then, "OK, a dress it is," she got out and started up the stairs. Then she stopped; she briefly turned back and waved. God damn I felt good. Little dick and all; I felt good!

All the next day I was euphoric. I couldn't explain why; I just felt good. People stopped in every now and then and asked me about Friday night. They asked how I was doing. One fella, a nosy guy who'd been beating the bushes about my divorce from day one, even asked me if I had a date for the Christmas Party. I told him I thought I did. He asked if he knew her. I twisted his tail a little and told him it might be a guy. He smirked and walked off. I knew that would get out.

Jeannie came by once and stood in my office doorway. She winked, gave me a subtle waist high finger wave, and mimed 6:30. I high fived her and mimed, wear a dress. She grinned and left.

I picked her up at 6:30. She was at the door waiting in her big brown overcoat. I got her in the car, and she said, "You didn't say what restaurant."

I played it close to the vest. One of the absolute very best restaurants in the area was the Iron Gate Wine House. It was 'the place' where all the 'upwardly mobile', 'need to be seen' people went. Prices were outrageous and everything was ala carte, but if someone wanted get a great meal and make sure everyone knew who was with who, that was the place to go. I told her, "Thought we'd hit the Iron Gate if that's all right with you?"

She gave me a hesitant look and murmured, "You're sure. You know there'll be people there who'll see us. I mean do you want to be seen out with me?"

I had to; I reached over and with the fingertips of my right hand I lightly touched her left ear. She had on another set of very pretty earrings, these were red like her hair and they dangled down just a smidge. I touched the earring ever so lightly. I also got a little of her ear lobe. I don't think she liked it, but she didn't flinch back. I said, "You said something about Friday night. I'd like it if you'd let me take you."

She'd just fastened her seatbelt and shoulder harness. The harness crossed down in front of her coat and revealed a slight valley between her breasts. She had her hands folded neatly in her lap. She looked over at me. She looked scared. She said, "I wish now that..."

I knew what was probably coming. I had to head her off, "You asked. I want to take you. I'd feel privileged to get to take you."

She slowly released a wan smile, "OK. I asked, so we'll go, but let's get one thing straight. It's a date, just a date. I'm not. It's not..."

I'd started the car, but we hadn't moved yet. I left it in park and said, "I like you Jeannie. We went out last night and I had the most fun I'd had in years, and all we did was sit and eat and talk. Look, gosh darn it, I might be in a supervisory position at work, but there's no official title. We're having dinner tonight as friends. We'll go to the Christmas party as friends, just friends, that's all."

She wouldn't look at me. Who would've thunk it; Jeannie Dunlap was acting all shy and timid. I thought I knew women. Well guess what? Maybe I didn't.

We went to the Iron Gate. I got a steak. Jeannie got sirloin tips. I got a small bottle of wine and we each had one glass. We talked a little about the office, but mostly we talked sports. I had no idea Jeannie was a football fan. I had to admit it; I was too. We even rooted for the same team! Would wonders never cease?

After dinner I took her home. She let me walk her to front door; that was the big glass door that led to the stairs that led to her apartment. I didn't push it. I'd had too much fun.

We agreed I'd pick her up at 7:00 for the Christmas party. Dinner was scheduled for 7:30, so I figured that would give us enough time.

~~v~~

I needed a break. Maybe I was getting cold feet, maybe I was a little scared. I hardly slept at all Wednesday night. I kept thinking how I'd had two really fun evenings with the woman who was supposed to be the office pig. Was I being 'set up'? Was this some big joke? After all she'd approached me. I assumed most of the women at work had heard about my 'inadequacy'; my wife had intimated as much at other gatherings long before our divorce. Was Jeannie part of some nasty subterfuge? I thought, 'Was there some kind of bet? Did the women in the office want to find out how bad 'it' actually was, and had Jeannie, the office harlot, been chosen to be the one to find out?'

When I got to work Thursday I was a nervous wreck. I was ready to cancel our date, but Jeannie got to me first.

Even before I got my coat off. Before I got to my desk Jeannie was at my office door, "Mr. Meadows may I come in?"

I turned and sat down behind my desk. I was scared. I wanted to keep as much space between her and me as possible. "Sure," I said, "Come on in."

She said, "May I please sit?"

I pointed to the most distant chair, "Of course."

She sat down. She looked uncomfortable, "I don't think tomorrow night is such a good idea."

'What?' I thought. I asked, "Why? What's wrong?"

She said, "Somebody saw us last night. I'm sorry. It was a mistake. I think..."

My office door was open. I just bet there were a dozen ears not fifteen feet away... I very quietly asked, "Have you selected a dress?"

She rolled her eyes. She was starting to tear up. She whispered, "Yes I have a black..."

That changed everything! I got up and walked around from behind my desk. I got to where she was sitting. I held out my hand to help her to her feet. I felt her stiffen when I put my hand on her waist. I didn't care. I walked her to my office door, and very clearly and distinctly, maybe even a little loudly and in the general direction of the whole office said, "Yes I think your black dress would be most appropriate for the Christmas party. I'll wear my good black pin-striped suit; that should match your dress. I'll wear a red handkerchief in my coat pocket. That will go nicely with the red corsage I ordered from the florist on my way to work this morning. Is 7:00 p.m. still good for you?"

I looked down at her and smiled. She looked terrified. She simply nodded her head.

"OK," I said, 'let's get back to work." I watched as she walked back toward her desk.

I went back in my office, but left my door wide open. I got on the phone and immediately called the florist I used to use when I got things for my ex-wife. While sitting there listening to the florist's phone ringing I thought, 'Jeannie's comment this morning sure blew all my conspiracy theories right out of the window. More so it gave me a new and better feeling about Jeannie and me. We really liked each other. We may never be more than just friends, but damn it, we were going to be friends! Good friends! Let the office gossips have their day. Let the natterers slink around the office and tell smutty jokes. We'll show them!' Then I rethought, 'We'll only show them if Jeannie wants to.' I wouldn't want to do anything to embarrass her.

I hadn't felt this manly since I don't know when! Somehow, as stupid as it seemed, I felt like I was defending Jeannie's honor. I was standing up for myself too. I was being assertive! It felt good!

I had one regret; we'd taken out the old water cooler and replaced it with a cash drink machine. Gosh, if we still had a cooler I could've hidden an audio device behind and could listen in on all the chin wagging.