Chilli Oil

"Hello?"

"Hi there." I replied, my tone seeped in honey and dark desire. The changes in my voice caught me off guard, and for a moment I spluttered before regaining my libidinous composure.

I continued. "So, we were at the supermarket earlier, I was behind you - yeah, the one with the green top - and after you left I realised you'd forgot your phone..."

"Yeah, sorry to call a little late, but I'm a little tied up at the moment, so I'm afraid you'll have to call on me..." I mock-pouted.

I listened to his steady voice, and replied "Oh yeah, it's no trouble, the pleasure is all mine, mister...?" I dropped a little more bait, and was rewarded with a first name.

"Well hey, Andrew, it's Suzy here. So, about the phone then... Oh, you can come over? Oh, well I can't wait..." I was flirting hard enough to break something, and I figured he had grasped a thread of my drift.

Dusting my words with implication, but making sure to leave that little bit hanging open, so as not to scare my boy away, I instructed him on how to get to my house and to 'just come right in' when he got there. Just before I cut, I added, ever so casually, trying to keep the ravenous quakes of excitement from my voice, "Oh, and do remember to bring that chilli oil with you."

I disconnected, and clapped my hands together, anticipating what was to come, and began to make preparations.

After shoving the heap of groceries from the kitchen table into the nearest cupboard and emptying the horrible coffee into the sink, I hurriedly unlocked the door of my house. I began to sashay my way to my wardrobe, before thinking better and leaving the front door ajar. Who needs subtlety when you're this horny?

I made my way to the wardrobe, an almost barren walk-in, and found, or rather made, the sexiest apparel I could. The fact that none of the clothes fit was only a bonus here, as I squeezed my gargantuan jugs and mammoth booty into a tortured short, crimped skirt and a black, lightly laced bra about a thousand sizes too small. As I struggled into it, I could see my athletic muscles moving beneath my skin, and ran my hand over them, amazed at the combination of firmness and suppleness.

As I applied a metric ton of makeup, I pondered what I was going to do about work. Well, given my plans for tonight, a heck of a lot of overtime... and probably some explaining too. In my defence, I think I was handling this life changing event pretty well, though perhaps not entirely rationally.

At least the skirt had an elastic... When I stubbed my toe, still not used to my fertility-goddess form, a sharp inhalation sent my bra across the room in smithereens. I opted then for a ridiculous red push-up (as if I needed it, not that I minded the effect though...). I lit three candles and slipped on to the now lumpy mattress, handcuffing myself to the headboard with only minor difficulty (I figured it was about time to break in the joke present my friends had got me for my birthday). Before doing so I made sure to leave the undersized green shawl very obviously in the doorway.

I lay down seductively on the bed. The planks creaked and groaned, in protest, but continued to do so as I lay still. The tightness was already constricting me, and between the feelings of horniness and the occasional stitch popping, I wondered if I might still be growing a little. Either way, I now made my peace with the piece of furniture, which before too long would be wrecked beyond any hope of repair, and waited the ten minutes till Andrew, and the last bottle of chilli oil, would arrive.