tagHumor & SatireCelebrating Earth Day

Celebrating Earth Day


While online a few nights ago, I happened to run across a thread about the upcoming contest for Earth Day. And I have to admit I was a bit intrigued. As most might have noticed that other than the Survivor contest, I very rarely submit any work to the themed contests. I am embarrassed to admit it but I am terrible about remembering the deadline dates for such contests, so I don't normally bother. But after reading another thread on ideas for said contest, I wondered if I could write such a piece celebrating this unique holiday, especially since a few of said ideas stuck my funny bone. While I am certain that with enough thought and imagination, I could come up with a creative idea for this contest; I didn't want to write another piece on some miraculous invention that saves the Earth from destruction, and has the graciously grateful population offering an orgy on a silver platter to the lucky inventor.

Instead it brought back memories of a similar assignment that I was required to write for a Creative Writing class during my senior year in high school. Minus the orgy, of course! Looking back now, I don't even remember what I ended up writing; but the one thing that is stuck in my memory about the whole thing is Ralph,my boy-friend's reaction about my assignment.

To make things a bit clearer here for the Moderators at Literotica, at the time this happened Ralph and I were 20 and 19 respectively. And of course being the typical horny male, Ralph, suggested we should "celebrate" Earth Day in the most basic of fashions. In other words, he wanted to "do it in the great outdoors" and was hoping that I was fair game. I guess this would be a good time to mention I grew up in Iowa and that particular evening we had unusually warm weather. It must have been in the upper seventies with humidity in the low eighties...that evening was warm and sticky!

Anyways, I'm sitting in the apartment that I shared with my dad and my sister, arguing with my horny boy-friend about the idea of having sex outdoors, when he does the one thing that will make me agree to his crazy plan. And no, it wasn't a heavy make-out session where he teased me until I said screw it and gave in. He simply dared me to! I know it seems rather childish looking back now, but in my defense I can say I was only nineteen and was susceptible to such things.

So that is how I ended up at a secluded park at nine in the evening, toting a blanket into a wooded area. The park closed at ten but I wasn't worried about getting trapped inside. There was a gate but it was no big deal to open it and then close it again after we left.

After finding the perfect spot, Ralph spread the blanket out in a grassy area that bordered some dense scrub on one side and a steep hill on the other. Then we got down to the business of "celebrating". I don't really know how long it was before the flash of headlights startled me. I do remember the panic I felt when I saw a tall figure get out of the car and come towards us with a flash light. At the particular moment I was astride Ralph and the only thing I was wearing was one sock and a smile.

I scrambled off of Ralph, who I found out afterwards was on the verge of coming when I dismounted. He was none to happy about that! I remember trying to yank my clothes on; but in my hurry, I tripped over Ralph's and remember that hill I mentioned earlier? Well, I must have been quite the sight half dressed rolling down that hill. I do remember finding a few "sticker" bushes on the way down, and they stuck me in not-so- friendly places either.

After coming to a stop at the bottom of the hill in a couple of scrubs, the tall man came down after me, followed by my red-faced boy-friend who was jerking his shorts on. The tall man turned out to be a police officer. After checking to make sure I was all right, he helped me to my feet. At this point the only thing I had on was my tank top and the single sock that I had never gotten around to taking off. Ralph burst out laughing when he saw me. Which was not the reaction I wanted at that point in time. I had scrapes on my legs and arms, stickers in my butt plus various debris tangled in my hair. Then to top it all off, Ralph had left the rest of my clothes up at the top of the high hill.

The officer was kind enough to turn his back while Ralph ran back up the hill for my clothes. When I pulled on my shorts was when I realized that I had the stickers in my ass. Which of course, I had to admit to the two men because there was no way in hell I was going to walk back up the hill like that. After an embarrassing amount of time with Ralph trying to juggle the flashlight and pull the stickers out, I finally was able to wear my shorts comfortably enough to climb back up the hill.

After we gathered our blanket up and walked back to my car, the officer decided that I had been injured enough for one evening and just told us that if we wanted to "celebrate" - we should probably do it indoors next time.

So - you think the story ended there? - wrong! We get into my car to leave and realized in our rush to "celebrate" I left the damn parking lights on and the battery was dead. The officer was nice enough to give me a jump. By then all I wanted to do was go home! Which I did. Only to find my dad waiting for me. It seems that the officer that found Ralph and me, was a friend of my dad's. And guess who got a call before I walked in the door? The officer just wanted to make sure I wasn't injured any worse than he thought.

Instead of giving me hell, like I expected, Dad just shook his head and ushered me into the bathroom after telling my younger sister to "go help your crazy sister." It took my sister an hour to dig all the twigs and debris out of my hair. (My hair almost reached down to my waist at that time.) After showering and crawling into bed, I awoke the next morning with the memory of my failed attempt to "celebrate" Earth Day along with a nasty case of poison ivy. It seemed Ralph and I failed to see the patch of poison ivy while we were spreading the blanket. That will teach us -or at least me - NOT to wander around in the woods after dark.

Looking back now, I can't help but laugh. But at the time I was quite embarrassed especially when my dad told my sister that was what happened if you went parking. I know he meant well, but it took me a couple of weeks to get over my "Earth Day Celebration".

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bydragontatto© 3 comments/ 11806 views/ 1 favorites

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