Changes Ch. 08

"It's not like you're a grandmother. You're not old."

Vanessa chuckled. "I don't feel old. I feel things I never thought I'd feel again. But you," she said, playfully poking Heather's nose, "You make it feel like this is the first time it's happening to me. And I'm a bit overwhelmed," she added softly, misty-eyed.

Heather smiled, before kissing Vanessa. "I have no idea how you have the courage to lay yourself bare. You've been in love, you've been hurt in love. How do you just put yourself out there even after everything?"

Vanessa smiled. "I wasn't always like this. After Miah I walled myself in. Convinced I never wanted to love again. And then years later I met Joe and he drew me out and we fell madly in love with each other." She was quiet for a minute. "He taught me a lot when we were in love and when we fell out of love. Today I'm no longer insecure. It's alright to love someone and not have them love you back. That doesn't mean you deny how you feel. It's alright if a love doesn't last forever, it doesn't make the time you had less special. It's ok to have your heart broken, it means you loved someone enough to allow them to break it. And that's special."

"Wow. I've never thought like that."

"Neither had I. Hiding behind a wall suited me just fine. It was so much better than being exposed and vulnerable. I was in control of how I felt, not anyone else."

"Yes."

"I recognized all of that in you. How you were uncomfortable with physical contact, with affection. I've been there. And it's okay to take your time in opening yourself up. It's also okay to continue to stay behind your wall."

Heather nodded, "I'm not like that with you anymore. I like it when you touch me."

Vanessa chuckled. "I know, I can see that. And I'm so glad that you do. But please know, I will never rush you or ask anything of you for which you're not ready. But I will tell you how I feel. That I can't deny."

Heather was quiet for a minute. She didn't have any doubt about how she felt. What was the point in not saying it? She looked up, before saying, "I do love you, Vanessa. And I'm not saying it because you said it. I really do love you."

"Then I consider myself doubly lucky," Vanessa whispered seeking out Heather's lips.

They sat like that, holding each other, occasionally kissing.

"Honey," Vanessa said, breaking the comfortable silence in which they'd been sitting.

"Hmm?"

"Your bathroom is very comfortable, but can we get out of here?"

Heather giggled, "Want to get into bed again? Or another shower?"

Vanessa looked at Heather in mock disappointment before mumbling, "Says she loves me but keeps me hungry all day."

"Oh I'm so sorry! Let's quickly rinse off and I'll make you a king sized breakfast!"

"Let's, before my stomach digests itself."

Heather giggled, following Vanessa into the shower again. "And then maybe I could tempt you with something else to eat?"

Vanessa grinned, "Oh really? And what might that be?"

"It tastes something like this," Heather said, lifting her fingers to Vanessa's mouth.

Vanessa groaned before taking Heather's fingers in her mouth. "Oh honey, you taste so good. I can't wait to taste more of you."

"But first, breakfast. Can't have you passing out on me!" Heather said, jumping out the shower and quickly drying herself.

"Oh you're the devil! Getting me all worked up again," Vanessa laughed as she followed Heather out of the shower.