Cassie Duncan Ch. 01

Author's disclaimer:

This is a work of fiction, not erotic literature, and even though my main character may be crass, and she curses a lot, it is not meant to be erotic. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is merely coincidental. If you think any character resembles you, please feel honored to be immortalized in print...

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My name is Cassiopeia Duncan, Every body calls me Cassie. So many people think that Cassie is short for Cassandra, that I get junk-mail that says 'Cassandra Duncan'.

When I started reading and writing the first word I learned to spell didn't come from a primer, and wasn't even my name, it was my grandfather's surname: Lakey. So many of my aunt's and uncles carried the surname Lakey, I thought of my family as the Lakey family.

My own father might as well have been a sperm donor, for all the time I ever saw him. I rarely ever saw Roger Duncan, or of the Duncans. My father was the black sheep, of his family, and my mother was unmentionable to them. On those rare occasions that I met one of them, they would say something like:

"Am I really related to you? No, I think you must be mistaken."

My mother kept my father's name because it sounded better than 'Linda Lakey'.

The Lakey's would have been called white trash, except this bunch believes in Jesus. Yeah, That's right, the church-going, nicer-than-you, 'I forgive you' Bullshit, in spades. No, I don't believe like them, I'm just a sinner like everybody else.

If you took away all the bullshit from my family, ideally we would all be better people, except the with Lakeys, if you took away the 'I'm nice to everybody, because I love everybody' veneer, there was a rock hard, ice cold, iron will, the kind that says: "Fuck you all!" And hates everyone equally. Nobody is no better than anyone else, but no one is any better than anyone else.

We all equally suck.

In my neighborhood there was a saying: "Don't be caught dead hanging out with a Lakey" there was also a secret meaning behind the saying "Don't be caught dead because you had hung out with a Lakey. " You couldn't prove that anyone was to blame, but it also seemed that everyone around the Lakeys, themselves, included, a lot of bad luck. Underneath the "We will be all be rewarded in heaven"' was a lot of, "I'll get mine, and fuck anyone who gets in my way!"

Positivity only takes you so far. Eventually the leprechauns have taken off with all your gold. Some of my earliest memories including my 350 pound aunt breaking the door down on my 140 lb father, and social workers asking me if I had been molested.

Not everything was terrible. Eventually people stopped asking where my dad was, And my mother and grandmother were healthy enough to go to work, changing old people's diapers, and anything else, not worthy of the attention of an actual Registered Nurse. We Lakey girls were always Phlebotomists, and Certified Nurses Assistants, but never Nurse Practitioners. But being a midwife comes in handy when we are popping out babies. We know Greys Anatomy, and how to treat a gunshot wound. And no child ever left my grandmother's house hungry.

Our one and only TV had a limit on the dial that allowed, Laurence Welk, Hee-Haw, The Dukes of Hazard, and a whole lot of 'God loves, Everybody Hallelujah!' Bullshit.

Who needs TV? I didn't. I could go to a friend's house and watch TV, but you can bet their parents had the dial turned to the same boring nonsense. Fuck TV.

There were positive points, my grandmother actually was a nice person who worked her ass off for her family, And most of us are smart, hell, most of us can find our own ass in the dark.

Grandpa Lakey didn't work, he spent most of his time in his bed, My father had disappeared, and the only jobs we could get were minimum wage. Here we were still popping out babies. Not me, I don't have any kids, not yet.

Not to say I didn't love babies, I did. When one of my Aunts had my cousins, I thought, Babies were cute, but boring. My attitude was "That's a nice baby, go to sleep" and then I'd think, "Fuck you guys, I'm out of here!"

We didn't curse much though. Curse words are reserved for special significance. Like when CPS was dragging off me my sister, my brother, and I, to foster care. My mother once said she 'Tried her damnedest' to keep up with the bills, and put food on the table, and to put up with my drunken loser of a father. My mother once said of my father: "That man would fuck anything that walks on two feet!" What she really meant to say was: "I want this fucker gone from my life!"

Yeah sure, my dad was a genuine asshole, but it wasn't fair that he had to go into hiding. One great thing about America, when I was growing up was you couldn't arrest or convict someone, that you can't find. Facial recognition and the internet were myths that belonged firmly in the science fiction of the library next to Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle. For most of my shild hood I didn't know where my father was, and I didn't care. If I believed even a quarter of what my mom said about him, he's still an asshole I don't want to know.

Nobody gives a fuck about anybody else. When my dad disappeared, it wasn't a tragedy. My dad never was charged with anything, the cops thought my mom was just building a sympathetic legal case for child custody hearings. Both the Lakeys and the Duncans were glad my dad was gone. My mom kept my dad's name because she thought it sounded better than Linda Lakey.

The fucked up thing about the system is that once you get into it, you can't keep out of it. Its sucks you in like a black hole. The fact that the government actually has a file on your family doesn't make you feel special. You're not gangsters, and no one respects you. When their families shop at Mervins, and yours shops at the Salvation Army you might as well be pond scum.

The good thing about beauty, if you truly have it, and you are lucky enough to come from skinny people, is: you just need to wash and brush your hair. Guys are looking at you, not their plastic girlfriends. Not than any of them would ever admit he had a Lakey for a girlfriend, we were nice to look at, and flirt with, but you wouldn't find even one us of in a motel with a guy.

We didn't have body issues, we loved our bodies, One aunt loved her body so much, she was a nudist in her own home, the entire 5 foot, 350 lb sphere of my aunt was on display for friends and family. I love my body too, I just don't put it out there for everyone to see.

I am almost 21 years old five foot six, 120 lbs. Men have been buying me drinks in bars since I was 16, and I've never been carded. I'm strong too, You learn to fight when you're a Lakey girl. We can walk down the streets alone at night, because no man wants to be found in alley with his dick cut off.

I did the best to make my family think I was a virgin, but the truth was , as long as I wasn't pregnant, or dead in a ditch somewhere, my family didn't care about me. Even the boy I lost my virginity to didn't care about me enough to make me cum first. Hell, I didn't even know I could have an orgasm for a long time, I just figured that one out.

In my social class, the kind of girls that would be my friends, were the kind of girls that would eventually end up in jail. I was not allowed to be their friends, and they weren't allowed to be mine.

None of the kids in my social strata lived in my neighborhood. My grandfather's family couldn't get kicked out of nineteenth century house they lived in, even though it was falling apart, The electrical work had last been done in the 1930s. Grandpa was sick, but Grandma always made rent. Nobody wanted to be the dick who booted poor people out of his house.

Eventually my grandparents moved out of that old Edwardian house and it was torn down. The owner built three houses on the property and became a millionaire.

I never bought into the idea that 'God loves everybody'. What a bunch of bullshit. If God loved everybody, he wouldn't have made the entire human race into a bunch of assholes. My family might act like they love everyone, but I don't. I hate everyone equally. I guess that's the other quality that made it hard to make friends.

I've had lovers, but they were never my friends, we didn't make love, we just had sex. It's not like I was living the life of a porn star or a being a whore, pretty far from it. If you filmed the entirety of my sex life, there would only be a few rare quickies, not exiting enough for porn. Pretty boring. It's almost like I don't have a sex life. If ever there was someone who wanted to be slut, it would be me, but I guess I'm not that lucky. I suck cock. Yes, I love to suck cock. I'm good at it. Other girls will spit you out, but I'll swallow. I 'm young, hot, and horny, so why am not I not getting more than just the random fingering, or a quick fuck in the hallway? Trust me, it doesn't happen enough, so people think it never happens. Guys flirt a lot, but they also seem to lack commitment.

Maybe guys don't like me because they are scared. In my grandmother's garden compost, there is special mulch, made from people who will never be seen again. Blood truly does make the grass grow. My last attempt at having a boyfriend ended up with the boy in jail, because the cops were following me, and the guy was dumb enough to carry two ounces of weed on his person when he tried to take me out. Or, maybe they just hate me, because I'm a bitch.