Charlie

You sit a while but the movie Luiz was watching was atrocious. You excuse yourself and head to your room. You hear Charlie just finishing a phone call as you enter. "Okay, love you to Mom. Yep, bye."

You close the door behind you and hang your jacket on a hanger on the back side of the door. Charlie had on a set of full on pajamas. Blue and white striped, loose button up shirt and pants that matched. Over the years of traveling around for soccer tournaments or swim meets you had never met a guy your age who actually wore old man pajamas like this. After a moment's thought...you would expect no different from Charlie.

"Going to bed already?" You ask, it was not quite 11 pm.

He shakes his head. "I can read if you want to stay up. I don't mind."

You shrug. "Eh, we'll see. I might watch a movie or something. Let me know if I'm bothering you."

He nods.

Peeling off your shirt you throw it in a ball at the base of your dresser. Looking in a mirror that was set up on your side, opposite the bathroom door, you take a quick look at your exposed upper torso. Fuck, while you weren't obsessed with your looks you had to admit that you were looking good. With only having your lame ass truck wash job this past year you had stepped up your workouts. Washboard abs, nice V taper, wide thick pecs, round shoulders, and definition everywhere. Add to this that all of the outdoor swimming you had done over the summer had given you a perfect bronze tan.

At the corner of the mirror you can see Charlie looking at you, staring at you. Eyes wide. Obviously admiring your fit body. You'd seen it before, that look of envy on guys who didn't have the discipline or desire to get into shape. You see a blush come his face as he turns away suddenly. He grabs the back of his desk chair with both hands and stares out the window.

You sigh. You knew this wasn't going to go over well. Charlie being as bashful as he was. But this was your space too and you'd be damned if you would be creeping around hiding yourself for however long you stayed here. It wasn't who you were and you needed to be comfortable as well. Charlie wanted his privacy and you would respect that, but that didn't apply to you. You were very comfortable with your body, it helped that you had nothing to complain about down below.

You unbutton your pants and slide them off, followed by your socks. Without a pause you then slip off your boxer-briefs. Charlie gripped the chair in front of him and wasn't moving a muscle. With it being dark outside you knew he was likely seeing what was happening behind him in the reflection off the window.

It felt good to be naked, you'd always enjoyed it.

"I'm hitting the shower." You say as you head into the bathroom. Once more you leave the door open behind you. He might have to take a leak or something in the meantime. You stop then return to the main room, you'd forgotten your bathroom kit. Charlie stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, his eyes darting everywhere but on you. You felt bad making him feel uncomfortable, but it was something he would have to get used to if he was going to live with you. You grab the kit then head back in.

You unpack your toiletries and take a quick hot shower. It was a small walk-in affair, no tub or anything. But at least the pressure was good and the water was hot. You then freshen up a bit at the sink. You put your razor beside Charlie's, you make a mental note that Charlie's razor looked brand new. You brush your teeth then wipe the steamed mirror with a hand towel and brush your hair. You look at your shoulder length hair...it looked so...small town. You'd get a cut tomorrow. Maybe a fade on the sides, keep some length up top.

Heading back out you see Charlie was sitting up in his bed, his legs under the blankets, pillow behind his back. He had open a thick plain looking book in what appeared to be French. Without otherwise moving his eyes quietly follow you as you walk across the room. Opening your dresser you pull out a fresh pair of undies.

"Whatcha reading?" You ask in a friendly manner.

"Sartre." He responds as he peeks once more your way.

"Oh." You had no clue. Some French biologist maybe. You pull on the underwear. "Good book?"

"Eh, I guess." He states flatly.

Not exactly a glowing endorsement. Why was he reading it then? You sit on your bed and look at your computer. Ah fuck the movie, you were going to turn in. Lying down on top of your blankets you put your hands behind your head and stare up at the ceiling. You say. "G'night Charlie. It was good to meet you."

Catching the hint your roommate puts his book away and turns off his reading lamp. The room falls into darkness, just a slight glow from the pathway lamps outside filtering in creating a dim lit corridor down the center of the room between the two beds. You hear him shuffle as he gets under his blankets.

Silence.

"Jonathan." His soft light voice floats across from the impenetrable darkness of his side of the room.

"Yes Charlie."

"It was good to meet you too."

"Thanks."

Silence.

"Jonathan."

You chuckle. "Yes Charlie."

"Um...nothing."

Silence.

"What is it Charlie?"

"Do, uh, do you want to have breakfast together?"

You chuckle again. He was a funny funny guy. "Sure Charlie. Good night Charlie."

"Good night Jonathan."

***

Lying there you soon hear Charlie's deep steady breathing. He must have fallen straight asleep.

You lie there in the quiet staring up into the darkness. What an amazing day it had been. It really felt like that trite expression: The first day of the rest of your life. You'd taken your first steps out on your own. You reflect over the day gone by.

The long drive, your anticipating growing with every mile of distance put behind you. The way through the city traffic. Getting through the campus. Meeting Mama Rose. Finding the room. Startling your new roommate. Meeting Charlie.

Meeting Charlie.

You turn your head though you could see nothing of his side of the room. You do hear his breathing had gotten even deeper, heavier, more forceful. Hopefully he wasn't a snorer.

He was so different from anyone you'd met before. You couldn't put your finger on it. He was cut off, guarded, but oh so open and vulnerable. His awkwardness and shyness had a strange charm. There was a deep intelligence there but he didn't flaunt it. You'd just met him but you genuinely liked him, a lot. He was different and right now in your life different was good.

The memory comes to you of Charlie staring up into the night, his soft fine boned features bathed in the cool moonlight. That innocent joy on his face as he watched the feeding bats. You remember him stuffing that piece of pizza into his mouth as if it was a moment of rebellion...no...as if it was a moment of emancipation. You remember his big chestnut eyes on you as you left the bathroom after your shower...

You smile and shake your head. It really had been an overwhelming day. It seemed like everything about it made you happy, you'd associated everything that had happened with your big moment of freedom. You were being ridiculous. So ridiculous. It was a big day for you, a day you had dreamed about for years, this was probably normal.

From the other side of the room you suddenly hear his breathing stop altogether for a moment...followed a little muffled gasp, as if through a pillow. "...ohhhmmm..." It was so very soft and muted, had it not been so quiet in the room you never would have heard it. Was he dreaming? His breathing had become shallow, rapid, and erratic. Slowly...slowly...it returns to normal. A small gentle high pitched moan accompanying his breathing as it finally returned to normal. He was quiet once more.

You finally get under the blankets and before long you are drifting off to sleep. Your only memory of the dreams of that night are the clicks and chirps...of bats.

***

You wake early, as you often did. You were a naturally early riser and generally only needed five or six hours sleep to feel well rested. Sitting up you swing your legs over the side of the bed. The room was already well lit from the bright rising sun. Squinting as you look out the window you remind yourself to get some curtains or something to put up.

Looking over to your roommate you see he is lying face down, his arms under the pillow beneath his head and his dainty right foot sticking out of the covers over the side of the bed.

You get up and go take a piss. You splash some water on your face and freshen up a bit. Shave, brush your teeth, etc. Heading back to the room you throw on a t shirt and sit at your desk to start getting a few thing set up with your laptop. First connecting to the dorm wireless, then setting up your student account on the various campus sites.

You hear Charlie start to rustle and move. He turns over on his back, slowly opens his eyes, then shoots up to a sitting position. He looks around as if reminding himself as to where he was. He settles after a moment. He looks over to you and smiles. "Good Morning Jonathan."

You smile and nod.

He rubs his bleary eyes. He crawls out of bed and grabs many of the same clothes as he wore yesterday before stumbling to the bathroom. His zombie stagger revealing that he was not a morning person. He is in there a long time before finally reappearing. "Food Services Dining Hall good enough?" He asks.

You look over your should at him as you close your computer. "Yeah, breakfast. That's right. Uh. My food card isn't active yet."

"Mine is." He produces it from his pocket and shows it too you. "It's unlimited too." He grins. "It was one of the perks they offered me. I owe you one anyways."

Perks? No one offered you any perks. You remembered waiting nervously for the acceptance letter to arrive. You were pretty sure you'd make it in but until it actually arrived there was at least some doubt. It sounds like Charlie had had a bidding war for his attendance.

You get up, throw on some pants and slip on your shoes. Together you make your way, after a few wrong turns, to the food hall. It was sort of a buffet affair with a large common room eating area. You both load your plates and Charlie pays. As you head into dining area you notice the same group of girls you had asked directions from last night sitting at one of the large round tables. "Come on Charlie." You say as you make a beeline for their table.

"Uh..." You hear him say behind you.

As you arrive they all look up and smile. Four college aged cuties...man, if you weren't already taken...

"These seats taken?" You ask. There were plenty of other places to sit, but you were in the mood to meet some people.

"No!" One of them says. "No, go ahead. Did you guys find the pizza place okay?"

You set down your tray and nod. "Yep, thanks again."

Reluctantly Charlie takes a seat beside you. You smile at him, he grimaces back. He was not happy with this at all. Ah, it would be good for him to socialize a bit.

You and the four girls begin some lively flirtatious chit chat. You learn a bit about each other. Charlie just sat quietly beside you. The inevitable topic of your availability was subtly questioned.

"I've got a girlfriend back home, she'll be joining me next year." You inform them, much to their chagrin. "But my quiet Canadian friend here...he's a free man."

He looks at you with wide frightened eyes. You give him an unspoken little look as if to say. 'Dude! Go for it!' This was low hanging fruit, he just had to reach out and grab it. If you could help him 'become a man' you'd consider that a big accomplishment for your freshman year.

You crow. "Yep, single for the moment." You laugh and shoot him a wink. "I suspect that won't last long."

The girls were very much interested in this news and begin talking to him. Asking him all sorts of questions and giving him pretty smiles and suggestive stares.

Charlie remained quiet, awkwardly quiet, painfully quiet. His scared eyes darting this way and that. He was blowing it! You nudge him elbow to elbow. "Come on Charlie, speak up." You turn to the girls. "He's just a bit shy..."

Charlie stands up suddenly. "I-I-I've g-got to...g-go!" Without another word he turns and walks briskly away, almost tripping over his chair in the process. He storms out of the hall, his half eaten breakfast sitting there on the table. You and the girls all sit there stunned.

You turn to them. "Sorry about that. I...uh...I better see..." You point over your shoulder. They just nod, not sure of what to make of it all.

You stand and sprint out of the hall. You don't see him in the hallway. You continue your way out the doors and you finally see him walking briskly out along one of the paths. You rush to catch up.

"Charlie! Charlie wait!" You call out. You run up beside him. "Dude, calm down. What's wrong?"

He stops, his small hands balled in fists. His face was turned partially away from you, his hair covering his eyes. "D-d-don't you ever do that to me again!" He hisses. Holy shit...was he crying!? He was crying! You couldn't believe it, this guy was one sensitive soul!

You put a hand on his shoulder. "Hey man, calm down. I didn't know you'd react like that. I was trying to help you out."

He was fuming, he continued to hide his face from you. "I-I-I don't n-need your help J-J-Jonathan."

People were turning their heads as they walked by, wondering what the drama was about. You couldn't believe you were doing this with a guy you just met yesterday evening. With your roommate of all people. You were not used to this among your male friends. This display of emotion might be something you ribbed a friend about back home or just told them to suck it up. But you lived with this guy, you needed to mend this fence. More importantly...you truly felt bad that you'd hurt his feelings. You felt downright retched about it.

"Charlie. I'm sorry, really. I was a total asshole back there. A total total asshole. I should have at least talked to you first." You squeeze his slender shoulder. "It won't happen again, okay? I promise. I promise you that."

He is quiet a time. He finally nods. "Okay Jonathan." He reaches up and squeezes your hand in his, an odd gesture to be sure. "I'll...I'll see you back at the room." After a moment he adds. "I-I'm sorry I acted like that."

"Sure Charlie. It's okay. I'll see you later." You watch in confusion as he walks away. You hoped he was okay. You hoped things were still cool between you.

Okay, wow, lesson learned. You would be more careful with Charlie in the future.

***

You start walking toward the campus bookstore, you had noticed a hair salon near there when you were on the way to breakfast. As you go you just couldn't let go of what had happened, it played on you. Your downcast mood was slowly but surely starting to turn sour.

Fuckin Charlie. Man he over reacted. You kept running the scene over and over in your mind. You were just trying to help him get some tail. Most guys would have thanked you! What was wrong with him? You shake your head. This was bothering you WAY more than it ought to. What the hell was wrong with you? You simply could not understand the intensity of your emotions right now.

If you were truly honest with yourself it wasn't the embarrassment of the scene, you could give a shit about that, it was the fact you hurt him. That was what was really getting to you. You felt like you'd whipped a puppy or something.

You find a quiet area and pull out your phone. You dial Samantha, you just had to talk to someone. Anyone. She has barely answered before you go off on Charlie. You tell her all about the scene at breakfast. You tell her how you were just trying to give a guy a hand. You try to explain what was riling you up but you failed miserably.

There is silence for a time on the other end of the line. "Jon."

"What?" You snap.

"Who the fuck cares? Seriously. Who cares?" She responds. "This guy sounds like a total shut-in perma-virgin nerd loser. Fuck him. I mean, if he's got you so mad kick his ass or something. He's not worth your time though."

The conflicting emotions rising in you surprises you. Just moments before you were ranting about him now suddenly you felt defensive of him. You sigh as your anger subsides. "He's not a loser. And I'm not kicking anyone's ass. Jesus."

She wonders. "Were you trying to impress the girls or something?"

"No, of course not."

"Better not have been! Anyways, than it's no big deal. None of your business if he's a virgin. Let the loser be a loser."

"He's not a loser, he's cool." You insist.

"Doesn't sound cool. He's an emotionally fucked up asshole. Probably a faggot."

"Don't say that Sam!"

"Calm down. Why is this bothering you anyways? He's just your roomie for fuck sake, who cares?" She laughs. "I know what it is! You're missing me already aren't you? That's got you all crabby. Awww, my Jon misses me. Maybe next year we can get an apartment together, huh? A little love nest of our very own. Doesn't that sound nice?" She coos.

You close your eyes and rub them with your fingers and thumb. You let out a long sigh. This had been a huge mistake. You shouldn't have called her. She just didn't understand, hell...you didn't even understand. "Yeah, that does sound nice. Uh...I gotta go okay. Sorry I bothered you."

She laughs. "No bother. You know it is still early, you could probably get another room. Dump the loser Jon."

"Bye Sammy." You say.

"Bye baby, miss you. Love you."

"Yeah...um yeah...love you too." You hang up.

You take a deep breath. Pull yourself together Jon. You were acting so fucking weird. You put the phone away and go to continue on toward the hair salon...no. Not yet. You hated dancing around shit, you'd deal with this head on. You jog off toward the dorm.

***

You burst into your dorm room scaring Charlie half to death. He was sitting on his bed, no book, no device, just sitting there alone.

You say in an upbeat tone. "Come on Charlie, let's get out of here."

He looks up at you surprised. "What?"

You grin. "Let's get out and stretch our legs. Take a tour of the campus. I saw a few ponds and a stream along the West end. Plus I need to get my haircut. Maybe we can swing by Biology and Kinesiology. See some of our classrooms. Come on, don't make me go alone."

It was obvious what you were doing, trying to put the morning's drama behind you. You didn't care if you were obvious. You just didn't want to be angry or confused anymore. You wanted to make things cool again with the one person you knew in the city.

Charlie smiles. "I thought you'd be mad."

You quip. "What, mad at myself being an asshole? If I did that I'd be like mad all the damn time."

He laughs. "Um, okay." He gets up and grabs his jacket.

Together you make your way out. You swing by the salon first and schedule an appointment for later in the afternoon. After that the pair of you explore the expansive campus. You take side trails and cut through buildings. You find hidden little nooks and dead ends. The older buildings were the most interesting. You get into places you probably weren't allowed to go. You check out your different departments, scope out a few classrooms you knew you'd be going to very soon, and even ride a few elevators just for the hell of it. After a while you are starting to get a sense of the layout.

You stop and talk to the various people you meet as you were want to do, Charlie happy to stand quietly with you as you introduced you both and began to converse. You don't press him to engage, allowing him to grow into the discussion if he wanted to. When others do start to talk with him you give him some time and space to respond but if you notice his anxiety rising you step in and take over.

He eventually acknowledges exactly what you were doing for him. You just smile and tell him. "No problem."