Can't Hide the Truth Anymore

Over the next week I had tried to figure out a way to approach the subject with him. I had to find out if Gage was gay and if he was attracted to me at all. I tried to come up with other reasons Gage could have been on that website, but kept circling back to the same conclusion: Gage was gay. Or bi. My heart fluttered at the thought that I might have a chance with him.

One night I was so sexually frustrated, I had wandered into a gay chatroom that was only for men that attended my college. Sort of like our own little Frat. I used a fake name, too embarrassed to say who I was because I wasn't out, yet. I made a friend online and chatting came easy. We had a lot in common. He was hot for his roommate, too. Apparently I wasn't the only lovesick fool in the dorms.

I was careful not to ever say Gage's name. I didn't feel right about sharing that information. There were sort of unwritten rules in the chat room. It was a safe place to discuss things, but nobody was there to 'out' people who may or may not be gay.

For weeks I had wanted to share my feelings with Gage, but was afraid to scare him. He was so sweet and adorable and I felt like a big, dumb jock around him most of the time. But, I reminded myself, just because I was on the basketball team and liked to work out, didn't mean I wasn't smart. I know people assume jocks are dumb and hoped that Gage didn't think that. Gage had a brilliant mind and ever since meeting him, I had found myself working harder on my studies, looking things up to discuss with Gage and even watching a couple of documentaries that, surprisingly, were interesting. I felt like Gage was helping me grow, without him even realizing it.

Mark and I had become good "pen pals" over the last couple of weeks. One particularly lonely night I had floated the idea that we hook up and help each other over this issue. But in my heart, I didn't really want to. I only wanted to be with Gage. Thank goodness Mark had the sense to turn me down. But we remained friends.

And then tonight happened. I was just messaging with Mark and we had decided to meet when I noticed Gage grab his red Nike hoodie. At first I thought I was crazy. There was no way Gage was Mark, right? It was just my heart trying to grasp at simple coincidences.

But then he said he was going to the Commons. That was just too coincidental. My heart beat faster as I watched him go out the door. I waited a couple minutes to give him a head start. I wasn't sure what I was going to say when I got there, but I knew one thing: it was time to end this torture!

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Gage's POV

I was nervous as I entered the commons. I quickly scanned the area and decided to grab a soda while I waited. Within a few minutes I was sitting at a booth, my red hoodie still on, but the hood down so David could see my blonde hair. I looked around again. Not too busy tonight, I thought, which was good. I felt jittery. I wasn't really sure why. I was just meeting a friend. It's not like I was going on a date with Devin!

I took a deep breath and fiddled with my straw as my thoughts wandered to Devin. I wondered if he was still in our room. Now that I was away from him, all of my thoughts were about being back there with him. God, I was losing my fucking mind. I looked down as I realized I was rapidly bouncing my knee and tried to calm myself. I took another deep breath and heard a voice behind me. A voice I recognized.

"Mark?"

I turned a little in my seat and gasped. ItwasDevin. I felt my cheeks and ears turn red as tears sprang to my eyes. "What...what are you... how?" I was so mortified I couldn't get a coherent sentence out.

"Hey, it's okay, Buzz," Devin whispered as he slipped into the booth across from me and slid his hands towards the middle of the table as if reaching out for mine.

The dam broke and the tears poured from my eyes. I finally understood what it meant to feel your heart break, because mine shattered in my chest at that moment. My lungs felt tight, like I couldn't get enough air. "Why would you do such a thing to me? This is the cruelest thing anyone has ever done to me!" I tried to keep my voice hushed, but I was so angry and upset and hurt that my emotions were right on the edge. "How could you? How could you set me up like this? I hope you got a good laugh! I hope it was worth it!"

I knew I had to get the hell away from him. I stood up and ran out before he could say another word. I didn't want everyone to see my meltdown....well, anymoreof my meltdown.

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Devin's POV

I was shocked. It had never occurred to me that Gage would think this was a prank. I wanted to explain, but he had run out so quickly, I didn't get a chance. I stupidly sat still for about fifteen seconds before running after him.

By the time I got out the door, I didn't see Gage and was kicking myself for being an idiot. I scanned the area and caught a flash of red out of my eye and turned. It was him and he was running back across the grounds, already close to our dorm. I dashed after him, determined to fix this. I had never wanted to hurt him.

He was a fast runner, but Gage's short legs were really no match for my long ones and I caught up to him as he entered the dorm. I reached out to him, grasping the sleeve of his hoodie, but Gage whipped his head around and when he saw me he backed away forcefully. His face was a sea of emotions as I saw shock, fear, anger and even sadness fight for control. His dark lashes, wet with tears, only stood out more against his flushed skin. I wanted to reach up and soothe him; to cool his cheeks with my hands. But I couldn't. Not yet. I had to make him understand.

"Oh, god, Gage. I wasn't trying to hurt you!" I said, my clenched hands and pressed against my jeans. My heart was breaking. How had I fucked this up so badly?

Gage turned away from me and ran into an open elevator. There were several others already standing inside it and the sliding doors were just about to connect, when I slid my hand between them, causing them to reopen. People stepped back to make room for me, but I was barely aware of them. I only saw Gage.

"Please look at me!" I pleaded, trying to keep my voice low, but knew everyone could hear me. I didn't really care. "Please Gage! I didn't do this to hurt you...I would never hurt you." Giving in to the desire to touch him, I reached down and lifted Gage's chin with my hand until he was looking at me. God, the pain in his eyes was so raw. Tears stained his cheeks and his lips were trembling. "I would neverintentionallyhurt you. I am so, so sorry."

Gage's eyes swept from side to side, looking at anything and everything but me. He seemed to be weighing his words as he wiped at a straggling tear and nodded a little. "I know. I-I was just shocked. I trust you, Devin. I do. But... but the things I shared... I am mortified. I...I don't know what to say." His voice trailed off at the end and I knew he was close to sobbing again.

I think my heart started to beat again at that moment. He trusted me. There was hope. I smiled. "Don't you understand, yet?" I asked him softly as I cupped his cheeks with my hands, brushing away his tears with my thumbs.

Gage sniffled a little, still confused. His eyes peered into mine and I felt that he was looking into my soul. Never in my life had I felt that connection before. My heart thundered in my ears. The elevator had stopped on the next floor, but nobody was moving. Apparently our audience had no desire to stop watching us anytime soon. A student even pushed the button to hold the door open. No one stepped out. Gage looked like he was trying to figure out a puzzle in his head. "No. No, I don't understand why you would humiliate me." His voice was quiet; so sad. His eyes pleaded with me to make things better; to help him understand this. I looked back at him and felt myself fall deeper. Hell, I didn't just fall, I plummeted. Head first. There was no going back now.

"Gage, I didn't do it to hurt you. I did it because..." I took a deep breath.It was now or never,I told myself. "Because I am crazy about you! I didn't know how to tell you how I felt and it was easier this way. I didn't even know it was you I had been talking to until tonight." My words poured out as I finally was able to tell him how I felt.

There were a few gasps in the elevator and someone murmured, "This is so romantic."

I had almost forgotten we were in the elevator, but I kept my gaze on Gage. He looked as if he was trying to make sense of things. His eyes were wide as he stared at me.

"You... you're crazy about...about me?" Gage's voice was barely a whisper.

I nodded, smiling at him. My knees felt a little weak, but I needed him to know the truth. "It's more than that. I'm in love with you, Gage." My voice trembled and my body shook as I whispered my secret.

Gage rewarded me with a big smile this time. He reached out tentatively and pressed his hands against my chest. I knew he could feel my heart racing under my skin. "I love you, too, Devin," he whispered.

I leaned down and slid my arms around Gage's small waist and pulled him up off the ground, sweeping into his lips for a kiss. Just one light kiss was all I meant to take, but the second I felt Gage's soft lips I lost control and pressed into him.

I wasn't alone in my feelings, I realized, as I felt Gage shudder against me. Electricity coursed through us as we both leaned in for more. I nipped at his lips and felt Gage moan into my mouth.

Before I got completely carried away, I pulled back and looked at the sexy man in my arms. His eyes were half-closed and his pink lips were wet from our kiss. I almost groaned out loud.

My eyes swept the elevator and I realized we were putting on a show. I let Gage slide back down to the floor, feeling his hard little body glide along mine, but I didn't let go. I pulled him close and smiled down at him and then looked back at the crowd, shooting them an "I DARE you to say one ugly word to us" look. Nobody seemed to be upset.

In fact, I realized that one of my basketball teammates was on the elevator and he was grinning. I smiled back and turned away. I didn't care who knew. Actually, scratch that. I did care. I wanted everybody to know I was in love with Gage. And that he was mine.

Two girls finally moved to step out of the elevator and before the doors closed, the blonde turned and spoke. "I hope that I find a man as crazy about me! That was beautiful!"

She was right. Loving him was a beautiful thing. I would do anything to show him that. And he loved me! My heart was doing a jig as I realized how silly we had been to hide our feelings. I wanted to make up for lost time, starting immediately!

The elevator was quiet, but we both knew everyone was still watching us. The doors opened on our floor and I grabbed Gage's hand and pulled him down the hall to our door. My hands were shaking so badly, I barely got the key in the knob. But it finally clicked and I was able to push the door open, pulling Gage with me into our darkened room.

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Gage's POV

Devin pressed me roughly against the back of the door as it closed. His lips pressed against mine in a passionate kiss. He was aggressive as he took possession of my mouth, his tongue sliding between my lips and tangling with mine. I slid my arms around Devin's neck and held on as the man of my dreams pulled me up off the ground until I was level with him. I loved it and tried to press harder into his chest, while I wrapped my legs around his waist.

Devin pulled back a little and tugged at my bottom lip with his teeth. "Damn! I have wanted to taste you for so long, Gage."

I heard him moan right before he claimed my mouth again, his lips pressing against mine with an urgency I had never experienced. His hot tongue swept into my mouth again and when it touched my tongue, I almost jumped at the heat and desire I felt. He was wild with his need as he plunged his tongue in over and over into my mouth, while his hands roamed over my neck and twisted into my hair, tilting my head a little. When I felt his hand in my hair, pulling hard, I moaned loudly. It was so hot and his touch was driving me mad!

He pulled back a little and looked at me. "Mm, you like that? You like it when I pull your hair?"

I tried to speak, but it came out as a groan as he began to place small, hot little kisses down my cheek. "Ungh."

Devin chuckled into my cheek as he kept up his assault on my skin, raining kisses along my jaw, down my neck and then stopped and nipped at the curve in my neck, before suckling that sweet spot at the base of my neck. I gasped and he sucked a little harder, pulling my skin into his hot, wet mouth.

Our eyes had adjusted to the darkness a little and Devin stepped back, pulling me with him, until we were at my bed. Gently, he turned around and pushed me back onto the bed. I moved until I was stretched out on my side and patted the space next to me.

Devin sat down and we stared into each other's eyes for a minute. The room felt energized; heated.

"Is this really happening?" I whispered.

"Nothing is going to happen that you don't want to happen, ok? We stop anytime you say. You are in control, Gage." Devin's voice was husky. Low.

I trusted him, but also knew there was no way I could keep myself from giving myself over completely to Devin if he wanted me. I needed him and that raw need drove me forward. I grabbed his hand and pulled him down, feeling him sink into the bed next to me. I nuzzled into his neck and nibbled on his smooth skin. He moaned quietly. I flicked small feathery licks up his neck to his jawline while I ran my fingers up into his soft, silky hair. God, how many times had I wanted to do this? I felt empowered as he leaned into me and I reached up and licked his earlobe before suckling it gently.

I heard a sharp intake of breath before his whispered words blew across my skin. "Gage... oh, god, Gage..."

I smiled again and grew bolder, letting my hands slide over his shoulders and down his arms. Suddenly, Devin grabbed me around the waist and pulled me on top of him, moving so that his back was pressed against the bed and I was held tightly against his chest. His body was hard everywhere and I felt almost drunk with lust as I pulled back and looked at him.

"You drive me crazy, Gage," he growled out. "I have spent months devouring you in my dreams. Fuck! Everything you do turns me on.Everything,Gage." He whispered his words into the dark as he slid his hands around to my back and began tugging at my hoodie.

I knew what he wanted and sat up, straddling his flat stomach, helping him yank the hoodie off and letting Devin toss it across the room. I leaned down to nibble on his neck and Devin's hands stopped me. "I need to touch you. Please. Please let me touch your skin, Gage. I need it." His hands played at the hem of my t-shirt, wanting to lift it up, but waiting for me to give him permission.

Hearing Devin's husky voice as he whispered his need excited me. I have never felt sexy in my life, but clearly Devin thought I was. I felt almost euphoric as I helped him lift my shirt over my head and toss it on the ground, feeling his hands skim my chest as my shirt rose to reveal more and more skin. I stilled for a moment, letting this sexy man look at my body. For the first time in my life, I could see that someone appreciated my body; that he took pleasure from seeing me and touching me. I felt desired and gave in to the sensations churning through my body. Devin's eyes darkened as his hands trailed across my chest and down to my stomach and back up. My body literally hummed with desire.

I gasped as Devin's fingers flicked against my sensitive nipples, a personal hot spot for me.

"You like that?"

"God, yes," I sighed as Devin swirled his fingers around my nipples. His feathery light touches made me hungry for more and I moaned loudly.

"Oh, god! If you moan like that again I am going to lose my mind!" Devin's voice was strained, almost hoarse as he spoke.

I smiled, feeling almost powerful hearing those words from Devin. "You have some catching up to do, Devin." I curled my fingers under the collar of Devin's shirt and pulled at it. "Don't you think this needs to come off?" I was surprised at my boldness, but his hunger for me was a potent aphrodisiac and I wanted more.

Devin couldn't move fast enough, pulling himself up to a sitting position and raising his hands up, giving me the treat of undressing him. I slid my hands down and then lifted his shirt off over his head and dropped it to the floor, joining my discarded clothes. My breath froze as I stared at his perfect chest. He was so toned; so hard. I tentatively reached out to run my fingers through that beautiful, thick chest hair that I had fantasized over for months and moaned low as I realized the reality was so much better than my fantasies.

He trembled at my touch and I stared up into Devin's eyes. They were shining with lust. Lust we no longer had to hide from each other. Devin slid his arms around my waist. I stayed quiet and didn't move for a moment.

"What's wrong, Gage?" Devin's voice was a husky whisper.

I leaned into his embrace and laid my head on Devin's shoulder. "Nothing's wrong. Absolutely nothing. Everything is perfect. Better than I dreamed," I whispered against his soft skin.

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Devin's POV

I smiled and leaned my face into Gage's hair, breathing in his scent. I didn't have to hide my attraction to him anymore. "Your scent drives me crazy, you know. I can't get enough of it."

Gage pulled back. "Really?" He laughed. "I thought I was the only one who did that. Your smell is heaven. I love when you come back from working out and the whole room smells like you. God, it turns me on!" Gage chewed on his bottom lip for a moment. "Okay, maybe that sounded a little weird. Crap... I shouldn't let you know how crazy I am right from the get go...I-"

He was so fucking cute when he babbled! I growled and pulled him hard against my mouth for a passionate kiss, interrupting his verbal torrent. I slanted my mouth over Gage's over and over and pushed my tongue through our parted lips, tasting the honeyed sweetness of his mouth. I felt Gage moan into my mouth and I slid one hand into his hair again, tugging and pulling until his neck was arched and open for me. I moved down and suckled that sweet spot again and felt a shudder go through Gage.

Our chests rubbed together and I felt the friction build, loving the feeling of Gage's smaller body against mine. My cock was rock hard and I ached to be completely naked with him. I needed full skin on skin contact.

"I need to touch you, baby," I groaned out. He pulled back a little and looked at me. He knew exactly what I meant and rolled to his side. His hands were at his waistband, but I placed my hand on his, stopping him from going any farther. Instead, I whispered for him to stand up next to the bed. He did and I sat in front of him, my hands on his either side of his waist.

I felt Gage trembling and worried about him. I knew he was a virgin. "We can stop any time you want, Gage." And I would, even though I wanted him more than anything in the world.

"No!" Gage said loudly. "I... I want you, Devin. I just...don't know if I am ready for... for" he paused, unable to look me in the eye for a minute before whispering his last word, "sex."

My body ached for him, but I also wanted him for more than a one-night stand. Hell, I was fucking crazy about him. I want his first time to be special.

"I agree," I whispered back. "Let's not rush everything at once."

He exhaled. "Are you upset with me?"