Caroline Ch. 13.02

She seemed like a young girl. Do you know I don't think she'd ever behaved like that before! "Oh Lena, is it always like that? Do they always behave in that way?"

"Yes they do when they see attractive women, especially women who flirt with them."

"I didn't did I, I didn't mean to?"

I laughed, "Gianna, you can't help it. You look lovely tonight and they noticed. They all wanted you tonight you know," I said seriously, "you could have had any of them." Then I laughed, "As for Giuseppe (that was the owner), well he was eating out of your hand."

Suddenly she looked shocked, "Are you serious. I didn't want any of them. I wasn't thinking of that. Oh dear." She looked at me sadly. "I'm not very experienced at this sort of thing Lena. That is the first time I've ever been out without a man, I mean in that situation."

"I guessed as much," I said softly. "I wanted you to see, to understand that you are an attractive woman. They didn't want me tonight, they wanted you. They all saw you as an experienced, mature woman and a beautiful one at that."

She looked at me wide-eyed and I realised that I had managed to get through to her, to make her understand. Just another little push on the way to her having Mike. We chatted and drank our liqueurs then went to bed. As I sipped mine I remembered last week and what Mike did with his. Oh I couldn't wait for Monday week!

On Thursday I took Gianna out onto the lake. The weather wasn't marvellous, thin sun, but it wasn't too bad. She enjoyed herself again. She seemed to be revelling in the freedom, freedom to be herself. I'd insisted that she wear the new suit we'd bought yesterday, another outfit that made her look really lovely. She turned heads all day, looking sophisticated and sexy although she didn't realise it I think!

We cooked a meal that evening so we could keep some hot for Mike. He'd phoned from the airport in England saying that he would be quite late and it was nearly 11 o'clock before he got in. He looked tired and he was hungry.

He threw his arms around me and kissed me hard on the mouth. "Bloody hell," he said, "I've missed you angel. Did you miss me?"

I smiled, "Of course I did silly even though you did phone me every night."

Then he turned to Gianna. She was funny, looking at him coyly and I could tell he was just a little bit unsure of himself. He walked over to her, held her shoulders and kissed her softly. It was as if he didn't want to hold her too closely for fear of what might happen. She held herself away from him as well. I sighed inwardly, I was going to have some trouble with these two, I could tell!

We prepared his meal and we chatted as he ate. "I'll tell you all about England tomorrow," he said between mouthfuls. "A lot happened but it was very successful. The house is looking good Lena, almost finished, and Jo's getting it all shipshape." He didn't say much more, his eyes did all they talking. He was looking at me in that way of his and he made me go all funny inside, just like normally. I was only sorry I couldn't be with him properly.

What was funny was watching Gianna watch him. I know he's written about how women watch men eating when they fancy them. I think it is true. It's sort of like, making sure he's OK I suppose. I can't explain it really but I know I do it when I feel really hot for him, so does Jo and now Gianna was watching every mouthful. He must have felt it somehow because he turned to her and said, "Gianna, thank you for coming up here with Lena. Has she made you welcome?"

Gianna smiled, "Yes," she said looking at me, "we've had a good time haven't we Lena?"

"Mmm," I said smiling back, "we've even bought Gianna some new clothes haven't we?"

This made her blush, she must have remembered the underwear.

"What sort of things?" asked Mike.

She prevaricated, "Oh lots of, errrrmmm, things. You know, clothes."

He raised his eyebrows and looked at me. "Yes," I said, "I wanted to buy some new clothes for Gianna. Is that all right?"

"Of course angel, of course. Now, you two lovely ladies, I need to go to bed." He looked at me, "And I need to hold my beloved," he said.

Oh my God, wasn't he fabulous!!!! I forgot all about Gianna and just held him and cried softly into his shoulder, "Oh," I sobbed quietly, "I've missed you so."

"Mmm," he said, "I've missed you."

I suddenly thought of Gianna. This must be hell for her, watching us like this so I thought it time to go to bed. She looked quite sad, sad I think that he wasn't talking to her like that but it was all grist to the mill of my plan. I was pretty sure she wouldn't be able to resist him now. It was OK before wasn't it, easy to put her desire behind her because it wasn't possible even though I'd said it was OK. But now it was possible, whenever she wanted so I thought she would succumb.

We didn't clear up just went to bed. I cuddled up to him and he was asleep in no time. Mind, he did wake me in the middle of the night. He must have been having a very naughty dream because he was as hard as iron and fondling my boobs. That's nice isn't it, when that happens, but I couldn't help him, didn't want to really. I wanted him to be keen tomorrow, keen enough to want Gianna – not that he needed to be that keen anyway but he hadn't had sex since the DP with Amy and he must have been feeling quite randy.

I was up first on Friday, a miserable morning with rain pouring down. I pottered in the kitchen getting breakfast ready when Gianna joined me. Guiltily I remembered last night.

"Oh Gianna," I said as I hugged her, "I'm sorry about last night, it was thoughtless to behave like that in front of you but, but, well, you know . ." I finished lamely.

She smiled her sad smile, "I understand," she said, "yes I was upset but not for long. He loves you so much doesn't he. Lena, I don't want to jeopardise that."

"You want him then, want him back loving you?"

Her sadness deepened. "Yes, yes I want him to love me like that, like he used to do but can he? Can he really love two women like that? Lena I'm frightened. Frightened that if I say yes and have him it will cause harm, harm to you, to Joanna and Guy, and to Silvio." She started to cry softly. Oh heck, I thought, I hope Mike doesn't come down yet. I realised that today was going to be difficult. He would pick up the atmosphere very quickly and we couldn't really go out because of the weather. I needed to try and get Gianna to calm down.

I held her apart and looked deep in her eyes. "Gianna, Gianna," I said, "of course you're frightened, worried about how things will turn out but think of him, me and yourself. I know he wants you and I know he still loves you, he just has to let go of the restrictions he placed on himself, and I know he loves me. Joanna agrees with me, she wants you to be with him if you want, you deserve some happiness and, as for Guy," I smiled, "he will want what Jo wants. Anyway, he's certain to be happy that his mother and father are 'together' isn't he?"

I saw a glimmer of hope in her eyes, "Lena, do you think, really, that it would be all right?"

"Yes I do. Gianna it's a risk, of course it is, we're talking about emotions here but I have so much confidence in him, his ability to love. Anyway, it will be difficult for you both you know. Back home or at Nardo's there wasn't any possibility of you getting back together but here, well here you can any time. I'm not sure either of you will be able to deal with that."

She looked worried again, I suspect this aspect hadn't occurred to her at all. Although I'd said she could have Mike when we spoke before the blessing there was no immediate prospect of that happening was there, so she didn't have to deal with it, or the repercussions. Well now she did and so did he. Here we were, the three of us. He hadn't had sex for over a week and, although he went without for a long time after his divorce, he certainly hadn't been without since we first slept together! And, after last night I was sure he was very, very hot. He would be close to Gianna, see her in her dressing gown, imagine her. I didn't think he could hold out, he would want her but he wouldn't make a move unless she said so. I suspected she would be the same, casting her mind back to the times they were together.

She seemed to have calmed somewhat so I said to her, "Gianna, don't rush things just be your normal self today. I don't want to force you, if you want him tell me," I smiled, "he won't say no, of that I'm certain, but he will be worried as well. Are you OK now?"

She took a deep breath, "Yes," she said with a smile, "Lena, you have a way of making things seem simple." With that we continued to get breakfast ready together. Mike came down, hugged and kissed me then seemed to remember Gianna. I could see he was having difficulty in handling his feelings so I thought I'd just prompt him a little.

"Don't forget to kiss Gianna," I said smiling at him and pointing him in her direction. She looked somewhat coy as he crossed and pecked her cheek.

"Morning Gianna it's good of you to stay with Lena like this." he said smiling awkwardly at her. She smiled back. She seemed a bit more confident now as she said to him, "Thank you Mike, I've enjoyed myself. It's been nice to get to know her better."

He looked puzzled, aware I think that something was happening that he wasn't aware of, but he put it behind him. He was used to my planning after all. After breakfast we all got dressed. Mike followed me into the bedroom and held me close.

"God I've missed you," he said as he kissed me.

I laughed, "I know," I said, "I could tell in the middle of the night." He looked puzzled. "I think you must have been dreaming about me, it certainly felt like it," I laughed looking down.

He laughed, "Oh Lena, I am sorry but, well since we've been together I've had so much sex I suppose I miss it. Still," he added, "not long to go now!"

"No," I said smiling sexily at him, "but if we don't find some way to ease the pressure I'm not going to get much sleep. Looks like a hand job tonight," I added stroking him between his legs.

"Bugger, Lena. God you are so, so sexy," he said as he swept me into his arms. I would willingly have taken him then and there but the baby so I pushed him away.

"Now, now," I said laughing, "you'll have to wait. Unless," and now to start the ball rolling, "you want Gianna," I ended softly as I pulled him back to me.

I couldn't see his face now but I felt him tense and a sharp intake of breath. I suspect he had been keeping these type of thoughts buried deep inside but now he had to face them.

"You do want her don't you?" I said as I held him at arms length and looked into his eyes.

He sort of looked desperate, as if he wasn't his own man, as if he wanted something but didn't, if you know what I mean.

"Lena, oh Lena. I'm so frightened. I've tried not to think about it. Dammit, of course I want her," he said frustrated, "I can't, I won't lie to you Lena but to go down that route, to think about it too much, opens so many doors, awakens such strong feelings. It terrifies me Lena, what it might do to us, to my feelings for you. God I love you so much I can't afford anything that threatens that, threatens us but I do want her. Seeing her this morning, there how I used to see her in the mornings. Lena, Lena, I'm not sure I can cope with this."

"You can," I said to him, "I know you can. You said you could only love one woman the way you love me. I don't think that's true. I think you can love us both. Oh Mike she's so sad, she's growing old before her time." I told him about buying the clothes (not the underwear though!) and about her behaviour at dinner on Wednesday. "She's got such a wonderful personality but she hides it. I don't know why. She doesn't smile very much does she, I don't think she's very happy and she does love you, you know, still loves you as much as she did, probably even more. Oh Mike it's so unfair! I keep thinking how I would feel in her position. I'd be jealous, horribly jealous but she isn't. Oh Mike, you must try."

He held me so tight then and whispered in my ear. "Lena, Lena you're such a generous person and you have such faith in me. I don't know whether I have such faith in myself. Lena, I'm scared, scared of Gianna, of my feelings for her. Let's see how today goes can we?"

"Mmm, OK," I said, "but Mike you must be nice to her. I know it's going to be difficult for you. You have the opportunity here, opportunity you never had in England or at Nardo's. Just try and be normal with her, your normal self." I smiled at him, "That's what she loves you know, your normal self. Be nice to her."

He smiled and held me again, "Yes," he said, "I'll be nice to her. Heck, she is lovely isn't she?"

I laughed now, he seemed back in control, "Yes, she is," then coyly, "does she like girls?"

"Lena," he said pretending shock, "you don't fancy her do you?"

"Silly," I laughed back at him, "'she is lovely isn't she'," I echoed his words back at him.

"I don't know," he said seriously, "I don't suppose she's ever had the opportunity. You do don't you, you fancy her."

Now I thought I might have upset him. "I'm sorry," I said, "oh I am sorry."

He hugged me tight, "Don't be silly, if I can fancy her I'm sure you can as well. Perhaps when we get back to England you should ask her over to stay?" he said smiling.

"Now there is a thought," I said smiling.

Gianna was in the lounge and I was pleased to see that she was wearing one of the dresses we'd bought on Wednesday. Most of her own clothes were a bit dour, dark, and didn't show off her looks or her figure very well. This dress did. Cut tight at the waist, it showed off her body nicely and the colours, light pastel shades, complemented her dark complexion and black hair. I noticed she'd also used a tiny bit of make-up, something she hadn't done before. She seemed more confident, as if she'd made up her mind about something. I was sure she had decided to take the risk!

"You look lovely this morning Gianna," he said as we came in, "is that one of the new dresses."

She smiled demurely at him. Yes, she has, I thought to myself. "Yes, do you like it?"

He smiled, "Yes, very much. I'm looking forward to seeing the other things." That made her blush just a touch, well she wasn't really used to playing the coquette was she?

"Plenty of time for that," I butted in, "what are we going to do today? Look at this bloody weather." It was our first really bad day at the villa, but it wasn't surprising this late in the year.

"Music, food, and drink," he said laughing, "a long lunch and an even longer dinner."

"That sounds good to me," I said laughing back, "how about you Gianna?

"Yes, music, food, and drink and good company," she said smiling at us both. Mike spent the morning telling us about England and the new people he and Guy had met. I was interested in the young woman he mentioned. I could tell she'd made quite an impression on him. So the day went by. We chatted, listened to music – I was surprised to find that Gianna liked opera, particularly Italian Opera. Evidently she'd enjoyed it from an early age. We had a long lunch with quite a lot to drink and then a lazy afternoon with me laying on the sofa with my head on his lap. He did a lovely thing as we got comfortable.

"Gianna," he said smiling at her as she sat on her own on the other settee, "why don't you come over here and sit with us?" and he held his arm open to welcome her. I was so, so pleased! I turned my head on his lap and I could see she wanted to but she didn't, you know, just like him earlier.

"Oh do come over Gianna, he's nice and warm." In truth, it was a bit chilly despite the central heating. She suddenly made up her mind, crossed her Rubicon I suppose because I doubt there was any going back if she did, and came over to sit on his other side. Hesitantly he put his arm around her and then some of the barriers were broken down as he held her and she rested her head on his shoulder rather like Jo did. I could feel the tension in him however and the beating of his heart, fast now as she was close. Don't push it, I thought, they've got this far.

I think we must have all gone to sleep for a while, well I did anyway. It is so nice, comfortable and warm. I felt loved as his hand rested on my tummy, almost as if he was feeling for the baby. I awoke after a while with cramp in my back. Gianna had snuggled up close to him with her head nestled deep in his neck. She was asleep with a soft, satisfied smile on her face. I hoped she'd have an even bigger smile soon! I think Mike was dozing, not quite asleep, not quite awake.

"Mike, Mike," I whispered, "wake up."

He smiled and looked down without disturbing Gianna. "Shusssh," he said, "she's asleep."

"I know," I smiled, "and she looks happy."

"Does she," he said, "I can't see. Lena, Lena, it feels so good to have the both of you like this. Could I do it?"

I sat up and looked at him. "Of course you can," I said smiling and giving him a gently kiss, "you can do anything!"

He laughed, "Lena, you are priceless!"

"I know, but you love me don't you?"

"More than anything, yes I do." Then he was serious again, "Lena, I'm scared," he whispered, "the feelings are so strong and they're waking up."

"Don't be worried, I'm here to help you. I love you as well you know. I can help," and I rested my head on his shoulder and held him. We sat like that for quite a while as Gianna seemed to try to get even closer to him in her sleep. She must have been dreaming because her face kept on changing, her smile growing broader. She licked her lips a couple of times and I suspected her dreams were quite interesting. Pretty soon it was time to get dinner ready, doesn't the day go quickly when you're happy doing nothing!

He woke Gianna, softly calling her name, and kissed her cheek. His whole attitude to her was changing subtly as he began to believe he might be able to deal with his emotions. She woke, looked at him and blushed a deep red – her dreams had been interesting I think, and he noticed as well. He pulled his arm from around her, embarrassed I think at her reaction and said, "Lena says it's time to get dinner," he laughed to ease the tension, "who's cooking tonight?"

"We'll do it shall we Gianna?" I said, wanting to get them apart for a while.

"Mmm," she said, "let's do something special." So off we went into the kitchen to cook for our man!

"Well?" I said when we got there, "how do you feel now?"

"Oh Lena, Lena, I want him so much. Can I? Can I really? Oh, I don't know. Is it right? It's not is it? Is it?"

I smiled at her, "Gianna, you are babbling. It's right if you both want it. You're married only in name now. Gianna," I said holding her tightly, "your marriage died twenty years ago didn't it? Since then you've been living a lie. You don't love Silvio, now you don't even sleep with him. Put it behind you. Oh I don't mean leave him, I know you would never do that, but don't let him, your marriage, or your beliefs hold you back, stop you from being YOU. He wants you now. He's very close to loving you properly again. Can't you feel it, you must have being close to him like that."

She took a deep breath, "Yes, I can feel it and it frightens me. Lena these feelings are so strong." She looked forlorn, "I've ached for him for 20 years Lena, can you imagine what that's like? And now, now I have the chance and it scares me. I'm 20 years older, so is he. He has you, what if he doesn't like me, you know, like that, now he has you. Lena, I'm frightened," she said beginning to cry.

I held her tightly too me. They were difficult those two. They had so many fears. I suppose it was because their love was so powerful. That power fuels the fear of rejection and all the other possibilities.