Can I Look At You Now?

The inmates dutifully got into a line for breakfast, slowly, as was their usual way, as the corrections officer in charge watched them carefully. There had been a few new arrivals when he was on his days off, so he knew that he would have to give them his speech about rules and regulations concerning going to the dining hall.

He waited until all forty-two were in line and quiet before he spoke. He glanced at his watch briefly and then addressed them.

"Before we go down to breakfast, there's a few things I want to go over with the new guys," he began. "From the time we leave here until we get to the dining hall, there will be silence. I want it to be so quiet that I can hear a mouse pissing on a cotton ball when we go through the hallways."

C/O Brothers began to pace up and down the line, reverting back to his army days, as he continued to speak.

"You will not look into the classrooms, nor will you look into the female dormitories going down or coming back." A few inmates began to snicker, but grew silent when Brothers shot them a glance.

"You will not talk to the inmates who are serving the line. If you need something, you may address me or Miss Marcia, who is in charge of the kitchen, or any person in charge of the line that day. You may talk in the dining room in normal tones, but if it gets too loud, you will not be permitted to talk at all. In addition, I do not want to hear any whistling or any other noises that will disturb the other classrooms."

Brothers looked up and down the line. "Does everyone understand?"

There were murmurs of 'Yes sir' from the inmates.

"Good, let's go."

C/O Brothers led the group of inmates down the stairs from the third floor of the Madison Correctional Facility. Madison was a drug and alcohol offender facility that housed one hundred and fifty men and seventy women. All of the inmates were sentenced by the court to go to Madison instead of going to prison and could be removed and sent to prison for various rules violations or other indiscretions. Because the rules and regulations were strict, Madison did very well in the rehabilitation aspect and there was a waiting list of inmates to come into the facility. It was a good facility and Brothers was proud to be an officer there.

He had been a corrections officer at Madison for thirteen years following a ten year hitch in the army. Brothers was in charge of the new inmates, ones who would stay in his care for the first month of their normal six month sentence. Although he was not big at 5'10" and 175 lbs., Ben Brothers was strongly built and skilled in hand- to-hand combat, as several inmates had found out during his tenure. Even though he hadn't been involved in a fight with an inmate in over three years, he still had a reputation as an officer not to mess with.

Brothers and the group came to the bottom of the stairwell and he keyed his radio, "Brothers to control, North- east 1 door, please." The control room operator saw Brothers and the inmates on camera at the door. There was a buzzing sound and Brothers pulled the door open and went through with the inmates following behind.

Before they got to the dining room, there would be three classrooms on the left side of the hall and the women's dormitory and laundry on the right. The women's actual sleeping area, bathrooms, and showers were upstairs; the lower level was for classes, projects, and other services. At that time of the morning, classes had yet to begin, but the females would be awake and milling around the lower level waiting for their individual treatment programs to start. Fraternization was strictly forbidden between males and females, although females sometimes worked in the kitchen with the males, but they were watched closely at all times, plus cameras were everywhere to catch what officers didn't see.

As they passed the last classroom, Brothers saw a light on, but didn't look in. He unlocked the dining room door and let the inmates, one by one, pass by him and and take a seat inside. Brothers took his eye off of the inmates momentarily when he glanced into the lit room to see who might be there. He knew that the previous G.E.D. instructor had resigned a few weeks prior, but he hadn't heard about her replacement.

An attractive brunette was sitting at the desk in the far corner pouring over paperwork. She was very pretty, at least Brothers thought so, maybe 29 or 30 years old, with long brown hair that spilled over the shoulders of her blue blouse.

The last of the inmates passed Brothers into the dining room and he followed, shutting the door behind him. After the inmates were served, Brothers sat down to his own breakfast. The meals at Madison were quite good for prison food, and for a dollar, you couldn't beat the price, but Brothers found his mind wondering to the woman in the classroom. He had been divorced for over fifteen years, his wife tired of the army life, and at forty-one, he was getting tired of being single. He dated often, but hadn't been in a serious relationship in almost three years. Even if she was single, he thought, the younger officers would be all over her and he didn't think he stood a chance with someone that much younger.

As he tried to push her out of his mind, Brothers ate quickly, an old army habit that he couldn't quite stop. When they were finished, the inmates cleaned their plates and trays and set them on a metal conveyor belt that led to the dish room. After they cleaned off their tables, they lined up once more for the return trip. Once he was satisfied with the cleanliness, Brothers led them back to their dormitory. As he passed the new instructor's door, he looked her way. She looked up as she heard the inmates go by and saw Brothers looking at her. He smiled and nodded to her when he saw her blue eyes meet his. She looked at him blankly and then went back to her work.

That certainly went well, he thought to himself sarcastically, as he continued with his group.

This continued for several days as Brothers would walk his inmates to breakfast or lunch. Although she looked up when he walked by, she still didn't acknowledge him. Whenever she wasn't in the classroom, Brothers would be disappointed. After the first week, he resigned himself to the fact that she wasn't interested in him, but nonetheless, he continued to nod to her as he did with all of the female staff at Madison, just out of politeness. He found out her name, Elaine Linsenmeyer, from the sign on her door, but he knew little else about her.

A week or so later, Brothers was eating lunch with the inmates, when there was a knock at the door of the dining hall. Brothers looked up and he saw Elaine standing there. She opened the door slightly, just enough to poke her head through.

"May I speak to you for a minute, sir?" she asked softly. Brothers almost didn't hear her, but his heart sped up at the sound of her voice. He pressed his napkin to his lips, scooted out his chair, and walked towards her. Forty-two pairs of eyes followed him as he passed through the doorway and Elaine closed the door behind him.

She stood in front of him now and she was prettier close up. Her eyes were a light blue and they complimented her reddish-brown hair. She was almost as tall as Brothers and while she wasn't overwieght, she wasn't thin, either. Her weight fit her frame well. Her full bosom strained against the thin fabric of her red blouse, although Brothers tried not to stare. He was clearly smitten and waited eagerly to see what she wanted.

Elaine could tell that the officer in front of her was into physical fitness, although he was a bit on the thin side. His protruding jaw and developed chest and arms gave him a very solid appearance, as did his thin waist. His short, brown crew cut was sprinkled with gray, but his face and body told her that he was probably in his early thirties, possibly the same age as her thirty-three years. His warm, brown eyes were fixed on her, waiting for her to speak again.

Cute or not, she thought, I have to tell him off. Clearing her throat, she said in a low voice, "Do you have a staring problem?"

Brothers was taken aback and he didn't know what to say. Elaine's eyes narrowed and started to turn a frosty blue when Brothers hesitated. She wanted an answer and now!

"Well," she demanded with her hands on her hips, "do you?"

Brothers tried to think of what he did to offend her, but he couldn't think of anything. They had never talked before and he was pretty much on the defensive, something he wasn't used to.

"What do you mean?" he asked finally, still perplexed. This was not going the way that he thought or hoped it would.

"I mean," she replied, "every time you walk by my room, you stare at me. You do it every day and I'm getting tired of it. I could understand if you were an inmate, but you're an officer and you should set the example. I would expect more out of you!"

Her statement hit him hard. Being compared to an inmate was an insult all by itself, but to be compared to one when he did nothing wrong, at least in his eyes, made him seethe in anger. His eyes turned darker and the warmth that was there just a second before disappeared. He refused to let his anger show, he wouldn't give her the satis- faction. Damn, he thought to himself, I really liked this one, too. Too bad she's being such a bitch.

In a polite voice with no warmth behind it, Brothers said, "I'm sorry that I looked at you and bothered you, ma'am. I assure you that it'll never happen again. If you'll excuse me, I have inmates to watch."

Without waiting for a reply, Brothers turned, unlocked the door, and went back into the dining hall. He sat back down and ate quickly without looking up.

Elaine went back to her classrooom and sat down behind her desk. Sighing softly, she immediately regretted how she handled the situation. She had had a bad week and she was mad at herself for losing control. Ever since she started, it seemed like every officer in the jail was hitting on her, single or not. They were almost as bad as the inmates, for crying out loud. At least with inmates, you expected that sort of behavior. Only now, she was starting to question herself for leaving her high school teaching position for this. Not that she wouldn't have minded dating one or two of them, but she could tell right away that most of them were not her type and she was quite choosy when it came to dating. She really had to feel comfortable with someone before she would consider dating him. She had been burnt badly, twice, since her divorce five years earlier and she wasn't taking any chances now. Today was just the last straw and he was handy to go off on. She had no trouble telling the other ones that she wasn't interested, even the really persistent ones. Elaine just didn't like being ogled and that's what she felt that the officer was doing. Christ, she didn't even bother to see what his name was!

Yet, she wasn't sure why she felt bad. It certainly didn't bother her to say 'no thanks' when she got rid of the others. He certainly didn't say anything to elicit any sympathy, but she had liked him anyway, even when he excused himself in anger. Yes, she could tell that he was angry, although he tried to hide it. Elaine couldn't put her finger on it exactly, but she was sorry.

Brothers lined up the inmates and gave them a terse warning about looking at the female inmates on the way back. He had seen some of them looking in that direction a couple of times over the previous few days.

"But, C/O, you look at that teacher all of the time," a small voice in the back of the line protested.

Brothers' eyes narrowed in anger as he tried to find the body that belonged to the voice, but with no success. "I don't know who said that and I don't care," he said. "If I want your fucking opinion, I'll ask for it. If you've got something to say, have the balls to say it to my face and not hide behind your buddy like a fucking pussy! Anybody got something else to say?"

No one flinched.

"Okay, let's move." He led them past the classrooms and dormitory to the stairway without looking in Elaine's direction, not even knowing if she was there or not.

Elaine looked up as she heard the inmates trooping by. The officer walked by in a blur so quickly that she barely saw him. She sighed again and threw down her pen in anger. When she heard the door to the stairwell close, she rose from her chair and walked over to the classroom next to hers. Rose Littlejohn taught pre-G.E.D. education and was becoming a good friend and confidant to Elaine. She was writing on the chalkboard and looked over as Elaine entered.

"Hey, Elaine. How's it going?"

"Not good," she replied as she closed the door behind her. "I just chewed out an officer and now I'm feeling kind of shitty about it."

"Who was it?" She knew all of the officers and was curious as to whom Elaine was speaking about.

"I don't know, he just walked by with a group of inmates from lunch. He's about my height, brown crew cut, looks to be in great shape."

"You chewed out Ben?" she asked incredulously. "There must be some mistake. What did he do?"

"He's always looking at me and nodding when he passes my room. It just makes me feel uncomfortable."

"He does that to everyone, Elaine," Rose replied, "even me."

"I just don't like being stared at. I feel like I'm on display for him to look at."

"Oh, come on Elaine, I'm sure he didn't stare at you. He's much too professional for that."

"What do you mean?"

"He's the best damned officer we've got and he holds himself to a much higher standard than most. I just feel that it's not as bad as you make it out to be. That would be so out of character for him."

Elaine mulled over what Rose had told her and began to believe more and more that she was out of line just a few minutes before. "So," Elaine asked, "is he married?"

"No," Rose laughed, "he's been divorced for about fifteen years, I guess."

"Fifteen years?" Elaine exclaimed, "He must have been a teenager then."

"What are you talking about?"

"He's only about my age, so he must have married and divorced really young."

"Elaine," Rose explained, "he's forty-one."

"Forty-one?" Elaine started to laugh. "Here, I thought I was older than him! Tell me some more about him."

Rose preceded to tell Elaine about him, his military career, his years at Madison, and other things that she knew about him. When she finished, Elaine said, "You seem to know an awful lot about him."

"Well, we dated for a while."

"Why'd you split up?"

"I don't know, we just kind of grew apart. It wasn't anything specific. I wish we were still dating, though. He was a lot of fun."

"How long did you date?"

"About eight or nine months."

"And you're still on good terms?"

"Of course. Once you get to know Ben, he's a friend for life. You can ask Karen in commissary, or C/O Phillips, they both dated him."

"Really." Elaine hesitated before asking one more question. "So," she said almost blushing, "how was he in bed?"

Rose looked her in the eye and said, "Simply the best!"

Days went by as Brothers continued to walk his inmates to and from the dining hall without giving the first glance in Elaine's direction. She now missed the attention, knowing for sure that he meant no harm. Elaine had talked to both Karen and the C/O that he had dated and they had nothing but good things to say about him, as did every female in the facility who knew him or worked with him. She chastised herself daily for going off on him, but couldn't think of a way to say that she was sorry. She wondered, though, does this man have any faults and if he doesn't, why is he still single? C/O Phillips, Sue, said that his only fault was falling in love too soon and wanting to speed up their relationship.

"He was just too serious too fast," she said. "That's why I stopped seeing him. Great guy, still is, but I wasn't ready for marriage after dating for six months, but he was. We couldn't reach a compromise, so we decided to part as friends."

"Doesn't it bother you, you know, getting that close, splitting up and having to work with him?" Elaine asked.

"At first, a little, but he's such a good friend, I certainly didn't want to avoid him," Sue explained.

Karen Freeders, in the commissary, said basically the same thing, but added a warning, "If you decide to date him, be careful. If he falls for you, he falls hard and fast."

Elaine took all of this into consideration and decided that if that was the worst of it, then Ben Brothers might be worth the trouble. Now, all she had to do was figure out a way to break the ice.

A few days later, Brothers came onto his shift and conferred with the officer on the midnight shift about any new developments. After the midnight officer left, Brothers checked the roster sheet and began to perform his early duties. He walked to each inmate and checked their name off his list, all the while inspecting their bunks and general living area. If their bunk was messy or the area around unkept, he made them straighten it up pronto. It didn't take long before the dormitory was in perfect order and he let them out into the rec area to watch T.V. before breakfast.

Once he was back in his office, he checked his mail box for his paycheck, as he did every Friday. Besides his paycheck, there was an interoffice envelope underneath with his name on it. There was no name on the line above it, it was a new envelope, so he didn't know who sent it. Before he could open it, a loud shout was heard from the common area as two inmates were squared off in bladed stances. Before he could react, the taller of the two inmates took a swing at the smaller, stockier one and the fight was on.

Brothers pulled out his radio and barked, "Fight in Dorm North 3, send additional units!"

Knowing that it might take a minute or two before they would respond, Brothers stepped out of his office and commanded in a loud, threatening voice, "Stop fighting, now!"

The smaller of the two immediately dropped his hands and took a step back. The taller one, seeing his advantage, smashed the inmate in the nose, breaking it and sending blood everywhere. After being hit, the injured inmate crumpled to the ground.

Angry, but not surprised, Brothers barked at the standing inmate, "Carlton, get on the ground, now!"

Carlton did no such thing and started to move towards Brothers. "What you gonna do if I don't, motherfucker?" he asked menacingly.

"You don't want to find out," Brothers answered. "Get on the ground, now, before you get hurt."

"Fuck you, you skinny motherfucker, do something about it!" Carlton said as he rushed forward.

Elaine heard the radio traffic in the employees lunchroom as the officers rushed out of the room to the third floor. She wasn't sure, but instinctly, she knew that it was Brothers calling the distress signal. She hurried to Rose's classroom, whom she found sitting at her desk.

"Was that Ben?" she asked breathlessly.

"Yeah, it was him. Don't worry, this happens every once in a while. Inmates get riled up and start fighting. Ben'll be fine. He called the signal and everyone will be there to help him."

"I hope he's okay," Elaine said to no one in particular.

Carlton was quicker than Brothers anticipated and the distance between them shrunk rapidly. "Back off!" Brothers warned when the irate inmate was within ten feet of him.

"Fuck you, bitch. Try to stop me." Carlton rushed forward again, planted his foot, spun and delivered a side kick to Brothers' face, cutting his cheekbone. Brothers was knocked backwards, off balance, but the blow really didn't hurt him seriously. He was surprised at the skill and quickness of Carlton, but that would be the last blow that Carlton would land. He rushed forward once more, trying to take advantage of Brothers being off balance, and prepared to strike him with his right fist. Brothers saw it coming and quickly went on the offensive, blocking the blow with his left arm and immediately kneeing Carlton in the groin. As Carlton pitched forward, Brothers drove him to the ground with an elbow to his spine. Once on the ground, Brothers jumped on his back and planted his knee into his neck, effectively holding him in place until God and His Brigade arrived seconds later.