Choices and Sacrifices Ch. 04

Okay, I'm just going to say that the plot will be thickening with the next chapter, there isn't much sex in this one and thank you all for the feedback!

Thanks to my wonderful editor, fcknfresh

*

Sabrina didn't quite know how to feel. How could he say he loved her? The confidence in his post-orgasm voice was something she had no idea could be so convincing. The thought of rushing their relationship right into the ground was bombarding her to the point of insanity. She felt strongly about Keegan; he treated her like a princess. He was so compassionate, even-tempered and naturally sexy—plus he laughed at all her jokes. But she didn't know if that was love or not. It didn't seem like he was expecting her to return the words right away and for that she was thankful.

She lay in bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. Keegan was sound asleep with his head securely resting in the crook of her neck and arm wrapped around her midsection.

Sabrina stifled a sigh and turned her head away from him. Her clock read a little after 12 AM. With the realization that she wouldn't be able to sleep within the near future, she carefully slipped out of bed. When she reached the door, she turned to make sure Keegan was undisturbed.

A window right behind her bed allowed a pattern of light to fall over his body. He was nestled in the heap of comforters and sheets with his arms outspread where Sabrina once lay. His tanned skin was eye-catching against the darkness of the room; he was the most visible thing inside.

Sabrina padded into her kitchen after putting her t-shirt and panties back on. The untouched Chinese food was put in the fridge for breakfast. She cleaned off the counters, shut off the lights and settled on her couch. She tucked her feet under herself and put her laptop on the cushion beside her. Duplex was still waiting to be played, so she decided to watch it. With the volume as low as her ears would allow, she watched the opening credits.

The movie was doing a pretty decent job of keeping her mind off of the man in her bed. Although every once in awhile she found herself day dreaming and missing a solid 10 minutes.

"What's wrong?" Sabrina nearly jumped out of her seat. Keegan was standing right beside her, his crotch level with her eyes. Sabrina took a deep breath to calm her heart's pounding. She continued to stare at the screen for another second.

"Nothing's wrong." She replied. Keegan picked up the laptop and closed it, instantly stopping the DVD and silencing the room. There was almost no light except for the stars outside the window. Keegan sat in front of her and put the computer on the floor.

"You thinking about what I said?" He asked, looking ahead. Sabrina felt a little déjà-vu of the day they sat on the bench. She had been focused on him while he looked ahead and away from her.

"Yeah." She sighed without hesitation.

"Okay," He said the word slowly. "What're you thinking?" It took Sabrina few seconds to start talking, and she questioned how she felt so comfortable sharing her thoughts.

"I just feel," She cut herself short, racking her brain for the right words. "We're—this is all happening so fast Keegan. I don't want to—I don't want either of us to get hurt." She whispered. They looked into one another's eyes while she awaited his next sentence.

"I won't hurt you." He said silently. "I could never live with myself if I did." Sabrina inwardly groaned. Why hadn't she anticipated his heart fluttering response? A few seconds passed gracelessly between them.

"You were really good... earlier." Keegan grumbled. Sabrina gave him a playful warning glance.

"We aren't discussing that." She tried to hide her smile of embarrassment while her cheeks heated.

"Why not?" Sabrina sighed heavily but didn't respond. Something about Keegan's reference to their sex made her feel like a teenage girl having a sex talk with her father.

Keegan reached across the length of the love seat for Sabrina's arms. With his hands steadily around each wrist, he guided her onto his lap and positioned himself to lie on the couch. His feet dangled over the armrest while Sabrina's bent knee sat between his legs.

She melted into the curve of his chest and tried to memorize his heartbeat. Keegan's wide hand idly ran up and down her clad back.

"I know it seems rushed, but I know how I'm feeling." He did know how he was feeling, and a part of him was scared shitless. But another piece, the larger one, was taking it all in as he went. Keegan wouldn't be concerned with chronologically monitoring his emotions and making sure they fell in line with the standards. He would try and be with Sabrina every chance he got, and if that meant he fell head over heels, so be it.

"Are you sure?" She asked.

"Yes Bri, so be quiet and go to sleep." He grasped her hand and placed her own thumb inside her mouth. She gurgled sweetly and after hearing that, he couldn't help but join in. When it grew soundless again, he draped his arms around her and fell into a deep slumber.

*

Sabrina's heels were clacking speedily up the walkway of her church. Her hands were frantically trying to keep her clothes from flying up around her. It was a beautiful day; the sun was shining brutally onto her shades and there was a light breeze. The position and intensity of the sun's rays was a reminder of how late Sabrina actually was. Unconsciously, her heels picked up speed.

She wore a knee length red chiffon dress with an cinched waist. The sleeves were wide and allowed her to move freely while the length was modestly above her knees.

She approached the front entrance and her pulse accelerated in link with her nerves. A petite usher opened the door for her. He was handsome and had deep chocolate brown eyes.

"Good morning Ms. Solomon." He greeted with a warm smile. She pushed her glasses onto her crown so he could see her eyes.

"Morning Keith." Her reply was so breathy—she was too out of shape. She used the brief walk to the church's service room to collect her wheezing. Another usher gave her a grin and appraising look when she reached the entry.

Sabrina could understand his look; she was in a great mood this morning. She normally didn't get so dressed up for church, but today, something compelled her to put more effort into her appearance. So she'd coated her lashes and tried an intricate bun.

The second usher silently signaled for her to follow him. He led her down the aisles and between pews full of people. She couldn't remember the last time she felt so watched and scrutinized.

Sabrina could see her mother standing with everyone else, yet searching for her 3^rd daughter. Sabrina bit her lip when her menacing eyes landed on her. Thankfully, Sabrina was sitting in an aisle seat beside Brittany, with her mother on the opposite end. Sabrina put her purse below her chair and sang along with the choir, completely having missed the opening prayers.

Brittany handed a baby to Sabrina. Sabrina looked into the striking child's eyes and smirked.

"Thanks for watching her." She whispered to her sister. She bounced the baby to the sound of the accompaniment.

"You're welcome—just don't be late again." Brittany said, looking Sabrina right in her eyes as if to put fear into her. Sabrina gave her a sassy look.

"Wh—" Sabrina was cut short.

"Shhh!" Their mother spat, leaning forward to make eye contact with the talking women. They headed her warning and abruptly ended their chatter.

Sabrina looked at the choir and spotted the mother of the baby she was holding. Rochelle was Sabrina's best friend. She was one of the lead singers in the choir, and had an amazing voice.

Her honey brown eyes looked at Sabrina and she gave her a coy grin. The expression told her that Rochelle would be expecting some answers for her slip in.

Rochelle had caramel tinted skin that shimmered in gold undertones. Her hair was set in tamed ringlets around her shoulders. She was petite and entirely eye-catching. She and Sabrina had been best friends before she left for Rhode Island. They stayed in contact and talked regularly throughout her college years. During that time, Sabrina attended Rochelle's wedding and sat in the waiting room as she awaited the birth of her daughter, Mena.

But after her birth, Sabrina could remember Rochelle was having a hard time trying to balance her new world. Her husband was Jewish, and wouldn't attend the Sunday morning services that Rochelle was committed to. After a rough patch in their marriage in regard to how they'd raise Mena, they compromised. Mena would follow through with all Jewish and Christian customs.

Neither of their families were fond of the idea. Rochelle could almost guarantee bold remarks about the private topic when in his families' presence. But Sabrina was always there with an ear and a shoulder when she needed it. Now, she was stronger. Rochelle had grown comfortable with the nasty comments and finally settled in with the fact that she'd never be a part of her husband's family the way she hoped. So to make sure she continued to sing, Sabrina offered to watch Mena on Sunday mornings. Their friendship only strengthened over the past few months when Sabrina got a job as her dental assistant.

*

The service was over, and Sabrina was anticipating her mother's questions. People stood, talking and slowly migrating toward the conference room full of refreshments. Sabrina put a cooing Mena inside her car seat and began looking around for Rochelle.

"Sabrina." Her mother hardly ever called her by her full first name. Slowly, she turned to face her powerful eyes. "I don't want to know why you were late, just don't let it happen again."

It was some sort of ritual for the four women to arrive at church at 7:30 on the dot—a half hour before the services even began. They'd sit in the small room beside the front entrance and mingle with anyone around. The Solomon women were somewhat like church celebrities. They stood, sipping coffee, smiling robotically and politely greeting familiar faces as if they were strangers. It was almost as pointless as it seemed, if not more considering the same events occurred at the end of service too. Although, Sabrina could see why her mother would be upset. Even she was embarrassed to stagger in so late.

Her mother's burning brown eyes flashed behind Sabrina's body for a moment. When they settled on her again, Sabrina didn't miss the slight look of annoyance on her face.

"Hello, Ms. Solomon." Rochelle announced. She appeared on Sabrina's left and gave Erica a warm smile despite the scowl she received in return.

"Hi, Rochelle. How are you?" The question was extremely rigid. Sabrina winced at her mother's unfriendliness. Her body language was unwelcoming and overly defensive. But she knew Rochelle was used to it, if not from Erica then from others.

"I'm well, thank you." When Rochelle turned her attention toward Sabrina's arms, Erica shifted on her feet.

"I'll talk to you later." Her mother said, leaning in to kiss her cheek in a greeting and departing gesture.

"Bye ma." She said. Her mother strolled out of the church with her daughters flanking.

To see them walking out so uniformly while she stood staring after was unnerving. Especially after being somewhat reprimanded. Sabrina felt an odd sense of disconnection from her family at that moment. Not to say she hadn't ever felt it before. Lately, she was noticing how different her sisters' morals were in comparison to hers. Ivy had sworn to celibacy until marriage while Brittany was committed to everything Christian and holy. Even the way they handled the divorce had made her feel alienated for awhile.

"Come sit." Rochelle said. Sabrina shifted Mena in her arms and sat down on a cushioned pew. Both women had their eyes glued on the baby. She had pale, almost egg shell white skin with Rochelle's eyes and her father's slender nose.

"So what's up?" Rochelle asked. The question would've seemed typical and quite appropriate if it wasn't used in such a tone. It implied that Rochelle wanted to know something specific, and that Sabrina knew exactly what it was.

"With what?" She replied.

"What do you mean 'with what?'" Rochelle laughed, finally taking her eyes off of Mena. Rochelle whispered her next sentence. "What's up with you stumbling into a 7:30 service at 9:15 on shaky knees?"

Sabrina chuckled. This was why she loved Rochelle so much—and it was also why her mother despised her too. Rochelle was such a fresh breath of air to Sabrina. After dealing with straight forward, spiritually opinionated siblings and mother, it was fun to unwind with Rochelle. Her conversations weren't centered on the bible, even though she was an active believer. She cursed; something Sabrina hardly ever did. She was also truthful and realistic.

"I didn't stumble in." Sabrina tried to be convincing but her smile was making it difficult. "And I was late one time, it's no big deal." She finished nonchalantly.

"For you, it is a big deal. Now tell me who he is." Sabrina sighed deeply as she thought about her morning with Keegan.

It had begun with a tender kiss on her lips. His soft touch stirred her awake at 7 o'clock, so she was already running late. As if to back up her schedule even further, he started running his hands over the curve of her hips and thighs beneath the sheets. The act alone gave her goose bumps, but his hungry eyes got her wet. His morning kiss was sweet and passionate. He was feeding off of her responses even though she was fighting them as hard as she could.

But her fight hadn't been enough to get her out of bed within fifteen minutes. And after those fifteen minutes, he managed to keep her for another ten before her fatigue and utter worry gave her the strength.

"Bean." Rochelle called, smirking at her. Sabrina's cheeks grew hot when she realized she was being watched. She looked around the church for any curious ears but returned her gaze when she saw only the pianist, and he was packing up to leave.

"He just moved here about a month ago." She whispered. "His name is Keegan."

"Keegan?" Rochelle's eyes grew wide as she said the name aloud. She leaned in closer and gave Sabrina a strange look.

"That's a white boy's name." Rochelle said the sentence so fast, Sabrina almost missed it. But when she finally put the words together, a full chortle left her lips. When she settled, she agreed by nodding her head yet sighing too.

"It is." Sabrina replied. Rochelle began laughing hysterically. It was loud in the empty church and Sabrina was glad they were the only ones around.

"Your mother is going to flip the world upside down." Rochelle finally got out. She wiped a tear from her eye.

"No she isn't." Sabrina said it quietly.

"Okay, I guess you'd know better than me." She sighed. Sabrina knew her mother could be a little judgmental, but she wasn't a racist.

*

"They didn't have any Yoohoo's so I got you Nesquick." Keegan said while coming through the door of Sabrina's apartment. She turned down the stove and faced him.

He'd just gotten back from work at the library. Sabrina texted him her need of a chocolate drink and he was more than happy to cure her craving. He had on a grey three-quarter sleeve thermal that bunched around the forearms. It was fitted, and accented his slender yet lightly muscled body. The two buttons on the collar were undone and allowed her a glimpse of his creamy chest. The black jeans gave him a dressier look.

Although he went to get one thing, he had come back with over 6 full bags of groceries. He threw the bags on the counter and sighed deeply, clearly exhausted from hauling them up to the third floor in one trip. He managed to get his body onto the counter. His legs were spread wide and he leaned his head against the cupboard above him.

"You didn't have to get all this stuff." Sabrina said, eyeing the bags once again. She began to frown as she tried to come up with a price tag for all the food he'd gotten.

"I've been here all week—I'm not going to let you feed me for free." He replied.

"I like when you're here." Sabrina started. "And you don't eat that much so I don't want you buying me all these groceries." She said matter-of-factly. Suddenly, she was traveling across the room. Keegan kept his eyes fixed on her body. He found himself hardening at the sight of her sexy outfit.

He was learning that she wasn't the type of woman to wear pants around her apartment. She had a large collection of oversized, slouchy long sleeved tee-shirts. They fell off her shoulder and tempted him with cocoa tinted skin. And when the material clung to her bottom as she strolled around the house—he usually had the flesh in his hands within a few minutes.

She found her purse and ran her hand through the lining.

"I don't know if this is enough or not." Keegan had wound his face into a mixture of anger and annoyance. Sabrina extended her hand to him and 50 dollars sat in her palm.

"Are you serious?" He asked incredulously. She gave him a look that said she was. "Sabrina, put your money back in your bag." His eyes didn't even meet hers as he said it. She took a breath to respond but Keegan interceded.

"You're going to get me upset." He ran his hand over his eyes as he exhaled that sentence. A small smile played on his lips, contrasting sexily with his statement.

"Just take the money Keegan." Sabrina whispered. A few seconds of heated tension passed before he spoke again.

"Look," Keegan hopped off the counter and stared deeply into Sabrina's eyes. They were only inches apart and she had to take a tiny step back to stop herself from accidentally touching him. "If you really want to give me something in return," His voice wasn't much more than a husky whisper. "get on your knees."

Sabrina audibly gulped. The liquid she had a hard time getting down her throat seemed to trigger moisture down below. Her heart was thudding in her ears as he awaited his request.

"What?" She croaked. She had no idea why she asked that, considering they both knew she heard him quite well. Her body's response was a clear indication. Keegan half smirked at her obvious surprise. He licked his lips and leaned into her right ear.

"I want you to suck my dick, Sabrina." She seemed to think it over for a few seconds before she began undoing his belt.

"Turn the food off first, baby." He told her thoughtfully. She looked over toward the cooking spaghetti and rushed to cut off the stove. When she returned, Keegan caught her chin and moved her eyes up to his. She didn't realize until then that she'd been avoiding his gaze.

"Relax." He pecked her promptly on the lips. She couldn't figure out why his request made her so uneasy. It was probably the fact that he hadn't made a request at all. He'd demanded her to give him pleasure, and for some reason, she loved it.

Sabrina got his jeans and briefs down to the ground. She followed them there and saw his semi hard-on threatening to poke her in the eye if she inched up any closer. She looked up at Keegan to see him conscientiously staring back at her. She guided his manhood between her lips and into her mouth. She carefully wrapped her thumb, index and middle finger around his shaft where her lips couldn't reach. In a mechanical motion, she used her digits to move the ivory skin up and down his dick.

Keegan was finding it difficult not to curse when they had sex. He knew she didn't like it, so he tried to keep his swearing to a minimum. But right now, he was biting his tongue—damn near piercing it entirely.

Her head was rhythmically tugging his length and stretching his dick to unbelievable lengths. Every time she bobbed away from his shaft, she'd lift her head toward the ceiling a bit. It allowed his skin to scrape over the roof of her mouth; the ridges sending an exhilarating chill down his spine.