Charlie and Layla Pt. 02

"I'm sorry, sweetie, mommy just did a bad thing. Now see what I've done? My phone is broken and I'll have to throw it away. When we break things on purpose, we lose them. Remember that sweetie." She almost choked as she realized the double meaning behind that statement.

Layla pulled herself together and took her daughter back to her room where she helped her dress for the day. Without conscious thought, Layla took her downstairs and fixed her breakfast. Daycare was not an issue today, maybe not tomorrow either. Layla was not going to be going in to work today, and perhaps never again. At least not where she worked yesterday.

As she watched her daughter eat a breakfast of cereal and milk while playing with one of her many dolls between bites, Layla thought about her job and what she had done because of her desire to get ahead and earn what she always thought were the things she wanted. During those hours when she was alternating between sleep and wakefulness, the thought of her time with Carson Jennings surfaced and each time, she linked it in her subconscious with betrayal. Not just the betrayal of Charlie and Christine, but the betrayal of her self-respect, her work ethics, and all the hard work she had done to get where she was yesterday before she went to that motel. Why would she think she had to let Carson have her body to justify her promotion? Hadn't she worked hard, done her share, paid her dues? Why did he have to threaten her with the loss of her job just to make her receptive to his blackmail? He obviously saw something in her that he knew he could take advantage of, and that thought sickened her.

She sat there, watching what she had discovered was the most important thing in her life: Christine, her daughter. She wondered why it took all of this to understand that. This, her home, the child she had created with the only man she had ever loved, and the man himself, were the only things in the world that should ever demand what she had given up. Only they were worth her life and her self-respect! Not a job! Not a promise of advancement!

Well maybe she had destroyed her life with Charlie, her marriage to the man she loved without end, but she still could change her life for the better before he took the rest away. She couldn't and wouldn't give any of them up without a fight! Her husband, her Christine, and her home were all she had left that meant anything! She knew what she had to do, and even knowing that it would take all of her courage as she humiliated herself, it would be done!

Layla made several phone calls in the den where she sat with her files and her PDA while Christine played. She wrote several names and addresses down on a pad and finally sat back in satisfaction. She would be OK now, even if Charlie did as she expected and filed for divorce. She had to make a living for her and Christine and now she was sure she would have no problem. She made sure Christine was safe and playing, then picked up the phone one final time and made the final call. It was a short one but it was very satisfying for Layla. She hung up finally, smiled at the phone and stood.

"Come on little one. Let's go to the park and have some fun. Would you like that?"

Christine laughed and jumped up. "Let's go mommy. I'm already ready!"

Much later, after a very happy day for Christine and a cathartic one for Layla, she finally put Christine down for the night. It was just a few minutes later when her phone rang. She grabbed it quickly to avoid waking Christine and answered. She prayed it was Charlie but what she heard was more than she had hoped.

"I will be home tomorrow evening at the regular time. We will have dinner, spend the normal time with our daughter, put her to bed and then you and I will talk. Goodnight Layla."

So like Charlie. From his words and his tone and the abrupt beginning and ending, Layla knew he had made a decision. That he didn't even give her time to answer or say anything was also Charlie. When he decided something, he went full steam ahead. During their marriage, she had always had a say in everything before he decided so she always knew how he came to his decisions. But not this time. She had taken herself out of the marriage equation. She knew that's how Charlie would see what she did. And he was right to think that, even if he was wrong about the reason.

She didn't sleep again that night but at least she had something to look forward to. Charlie was coming tomorrow and that was all she cared about. She had her own things tomorrow but she would be ready when he came.

Charlie

Charlie spent the day doing what he always did: he sold auto parts. It wasn't glamorous or sexy or anything like that but it was a necessary job and Charlie did it as well if not better than most. He got a few new customers based on recommendations from others and he did his utmost to convince them he had the best products at the best price.

His boss stopped in several times to check on him since the receptionist told him that Charlie seemed to be different, less willing to speak to those around him. She said he seemed pale and a little sick but being Charlie, he would never not work. She worried he might be sick or at least not feeling well, but when he checked, Charlie was either on the phone with a customer, checking inventory on the computer or sending orders down to shipping. Accounting said he was driving them crazy with credit checks for new customers.

Charlie continued working all afternoon but quit an hour earlier than normal. It was as if he was watching the clock. At four sharp, he stood, closed the door to his office on his way out and walked swiftly down the hall toward the exit. He spoke to no one and no one tried to stop him for conversation. This was not typical for Charlie who tried very hard to talk to everyone at least once a day. He always said it was so they wouldn't forget him. Strange behavior, but no one cared: they all liked Charlie. That would have surprised him since it never occurred to him that people could like him for who he was.

Charlie drove back to his room at the motel, called for a pizza delivery and waited quietly for his food. He paid the delivery guy, sat back down and ate three slices of pizza without much interest. His mind was working, and the food was simply a necessity, not at all distracting him. He finished the last slice, carefully put the other pieces in the small refrigerator, then brushed his teeth, washed and shaved for his evening out.

Charlie's mind was working as he pulled into his driveway right at six o'clock. He was unsure of himself now and he knew he needed the regimen that he would have eating dinner, playing with his daughter and then putting her to bed. This was routine and he craved it. But if he divorced Layla, his routine would disappear forever. It would take time to establish a new one, but it could be done. He had been so sure this routine would endure. Charlie didn't often swear but as he walked toward the door, he swore silently to himself. He swore several times as a matter of fact. He was still swearing when Layla opened the door.

First Meeting Post Affair

"Charlie, please come in. Why did you knock first? This is your home, as much as mine and your daughter is here. Why would you think that you had to knock?"

Charlie looked at Layla and was surprised to see that she looked no different than before. What had he expected? That somehow she would have a red letter tattooed on her forehead? That she would somehow be crushed with her betrayal and her whole countenance would show that betrayal? Of course not! Charlie was not used to being stupid or out of control of any situation but that was how he found himself now.

"I don't know why I knocked. It just feels different now. It's just different, that's all. Where's Christine? Is she here?"

Layla watched her husband and for the first time since she saw the pictures, her heart broke. She saw now, in sharp detail, how she had hurt him, how she had shaken his world. She, better than anyone knew the controlled realm Charlie lived in most of the time. She knew the terrible shyness that he struggled with all the time, and that she had helped him overcome when she gave herself to him as his wife. It was one of the things she loved about him; that made him more human than the self-assured snobs of her pampered life. Charlie had always needed her and that had grabbed her heart and made her love him all the more.

As she watched him stand there, hunched shoulders and downward looking eyes, she almost lost her control. She moved quickly away from this new man she had created with her actions. She called for Christine to come see her father, and when the little girl rushed into the room and into her dad's arms, Layla took that chance to run out of the room and into the small powder room off the kitchen. She shut the door, shuddered once and then fell to her knees, tears pouring from her eyes.

"God, what have I done? What have I done to him? How could I have forgotten what this would do to him? Was I so consumed with ambition that I put the possibility of his finding out what I did out of my head? Could I have been so selfish?"

She waited but of course, there was no answer. She didn't need to wait for an answer! She knew the answers, just as she had that day when she asked herself the same questions. That was the day she refused to consider them, knowing that if she did, she could never go through with it. But that wasn't acceptable to her then, was it? Now? Now it was too late!

She stood, wiped her face with a damp towel, checked her appearance in the mirror, carefully avoiding her own eyes as she had been doing lately, then opened the door and walked carefully back into the kitchen to finish preparing dinner: acting like a normal mother and wife. Acting: was that what she was doing right along?

Charlie was in the family room, listening to his daughter tell him about the new doll she had and the things she was going to do with all the other dolls. He sat on the floor, his eyes watching each move as if for the first time. He laughed with her, not at her as he was always careful not to do, and delighted in her response. He carefully concentrated on her and not on the absence of Layla. He noted that she had left immediately when Christine came in. He didn't know what that meant, but he was not reassured.

Charlie was still watching Christine play when Layla came in to tell them both that dinner was ready. Charlie helped Christine wash her hands and then followed her into the kitchen. He helped her into her booster seat and made sure she was safely tucked in, then sat in his usual place, carefully watching his daughter, avoiding Layla's eyes. If he had looked, he would have been surprised to see her doing exactly the same thing.

Dinner was a tense time for both Charlie and Layla, but Christine had no such problem. She talked and talked and accepted Charlie and Layla's help with her meat. She talked as they cut it for her, she talked between bites, she talked until both Charlie and Layla began to relax. From time to time, they actually met each other's eyes briefly before looking away. But by the time the meal was over, they were actually behaving as they always had. Charlie helped Christine down from her chair, helped her wash her hands once again to remove much of her dinner and then followed her into the family room once more. She turned on the TV and settled to watch cartoons. Charlie went back in to help with the dishes only to find the table already cleared and Layla loading the dishwasher.

Charlie stood there for a second, then turned and went into the small den to check on some files he needed. He was putting them into his carrier when Layla interrupted him.

"Coffee is ready. I'll take it into the family room. Is that OK?"

Charlie nodded once and continued with the files. He didn't realize it but to Layla it was an indication that he intended to take all of his files, a move indicating that he was leaving permanently. To Charlie it was simply work related and he needed these files. To the outsider it was a strong indication that communication had broken down between these two unhappy individuals. Whose fault would that be? Fault would be the wrong approach. Consequences were at work here, but were those consequences permanent?

The three of them spent the remainder of the early evening as they normally did. For Charlie this was relaxing and welcome, the routine affording control. To Layla this was torture, avoiding the coming talk. Charlie was not thinking ahead since that was Charlie's way. He dealt with things as they occurred, preferring to be prepared in a general way for any possibility. Layla was not so sanguine, preferring to be well prepared specifically for a specific event. This was one such event.

Finally, it was time and together the two took their child upstairs to bed. They had all played hard, trying to ignore the tension and the stress surrounding them and Christine had benefited from their attention but now was very sleepy. Together they tucked her into bed, stood together watching her as she snuggled into her comforter and closed her eyes. She was content, the two people who made up her life present and together. The previous day had not been happy: daddy gone and mommy sad. But tonight it was back the way it should be. Such is a child's world, or should be.

They walked downstairs separately without speaking, Charlie going into the den while Layla got cups and coffee. She came into the den, set the tray down on the small table and took the chair next to Charlie. The two chairs and the small table were a gift from Layla's parents. It was the first time they had seen the small home and her mother had been distressed at the small size of the room. She covered it quite well by saying they found a 'perfectly adorable little chair and table' set for them. To Charlie, it was an amusing little episode but he never knew what Layla thought. Maybe she was embarrassed? He never asked, but should have. He asked now, just to have a way to begin this conversation,

"I never asked you at the time Layla, but how did you feel when your mother made the comment about the "little set" she bought. Did that embarrass you, that our home was so small?"

Layla was prepared for almost anything but this caught her quite off guard. She sputtered for a moment and then replied "Of course not! I love this place and I've never been embarrassed by anything we did. My mother knows that."

"Wouldn't you prefer something bigger, more what you were used to? I know this must have always been less than you would want."

The direction of Charlie's comments was disconcerting to Layla. What she wanted to do was throw herself at Charlie's mercy and beg his forgiveness but this talk of the size of their home was madness.

"What are you doing Charlie? Why aren't you yelling at me, accusing me of betraying you and Christine? Why are you doing this, this silly game? Is it just to get even with me? To hurt me like I hurt you?"

Charlie didn't answer. He simply looked down at his hands which were clenched between his knees. He was struggling, trying to find the words to say what he needed to say. He finally stood; his hands still clenched together so hard his knuckles were bleached white with the strain. He finally swallowed, looked at Layla directly with eyes wide and tear-filled and said,

"I want to come home! I want to be here; with you and Christine. I just want to forget everything and come home!"

Layla was so shocked at Charlie's words, she couldn't speak. She stared at him, her mouth open and her eyes wide, trying to convince herself that she had heard him clearly. He wanted to come home? To her and their child? No accusations, no yelling, no recriminations? She stood up, walked slowly over to where he still stood, frozen in that pose of agony and wrapped her arms around him as tight as she could. She clutched him to her, forgetting for the moment what was between them and prayed out loud.

"Thank you God! Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

Layla backed away, pulled Charlie's hands apart, took one to her lips and held it there.

"Come home now my love. Come home right now, where you belong."

So, Charlie did as she asked and moved back home. But something was different; Charlie had changed and Layla would soon understand that nothing was as she hoped. Nothing!