Charlie Ch. 03

3

There was an uncomfortable time period after which I had received my acceptance letter and lost my job, but hadn't left for college yet so was still living with Jay. Jay had completely turned his back on me. He couldn't face me for some reason. When I'd gotten accepted he must've felt I'd left him, so instead of supporting me, or maybe even fucking following me (he didn't have much of a life to speak of back home) he left me. Asshole. He'd started sleeping on the couch. Whenever I tried to talk to him about it he acted as though I was abandoning him. That summer we were broken up but still living together for a few months. During that summer, to keep myself occupied and out of the discomforts of the house, I enrolled in an intensive course called Great American Tragedies. (I was most taken with Tennessee Williams' plays.) My final paper was a comparison of the play Cat on a Hot Tin Roof and the film version. Justine took the course with me and we frequently sat side by side, piggybacking each other's arguments. Justine knew her plays inside and out and I found this very agreeable. We often met for coffee after class to continue discussion. We were discussing A Streetcar Named Desire. I told her there was a definite theme of illusion versus reality in this one. I sat back in my chair and awaited her response. Justine always challenged me. She thought I didn't know what she was doing, but the truth was, I enjoyed the bantering.

"I dunno. I just don't see it," Justine replied. She did see it. I knew it.

I said, "I mean Blanch actually says flat out, 'I don't want realism, I want magic." I told her Stanley was the antithesis of that. We looked into each other's eyes, staring each other down. We sipped our foamy coffee drinks. Justine's face suddenly changed.

She said, "So whaddaya think of Mason? In the back row?" She was leaning forward in her armchair, legs crossed within a sleek pencil skirt, feet in high heels with pointed toes.

I was like, "Justine! I thought we were having a serious conversation here!"

"We are," she said. I got kind of excited and leaned in. "What do you think of him? He's always looking at you." My heart sank a little.

I said something like, "I guess he's alright." I said it because I thought that's what I was supposed to say. Justine acted like she and I were on equal footing, and that was sweet of her, but really I was still a social nobody, and she was an everybody. I was still calculating in her presence. And then she continued to press me.

"I just think... honey. Jay's left you. You've got two months of freedom. Spend it."

I said, "I dunno. There aren't any guys who stand out. There aren't any guys who do it for me."

Justine uncrossed and crossed her legs. She sipped her coffee. Yeah, I stared at her. Justine was overweight, maybe according to a doctor, but her legs were finely shaped. She had slender ankles and rounded calves and the curves of her thighs were nothing short of pure femaleness.

"No guys huh? What about girls? Do any girls stand out for you?" Justine got to the point. I couldn't give into her. She just seemed like too much of a force. I felt like she would devour me. I was terrified. She placed her legs side by side. I yearned to look up her skirt but dared not. I had to get out of this conversation fast.

"That was just a kiss, Justine," I said. I shrugged my shoulders and pretended to feel cool about things. But Justine pressed.

"I don't mean kissing, Charlie. But you know that kiss felt good. You know you kissed me back. You know you wanted to touch me. Why not? We're two consenting adults who obviously are compatible, sexually and intellectually. Why not go back to my place?" I thought through Justine's argument. She was right. That kiss did feel good. I did want to feel every part of her. We were compatible. Why not? She made it all seem so simple.

"Why not?" I said. And then I got in my car and it seemed less and less simple the further I drove. I thought about how she was my friend, and how that complicates things. And how she's a girl, and how that complicates things. Funny, I didn't think about Jay once. I followed Justine to her apartment. It was decorated simply, with inexpensive furniture from various warehouse stores. White walls. Her bedroom was completely different though. The walls were red. The sheets were silver. There were red cuffs attached to all four posts of the bed. The bed sat in the middle of the room, not up against a wall as one might normally place a bed. I asked if the cuffs were for me or for her and I gestured at them.

"Those are for you," said Justine, matter-of-factly and condescendingly. She ran her hands along my body. She seemed to be gauging my reactions to each of her touches, paying attention to me. She undressed me, running her mouth along my skin, down the front of me. When she unbuttoned my blouse, she inhaled as if tasting me. I let Justine bind me, first my ankles, then my wrists. I was bound face down, spread eagle, but the restraints were loosened by a bit of rope, so I could turn slightly from side to side.

Justine asked me, in a new voice now, very curiously, "Tell me, Charlie, are you a bitch?"

Jay had shown me some BDSM porn before but we'd never, you know... But I was familiar with what I was supposed to say. I slipped into that bottom role pretty easily in Justine's hands. It felt so natural to me. The words that came out of my mouth were so organic to me. "Oh yes. I'm such a nasty little bitch."

"Are you my bitch?" asked Justine. I arched my back, lifting my ass into the air and waving it side to side. I wanted to show myself off. Show off the things I had seen in myself, in the mirror, the things I had hidden with my corduroys. I wanted her to see the suppleness of my ass, the delicacy of my inner thighs, the way my waist had cinched so much higher and so much more extremely than other girls' waists. I wondered what she saw in me, under all that matted hair. I tried to shake the hair from my face. Justine tenderly brushed it aside.

"I'm so totally your bitch," I said, smiling. I felt dirty there in Justine's bedroom. I felt dirty and excited. I felt powerful there. I knew I could end it at any moment, with our safeword, but I let Justine push me, press into me, into my ass, into my pussy, Justine did this and then pressed her fingers into my mouth and stepped back from her kneeling position over me.

She stood at the head of the bed, her back to me but so that I could see her. She untucked her silk blouse from her skirt. She unzipped her pencil skirt and placed her thumbs inside the waistband. She slowly wriggled her way out of the skirt, bending down lower and lower, exposing more and more of herself, exposing the fullness of her rear and in between the two mounds of her ass were a perfectly waxed anus and pussy, with full outer lips and very thin, pink inner labia. She lowered the skirt more, wriggling less as she was past the widest point, and she exposed full hamstrings, curved knees, those rounded calves with slender ankles and finally the round heel of her shoes finished off with a spike. I remember every detail. Justine turned around and unbuttoned each button of her white blouse watching me watch her intently. When she removed her blouse she exposed a black leather waist cincher and tremendous rounded breasts that fell slightly over the cincher. I struggled in my restraints because I wanted to feel this body that was so different from mine. I wanted to squeeze Justine's breasts, her ass, run my fingers down Justine's legs to her spike heels.

Justine walked around the bed on the hardwood floors to the foot and rummaged for something in the chest there. I couldn't see what. The next thing I felt was Justine's hair tickling my feet and running up my legs, in between them, up my back. My hair was in a mass over my face again. As Justine ran her body up mine, I felt a new addition to Justine's body drag itself up my back. Justine was wearing a strap on.

The strap on was black leather with silk ruffles around the edges. At the base of the ruffles was laced a burgundy ribbon. In the back the strap on came down to a point, as a thong or a g-string might, and was laced up at the center of this point with some thick burgundy and black striped ribbon. On account of Justine's full figure, the strap on wasn't laced fully shut in the rear. The flesh of her thighs bulged around the thigh straps. She looked bound by the strap on. Attached to the front of it was a naturally cock shaped dildo in dark purple. It had a very wide head and moderately wide shaft. It was made of a relatively stiff, unforgiving material, like stiff silicone.

Justine pulled my hair aside and I turned my face. Justine licked my ear. She licked my earlobe, the crevice of my upper ear, she licked behind my ear, she licked my jaw line down from where it met my ear, leaving behind a trail of saliva. It was like she really wanted me. She kissed the side of my mouth, tongue gently probing outwards. I lifted my head and kissed her back with desperation. I'd never wanted anyone so bad. She was so hot. I was so turned on by how she just knew what to do. I wanted it, that knowledge. I wanted to grope it. I wanted more access to Justine but was bound. Justine pushed me slightly on my side, as far as the rope would allow, and ran her finger from my lips down to my breasts. She pinched my nipples, pulling on them. I was so used to Jay never even bothering to take my shirt off. Such attentions were foreign and overwhelming. Justine wetted my nipples with her mouth and inhaled over them. This made them freeze. I bent my head down to run my lips across the top of Justine's silky curls. Justine rolled me back onto my stomach and ran her mouth lower down my body. She spread me open and licked my ass. She felt the loose skin around it, the taught, firm flesh just beneath. Later, when describing it in detail, Justine told me my asshole was dark all around. Justine licked this darkness. She put her tongue in. She put a finger in my ass and I recoiled.

"Have you never done this?" I shook my head that I hadn't. Later, in college, I had heard horror stories about other people's first encounters with anal sex, and learned just how skillful Justine was. I was so relaxed. "Then we'll go real slow. Just try and relax."

Justine backed away from my ass for a moment. She let her fingers stray between the crevices of my labia and down to my clit. Justine spit on it, a trail of saliva running from Justine's mouth down to me. Justine rubbed the spit in, rubbing it all along my slit, sticking her fingers into my cunt and pulling them out. She ran her wet fingers back to my ass and put them in, one at a time, pulling at the flesh of it, pressing me, all of me, pushing into me, pulling at my most untouched, most perfect of openings. Justine straddled me and entered my ass with the purple dildo. All I could do was lie there, powerlessly penetrated. I felt the head of the dildo press into me, open me, stretch me. I felt my anus close in around the head once the shaft was in and Justine began pumping into and out of me, but never all the way out. She pressed me hard, she pounded me for several minutes. I let out an occasional whimper when the pressure inside me was almost too much to bear. I had never felt such a fullness inside. I had never felt such sensitivity externally.

Then Justine began pulling all the way out and all the way back in again. I had to feel the width of that gigantic head pulling out of and pressing back into me, over and over. I let out a cry with every thrust. To let her know. I think Justine sensed she had pushed me to my limits and she pulled out and uncuffed my wrists and turned my upper body over onto my back, as much as the restraints would allow. Justine climbed onto my face. My face. She pressed her cunt into my mouth and I opened it. I opened my fucking mouth. I licked everything I could get my tongue onto with a voracious appetite. Nothing had ever tasted so sweet. I could finally touch this body. I swallowed Justine whole, groping her ass, sticking fingers in, running my hands up and down Justine's legs, fondling the tips of Justine's spike heels. Justine slid herself up and down my face, tongue, mouth. She rode me and her ass seemed stimulated by my tongue, her clit by my nose, and everything in between. She finally seemed as frenzied with me as I was with her. We were together. My tongue went in Justine's ass, in Justine's pussy, I sucked on her thin, pink inner labia, I licked her outer labia, I ran my tongue through the crevice between the two. I kissed Justine's thighs, I licked Justine's clit and nibbled at it. Jesus I nearly suffocated in Justine's womanhood. I nearly drowned in Justine's juices. Compared to Jay, Justine tasted sweet, familiar and therefore comforting. She smelled the same as she tasted, but more thickly, more richly. My senses were overwhelmed. I felt the sweat of Justine's thighs on my cheeks. I could feel the muscles in those thighs start to tremble. Justine's torso convulsed once and she collapsed over me, pulling my hair. Hard. Jerking it irregularly. Justine rode me until she came, squirted all over my face.

"Did you pee?" I asked her. I didn't know about female ejaculation then. I didn't know about female anything then. I just knew I liked her and I felt overwhelmed.

"No stupid. I squirted. It happens whenever I have a really good orgasm. You should be flattered." Justine lied down on her side next to me.

"Well then I am," I told her, still turned on my side, but now with my hands free. I was free to touch all the parts of Justine's body I craved earlier. I grabbed Justine's breast and squeezed it, pressing it against Justine's chest cavity. I just wanted to push her back, just for a second. I massaged it, as if swallowing with the whole of my hand, the entirety of Justine's enormous breast. Justine let out a breath and dropped her head back. I ran my fingers down the perfectly inward arching curve of Justine's corset and down to her hips, her ass. I ran my hands along these parts in a circular motion, first caressing, then massaging, then finally pulling the mass of flesh aside and ran a finger over the wrinkly skin over Justine's anus. I ran my fingers through her slit, over her clit and pulled away, over her thigh, squeezing it. Justine uncuffed me and we dressed each other. We kissed repeatedly, pressing our mouths together, feeling the contours of each other's lips slide along one another. I went back home to Jay with the taste of pussy on my face. But I continued visiting Justine, as her submissive, for the rest of the summer. I would visit Justine's apartment under the pretense of going out for coffee or going window shopping. I remained withdrawn from Jay, as he did from me. We rarely spoke in each other's presence. When I left for college, it was a relief for us both.

I had to take out loans to pay for college, but I didn't care. At least I was going to be the one to pay for it. At least I wouldn't owe any one person anything for it. I took my Cutlass Ciera that I paid for with wages from the grocery store, loaded it up with those things that were most precious to me (a small TV, my Ramones tee-shirt, and my favorite beach towel were among them), hopped in the car after kissing Mom and Dad and drove off