Call Me Gray Ch. 02

The sky had been dark and stormy all morning, seeming to match Mr. Gray's mood as he drove from the house in Lake Ridge to Pinewood Medical Center. Part of him had wanted to make a plan, choose his words before hand so they would easily slip off his tongue as soon as he was face to face with Amanda. Then he'd come to his senses. This was one performance that he'd have to improvise, in the hope that she would see and hopefully understand how difficult it had been for him to leave her the previous evening.

The parking lot was practically empty as he pulled into what had become his usual spot under the maple tree closest to the front door. He switched off the engine and sat there for a moment, thinking through and quickly disregarding all attempts on his psyche's part to cast blame where it wasn't due. This was his assignment, therefore, his screw up. Brown had been right to turn the tables on him, if only to press the need for cooperation in this matter. Gray had criticized Mr. Green a time or two for far less than he had attempted with Mr. Brown.

He took a deep breath, clearing his mind as he released the air through his pursed lips. He scooped up the navy, insulated raincoat off the passenger seat and got out of the Cherokee. He threw it over his arm as he walked the short distance to the entrance, where the woman on duty greeted him cordially. He wished her a good morning and moved briskly onward, not in the mood to act as friendly this day as most others.

When he stepped into the open doorway of Amanda's room, he purposely waited for her to sense him, which took a few long moments and allowed him the opportunity to observe her at a peaceful state. Her head was bent forward, concentrating on a paperback resting in her hands. She'd tucked her hair behind her ears to keep it from obstructing her view; and the hint of a satisfied smile nestled into the corner of her mouth.

Then Amanda looked up from her pages to see who had darkened her doorway. The contentment slipped from her features instantly as first the muscles in her cheeks, then neck and shoulders tensed. She looked away from Gray, slipping her bookmark between the pages and putting the book on her side table. It seemed to take a long time for her gaze to move back to him.

"Hi."

Her response was tired and cheerless. "You're a little early today, aren't you?"

"Yes, I suppose I am," he admitted. He looked around at the room that had shared in their time together for nearly two months. Though tasteful, the room was far from having the warm, homelike quality that the decorator had probably envisioned. Admittedly, he had grown tired of being here too.

"Why do you have two jackets?" Amanda asked, perking up a bit with curiosity.

Knowing that the important dialogue was only being delayed, not forgotten, Gray stepped up to the bedside. He lifted the coat, holding it out for her to take from his grasp. "I thought we could go for a walk outside. You've been cooped up in this room for too long."

She took the raincoat, dropping it into her lap, but not really looking at it. Instead she gave him an apprehensive glance that, with her indecision, soon became a stare. Gray managed to hold his ground under the scrutiny of her intense greens- not even a muscle twitched under his features.

When it became apparent that neither of them was going to bring up the cause of this tension, Amanda looked away again. She climbed down from the bed, straightening the shirt and jeans she wore before donning and zipping the jacket. With a flip of her hair, to free it from under the coat, Amanda moved toward the doorway expectantly. Gray fell in behind, switching off the light before leaving.

Together they moved down the hall, passing a few nurses conferencing over a medical chart. The woman on duty at admissions grinned at the couple as they passed. Gray thought she might have winked too, but wasn't sure to whom she was directing it. She wasn't much older than him, he suspected, yet exuded motherly warmth. He thought it unimportant to consider her wink as anything more than gracious encouragement.

The air was heavy with forthcoming rain as they stepped through the front doors of Pinewood. The hospital had an outdoor garden area and Amanda headed that direction, hardly seeming concerned that she was outpacing his slower, controlled strides.

Gray watched her intently. She really was a striking woman, especially now that the majority of her injuries had healed, unveiling the smooth, delicate features that visited his mind so often late at night when he couldn't or wouldn't sleep. Watching her admire the vivid colors of the flowers while she walked, Gray was relieved to see calm slowly easing into her form, relaxing her muscles, slowing her steps and releasing a gentle smile.

She reached the first of many benches strategically placed around the gardens and sat down to watch him approach. He also felt more relaxed now and eased onto the bench while her eyes took him in.

"I love the rain," Amanda said softly, casting her gaze toward the darkening clouds in the already dreary sky. Gray nodded without comment. He just watched her, drinking in every small change to her features. Then suddenly, her gaze was back on him and a touch of upset gleamed in her eyes. With a noticeable edge to her voice, she asked, "What do you love?"

He frowned, recognizing the challenge she was presenting to him. His first thought was to say that he loved her, but somehow that seemed wrong to say at this moment. So, as not to prolong his response, he answered honestly. "Campfires... I've enjoyed them since I was young."

Her eyes skimmed over his features and partway down his front before her smile reemerged. "Won't my rain put out your campfire?" she teased.

He held back all emotion except his uncertainty. "Only if we let it," he said after a few moments of pause. Amanda's head tilted in consideration of him. "Is that the cue?"

"For what?"

"To talk about what happened last night?" Her smile was fading, but not completely gone.

"Think you can listen to an apology?" he countered, feeling braver as she was managing to keep her own emotions in check.

"Sure...if you really need to give one." She really didn't seem invested in this conversation, Gray realized. She was holding back, perhaps to protect her already injured feelings.

"What would I say... if not to apologize? I made a promise to you; and I broke it."

Amanda shrugged, reaching out to cup a pink rose bloom in her hand from the bush alongside the bench. "I shouldn't have asked you."

"Why not?" he asked softly, suddenly wondering what Brown and Miss Rose had said to her after he'd departed. "I think you had every right."

There was care in choosing her words it seemed, for it took her a long time to answer. "Being here is like being trapped in limbo. I feel like my life is on hold, just waiting to start over." Her fingertips caressed the rose petals; and she took in a sudden breath as if to bolster herself against the onslaught of an unwanted emotion.

Gray shifted his gaze away from her features as her eyes began to glisten. He'd made many a person cry in his career with little to no effect on him personally; but in her case, those starting tears caused a burning inside his chest that disturbed him.

He reached over, sliding his arm across her shoulders until he could hook his hand around her right arm and draw her closer. Amanda came willingly, burying herself against his side and resting her head where his neck met the shoulder. "I think we both want the same thing," Gray said with care, placing a kiss on the top of her head. "We just have to be patient a little bit longer."

During the long silence, Amanda began to sniffle. "Can I ask you a question?" she asked finally, sounding miserable.

"Of course."

She lifted her left hand, holding it palm out in front of her. "What happened to my wedding ring?"

Gray took her hand in his, holding it close to his chest. "I have it at the house," he said, hoping he sounded reassuring. He manipulated her hand with his own, straightening out her fingers so he could get a good look at the size of her ring finger. With her fingers lined up against his own, he determined that it was most likely a full ring size smaller than his pinky.

"What are you doing?" she inquired, sounding less sad. She pulled her hand from his grip to wipe at her eyes.

"Just admiring," he said with a smile.

"Gray?"

"Yes?"

"Let's not fight about last night."

"Ok." He decided not to pretend to be relieved. "What shall we do then?"

"Walk." She sat up, pushing Gray's arm off of her shoulders with a playful nudge before standing. Then she held out her hand to him.

"You realize that you're letting me off the hook too easily?" he said, getting up and taking her hand. He tried to keep his features firm and serious.

"Perhaps," she said, looking deeper into the gardens. "I'm sure you had your reasons."

Her forgiving attitude puzzled him. What woman would forgo the chance to put a man in his place? He felt he was deserving of something. In fact, he wasn't sure he could let the incident go without some form of reprimand. Could she possibly be intuitive enough to realize how hard he was being on himself?

"You don't want to hear them?"

"I want my walk...and my ring." Her tone was strong and her words spoken with decisiveness. How could he refuse such simplistic requests in light of the scolding he truly deserved? It felt like they were leaving a gaping wound in their relationship that would have to be treated eventually.

He gave an affirming nod and let her guide him down the path at a slow, relaxed pace. He hoped the rain would come before they returned inside. He wished for any and all things in that moment that would bring a smile to Amanda's lips and a twinkle to her eyes.

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The next morning, the door to the observation room opened as Gray approached Amanda's room. Miss Rose stepped into the hall and gave him a beckoning wave before retreating inside. "What is it?" Gray asked, allowing some mild irritation to show as Miss Rose shut the door behind him.

"I know it's not my place," she began with hesitation and shifting her eyes from Gray to the room beyond the glass where Amanda was seated in the bedside chair, dressed and wearing her insulated raincoat in anticipation of his arrival.

It cheered him to see her looking so at ease. The long walk of the previous day had worked to purge the tension between them.

Miss Rose gazed back at him, her eyes wide and features almost trembling at the admission she was about to make. "Dr. Brown...set you up."

"How is that?" Gray asked in a calm tone, keeping his mind from racing in a million directions and dredging up volatile emotions. He knew it was always better to have the facts instead of jumping to conclusions.

"The other day, during their therapy session, Amanda asked Dr. Brown why it was taking so long for her to be released. She was confident that she was ready to go home. He...told her that you had expressed... concerns."

Gray's brow furrowed and his jaw tensed. This news was angering, yet he managed the emotion with great skill. There were much better ways to expend his energy than a tantrum. "He made it sound like I was the reason she wasn't being released."

"I'm sure that is what prompted her to ask you," Miss Rose said. She looked distressed and astutely ashamed. "Dr. Brown's reasons for doing such a thing are beyond me, but I am very sorry, Mr. Gray."

He gave a simple nod to acknowledge her sentiment. "Is Brown going to be around today?"

She nodded stiffly, slowly recovering her wits. "He had a meeting with Mr. Black very early this morning, but should be back anytime."

"Amanda and I are going for a drive. I'll expect him to be available to speak with me when we get back."

Though her features grew tense at this declaration, she did not argue with him. If she worried that he was going to get her in trouble with Brown, she made no plea for discretion. She was far from being considered a friend, but Gray thought it rather dignified of her to be so accepting of the consequences of her actions.

"Good day, Miss Rose," he said with a respectful nod in her direction.

Gray left the observation room and slipped into the next, catching Amanda's attention as soon as he cleared the doorway. A wide, expressive grin stretched her lips as she stood and moved toward him. "You're late," she said in a teasing tone.

He made a mild production out of looking at his watch and trying to read it. "Only by a few minutes," he said, thinking of the delay caused by Miss Rose.

Amanda pursed her lips into a playful pout. "I hoped you would come early again," she admitted. "Last night was so looong."

Instead of apologizing or continuing to tease her, Gray took her hand. "Let's get out of here," he whispered conspiringly. "It's a good twenty minute drive to the house and we don't want the doctor to catch us sneaking out."

"I thought you cleared this little trip," she said with a chuckle. She shook her head at him as if she was planning disciplinary action. He feigned innocence in return, checked to see if the coast was clear and promptly stole her away to the Cherokee parked in the front lot.

The ride to Lake Ridge was quiet and beautiful. The first of the autumn colors were making their appearances in the surrounding woodlands. Deer grazing in view of the road, fled on thin, strong legs as the jeep passed, causing Amanda to release her belt so she could turn around in her seat to watch them scatter into the tree line. Then, with a sigh, she plopped back into place with a snap of her belt and a rosy flush to her cheeks.

The house, a beige split-level ranch style, was partially hidden behind a row of red maple trees along the street and brilliant yellow to red/orange fire cherry trees lining the long drive to the garage. Colorful leaves, sacrifices of the season, were scattered around the immense yard of still green grass.

Gray pulled into the drive, taking his time in reaching the front of the house, so Amanda could absorb the full picture. He was curious to hear what she thought of their house, in that it was theirs as long as this mission lasted. He was not disappointed or kept too long in suspense.

"My goodness, Gray," Amanda said as she stepped out of the Cherokee. She turned in small, slow circles, taking in everything with wide, appreciative eyes. "Did we instantly love it?"

"You knew this was the place, the minute you saw the posting on the website," he said with a smile. "This is our first time here together though." He looked toward the front steps, sorting through his key ring in search of the one for the house. "Ready to go in?"

She nodded and moved toward him, but her eyes still surveyed the yard and the high fences at its edges as she moved cautiously up the front stairs. "Have you met any of the neighbors?" she inquired, finally shifting her attention to him as he unlocked the door and stepped into the front hall.

Gray stepped back, letting her pass him before closing the door. He didn't answer her right away as he wanted to see her reaction to the empty space of the living room to their right and the dining room on the left. White glared from every wall, making him wish he hadn't left the magazines and color samples at the hospital the other day when he'd left in such a rush. He had wanted to have something done for her before she saw the house, but that would all be remedied soon.

"Not yet. I haven't exactly been out of the house much, other than to come out to Pinewood."

"We have a lot of room here," Amanda said, nodding her head subjectively as she peered in on the living room and then decided to cut through the dining room with its fine wooden flooring. Gray followed her to the kitchen at the back of the house, where the first pieces of actual furniture were present. A simple microwave sat on the counter by the sink. The counters had a look of golden sinai marble that stood out quite nicely with the medium to dark wood of the cabinets. There was a small, circular kitchen table and chairs that looked rather dejected resting in a space meant for something much larger. Gray had noticed the first time he'd toured it that there was nothing small about the house, even the bathrooms and closets were immense.

Amanda shook her head and amusement filled her tone. "We don't even have curtains," she observed.

He looked at her with a soft, almost mournful gaze. "This furniture was impulse buying on my part. I actually don't like any of it at all, if that makes sense."

"It must be hard being here alone with all this space and nothing in it." Her sympathy was evident as she stepped closer and put a hand on his arm. After a few moments of tender silence, she sighed and took his hand. "Take me upstairs."

Even though he knew it was an innocent request, part of him still flushed a bit at her choice of words. There was nothing sexual about his decision to bring her here today. He certainly had no current plan to lean her over the kitchen table or playfully wrestle her down on the deck overlooking the backyard beyond the kitchen's sliding glass doors. Yet, a slight increase in his heartbeat and body temperature reminded him of what exactly he'd signed up for when agreeing to take this mission. Honestly, there were worse ways to keep an eye on your competition.

Gray led her through the kitchen side door to the living room, where a short flight of stairs led down to the basement level and a parallel flight of stairs led up to the master suite, office, guest rooms and bathroom. She took it all in as they toured the upper level and gave him a raised eyebrow of suspicion when she realized he'd been sleeping on a full-size bed in one of the guest rooms and living out of suitcases.

With a humble shrug, Gray led her to the master suite, which had its own enormous walk-in closet and adjoining bathroom with dual sinks, shower and large tub. Everything was very stylish...but mostly white, which irritated him more than it really ought to have, considering Amanda's lack of comment.

He turned to see where her attention was, only to find her getting down to touch the soft, medium gray carpet, which was still new enough to give a cushioned, springy feeling under foot. "Like it?" he asked, trying not to smile too widely as she stretched out fully on the floor and closed her eyes with a sigh of restful bliss.

"Uh huh," she said in admiration, turning her head, to press her cheek into the softness. "I especially like the color."

"I suppose we can forego buying a bed if you think you'll enjoy sleeping on the floor," he teased. "I'll just head on back to the bed down the hall."

Amanda's bright green eyes opened, narrowing to slits as she teased back, "No you won't, dear. Our nights of sleeping apart will soon be at an end." She sat up slowly, looking incredibly graceful as she got to her feet. She approached the walk-in closet, opened the door and disappeared inside. Gray stood back, awaiting her return. He knew that a tasteful collection of clothes awaited her inside, all carefully purchased and pre-laundered by the fashion-savvy female operatives at the firm. It wasn't a lot, he knew, but enough to give her a sense that he had been thinking of and wanting her here with him.

Amanda emerged from the closet, switching off the light and closing the door. She looked at him, but away just as quickly. He sensed a change in her, but did not press her with inquiries. He knew it was a lot to take in all at once.

"We lost a lot in the crash, didn't we?" she asked him suddenly, turning back to study his expression as he formulated an answer.

"Yes," he agreed, "but they were only objects, material possessions. You are all I really care about." She seemed to accept this answer with the sincerity he had intended to convey. Even a lie could sound true with the right emotion backing it. "Come back to the other bedroom," he said. "I have some stuff to show you."