Can We Erase All The Bad Things We Said In Anger?

Beads of hot sweat dripped down to the glowing block underneath her. EDM blared while everyone stared at the mysterious woman riding the glow-in-the-dark aqua dildo. Silver spikes and hoops pierced through various parts of her toned and lightly tanned body. The flashing lights flickered across her bright pink lips, slid over her hard nipples, and even caught the sight of the delicate ring between her legs with every grind against the silicone dildo.

Her brown hair was normal compared to the rainbow sea of heads intently watching her, but I found it incredibly sexy when she wrapped it around her long, metal clad fingers. Her flailing body was adorned with white fur boots, orange fishnet thigh highs ripped at both knees, and stacks of fluorescent bracelets on each thin wrist that looked as if they were from one of those toy vending machines. But, the thing that caught my attention the most was the string of candy wrapped tight around her delicate neck. I licked my lips slightly and thought of nibbling that necklace. Thought of how delicious the skin underneath it would be. That thought alone clouded my mind more than the dense and humid club air.

She was the most beautiful thing in this arena of debauched childhood memories. She was also completely off-limits. Well...at least for now anyway.

Yaz and I have known each other since we were kids and even lived next door to each other. We were practically stuck at the hip, as our mothers would affectionately say. Playing outside all day long to our religious watching of Saturday morning cartoons together to sleep-away camp and after school sports, we were basically inseparable. We were each other's first for everything and neither of us would ever admit our attraction for each other, knowing deep down of the magnetic pull between us.

Finally, halfway through our first year in college after years of failed relationships and pent-up sexual tension, we decided to bite the bullet and try our luck as a couple. Two years of the most aggravating relationship I've ever experienced and we decided to part ways, taking a break while we "found ourselves" during the rest of college. What a load of shit. We were young, dumb and too immature to make the relationship work, so running from it was our only option. Now, that we were older, I was determined to make it right. Hopefully she was willing to do the same.

I looked up and chuckled at the painted grey brick wall behind her, playing an episode of Ren & Stimpy from a projector high above the club. It was one of our favorite cartoons as kids, even if our parents kind of told us not to watch it. Rubbing my eyes from the blinding flashes of light, I looked down just in time to see her body convulse with flooding pleasure for the third time that night. Juices flowed down the dildo onto the box as her long zebra nails gripped the tops of her thigh highs; cheers and catcalls goading her on to a fourth time.

Even with the white contacts covering her beautiful brown eyes, I could tell how blown out they probably were from the intense shivers that ran throughout her body. Fuck, I wanted to be that dildo.

From one song right into another, the beginning rolls of her hips pumped up the crowd around her while helping me to remember all the times I dug my fingers deep into those hips. It reminded me of being deep inside her, fucking her into that uncomfortable twin mattress, until all hours of the night while her roommate was out...somewhere. Sometimes drunk on the combination of stolen beer and wine coolers, sometimes sober as a bad movie played on the small TV on her dresser, but always hot and fast and full of so much passion.

Though, whether it was was love or not...? Might be best to leave those memories in the past for now.

Her head finally turned in my direction. White eyes blankly stared at me as her hands traced over every single curve, hypnotizing me into wishing they were mine. It definitely worked. It also worked for the many people around her as moans and screams carried almost as loud as the blasting beat. Working her way closer to a fourth orgasm, I decided I needed something a lot stronger than the watered down beer warming in my hand.

Wading my way through the intoxicated crowd—everyone dressed in either various forms of 90's attire, neon or barely anything at all—the distant pulsing lights that shined from the circular bar had me sighing with relief. I needed another drink bad if I was going to get through the rest of the night or just have the strength to get through our inevitable conversation. Beginning with a rum and coke, I leaned back against the bar and continued to watch my neon wet dream as she circled her fingers over her red, violated clit; rhythmic music guiding her hips up and down on the soaked toy.

I didn't care about the people around me waiting for their drinks when I moved my hand over the visible bulge behind my black jeans. I just cared about relieving the strained pressure and the massive pain from my fucking zipper. It only did a small amount to relieve my discomfort, but was brought right back when I saw the fingers between her legs now sliding between her swollen lips, sucking and licking as if it was the most delicious dessert and she couldn't get enough of it.

Slowly grinding my palm discretely against the bulge, her eyes found me again and I couldn't stop the low groan from slipping out of my mouth. She bobbed her head up and down on her fingers, saliva and juices coating the digits, then slowly dragged her tongue up the underside of her fingers. The reminder of that small silver ball teasing the head of my cock tightened my hand around the painful bulge and caused me to moan louder than I expected.

"Hey!" the bartender shouted behind me, pointing to my drink. I turned around and dug my other hand into my pocket, taking out my wallet and handed him the money for the drink. He walked away, side-eyeing me until he couldn't see me anymore. What the hell was his problem?

It pissed me off even more when I looked over and saw she was gone; replaced by a bleach-blonde girl dancing not too far from where she was, clad in just a black leather and silver studded bikini and matching over the knee boots. I quickly slammed back the drink and went off to find her, half wanting to talk with her and half wanting to run. Fuck that, I wasn't leaving here until we found the conclusion we both needed. Looking around at the intoxicated crowd, I don't think I was ready to accept what that conclusion was just yet.

After spending what felt like hours finding her, I saw her standing in a dark corner around a small group of people, laughing and chatting at a high table full of various multi-colored shots. A cloud of white smoke blew from her faded pink lips as she turned to hug someone that came up behind her. The delicate lotus blossom between her shoulder blades tempted me with more memories of being bent over her and biting that same tattoo in the heat of passion.

The same person said something that made everyone—including her—turn their heads towards me. Most either could have cared less or barely knew what was going on, but she threw back one of the shots and walked over to me with what looked to be determination in those blank eyes. Her nails dug into my hand when she grabbed it, silently pulling me through throngs of people, down dark halls, and finally opened a door painted the same dark purple as the cracked walls.

The only light in the small room was from blacklight bars, a few lava lamps around the room and the many glowing stars glued to the midnight walls and ceiling. That's fine, we didn't need much lighting for what I knew we both wanted to do.

She pushed me onto the barely covered mattress, hands on her hips as she stared down at me with those creepy, blank white eyes. Surprisingly, even if they did look a little creepy, the stare was kind of erotic with the intoxicated lust that I knew was behind them. Wasn't my ideal situation for our fated reunion, but since the amount of desire matched the copious amounts of alcohol flowing through our veins, I would've taken anything I could get at the moment. Plus, the thought of walking away from here with the most painful hard-on I've ever had, then going home to jack-off with some bad porno actually made me want to cry.

"Why are you here, Lo?" The voice was softer than I expected. Her white fur covered boot pressed over my strained cock, causing me to groan loud in the almost silent room—only the distant bass and the occasional loud and mostly sexual noises could be heard.

"Could ask you the same thing, Yaz. You're baked out of your fucking mind."

Her grin and the slow movement of her foot almost made me cum. "You don't seem to be too upset. Well, maybe a little frustrated from the looks of it. Guess you haven't cum yet, huh?"

"Waiting for the right moment."

"And what would that be, Lo? Buried deep inside me? Or maybe down my throat? Or should I make you cum inside my favorite pair of jeans?" Her throaty laugh was always so fucking hot. "I can't believe you actually wore them."

My groans grew into louder moans, spreading my legs a bit to try and relieve some of the pressure, but it only made her put her foot down onto the black and white tile floor. "Why are you here?" I asked again.

"Hanging out with some friends. We were at Rain til around midnight, but then decided we needed something a little more...entertaining. Were you entertained?" She threw her head back and giggled; her hair falling over her shoulder and showing off more of that candied neck I wanted to bite. "Guess I don't need to ask."

"We need to talk."

"Nooo...we really don't. We either need to fuck each other's brains out or you need to leave. I have this very nice buzz going on and I don't really want to ruin it by dealing with our petty drama."

"Yaz, it won't feel satisfying if we don't air out our drama first."

"Ohh...I beg to differ." Her hand slid down her stomach and between her legs, playing with herself as I could only sit back and watch. "You slamming your cock inside me right now would feel fucking fantastic. Right up against this paper-thin wall. All the people just on the other side walking by, listening to my loud moans, and hearing the wet slaps and the pounds of you fucking me. Don't you want that, Lo?"

"I want you."

She chuckled, her other hand running over her body; the silver ball on her tongue gently traced over her teeth before she bit her bottom lip. "I know you do, I saw you watching me. Did you miss me?"

Not being able to take it anymore, I unbuttoned my jeans and pulled out my cock. A small smirk curled my lips when I saw her eyes shift down to my stroking hand. "You know I did, baby."

Layers of tension built up between us—anger, frustration, lust—as our eyes met each others. I laid back on the uncomfortable mattress; vibes of college coming back to me. I closed my eyes and continued to stroke my cock while she starred in another one of my x-rated fantasies. My other hand moved over my stomach and chest, teasing myself into thinking it was her who was causing the pleasure currently running through my tingling veins.

"Why were we so stupid, Lo? We could've had this for the past four years, but we threw it all away."

"Youth does stupid things to the mind." I felt the familiar drops of precum onto my fist when I sped up my movements. "So does hormones."

She let out a long sigh followed by the sexiest, breathy moan I've ever heard. Turning my head, I heard her fall back onto the mattress next to me and watched her with hooded eyes while she twisted one nipple and slid two fingers inside of her wet hole. "Shit, just fuck me already," she said.

She really didn't know how bad I've wanted to these past four years. "Is that your desire for me talking?" I asked, slightly upset when she didn't say anything. Though, I didn't really expect her to say yes. "I didn't think so."

Her loud groan caused me to tighten my hand around my cock, unconcerned about the reason while I thought of her slowly riding me. "Why does it matter to you so much? You get to fuck me either way, we can deal with the other shit later if you really want."

"You want to know why it matters, Yaz? Because I still love you. I don't think I've ever stopped loving you, even after our last fight. And right now, it's really fucking frustrating seeing you completely baked, pleading me to fuck you when I know full well I should cut my losses and walk out of here. Except..." I growled low as pleasure took over and I felt that tightening feeling deep down inside. "Except I'm not that strong to turn my back on you."

Even with all the noises around us; distant music, cheers and laughter, the sound of my hand stroking my cock and her fingers fucking herself, the silence between us was deafening to the point of madness. Tension in various forms coiled all over my body; an oddly satisfying pain and pleasure helping to further my pleasure along.

"Please, Lo," she whimpered next to my ear, tears welling up over smudged kohl rimmed eyes. "Please. I'm so..."

I tried for as long as I could to hold out against her, but my patience wore thin and her vacant pleas were just enough to push me over the edge. Her blank eyes widened when I climbed over her, pulled her hand from between her legs and sucked on the sweet juices that dripped down the zebra nails. Fuck, I forgot how good she tasted. While I pulled the foil package out of my pocket, she helped to throw my shirt on the ground and slide my jeans down just enough for me to put on the condom.

"I've been thinking more and more about us recently," she said, leaning up to kiss me before I stopped her from continuing that bad idea.

"Don't. Just...don't, Yazmin."

I used the excuse of not being able to see the hurt in her eyes in an attempt to force myself not to care for her more than I already did. Sadly, the lies told to yourself were usually the most painful.

She slowly nodded her head and laid back onto the mattress, watching as I slowly slid my cock over her swollen clit. Fuck, I also forgot how amazing she felt.

"Don't be gentle," she said in a whispered moan.

Taking a deep breath, I calmed myself as she looked up at me with those blank eyes. This wasn't the Yaz I loved. This was someone else. I had to remember that. "Didn't plan on it, baby."

All my frustration and anger and hurt went into the thrust of my hips, groaning loud when her gorgeous breasts began to bounce. Leaning into her, I traced my tongue along her neck; the tantalizingly sugary sweet candy killing me faster than any poison could ever do. The mix of sweat and sex and that annoying familiar scent I onced craved had my hips bucking faster into her warmth, chasing something I knew I would never catch no matter how hard I fucking tried.

"Fuck!"

"Yes, Lo. Faster, harder...oh my god!" Soft fur teased my lower back as she wrapped her legs around my waist, stretched her arms over the mattress, and matched every one of my hard thrusts with faster rolls of her hips. "I cannot believe I was stupid enough to leave this."

Ignoring her comment, I leaned back down and ripped the necklace off with my teeth. Painful, biting sucks right under her chin and ear had her screaming just as I hit that spot I was so fucking sure would create stars in those dead eyes. At least I was able to make her feel something one last time. Possessed was a word that could describe both of us in that heated moment. Though, for very different reasons.

Every hard thrust, every scratch of her nails down my back, every uncomfortable spring digging into my knees and hands became cathartic, helping to rid the pain caused by our stupid mistakes. Her loud squeal when I bit down hard on her bare shoulder caused my rhythmic thrusts to lose its course and her to cum hard, her walls tightening around my throbbing cock. Not long after her, I found my own stars with the help of that fucking silver ball dragging slow over the head of my cock, exploding over a face I hardly knew anymore.

We laid there for what felt like forever. No touches, cuddles or soft kisses. Just two strangers who used each other to sate a craving so overwhelming and painful. Except, she took way more than I ever could. As we came down from our highs, our irregular breaths synced to one another, easing our inevitable descent back down to reality.

"You know, you're the only person who has made me feel this way." She stretched her naked body out as far as she could; a relaxed smile settled over her flushed face. "Shit, I feel so good right now."

"How often do you go out?"

The heavy sigh she let out answered every question I needed an answer for. "Don't start mincing words now, Lo. You mean how often am I high?"

"If that's your definition." I ran my fingers through my hair, feeling suffocated in this small room.

"I don't know," she said, flipping her hair over her shoulder as she rolled onto her side. "Depends. Once...twice...yeah twice a week."

Rolling off the mattress, I threw the used condom in the wire garbage basket and pulled on my jeans. It was difficult not to think of how many times she's lied to herself since we broke up. Maybe even before that. It was also hard not to see small slivers of the sweet, fun loving girl I knew back then, but just as hard to unsee the shell of that girl laying in front of me; naked, dead inside and a slave to her addictions.

Her hand grabbed mine when I went to grab my t-shirt off the ground. The contrast of warm skin and the cold metal of her many rings shocked me when she sat up and knelt in front of me on the mattress. "We should meet up sometime. I've missed you, it'll be nice to catch up."

"If you need someone," I said with a sigh. She needs to hear this. "I will always be there for you, Yaz. But, we will never have those memories back. It won't be the same between us ever again, and don't think for one minute I will become your glorified fuck buddy. If you can accept those terms, then you always know where to find me."

The realization of my speech set into her finally awaking mind. She let go of my hand and sat back on her feet, looking up at me with those blank eyes for most likely the last time. "Goodbye, Logan."

Wow, that stung more than I thought it would. Wish I could've seen that beautiful soul I knew was buried deep down inside her at least one more time. "Goodbye."

Walking out of the club doors and into the busy nightlife, the cool air helped calm my tense nerves and heated skin. It didn't do much to ease the pain in my chest or the burning in my stomach, but it was a start. A part of me wanted to know what she was going to say just as I took her on that uncomfortable mattress. Part of me wanted to know if any of her emotions were ever real. Another part of me wanted to just find another bar, drown my sorrows and forget everything about tonight...especially her.

Was there a way to erase your first love? Maybe someone should invent something for that.