Choices and Sacrifices Ch. 07 Pt. 2

"What're those?" He asked.

"They're balls of bacteria that the tonsils make. They smell bad when they're opened and cause bad breath." He nodded in compliance so she continued her tale.

"So when we got further into the cleaning process, he managed to swallow them. And I was glad because now I didn't have to look at them anymore." Her hushed tone lowered tremendously and she gave him Quincy knew the story was taking a turn for the worse. "Tell me why," She started, eliciting an amused smile from Quincy. The brazen way she began the climax of the story contrasted with their setting. "this man fell asleep and began snoring—from his mouth. " Quincy erupted into a series of chortles as he tried to keep his voice down.

"And all his crushed tonsil stones hit me right in my face." Quincy's laughter deepened when she spoke aloud what he had already inferenced. Sabrina joined in on his laughing but tried to feign sadness. When he calmed down, he took a sip of his wine.

"I'm so sorry that happened to you." He said with a grin. "But that was pretty disgusting."

Sabrina sucked her teeth in response.

*

"Thank you for dinner." Sabrina said as they pulled up to her apartment. Quincy looked in her direction and found her eyes in the darkness. He didn't respond, but only leaned his head forward to touch their lips. Sabrina closed her eyes instinctively while he pecked her sweetly. His lips were full, soft and warm. The kiss was modest, and she was thankful; she didn't think she'd be able to handle much more. Just being on the date was an accomplishment in itself.

"I'll call you later." He whispered groggily. Sabrina nodded before she stepped out and confidently walked up to her apartment.

Somehow she already knew that tonight marked a new chapter of progression.

*

"What?" Quincy spat while he threw his keys on his coffee table. He pressed the small pad beside his door that turned on the foyer's lights. His voice echoed from the entryway's high dome ceiling.

"What?" Keegan hissed. His body was on fire and his heart was fighting to thrust blood to the bulky vein aching in his forehead. He felt like he had the capacity to turn the universe upside down after hearing Quincy's voice. "Almost three fucking weeks I haven't heard from you, and you answer me with what?"

Quincy rolled his eyes. He wasn't going to argue with Keegan; there was no need. He was in high spirits and this conversation with Keegan would only fuel his ego further.

"You're calling about Sabrina, right?" He got right to the point, ready to hurt him with the update he was withholding. Somehow knowing that Keegan would be furious with him gave him more incentive. And his goodbye kiss was the thing that made him pick up the phone. Just as he was pulling up to his garage, Keegan had his phone buzzing in his pocket. The timing was scarily perfect.

"What'd she say?" Keegan barked. His white palms were moistening at the idea of finally hearing something about her. The mysteries and scenarios he made up before he went to bed would finally be put to rest. Quincy smiled widely as he got ready to respond.

"Not much..." He snorted cruelly in his best friend's ear. Whatever twisted emotion he was feeling within him warmed his heart as he parted his lips. "Because I didn't tell her." A thick, impenetrable silence fell between both men. Quincy's cheeks were upturned in sadistic pleasure while Keegan fought for composure.

He looked behind him to see Linda preparing a meal on the other side of the brick wall. A small evening wind whirled around him and he tried to capture a breath that was much needed.

"You know I could kill you, Quincy." His voice was toxic. Quincy knew he probably could. If he'd told him in person, he and Keegan would be fighting at that exact moment. Blood would be spewed on one of his walls and more than one item would be broken into pieces.

But Keegan was in Florida, a place he needed to stay for at least another two weeks. He'd stay there, beside the suicidal woman who tore him away from the love of his life and allowed Quincy an opportunity to cut between it all. There was absolutely nothing he could do.

"I get your love for her though; she's amazing. Beautiful, smart, funny—ideal." Keegan scoffed over the receiver.

"She'd never waste her time with such a sneaky piece of shit." Quincy's nostrils flared as he paced his living room. "You're a rich, spoiled little boy."

"Then you don't know her as well as you think—matter of fact, we went out for dinner tonight." Keegan's reply was instant.

"You're lying." Quincy told him her address. Keegan was quiet on the other end.

"I have no reason to lie." He laughed. "I gave her my number and a few weeks later she called. I took her to dinner and we had a great night. And those lips Keegan—they're so full and—" Quincy's cruel attempt to anger Keegan was cut short by his firm voice.

"If you fuck with—"

"If I what?" Quincy replied tiredly. "If I hurt her as badly as you did?" He paused to allow his words to resonate. "Embarrass her on the corner of a street and never speak to her again?" The statement had multiple meanings, but the largest of them was that Keegan and Sabrina would never have the relationship they once had. Even if Keegan tried every day to get back to it, Sabrina would never treat him the same as she once had. "Well, that's fucking impossible. You literally have her heartbroken. I could tell it took so much for her to go out with me but she was glad she did. And so was I."

"Keep thinking that you'll save the day. When she finds out you're just as much of a liar as I am, she'll be done with you."

"I could never compare to you; I'm not lying—she's never asked me anything about you. And I'm not a cheater so you've already got me beat." Quincy snickered. "Anything I do to her could never top you. I'll always be the better man in her eyes."

"You're right; you could never compare. She's in love with me. Not you. A couple of dates in your Audi won't undo that. Nor will it stop me from getting her back. So go ahead and get too invested in something that you'll never have, you'll end up hurt when I come back." Quincy almost headed his warning. Almost. As he settled on a realization, a hefty laugh fled his lips. It took a few seconds for him to compose himself to respond.

"Do you understand the situation you're in? You have a girlfriend. A girlfriend who you cheated on and then put in the hospital. You think she'll be in love with you after she finds out all that? Not to mention that you lied to her about it to save your own ass."

"She will always be mine Quincy, the both of you know that." Keegan ended the called and looked down at that phone afterward.

He couldn't believe what he'd just heard. Sabrina had a rebound. Less than three week after he'd left, she was going on a date—with Quincy of all people. A man who took allowances from his mother and cared more about material things than his values. He was entirely superficial and he thought Sabrina was good at detecting such things. But maybe he was wrong—maybe she wasn't the woman he thought she was.

He stopped himself. He was trying to deflect the situation from himself and that was something he knew wasn't right. Sabrina was exactly the woman he knew and wanted. It was him who had put himself here, and trying to make her seem like less than she was in order to make himself feel better about his choices would never work. She was probably confused and discontented. So if Quincy could help keep her mind occupied temporarily, he'd be okay with it. She deserved all the enjoyment she could obtain.

Although he wouldn't let Quincy come anything close to what he'd been for her.

*

"This is Keegan Sage, I have an appointment scheduled with Dr. Windsor in two weeks but I wanted to know if I could come in today instead." Keegan woke up wanting to be proactive. He'd spent the night at Bethany's mother's house instead of with his parents. At the time, he wasn't ready to explain his situation to them so he was going to wait a few more days to reveal his arrival. But after talking to Quincy, he was ready to come clean and move forward. The longer he decided to be a coward, the longer he'd spend in Florida. So instead of waiting to start his individual therapy sessions, he was going to get them over with this week.

"I think we might be able to get you in for at least an hour this afternoon." Dr. Windsor's assistant responded. Keegan wrote down the address and time before he ended the call. He sat his phone on the coffee table as Lisa approached behind him.

"I'm going to see Bethany." She announced as she collected her jacket and keys. Keegan could tell she wanted him to go too. But he had too many things to do, and he couldn't spend his day sitting with a silent, unresponsive Bethany. He was going to be efficient from that day forward.

*

"I can tell you went out with him." Sabrina had only answered her phone with a common greeting.

"What? How do you know that?" Sabrina nestled herself into her bed with her back against her headboard. A cup of hot chocolate sat in her hand while she used her shoulder to keep the phone to her ear. The mattress was layered in pillows and she frowned at them lightly. She'd found it more difficult to sleep at night while there was so much emptiness on the queen sized bed. So she added over 5 more pillows to ensure she slept well.

"I know you. Now tell me how everything went." Sabrina did a long, low groan into the phone before she took a breath.

"It was... fine." Rochelle made an angered noise before sucking her teeth.

"Are you ready for all my questions? Because you aren't satisfying me." Sabrina was aware of her response but Rochelle herself seemed different. She could hear the bitter quality in her tone and Sabrina knew something was going on.

"Talk to me Chelle—what's wrong?" Sabrina waited patiently on the other end for her best friend to respond. Rustling filled the receiver and Sabrina guessed she was going to a more private area.

"Hello?" She whispered.

"I'm here." Sabrina reassured her.

"Sorry, I had to go into the bathroom—but this is a nightmare." She paused. "It's everything I expected; they hate me, exclude me and ignore me. But I'm still bothered by it." She took a deep, audible breath. Sabrina knew she was about to break. So instead of Rochelle being strong for Sabrina, she'd use this rare moment to return her favors.

"I know you want them to love you and welcome you with open arms, but it probably isn't going to happen. They will never fully love you the way you expect them to, Rochelle. Just focus on the love that Yoel and Mena have for you because that will last forever."

"Oh Sabrina," Rochelle said through a clenched throat. "You're turning cold. That man has turned my buoyant, loving girl into a pessimist." The hair on the back of Sabrina's neck stood tall.

"No he didn't." She said quietly. "He turned me into someone who can see things for what they really are, instead of being 'a naive little black girl'." Sabrina chuckled faintly, remembering her mother's words.

"So now we're quoting your mom?" Rochelle asked incredulously.

"Why not? She was right all along so I think I should start giving credit because now, as I sit alone while trying to fall out of love without any sort of closure," She had to swallow the bulge pushing at the back of her throat "I believe that its due." Her voice had risen in intensity throughout the course of her sentence. But once it finished, she could feel her own pulse in her wrist.

"Bean," Rochelle almost pleaded. "Your mother was trying to control you. She didn't want you to be with Keegan because of her own reasons. It's okay that you're hurting. Yes, you did fall in love—that's okay. But you can't let this change you for the worse." Sabrina was quiet on the other line; she didn't have anything to say to her. Rochelle had no idea what she was going through so her opinion on the matter was inadequate to Sabrina's. She had a mother who accepted her for who she was, a husband committed to her and a baby as validation yet complained about a mother-in-law who lived hundreds of thousands of miles away.

"Tell me about the date." She changed the subject to rid them of the awkward break in conversation. Sabrina decided that it'd be best to drop the topic and move on to something else so she replied,

"It was okay. Not a fairytale kind of thing but it wasn't bad either."

"I want details from start to finish." Rochelle replied blandly. Sabrina rolled her eyes before she went into the description of her outfit and all the ungentlemanly things Quincy had done. She told her friend about his car and the place they ate down to the food they ordered.

"At least you get to ride around in his Audi." Rochelle sighed. "Even if he is a tool."

"Got, At least I got to ride around in his Audi." Sabrina clarified with her brows furrowed. "I'm not seeing him anymore. This was a onetime thing."

"Oh okay, so now you're going to go back to being miserable instead of having sex and being spoiled?" Sabrina moaned.

"You sound ridiculous." She ran a hand through her hairline. "I don't care about any of that—you know me."

"I know, Bean." Rochelle admitted, wishing she did care about it for just a little while.

*

"Mr. Sage," The receptionist called softly. Keegan perked up in his seat at the sound of his name. He'd been waiting for Dr. Windsor to finish up for the past 15 minutes. "He's ready now." Keegan stood and pulled down the hem of his shirt in the process.

He approached the door and knocked twice before entering. He was hit by a large amount of sunlight. The entire wall opposite of the door was lined with windows. There was a perfect view of the city on the other side of the class.

" Good afternoon Mr. Sage." Keegan looked around for the voice's source and soon found the therapist sitting at a desk nestled in the corner of the room. He had on dark slacks that held in his green button down. His silver grey hair was slicked back on his head and deep wrinkles lined his face. Keegan closed the door behind himself as he replied.

"Good afternoon." The doctor relocated himself to the armchair in the middle of the room. His dark brown brogues clacked quietly as he moved. That section of the room resembled a living room more than it did an office. He guessed it had something to do with the comfort levels, but Keegan found it kind of off-putting. Honestly, the entire atmosphere rubbed him the wrong way.

"You can take a seat if you want." Dr. Windsor offered while adjusting his glasses over his face. Keegan sat in the love seat beside him. The position of the chairs was quite awkward. They were paired beside one another, as if they would both be facing a TV. But only the wall of glass was in front of them. They couldn't even see each other.

"First," The doctor started in a smooth voice. "I want to say that everything said in this room is confidential. I won't even repeat it when Bethany begins her sessions. With that being said I need honesty and cooperation from you. I'm not here to judge or ridicule you. I'm here to help."

Keegan could now understand why the seating was arranged in this special way. Not seeing the doctor's face eliminated the uncomfortable intensity of his eyes. That was something that could hinder someone from being completely truthful. The feel of being alone encouraged more confession. It felt as if the doctor was merely a voice in his head—his conscious.

"I understand." Keegan replied, his eyes transfixed on a bird swooping over buildings across the street.

"How long have you been in Florida?"

"All my life until 7 months ago." The doctor could hear the discontent in his voice.

"So you moved?"

"Yeah," Keegan sighed. "Up to Maryland."

"What caused that?"

"I wanted to pursue my writing."

"So you left Florida to go to Maryland?" The doctor asked disbelievingly. Keegan was silent for a moment. He wouldn't explain his father's affect on the irrational decision. When Dr. Windsor realized that he wouldn't get an elaboration, he spoke again.

"I want you to start expressing your emotions through you writing. I know it may seem like there isn't any time to write or that you don't feel like it anymore—but just sit down and try to write out what you're going through. Incorporate different points of views with characters and emotions. Whatever you do, I want to read something every meeting. Deal?"

Keegan replied confidently, "Deal." A nonverbal way of getting through therapy seemed like the perfect loophole.

*

Would this tattoo always hurt her so much? The sight of the little butterfly on her wrist made her stomach churn intensely. She tried to enjoy the spontaneous moments of nostalgia that may surprise her while she did some normal task, but they always ended in tears. So as she lay in bed with her eyes set on her inked skin, she wore a smile but the piercing behind her lids was anticipated.

Her phone buzzed on the nightstand and she reached for it. She immediately recognized the unsaved number. While suppressing a sigh, she opened the text.

Movies @ 9

Was this a proposition or did he forget the question mark? Sabrina replied instinctively with her fingers tapping furiously against the screen.

Can't, really busy. Sorry

She knew it was kind of rude, but she had no interest in seeing Quincy again. Aside from her own emotional state, she didn't want to use him. It would only add to her sadness if she knew that she was trying to get over Keegan by seeing him. This would be the first of many declined offers, but sooner or later he'd get the picture.

*

Quincy tried not to do something drastic. He clenched and released his fingers before letting his head rest against the cool back of the couch. He closed his eyes and tried to think.

She rejected him. He was almost certain she was at home doing absolutely nothing, but she'd told him otherwise for the sake of solitude. Was sulking in bed better than spending an evening with him? He pulled up her number and allowed the selector to sit over it for a second as he contemplated giving her a call; she'd be more hesitant to deny him over the phone.

Give her time

He inhaled deeply before deciding to follow his conscious. He'd allow her this time to grieve over her breakup; the process would only help him in the end.

*

"And 'my love for her was something unexplainable yet entirely understood by all involved. But my loyalty to something else stood in the way.'" Dr. Windsor looked up from the printed computer paper to glance at Keegan's side profile from the armchair. After a day, Keegan managed to put off the story he'd been working on the past 6 months, and start his Dr.'s request. He had five pages done within hours and was astounded at how easily his own secret autobiography came to him. It was reliving to write down his emotions through the souls of fictional people. He could make them do things he wish he'd done, and somehow 'correct' his own mistakes. But one thing he'd managed to keep the same was his love for Sabrina and that was what Dr. Windsor found fascinating. "Although I may be wrong, but I don't think the first part is about Bethany..."

Keegan nodded instinctively. The doctor associating his feelings toward Sabrina with what he felt for Bethany made his skin crawl. He felt the need to clarify it immediately.

"It isn't." He left it at that, so the Doctor continued reading. He quoted another segment that piqued his interest. "'I fell into the pit of her character. I gave up my own principles to prevent jeopardizing her but that only sped up the process further. '... So far, we have a drug lord explaining his love for a woman? Or is it his career that is being described—I can't tell."