Charlie and Layla Pt. 04

"There's one other thing I have to tell you now. It may make you reconsider your position and I wouldn't be surprised if it means the end of our marriage. But I have to be honest and tell you now while I have the courage. There can be no more secrets between us.

"One reason why the decision to have sex with Carson Jennings in exchange for a recommendation was so easy for me was that it wouldn't be the first time I cheated on you. The only other time was five years ago and it was only one time. It was with Jake Monroe, a boy I dated in high school and the one who took my virginity. I met him after a meeting with some clients and I was happy about landing a big contract. Jake and I talked and I had more to drink than I realized and I ended up in his room. It was horrible and after it was over, I was sick to my stomach. You have to remember that time: I took a few days off from work and you thought I was suffering from a bad case of the stomach flu. But it wasn't the flu; it was guilt!

"That was the only time in our marriage before this that I was unfaithful to you Charlie, and it was wrong. I never told you because I didn't want to hurt you. But the sad part of it was that since you never knew and were never hurt, it occurred to me that I could do it again this time and we would both benefit from the money and the promotion. I know now how wrong I was and I am truly ashamed: ashamed of my greed and my causing you to doubt yourself. That is something I can never forgive myself for.

"But Charlie, I had to make you see that it was never any lack on your part. You have always been more than enough for me and both times I cheated, it meant nothing. You are my only love and the only man I have ever made love with. You are all I want or need."

Layla bowed her head and waited for Charlie's response. She had given him all she had to give. The first time and this time were two times too many and she had her doubts whether Charlie could ever forgive her. She couldn't forgive herself, so why should he?

Charlie

After Layla finished, he was too confused to make sense of most of what he just heard. It was clear that she had done this to impress on him that the sex with Carson Jennings was just as she said. She wanted him to understand that and to make him see that it was only for the purpose of her job and not to find satisfaction outside the marriage. He appreciated the thought and the reasoning and typical of Charlie, took it as it was intended. Why she thought she was justified when she chose to do it in the first place was not within his ability to determine. Nor was the earlier episode with her high school lover.

Charlie sat there, not looking at Layla. He was trying to decide what he should say or do and he was having no luck. It was difficult, this whole thing. He had the advice of his mother and father, the advice of his friend Walt, and the assurance of the hooker whose name he couldn't remember that he was more than able to satisfy a woman in the bedroom. He also knew that he had also been unfaithful to Layla. That was on his mind and had been since it happened. He was not of the opinion that he had a 'get out of jail free' card because of what Layla did. As he saw it, if her fidelity was so important to him, then why would his fidelity to her not be as important to her?

The one thing that kept coming into Charlie's orderly and disciplined mind was that Layla had been unfaithful twice in their marriage and Charlie had only been unfaithful once. That inequality had to be rectified if Charlie was to make any sense out of any reconciliation. And he did want to reconcile. That much he knew. He had come home partly because he wanted to be near Layla even if he couldn't have her as a woman. But that had been put to rest in Charlie's mind by Layla's demonstration. A quarter of a million dollars and loss of her job was a very strong argument. Charlie was very keen on strong arguments.

Charlie came to a decision. Right or wrong, he was going forward and he would take his chances. He stood, waited until Layla looked up before speaking.

"I accept your words and the proof you gave me. I believe you when you say that I was enough for you in the bedroom. The money will be used for college for Christine. I want no part of it since I know the source. But it is honest money and it cost you a lot so she will benefit and in so doing, clean the money of its taint."

"Thank you, Charlie. I wanted so much for you to understand that you were never the cause of what I did. It was my fault and only my fault. I never stopped loving you or wanting you. My guilt will be my punishment. Only you know how bad that can be. You know me so well."

"True. There is something I have to do and I think that once I do, we can decide how to move forward and see if we can get back to our life together. There will have to be changes and we have to face reality, but that can be done. And you have some decisions to make about your own life. I want you to be thinking of that while I take care of some things for myself. Is that acceptable to you?"

"Of course it's acceptable. Anything you want me to do, I'll do. Anything Charlie. Just tell me."

"I will, but I want you to be thinking while I'm gone. Think about what you did and why you did it. If you don't understand why, you have no chance of not repeating it. You will surely do it again when the conditions are right."

"Never! No, Charlie, I will never do it again!"

"I've already told you that your promises are worthless. You broke your word twice after promising me you would forsake all others.All others, Layla, so please, do as I ask. I will want you to tell me why when I return. Do you understand?"

Shocked by the anger behind his words, Layla straightened up and face him directly.

"Yes. I understand. Where are you going?"

"It's best that you not know. I will be back, but I don't know exactly when."

Skye

Charlie returned to the bar where he had discovered a truth that he needed at that time. Now he needed something entirely different and he planned on enjoying himself thoroughly. He parked, walked into the bar and looked around. He was pleasantly surprised to find her sitting at the bar by herself. She saw him come in and her face broke into a huge smile.

"Charlie! I'm so happy to see you. Buy me a drink?"

"I will if you tell me your name. I forgot to ask before."

"My name is. . . . . . ." She looked around, her pretty face screwed up in concentration. She leaned toward him, putting her mouth next to his ear and whispered, "my real name is Patty. No one else knows that but you, Charlie. Please don't spread it around. Everyone else knows me as Skye."

"Good enough, Skye. Would you like to come with me? I can get us a room where we can talk and then have some fun. Is that OK? I'll pay you whatever you ask for a few hours."

"I told you before Charlie. For you, it's no charge."

Charlie, no longer timid and shy, no longer just average as he had believed for so long, left with Patty.

Layla

Layla watched Charlie leave and thought to herself that she was so lucky that he had chosen to come home and try to move forward. She wasn't foolish enough to believe he had forgiven her but she was happy nonetheless. Her Charlie was coming back.

Layla walked upstairs to the bedroom where she shed her clothes and went in to take a shower. It was her intent to make herself beautiful for her husband and try to seduce him back to their bed. It was a strange position to find herself in. Men had always desired her; her husband had always loved her body and how she made him feel. She knew he noticed when other men looked at her. She certainly did and she was pleased that, when they did, Charlie knew she belonged to him and him alone. At least he thought that was true and for a while, he had come to doubt that.

She was confident and secure around Charlie most of the time, knowing that he desired her and that she could always count on him to be there for her. But not now. Charlie had refused her advances and had lived beside her for almost a month without touching her in any way intimately. Her confidence was shaken and her belief in her control over her husband was gone. Destroyed by her foolishness.

As she dried her body, put on the powder he loved, dabbed a spot of perfume between her breasts and under her ear, she wondered if she could win him back. The thought that perhaps she couldn't sent a chill down her back and made her legs weak. She held on to the edge of the counter until she felt control return. She finished her application of lipstick and walked over to the bed. She sat there, trying to find the answers Charlie asked of her. She was confused about Jake Monroe. Carson Jennings was clearer but no less disturbing.

As she considered both times, the one thing that came to her was that in both cases, she had thought only briefly about Charlie. The more she thought about it, the more she began to see that Charlie had never been part of her considerations. With Jake, her inhibitions were low because of the alcohol but even as she sat with him, talked with him and finally went up to his room, she never thought of Charlie. She should have remembered while she was sitting at that table that she was Charlie's wife and his wife shouldn't be sitting in a bar with another man and drinking. It wasn't until afterwards that she did and then the guilt happened. Afterwards!

With Carson, she had thought only fleetingly about Charlie. She had dismissed him so easily by saying he would never know. As if that made a difference! And the guilt again came only afterwards. In both cases, Charlie was never a deterrent, only a consequence.

It came to her then so suddenly. Her problem had been that her Charlie was so calm, so quiet and so retiring that she had put him aside when she had to make a decision for herself. She simply ignored him as if he wasn't a part of her life; as if he wasn't a part of that decision. Just as he did tonight when he decided to do something: he hadn't considered her or asked her opinion or even informed her of what it was. He went off by himself because she had made herself irrelevant to him.

As that thought became clear in her mind, it occurred to her to wonder where Charlie was. Could he be out with another woman? Could he be doing what she had done? The thought made her begin to shiver and she felt the stirrings of illness in her stomach. Oh, God! Had she driven him to do to her what she had done to him? She ran to the bathroom once more but this time to let out the sickness that her thoughts brought. She suddenly realized that this was how her Charlie had to think when he followed her to that motel room and watched her go inside with Carson. It was too much! Too hard!

Hours later, she was still sitting on the edge of the bed, waiting for her husband to return home to her. Layla was no longer confident and secure in his love for her. She was no longer the strong confident woman who knew that men desired her and that her husband wanted her. She was no longer the woman who she had been only a month before. She was terrified that her husband, the man that she truly loved, no longer loved her.

It was almost morning when Layla lay herself down, alone in her bed as she had been for too long. Her Charlie hadn't come home at all last night and her last thought was to wonder if she would sleep alone forever.

Layla and Charlie

They did as Charlie suggested: the following day, after Charlie came home late in the morning, they sat down and talked. There was a significant difference in the two that morning. Charlie was calm, very controlled, willing to listen and consider all that Layla said. He gave very little and asked for a lot. He heard the conclusion Layla had come to the night before and agreed with her. In his typical fashion, he suggested ways to correct that failing in his own character. Layla listened and agreed, although with a small grain of fear as she heard what he intended. She realized that his trust in her was no longer absolute.

For her part, Layla found herself with little room to bargain. She was in the wrong and Charlie was not as forgiving as she expected. There was a new strength in him, and a smugness about him that she didn't care for. But, as they talked, she realized that the new Charlie was much stronger and more secure than the old Charlie. She had to get used to the change, knowing that it was her actions that brought it about. She felt no less love for him and maybe a new respect was born. It was a respect that Charlie demanded.

Shortly after they had reached their new accord, Charlie returned to Layla's bed and they made love again. Layla had missed him so much that she was willing to do anything he asked. There were several new demands but none Layla found objectionable. As she assumed the position for one of the new positions Charlie liked, she wondered where he had learned it. She lost her thought as Charlie entered her. All she could think of then was how wonderful it felt to be so full.

Layla found a new job and stayed with it for only a year before she became pregnant with their second daughter. Charlie suggested Patricia for the name, Patty for short. Layla was surprised and asked Charlie where the name came from but Charlie simply smiled and said it was a name from the past and one that brought him pleasant memories. While Layla had her suspicions, she pushed them back and agreed with his choice.

She wondered again, as she had for the past year where Charlie went that night. He would only smile when she asked, much as he smiled when she asked about the name Patty.

The end.