Call Me Booty

"You were to a girl you just weren't a nice gal. Your brother actually tried to push you off on me but I had known you to long and I just saw a friend."

"OK, I think we have sat around long enough, let's see about the safe." I say as I punch Frank then grab my purse.

"Ouch what was that for?"

"Calling me ugly you jackass, let's go."

Frank just collects the trash on the table and tosses it in the trash muttering something while Gilly gets her purse and sits in the cart with me. Frank finally sits in the cart and off we go while I fiddle around with the new phone seeing all the stuff it does before I reach into my purse and pull out the paper I had gotten in prison. I get the name and number saved on the phone and look up to see we have reached the exit.

It took some effort but we managed to get all of the bags in hand, well in Frank's case strung along his arms and one in his teeth. Gilly and I follow him out the door and to the station wagon, all of us having several bags. After a few tense minutes we manage to fit everything into the station wagon before we all pile in and head off to see the safe cracker.

On the way there I get Gillys number on my phone and send her a quick text of 'hey god'. I manage to get John's number on the phone about two seconds before we pull into the complex with the safe cracker. We all pile out and go in, to find nobody there but there is a bell on the counter so I tap it.

Few seconds later out comes the same towering cutey as before, wiping his hands on a pink towel. He looks at us for a second, sticks the towel in his pocket and motions me around the counter. In the back is the safe looking a little worse for wear but the door is unlocked, as evidenced by him grabbing the handle and pulling it open, showing some VHS tapes a box and a pile of cash.

"I have to admit I did open it earlier, one of the faults with having to force safe's, that basically means it will open whether you want it to or not. This is one seriously good safe, I couldn't listen to the tumblers and I almost had to peel the hinges off to get it open. I have video tape of me opening the safe if you want to make sure I didn't take anything out, comes in handy for police investigations."

"Well you said you wouldn't, and you are offering video so either you took nothing or doctored the tape, I couldn't tell if you doctored it so I guess I'll just have to take your word for it. Besides any man who will use a pink hand towel isn't going to lie."

"My wife turned them pink actually, one of her red undergarments fell in with the towels and she didn't notice until after. I'm not sure who laughed more she had put some bleach in with them so her underwear was splotchy. Of course I bought her a new set and keep using the pink towels because she turns pink every time I bring one out at home." He says laughing which gets me laughing.

"Oh that is funny. So do you have a fairly tough bag, I believe that cash in there is one of those exploding stacks like banks have."

"Yes I do hold on it's around here somewhere. I take the towels and anything else dirty I end up with in here home in one. So while I get this maybe exploding cash into the bag I'd rather like to know how you know it might be exploding fake money." He says while he searches for then finds a canvas bag and bunches it up at the safe.

"My brother, he was talking about it before I went to prison getting the exploding fake money just in case somebody actually manages to break in. He was thinking of getting a safe at the time, he didn't then though he was looking at getting one of those big ones. Instead we got a panic room with some modifications." I say as I duck, the tied up bag popped after he tossed it across the room.

"Yes I heard about that panic room. I think the entire country knows about your panic room by now. It was on the news and well it's made something of a splash, I've fielded four calls about a panic room in the Smith style. I wish I worked in those, though I hope I don't have to get called into opening one."

"Yeah me to, there's not a lot of good ways. So let's see what is in the box, after we move the tapes just in case more exploding cash."

Carefully removing the tapes and setting to the side first he takes an extender and flips open the box. No pop and stream of dyes so we both get closer and pull out the box. Inside are some jewelry, some photographs, a ring box and a safe deposit box key.

"I may be wrong but that really looks to be a key to a bank down the street. I use that bank myself and do have a bank deposit box I put the spare keys for the store and our wills in there."

"Great thanks, I better stop there next, I probably am going to have to pay some back fees and make sure the key is for that bank. I guess I am done here thank you so much for the help and how much do I owe you for the bag?"

"Oh don't worry about the bag, I have a few more here, I get them from a friend he works for Brinks and they get spare or throw away bags fairly often. You wouldn't believe how often they come in handy here." He says as he guides me back into the front and around the counter, video's and box in hand.

Ushering everyone into the station wagon again we take off to the bank. Inside after a wonderfully boring fifteen minute wait I get to find out that it is indeed a key to a safe deposit box in this bank. After producing identification, waiting for the employee to search out that yes my brother is officially dead and determining that I do not owe any fees for the next 5 years I am shown into the vault and the box is placed on a table.

Inside the box I find my pink mother of pearl handled colt forty five, a cheap store bought shuriken, an envelope, two clips for the pistol and a box of ammo. I go to open the envelope until I look at the outside where it says do not open in bank, the envelope however is not sealed. I lift the flap and peek inside, all that I see is a folded piece of paper, so with a shrug it goes into my purse along with the pistol, clips, ammo and shuriken.

As I get into the back seat of the station wagon, Gilly had moved to the passenger seat she twists around and starts asking how much money I found. I look from her to Frank, lean forward and hit him on the back of the head. He crows and holds his hand out to Gilly who grumblingly pulls money out of her purse.

"We better go see Denise now, I was promised my favorite dinner by my reporter sister. I'd never hear the end of it if I didn't go visit her at least today. Besides I am sure you have a little party with all the old crew waiting for me. I did promise Gilly sex, may as well make sure she has gotten enough."

"That sounds great but no more than one or two, Bart called and asked me out tonight." Gilly says beaming widely as Frank gets the car going down the street.

"Oh fantastic that is great news, though I can't promise you will only want one or two. As I recall most of the old crew was a bit lacking in the old longevity department. Not to say it wasn't tons of fun or anything."

"According to them you are just that hot." Frank mutters as he manhandles the station wagon through the twisty streets of the rich section of town.

"Frank where are we going, did you get a job as a chauffeur to some rich snob or something?"

"Hey finally she asks, something of a miracle. I swear sometimes you are the most stuck up... So since you asked I'll tell you, Denise has a pen name. She is currently the second best selling romance novelist in the country. We are going to our sprawling huge mansion."

"I am so not having the best of days you know, though you are right I never asked you never brought it up either. You so could have just said something before now, I mean it's not like we just kept talking and didn't give you a chance to say anything."

His mouth opens to say something but then shuts again as we reach the end of the street. When the gate finally opens and we pull into the long winding driveway to see the enormous white house Gilly screams. The car lurches to a stop and we both look around then at her, she is pointing at the house and trying to talk.

"Oh... my... god... I love her books." Gilly finally manages to get out hugging Frank before turning, grabbing me by the head and kissing me.

"You know Gilly I don't think I should be making out with my god, probably all sorts of rules against that." I get out as Frank puts the car in drive again.

"Oh hell I was excited I don't do women, though I have to admit if I did you would so be first on my list." She mutters turning pink.

"Oh don't tell her that, her head is big enough as it is." Frank puts in as we pull up to the steps in front of the house.

I hit him in the back of the head as we pile out of the car. I head to the back of the car and half climb in to go through the bags before emerging again two bags in hand.

"So where is Denise I need a changing room. I'm going to make sure I look good before I go join in some party."

"Yeah I figured, inside there is a staircase, take it up and turn right, first door on your left is as likely as any to be empty. Denise said she was going to make sure everybody went to the left side for enjoyments."

"Ah hell, there better be some guys able to get it up out there, I'm after some hot sex or chewing gum and I'm all out of gum."

"I guess your brother was right, we never should have given you that Duke Nukem game."

"Never should of done a few things at least, but you did and here we are so live with it. Come on Gilly let's go get good looking."

"Shouldn't I just stay like this? I wouldn't want to steal your thunder it is your party after all." Gilly says as I walk inside.

Halfway up the steps Gilly catches up with me and takes one of the bags.

"Frank told me to go on I couldn't steal your thunder." She says in answer to my questioning look.

I just smile and grab her arm, at the top of the steps we turn right and try the first door it is empty, of people at least. We stop in amazement at the furniture, a huge canopied bed lays in the middle of the room atop a pedestal, two steps leading up to the bed. The dark royal purple canopy hanging over the posts, the comforter is the same purple and pulled back to show almost black red pillows and sheets. Upon closer examination, the sheets are the finest silk, against the wall I see an enormous TV, in an open faced cabinet next to it there is an Xbox 360, a row of games and the controllers stacked on what turns out to be a charger.

"I hope you like, this was going to be your room, still is anytime you want."

"Oh my god Denise, this is just perfect." I cry as I charge her and pick her up in a bear hug.

"Ack, not so hard please, precious cargo on board." She croaks out then takes in a long breath when I put her down.

"I'm gonna kill him he said you were still trying."

"He didn't know I got my test results back today while he was out getting you. I should yell at you taking so long but I just hit him instead, I bought you a whole new wardrobe and he never told you."

"In his defense she didn't exactly give him much of a choice. Hi I'm Gilly, her parole officer." Gilly says next to me holding out her hand.

"God is closer, her words and well it is funny. She is also a huge fan."

"Catty has a god, you know that is funny. I am glad to meet a fan, sometimes I have to wonder if fans are just something the publisher tells me about. Her brother put it in Frank's head I shouldn't be doing signings and such I don't even get fan mail. My publisher handles all of that and has a stamp of my signature. It's all kind of boring I was hoping catty would stay here so I could have an excuse to get out and about." Denise says smiling as she shakes Gillys hand.

"Well heck I'll come take you out places anyway, I'm not going to live on the moon."

"Your ass better, though I suppose I'll have to do the driving, Frank would crap his pants if I rode with you on your bike now. Anyway there is a vanity desk over there go on get all good looking."

"I don't have a bike unless you count my brothers." I mutter as I sit down at the desk and get out the makeup.

"Actually you do, custom made it's down in our garage with all of Franks corvettes. So I heard you found Nancy, that's great, I am so going to have to call her up and do some get togethers. You, I and her painting the town red just like old times."

"Yeah, be four of us again, Gilly is coming along on those. Assuming we can peel her off of Bart anyway." I say as I begin applying the new makeup on my freshly cleaned face.

"That won't be a problem he seems to be wrapped around my finger already. Did your old fourth move away?" Gilly asks as she peers at herself in the mirror.

"She died. The last victim of the guy catty killed, much to fast if you ask me."

"According to my conviction not fast enough, I still can't believe I was convicted of that. I suppose I should have let him hit me." I say as I get up from the chair and shimmy out of my dress.

"Might have something to do with why you are out early you know, the judge who sat in your case quit six months later. There was talk that he was being investigated and was forced or opted to quit, made avoiding having his cases tried again easy." Gilly casually remarks as she is touching up her makeup.

"I suppose I better have a talk with this man, do you know where he is?" I say glancing at Denise's raised eyebrows.

"He's a reporter now he was one of the ones at your release this morning."

"Thanks Gilly, I am very looking forward to interviewing him now. Denise could you give me a hand with this corset."

"Aren't you supposed to put things on under these undercut corsets?" Denise asks as she grabs the ties and shoves on my back with her foot.

"If you want to show it off and be covered yes, oh and breathing is nice not so tight." I grunt out as she keeps pushing and ties a knot.

"Ok, what do you guys think, am I screaming fuck me or should I go a little more obvious?" I ask as I twirl for the two of them.

They both look at me, snuggly tied into a corset that cups my breasts and extends down to just above my pussy. They look at me, look at each other then start laughing.

"Umm catty if you could get more obvious you would have a neon sign. Come on let's do the grand entrance, catty you go first so we don't get trampled." Denise tells me with a wink as she takes Gilly by the arm and leads the way.