Caroline Ch. 14.04-14.05

"Silvio," I said pensively, "you never loved Gianna did you?"

He thought for a moment, "No," he said sadly, "no, not really. It was arranged you see, a debt of honour. Oh she was lovely, a young flower to be plucked. Exquisite in every way, but she never loved me you see. I could tell that. It wasn't her fault. She was sent here by her family for me. She has been a good wife to me, dutiful and honourable." He sighed, "It would be wrong of me to stand in the way of her happiness now, towards the end of my life." He looked at me, "I am old little one, very old, and I am tired," he said, then he perked up and smiled, "mind, you can make any man feel young." He put his arms around me and squeezed gently. I was nice, not sexy. I didn't feel that way about him, I felt sad and I felt happy at the same time.

"Now, now," I said laughing and getting off his lap, "I don't want you getting excited!"

He laughed his great big laugh and everything seemed to be all right. Gianna came in with the coffee, her eyebrows raised in question, just as Mike brought her cases in.

"What have you two been up to?" she said quizzically with a smile on her face.

"Oh, nothing," I said, "just talking." With that we sat a had a coffee together before Mike and I left. They said goodbye in the hall, a long kiss and a tight hug.

"See you Saturday," I said as I left, "Guy will come and pick you up. We'll phone every night."

We dashed home, changed (I couldn't possibly go dressed like I was), and had a quick lunch before we all left for the clinic. Jo didn't look any better and Guy looked worried sick. I was worried as well, not about myself but about Jo.


Chapter 14.5

In which Caroline and Jo visit the pre-natal clinic

As before in Italy, we had to have loads of tests before we saw Mary and Jo looked even worse by then. We asked to see her together because, well we were all interested in each other and it seemed simpler that way.

"Well," said Mary, "let's deal with Caroline first. It really is as Dr. . . . . . . says in her letter. I think you were born to have babies. I've never seen anyone healthier after IVF than you. No problems, the baby is fine and so are you." I felt relief at that and I could see Mike did as well but we were still worried about Joanna.

"Joanna," Mary said, "well, you're suffering from a major vitamin deficiency and the failure of your body to adjust to the pregnancy." She smiled, "Yes, you are pregnant but it's as if the right procedure button hasn't been pressed so your body doesn't realise that changes are taking place. It's not reacting properly and that's causing the vitamin deficiency." She looked round at us then at Jo who, by now, was looking very frightened.

"Oh dear," said Mary, "it isn't anything to worry about! It's not that common but it's not that rare and it only happens with the first. We can deal with it quite easily because we understand completely what's happening." I felt as if a weight had been lifted off my mind. Guy looked bemused and Mike looked relieved.

"Firstly I'll give you an injection today which will start the release of the correct hormones. I don't want to 'interfere' any more than that at the moment. Once that kicks in your body should start to behave properly. I'll give you some vitamin tablets to take with your food – you must eat properly and well for the next week or so. They'll make up the deficiencies and you'll begin to feel better. Try and get plenty of rest for the next couple of days then start slowly. Don't worry," she smiled, "everything will be all right. It's early days yet but, as far as we can see, the baby is fine. He, and I don't mean I know, I don't like saying 'it', had been hogging the food, as it were. That's what has made you so tired and drawn." She looked around, "Any questions?"

We all shook our head, "Good," she said. "Now Joanna, I'll need to see you next week to make sure we've got everything in hand. Caroline, well you come as well. You can keep each other company. Come on, shoo you men, I want to give Jo her injection."

We left the clinic feeling a lot happier that when we went in. Jo still looked terrible, the injection hadn't helped – she doesn't like them, but seemed happier overall now that everything had been explained.

When we got home I set about making dinner with Mike helping. We sat Jo in the lounge and, very sternly, told her that she had to rest.

"Jo," I said, "I'm home now and I can look after you, you just rest."

She looked sad, "I'm sorry Lena, so sorry. I thought it would be good to be carrying the same time as you, now I don't know."

"Don't be silly. You'll be right as rain soon, you heard what Mary said," then to Guy, "you stay here with her and make sure she doesn't move!" I said, mock sternly.

Back in the kitchen Mike held me tight. "That was wonderful," he said.

"What, the clinic?"

He laughed, "Well that was good but I was talking about with Silvio. You were marvellous, marvellous. How did you know what to say?"

"I don't know, I just felt I had to be honest with him. Was he OK do you think? It wasn't an act was it?"

"I don't think so," he said pensively. "Look, Silvio is no saint, neither of us were when we were young and he has always been a wanderer. I think that the return to Italy was his attempt to escape from here and a fairly loveless marriage." He held me close. "I haven't told you but Gianna was never very 'good' with Silvio. He always said she was 'lifeless' in bed, uninteresting and unresponsive."

I was sad, "Because she didn't love him I suppose."

"Yes, I think so. That meant he was always looking around. Oh, she was dutiful, there when he wanted her but he didn't want her that much. She must have been so sad and frightened in those early days. Oh Lena, she hasn't had much of a life has she."

"No," I said, "it must have been difficult for her but she has you now, and me and she has Guy and Jo, and Nardo and Amy. She'll be happy now, you see."

So we got dinner and I made Jo eat something before we all relaxed in the lounge. It had been a long and difficult day and we were all tired. I snuggled up to him in bed and he cuddled me. Then, after a few minutes, he said, "Caroline?" Oh dear, something important. He always used my full name when something was troubling him.

"Caroline?" he said again, "can I ask you something?"

Silly man! "Of course you can."

"You won't get angry?"

Oh crikey, what was he going to ask? "No," I said holding my breath.

"I've been thinking. It's about Arna."

Relief – there wasn't anything he could ask me about Gianna that would make me angry!

"Yes," I said, "go on."

"Well, errm, well. If anything happens to Silvio, or if Gianna decides to leave him can she live here?" This came gushing from him as if he was frightened to say it.

"Oh silly man. It's your house, you can decide who lives here."

He pulled away to look at me then. He seemed annoyed, "It's not 'my' house, it's 'our' house and who lives here is up to you as much as it is up to me." I realised that I had, unintentionally, upset him. You see, I hadn't really realised what he'd meant when he talked about me owning half the house all those weeks ago. Nor did I realise, completely, what being his wife meant. It sounds silly I know but, ask yourself, do you really recognise all the aspects of major changes in your life straight away.

I kissed him, "I'm sorry," I said, "but it doesn't matter. Of course she can live here."

"You don't mind? You know, two women in the same house and all that?"

"No, I don't mind. In fact I'd like it. I love her a little bit Mike and I wouldn't want to see her on her own," I smiled, "anyway she might get snapped up mightn't she?"

He laughed, "Lena, angel, you are incorrigible," and he kissed me. "Do you want to?" he whispered in my ear. Now, you may think this is funny, but I didn't.

"Sweetheart, no. I couldn't do you justice after today, anyway," I said brightening up, "you just keep your powder dry for Saturday!" I was suddenly aware that this was the first time I'd ever refused him.

"Oh Mike," I said at this sudden realisation, "I will if you want to. I've never said no to you before. Oh, I'm sorry, so sorry."

"Lena, you sweet thing, I only asked because I thought you might want to. Anyway, if you don't feel like it you must say, mind," he said smiling, "I might think you were not well if it happened often."

"You're awful," I said laughing back at him and everything was all right. We drifted off to sleep in each other's arms.

Friday was a quiet day. Mike and Guy went to work setting up the English end of the business with Jon, Angela and Chloe. I did give them a bit of the third degree about Chloe because I could tell she'd made an impression on Mike. I wanted to meet them so I suggested to Mike that he invite them back for dinner one evening when Jo was feeling better. He thought that was funny, joking that it was only so I could get a look at Chloe. Well, it was and Angela, and Jon for that matter. Oh I wasn't interested in any of them really but I liked to know the people who were working with my man.

Jo actually seemed a little better on Friday. I suppose the injection would start to work, so would the vitamin pills. She'd got some of her colour back and she did sleep fairly well on Thursday night according to Guy. I made her rest all day while I spent some time telling her everything that happened at the villa, about Mike and Gianna and about Gianna and me. She was happy that they were together again but she didn't really take full note of everything because she was feeling so bad. Later I got all the shopping on line so I didn't have to go out and I cooked dinner. She wanted to help but I made her sit in the lounge and watch TV. I think she was even better by the end of the day. She managed a big smile and a long hug for both men when they came in, that was a good sign.

Dinner was fun with my joshing them about Chloe and Mike teasing back. They both had quite a lot to drink: they knew they wouldn't be required to perform tonight. Jo wasn't up to it and Mike was saving himself for me and Gianna. I'd had an idea about that and I'd briefly discussed it with Jo. I was planning to suggest using the strap-on with Gianna to show her how it felt to be DP'd. I knew she'd never get the chance with two men so this was the only way. I must admit as well, that I was looking forward to doing that to her, to bonking her I suppose. I don't know why. Was it to have her like Mike did, you know, entering her, possessing her? I don't know. I only know that I wanted to do it but I wasn't sure that Mike would agree. I had another dark desire as well. I knew I'd have to ask him tonight, I didn't want to spring it on him tomorrow in the bedroom, that wouldn't be fair.

We all went to bed early and I lay next to him enjoying the feeling of his warmth next to me.

"Mike," I said, "can I ask you something?"

He smiled in the darkness, "Your turn tonight, eh?" he said. "Of course you can, anything, you know that."

"Mmm," I said, "but this is about Gianna."

"That doesn't matter, sweetheart. Ask away."

"Well," I said slowly, "about tomorrow night when Gianna stays . . ."

"Yes," he said with a smile in his voice.

"Errr, I was thinking. Gianna has never had two to play with has she. You know, two cocks," I ended laughing.

"No, I don't suppose she has. As far as I know she's only ever been with Silvio and me."

"Oh, that's right, she told me. Well she said she'd never go with another man didn't she, so she'll never experience what I have, Jo has, and Amy has. Two inside her at the same time."

"No I don't suppose she will," he said turning towards me, "but I suspect that you are about to suggest putting that right aren't you?"

He did know me so, so well! "Yes, I am. It's not fair that she shouldn't feel that pleasure, especially when both belong to the people who love you. I want to use the strap-on if she wants. Can I?" I ended with a great big pout.

"Oh Lena, angel, you can do what you like, you know that but I don't know whether she'll go for it."

"I think she will. To be, to put it crudely, fucked by people who love you is wonderful. You feel full, full of cock," I laughed, "but full of something else," I added quietly, "Love I suppose."

He looked me in the eye, "You want to do it don't you, for you as well? You want to have her like that don't you?"

I'd been found out, but then he almost always did find me out. I pouted a little and admitted it, "Oh Mike, I'm sorry. It's funny. I just feel I want her like that. I've never felt it with Jo nor did I with Amy. With Jo it was just playing, enjoying ourselves with you but with Gianna it's more. Oh Mike my feelings for her are so difficult to sort out." I looked at him with big blue eyes wide open easing the pain I thought he would feel when I made my next admission. "I want her to do it to me Mike. I'm sorry."

He smiled his wonderful smile, "Of course you do. You want her to do to you what I do to you don't you. To feel her, or as near as you can, inside you. You need more than tongues and fingers. Lena, angel, I can understand that." He kissed me. "This is a complicated arrangement we've got here and all our feelings are hard to put together. I think we have to go with the flow." He held me tightly. "If you want her to do that to you I don't mind." He looked deeply into my eyes, "I don't even mind if you want her to do it to me. Do you?"

Oh dear, he could read my mind. I started to cry gently, "Oh Mike, Mike, I don't know why but I think of her doing that to you as well, to both of us. I think of you taking her as she takes me. I think of you both inside me but," I said quickly, "I won't want that until the baby comes. I can't understand these feelings. It's just that I know I love her but I don't know how, or why. And I don't know how to show it or how she can show me, how we can make love together. You loving her and loving me makes my love for her different somehow. It's as if the way I love you affects the way I feel about her. I'm confused. Sometimes I wish Gianna was a man so she could have me like you, sometimes I wish I was a man so I could have her like you, and sometimes, sometimes . . . Oh Mike I'm mixed up about Gianna."

"Shush, angel, shush. Don't cry. It doesn't matter. I only want what you want, to see you happy, to see Gianna happy. We'll sort out the bedroom as we go along. God, I can't wait for you two tomorrow. I'm excited already," he said smiling as my hand found out just how much. "The two women I love, together. Would that I had two cocks but we'll have to make do. If you two want to use the strap-on on each other I don't mind, I'll watch." His cock twitched now as another thought crossed his mind, "Oh god," he said, "I've just imagined taking you in the back while you're fucking her. Bugger," he said with feeling, "shit Lena, don't touch. Now I'm thinking of taking her as she has you. Oh hell, I bloody hope I can last tomorrow," he said as he held me tightly.

He always made me feel better in those days of so much confusion about feelings. I held him and kissed him, "I love you," I said, "and I'll leave you alone."

"And I love you, and I'll leave you alone because, just at this moment, I could fuck the arse off you, you sexy minx, and if I did, I'd be less use tomorrow."

I must admit that, just at that moment, I wouldn't have minded him fucking the arse off me but I was excited about tomorrow and I wanted him strong. I wondered if he saw Gianna and me playing with the strap-on, if he might not manage a second go quite quickly. I could tell he was hot thinking about taking her while she took me, bloody hell, I was. I was imagining her buggering me with the strap-on while he buggered her. Bloody hell, I'd better calm down or I'd rape him here and now. I kissed him hard and he knew because he kissed me back and started to move his hips. I reached down. He was as hard as a rock.

"Oh bugger," I said, "we'd better stop hadn't we?" I hoped he would say no really, hell did I want him just then.

He took a deep breath, "You are going to get well and truly fucked tomorrow night," he said hoarsely as he pulled away, "both of you. You'd better warn Gianna."

"Mmm," I said calming a bit, "so are you and I will warn Gianna!"

He laughed, "I'll go downstairs and get us a drink," he said, "it might calm us down."

"Anything as long as it's not Amaretto." I laughed back. So off he went to get some water. He came back cooled down and gave me some before we drifted off to sleep.

Saturday was a fairly bright and I spent the morning doing the housework while Mike and Guy washed the cars. Jo wanted to help me but we all made her rest. She was beginning to look a lot better and her appetite was returning so we hoped she was over the worst of it. I was getting excited thinking about Gianna's visit. It was somehow different here, in our house. I knew now that I wanted her here as well for all the reasons I'd tried to explain to Mike last night but also so that she could be near him. I knew it wasn't possible yet, not desirable even because I still had to arrange for him to bed Maria: mind you her feelings for him did complicate matters. I thought I knew how I was going to arrange that but it still depended on luck: primarily how to get Guy out of the way but more of those plans later.

I did manage to get a few minutes to talk to Jo about Gianna and how I felt. I was worried you see, worried about the effect of my feelings on her and Mike. I really was confused. It had been simple at the villa, no complications until just before we came home. Now it was permanent, part of real life, so I had to try and sort it out.

"Jo," I said as the men car cleaned, "Jo can I talk to you about Gianna?"

She could read me as well as Mike I think. She smiled, "Of course you can love. What are you worried about?"

"It's funny," I said trying to sort my mind out, "it's the way if feel about her Jo. It's so difficult to understand. I want to DP her with Mike but I want to do that for ME not just for her. I can't figure it out. I want to fuck her Jo. I've never felt that way about you, or Amy for that matter. What we do seems fine and I enjoy it. I've never thought of using the strap-on to have you. Do you understand?"

She smiled and hugged me. "I think I do Lena. I think you want her like Mike wants her. I wonder if you don't feel that way because you love Mike so much you want to have her like he does. Sort of by proxy I suppose. Look darling, I shouldn't worry about it. If Gianna likes that and goes for it, more power to your elbow," she laughed, "or hips really."

Unfortunately I wasn't seeing the funny side, I was still mixed up. "But I want her to do it to me as well Jo. I never wanted you to do that to me. What we did was always enough, enough to satisfy my feelings for you. You never wanted to do that to me did you?"

"No, I didn't. I enjoyed it when we did the DP thing with Mike but, oh this is difficult isn't it, I wasn't getting pleasure from having you myself. My pleasure came from seeing you DP'd with Mike inside you and from the stimulants on the strap-on. I wasn't even thinking of taking YOU that way. I love you Lena and I've never felt that I wanted to do that even after seeing it in the films.

"Look," she said, "I think it's all part of the fact that you both feel so strongly about Mike. I think that, somehow, his feelings are being, I don't know, transmitted if you like, to you. This means you look at Gianna in some ways how he looks at her. I know your feelings about her are mixed up anyway, aren't they?"

"Mmm," I said thoughtfully, "sometimes I think of her as my mum, sometimes like you, a sort of older sister, and sometimes I fancy her like hell."