Call Me Booty

"I am done here for a couple hours, I am in desperate need of new makeup and well look I'm in a car with a driver so let's go shopping. I believe a mall run is in order, at least I hope they still have a puncturing place. There are still some good places for makeup and I suppose some new clothes."

"Well I hope price isn't an issue, the old mall closed there is a new one up and it's more expensive." Frank says to me as he starts the car up.

"Oh no problems, I got enough we can hit up the mall wander around for a little while pick up makeup and some clothes for me and stop for something good to eat."

"If you want good to eat at the mall they got a wood fired pizza place." Gilly says as she leans over the back of my seat.

"They got weird stuff for the pizza though, zucchini and spinach pizza, I mean it's just really weird." Frank says making a face.

"That isn't all they have, they do make regular old sausage and pepperoni pizza."

"You know Frank you always said Thai food is weird until you tried some."

"Yeah, didn't help you talked about some of the stuff you can find in Thai food before I got some, I mean dang did you have to talk about bugs in your food then hand me some." He says as he reaches over and tickles me.

"Yes I did, if I hadn't you wouldn't have liked it as much, so there and you are so going to try the weird stuff pizza with us. We will hand you enough bags and boxes that you will be hungry trust me."

"You can't get that much stuff, dang you said a couple hours not two weeks."

Gilly and I look at each other then burst out laughing, nothing else is said until we get to the mall. I couldn't help but just stare out the window, it's huge. This tall building, maybe three stories extends about half a mile in both directions away from the middle, sandstone colored with hanging banners and flags sticking out here and there. The entrance is this huge metal affair, looking rather like a small pebble up against a big rock. There are signs at the entrance, and what looks to be one of those diode message boards blinking on and off before scrolling a message.

We park fairly close to the entrance, I almost express my surprise at the location we park at until I remember today is Wednesday. As we walk to the entrance of the mall they again talk baseball and I can't help but stare at this incredibly large mall. Inside however is where the biggest shock is the mall is actually four stories, the lowest story is under the ground.

Frank disappears for a few moments while Gilly and I look at the map and try to decide on where to go first. Finally I remind her I'm the one buying anything, she's still working. As she looks at me a little crossly I look around for Frank and spot him sitting in a golf cart.

"Oh Lord Frank did you branch out into golf cart theft?"

"Hey that hurts, you should know I only steal hearts, the carts are a feature of the mall, it's so freaking big they decided to offer carts for those who can't walk far enough or harried guys who have two buy mad girls to follow around." He says trying hard to look hurt.

"Hmmm, I think I am starting to like this mall, so you get to be James now and well we have decided you are taking us to Dillard's first. Then we are going to the leather store, I gotta replace a few things and buy more."

"I don't remember seeing any leather in your room or packed." Gilly says as we sit on the cart.

"That is because Denise took them all she really loved my taste in leather and was forever borrowing them anyway. I gave them to her when I was sent to prison."

When we finally reach Dillard's Frank stays in the cart, Gilly and I walk into the store weaving our way through the jewelry men's clothes and basic here look stuff left out for people to buy on a whim. Making our way up one level we find the women's clothes and makeup sections. Before heading for the makeup I wander through the clothes picking out a few things, new lingerie g string panties a dress here and there.

Reaching the makeup my arms full I don't see who is there until I put the clothes down and scream in surprise. I am joined by the clerk behind the counter who promptly jumps over and wraps me up in a bear hug.

"My goodness Nancy you look great, Frank never said you were working here. How have you been and all that stuff I'm supposed to ask but can't think of at the moment." I grunt out from between her arms.

"I haven't spoken to any of the old crew in forever. My parents moved a year after you went to prison and I just got back in town like 3 months ago. Of course before my ass gets fired did you want to see any of the makeup or just make a purchase?"

"Wouldn't want you to get fired, Gilly here may decide to toss me back in prison. I wish to make purchases, lots of them. I do hope you get commission because I'm spending a lot. Oh yeah before you ask Gilly here is my parole officer, she's following me around today to get all my secrets and get some sex." I say poking Gilly in the ribs, she turns red and Nancy laughs.

"Of course, now do you have any specific colors or companies in mind, I could make recommendations if you wish or you can simply point out the ones you want."

"Oh I want the spiel, I haven't seen makeup in ten years and I'm not real sure what is good and what is not. I'm not sure I want recommendations you weren't the best with makeup, I would like you to tell me what each brand does and doesn't do however."

"Hey I was too good with makeup, you just never saw me before the guys descended on me and messed it all up. Anyway, let's talk foundation, would you like an oil, powder or liquid foundation?"

"I don't do foundation, you should know that. All I need is some blush, eyeliner, and lipstick."

"I know I know I was hoping you would buy more. Anyway yes lipstick, I have a lot of lipsticks, they were very good at improving lipsticks. There are all kinds, I've got metallic and SPF lipsticks, but for my money the only one you really want is Revlon Colorstay Ultimate. It comes in to be honest a small array of colors but all are beautiful and you would be hard pressed to not find one for any semi normal looks." She says pulling a rack of lipsticks over to the counter from behind her.

"Oh my, these are lovely, and they sound perfect. Now if only they had a nice purple, though I think I'm going to take all of these besides the nude colors. I don't get those, if I wanted nude lips I'd not wear lipstick."

"Ah yes you and purple, well never fear Revlon makes these Super Lustrous lipsticks, there are a lot of gorgeous colors in here and they are packed with vitamins C and E, they say your lips stay kissably conditioned."

"These are great and I'll take a few of these, though I wanted a dark purple. Do you happen to have any dark purples back there?"

"Of course, here we have the Colorganics Purple Haze it's sorta shiny dark purple. These particular ones are ninety five percent organic, as in no chemicals, well almost no chemicals they claim it is kiss proof. I've never tried this brand so I'm not real sure if they are or not but they sell well for the higher price. Entirely possible they sell well because of this whole organic trend so popular lately."

"Yes well let's talk blush, I want a nice powder and a range of colors, I'm thinking with all the lipstick colors I have here I'm going to need a range of pinks reds and a light purple if possible."

"Ah of course, we have a full range of powder blushes, I believe these and these and this one would be what you are looking for. I assume now you want eyeshadow yes?"

"Of course, same range of colors, and then we should go, I need to visit the leather shop eat and get back to the safe cracker, my brother had a safe I want open and he said be back in a couple hours."

"Alright then let me ring all of this up, going to take a while. Do you think you are going to be eating sooner than half an hour, I get lunch break in half an hour and I would really like to sit and talk to you and Frank, catch up on old times." She says as she rings up the myriad items I have grabbed in the store.

"Probably longer, I gotta get new leather clothes, Denise took all of mine, and since much has probably changed it will take me a while to pick out replacements. Though yes I'd like that, and I'm sure Frank would as well, he always did stare at your butt."

"He liked to do a little more than stare I swear he put more bruises on my butt than anyone. I suppose he's still with Denise though so I got no chance of sampling his equipment still."

"Yep, he married her, they are even trying to have kids, he picked me up in a station wagon, floored me though at least he had enough room for us and my luggage, so you know small favors and all."

"My god he doesn't have that corvette anymore? I mean seriously that man was fixated on that thing, but lord was it a spectacular car."

"You know I'm not sure, I didn't even think to ask, but I seriously doubt it, it is probably in his garage or driveway. So dang that much, you didn't like double ring me a lot or something?"

"I don't think so let me check. Nope, that is what you owe for all of this, pricey I know but for makeup we are one of the best places."

"Do you have enough for that? I mean dang that is like 4 times as much as parolee's get on release." Gilly asks eyeing the numbers on the display.

"Oh of course I have that, here use this card. Do you really think my brother wasn't making serious money or that I wouldn't end up with it, I mean think about it, we spent an hour in a panic room in my house, those things cost more than a lot of cars."

"Well you have a point, I never thought about it I just assumed you would be broke being a parolee from prison."

"OK I am jealous now, this is a third of my monthly pay from here and you're just paying for it without a care in the world." Nancy pipes in handing me my card back.

"Dang you two are such killjoys, if you must know that is a little over half of what I have in that account, I do have three other checking though. I am going to get a job, gonna run over and see if I can get a job in one of those stripper joints on sixty fourth, I figure I'm going to empty at least one of the checking getting outfitted for it and food before I actually make money. Oh Nancy we are going to eat at the pizza place here in the mall, Gilly recommends it and Frank wasn't happy so it must be good."

"Oh awesome I only ate there once so far. I'll tell the manager, after this big a sale he's going to pass out for a couple hours anyway. I'll get there in half an hour and order up some pizza, I know what you like and they take a while even when it's slow. Before I forget, Gilly is there anything you don't want or a specific pizza you have in mind?"

"No I'll just have what you get I'm not all that particular on pizza I'm an easy to cook for gal." Gilly says as she picks up some of the many bags Nancy loaded with my purchases.

After some goodbyes, a couple of hugs and a peck on the cheek we manage to exit the store to find Frank asleep on the cart. After we load the bags and us into the cart I hit him on the back of the head and off we go. The lazy bum was faking to avoid helping us load the cart, something I took great pleasure in poking into him before we reach the leather shop.

I'm flabbergasted by the assortment here, a lot of the designs weren't even thought about the last time I had been in here. I grabbed so many things the salesclerk was joking that she is going to have to close the shop until they get more stuff in. When we finally left Frank had gone back to the entrance and gotten a trailer. All of the bags we had gotten before were loaded into the trailer and still only took up a third of the space. He of course was joking that he would have to go and get another trailer to fit all of the crazy bitch's bags, then spent the rest of the time staying as far away from me as he could.

With everything in the trailer and Frank finally getting back in the cart we take off for pizza. At least we try, in a comedy of error's Frank goes the wrong way and we end up at the entrance. After we stop hitting him on the head we head off for the pizza finally making it to find Nancy sitting at the outermost table waving madly at us with pizza at the table.

"I know you said you would be a while but dang that took forever. Was there a major sale or something on the way?" Nancy asks as she passes out plates and slices.

"Nah, Frank went the wrong way and we ended up back at the entrance first after the leather store. I think he was scared of eating pizza with us, did they have the grasshoppers?" I tell her with a wink.

"No sorry they did have mealworms though so I got it half right." Nancy replies watching Frank turn green with a smile on her face.

"Ugh I know I said I was easy but dang I am not that easy." Gilly says putting the slice down.

Nancy and I just start laughing, Nancy somehow managing to get out that there are no bugs in the pizza. Gilly laughs with us Frank just keeps looking green which makes us laugh harder.

"So Nancy since you got dragged away for so long I am going to ask, I'm sure Frank is dying to know, how many kids have you had?" I ask eyeing Frank, he stops being green and turns pink instead, setting off even more laughter.

"Well none actually, my mom got me on the pill soon as she found out I was having sex. I've not bothered to get off though I'm not having all that much sex lately anyway."

"Stick around, she draws sex to her like a magnet, well sex and armed men with guns. I'm glad for the first one, second one I could so do without." Gilly says turning a little pink.

"Hard to have excitement without armed men with guns, besides that is so not a normal occurrence for me."

"Yes it is." Nancy and Frank say at almost the same time.

"Jinx you both owe me a coke. It actually isn't, most of the time all that comes to me is horny guys. The guys today were a strange occurrence, not everyday you find out you have a basement in the house you grew up in believing there isn't one to find that it has been turned into a stockpile of drugs."

"Well OK that is a strange occurrence, but you attract a lot of those. Nancy since you were kind enough to get the pizza why don't you go get some drinks to. So catty while we are asking sex questions, fess up how many women did you sleep with?"

"None, though one of the guards kept offering, well more than one but the other one was greasy ugly and perverted. She kissed me as I was getting changed for release, I maybe am going to rethink that but no you can't watch."

"Catty you go by that? I thought you only went by your full first name." Gilly interrupts Frank.

"Well not really, I let Frank get away with it, and my brother would say it as well."

"She hates it but most of us called her that behind her back. You see she growls as she fights, she even meows after putting somebody down." Nancy explains to Gilly as she puts the drinks in front of us.

"Hey I do not meow what the hell are you talking about?"

"Actually you do after a fashion your brother says it was you harnessing your Ki. You would growl low while fighting, when you land the last hit you stop growling for a second and then start it up again, sounds just like a little meow."

"She wasn't doing that when she was shooting, according to Bart she didn't miss he didn't mention a growling." Gilly says leaning closer.

"Shooting she holds her breath so can't growl you see, this is only when she is beating someone down."

"Did that happen often?" Gillys face getting an interested look.

"Six times, the first couple was shortly after she joined, then word spread and nobody wanted to, the other four she came upon a scuffle and they all ended very fast after that."

"It was eight times actually, and I did miss at the house, eight bullets to take down six men. Before you ask, groups came after me twice when I was with my brother. Suppose that makes came after us but well they seemed more interested in taking me down, which gave my brother plenty of chances to take them down. I was only holding my own against them he was finishing them before anybody gets it in their head to claim I'm like some goddess of fighting or whatever. I'm only as good as the other guy let's me be."

"Oh baloney you are like some goddess of fighting, you take on guys that are bigger and hold your own to wiping the floor with them. I've seen it, and based on what your brother said many times you are unmatchable. I think I should get hold of that fight director at the stadium and enter your name in that tournament coming up."

"What tournament?" Gilly asks before I can get a word out.

"There is going to be a mixed martial arts fight tournament in the stadium in two weeks. He would be drooling at the very idea of having catty here in his tournament, the ticket sales would shoot through the roof."

"No, just no. I am not going to use my Muay Thai for gains beyond staying alive. Unless you can find a very strong reason that does not include money I will never do that."

"I'm confused though there are Muay Thai tournaments in Thailand and elsewhere. Why can't you do that?" Gilly asks me her face scrunched up into a confused look.

"Because they are not using their family Muay Thai, what you see those using is a bastardized version of Muay Thai. If anyone used their family style for any reason besides under attack to the death their family would have to hunt them down and kill them. It is a matter of honor to the ancestors that their style is not used for any purpose than what it was developed for. The stuff you can learn in a class or see on the tournaments is a weakened form of Muay Thai. Much like the samurai are supposed to have done it, we train and practice so we can take down an opponent in as few moves as possible. That is boring when you talk tournaments of whatever form."

"Oh my, I never knew that. So I am curious now, how many moves did you use on those guys in the house?"

"I used five moves to get them down the steps and disarm the one that lived."

"Catty you are slipping I've seen you use two moves to accomplish a similar effect." Frank cuts in with a finger into my side.

"I wanted a survivor, not that the cops gave me a chance to grill him." I get out between fits of laughter.

"I don't know Ms. Smith, I rather get the impression you are a goddess of fighting." Gilly says grinning as Frank digs his finger in farther.

"I'd love to stay and chat longer but I really gotta get back to work." Nancy says as she stands up purse hanging from her hand.

"Here wait Nancy give me your phone number, Denise would love to have you over for barbeques and parties. Probably draft you into shopping trips as well, I've gotten good at bowing out of going on those." Frank says as he pulls his finger away from my side and gets a phone out of his pocket.

"I am going to need a copy of her number Frank I'll pick up a cell phone later today." I say as I wave after Nancy.

"Oh you don't have to, here this one is yours. Denise got it a couple days ago on our account for you, she was that excited." He says handing me the silver phone then pulling a black one out of his pocket.

"Oh great saves me the hassle, so how much do I owe you per month?"

"I better stay quiet on that one. Denise told me not to tell, you can talk to her about it if you really want, though I'm sure would be better to not make a fuss about it, especially since you are not going to stay with us."

"I don't get it, why does she want Catchada staying with you two so much?" Gilly asks as she finishes off the last slice.

"Because Denise met Frank through me, we were friends growing up and Frank was friends with my brother. Frank lived next door and Denise lived two streets over, I met her in school. In a way I played matchmaker between these two, he was getting on my nerves wanting a nice gal on his arm and I wasn't a girl to him."