tagTranssexuals & CrossdressersChristian College Sex Comedy Ch. 03

Christian College Sex Comedy Ch. 03

byFinalStand©

*Birds are made beautiful by their plumage but divine by their flight*

(Once more, thank you frontma for editing)

(Yes, this tale is supposed to be somewhat humorous and outrageous too. While not always comedic I'd like to think it is mostly a good-natured romp.)


Sharing Umbrellas

Tuesday: My schedule which the Chancellor had been set in stone, had me in sole custody of the fifth-floor bathroom from five forty-five until six, so I was grateful that only six girls were waiting for me when I arrived. At some level I was sure they expected me to say something and I was pretty sure they hadn't really articulated what they wanted. I said nothing and edged past them.

The bravest one, Opal, followed quickly after me, though I had that special moment of taking off my robe in front of her as I readied for my shower. Somehow the blood of Homer's Amazons had entered this school's student body because Opal met my bluff with her buff (body) and crawled under her own water stream once the water was steamy.

As I started washing my hair, I caught sight of another girl moving in on my far side. I did my best to remain nonchalant and managed to get my hair clean before they made their move.

"Zane," Opal asked innocently, "would you wash my back?" I smiled, nodded, and took the bottle of liquid soap from her hands.

I poured some into my palms before placing the bottle on the closest shelf. I started rubbing it onto her shoulders and down her back. The placement of our bodies was complicated by my emergent erection. I worked my way down her back until I touched, then parted and cupped, her ass. I pressed my body against her back with my penis taking a few moments decide on whether it would go up, in, or in between. Finally it slipped up until my cock rested warmly on her back.

Opal was totally overtaken by events and simply stood there as I slowly rubbed my body up and down against her back. She looked over her shoulder speculatively as I reached past her for more liquid soap and poured some into my hand. Bottle put aside, I shared the soap with the off-hand before starting to rub down the front of her shoulders.

"Put your hands behind your back," I whispered into Opal's ear. She was initially hesitant, then started putting them behind her back where she brushed against my cock, and again before she wrapped her hands around it and began slowly stroking it with a soapy grip. While she was working on my morning wood I made slow circles down to her breasts.

Her nipples came alive under my fingertips. I first coaxed them, then plucked them, and finally pinched them tightly as I handled the rest of her breasts roughly. Opal began panting, moaning, and undulating her whole body against mine. I couldn't stop myself from kissing her on the crux of her jaw and neck.

"Ooohhh...Ooohhh...Ooohhh..." Opal began to gasp. I felt her body start to tremble under my touch so I hunted for that most sensitive place with my tongue and bit into that spot on her neck sharply. Opal slammed hard into me, bouncing up and down on her toes like some sudsy, hot vibrator against my penis...if only I had the time.

"Aaahhh..." she sobbed in joy. Even after the orgasm settled, Opal kept gyrating against me.

"This wasn't what I had in mind," Opal moaned. Whoops!

"My apology," I told her, and started separating from her, but she held firm.

"Oh, no, you don't. Maybe you misunderstood me. This was more...much more than I expected. I'm glad you are superior to your hype. Can we do this tomorrow morning?"

"Hmmm...how about we see what comes up then?" I evaded. As I backed away, the girl on the other side held out her soap bottle expectantly. "Sorry, but I need to get out of here before girls...other girls show up," I explained to her.

"Brigit; my name is Brigit," she filled me in. "Can we do...that...tomorrow?" By 'that,' I assume she meant my version of the soapy body rub.

"Okay," I said, "how about calling Iona and figuring out how you ladies want to handle my shower visits...though I would like to point out the Administration believes I'm in here alone."

"Do you want us to stay away?" Opal asked cautiously.

"Opal, Brigit, I would rather go through life minus one testicle than miss spending time with any of you ladies but I don't want anyone unwittingly getting into trouble because of me," I answered.

"Since you need to be going," Opal teased, "let me help."

"I'll help too," Brigit insisted.

I'm going to be a while deciding exactly how I rate being shaved by one girl while getting a blowjob from another at the same time.

My facial expression caused Rio to laugh at me as I came back down to answer the door. It was around six thirty and I had only recently gotten back and put my school uniform on.

"Either you've been hit by the world's softest two by four or you've already had sex at least once this morning," she chuckled.

"Hey, Rio, Iona – come on in. It isn't like I could stop you," I joked.

"So, did you take her temperature, kick up her heels, or give her an attitude adjustment?" Rio teased as we headed up. Iona looked confused and expected me to be either equally confused or give her an explanation. I was confused, which made Rio laugh louder.

"Taking her temperature equals blowjob; kicking up the heels is straight-up fucking, and attitude adjustment is anal sex...jeesh, people," Rio berated us. Once we came to my island of civilization in the wilderness of the Solarium, Iona looked around curiously; this may have been the first men's bedroom she'd ever seen. Rio walked over to my bed, was about to plop down in it, then studied it for a second and gawked at me.

"Damn, Zane, what happened last night? How many girls did you have up here?" she grinned maniacally. I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"One," I admitted. "How did you know?"

"Peach lip gloss and teeth marks on the pillow...several sets, so, You Go Boy!" she explained.

"Plus, your bed smells of Vaseline, baby oil, sweat, Secret deodorant, and a good deal of fuck juice – the female variety. Then there is the matter of..." she drew forth a long blonde hair..."you not being blonde."

"This was not on the list!" squawked Iona. "Lip gloss...teeth marks?"

"That means he fucked her ass long and hard, Iona," Rio explained to her far less experienced classmate, "and she came back for more...and more."

Iona stole a look my way, hoping I'd deny everything, but I made eye contact with her and nodded. She looked disappointed in me, which oddly made me feel bad inside.

"Snap out of it, Iona," Rio snorted. Iona still looked hurt. "What is more likely, Zane went trolling the lower levels for a girl to sex up, or a girl snuck up here and jumped him in his bed?"

"Oh," Iona gasped, now more pleased. Apparently, me being nearly raped in my own bed was okay with her. From my point of view, I can try to understand women or I can appreciate them for what they willingly offer me. If a woman wants me to treat her like a Sphinx, I'll leap at the challenge. One day I'm sure I'll find a woman not worth this kind of effort but I'm not there yet.

I had finished getting dressed and was making toward the stairs when the door at the bottom opened and Barbie Lynn came bounding up. She took in my two companions without missing her stride before bouncing up to me.

"Hey, Zane," she purred. "I wanted to make sure you hadn't overslept."

"Thanks, I appreciate the concern, but I slept great last night. Waking up feeling that good is always a pleasure. How did you sleep?" I responded.

"I tossed and turned," she pouted. "I was missing something I couldn't put my hands on. If I can't figure out what that is I'll be up pacing the halls well past midnight tonight."

Rio stepped behind Barbie and made a gagging motion.

"So, Barbie Lynn," Rio requested, "do you have any lip gloss I could use?" Barbie turned around and pulled a micro-jar that she handed to Rio.

"Mmmm...peach flavored," Rio revealed vindictively. At some point I am sure Rio will show restraint; my challenge now is living long enough to see it.

Rio spanked Barbie Lynn hard on the ass and the Dorm Mother yelped in surprise and pain.

"Ow," gasped Barbie Lynn, glaring at Rio. I moved an arm around Barbie and pulled her close, a gesture she comfortably molded into.

"I'm sorry," Rio snickered, "but you have such a wonderful posterior BLT, I know it is a sin if no one appreciates it."

"BLT?" I cautioned Rio, and by that I intoned that the next spanking was likely going to be administered to her by me.

"Barbie Lynn Tease," Rio grinned, daring me to step up. As I handed my book bag to Iona, Rio squealed in delight and raced down the stairs. I was right behind her and I would have undoubtedly caught and punished her on the fifth floor if not for one thing.

"Zane, I'm here for your breakfast duty," a sophomore I was to learn was named Emanuela commanded – Handmaiden's Duty. Technically she should wait until I was outside, but...eh. They nailed Rio seconds before she could turn and gloat at me.

"Front or back?" I politely requested of Emanuela, who was thankfully on my schedule.

"Front or back?" she wondered.

"Do you want me to carry you like this?" I asked, as I swept her up in my arms. She was light enough, including book bag, for me to make it to the Dining Hall without too much effort.

"What is back?" she gasped.

"Piggyback," I explained.

"Oh. I like this way much better," she informed me. I started making my way through the crowd when I caught sight of Barbie Lynn and Iona coming down the stairs. Seeing my situation, Barbie put an arm around Iona and whispered something to her. Iona was already carrying my books and I had the feeling that Barbie knew I liked Iona so she was going to look after the small freshman for me.

Breakfast came and went and I found myself cornered and 'forced' to escort another girl to Assembly. She asked me if I'd prefer being covered with whipped cream or honey. I reminded her that whipped cream was cold but honey left a sticky residue – I suggested trying icing. At Assembly, the heavens broke and a hard rain set in as we got ready to disperse.

The problem came when it was realized that many girls hadn't packed an umbrella. The answer for most was to take an umbrella from a freshman, which I found unsatisfactory. I had a sudden burst of insight as the first freshmen girls paled at the thought of being soaked through to the bone. I grabbed Iona and then made a beeline for Christina.

None of what followed would have been possible without the understanding of a girl I didn't know, Pandora Jaspers. Her plan was for me to take my umbrella and cover us both as we went to class, but when I told her 'I have a plan,' she nodded and went along for the ride. Certainly we were a strange group that approached Christina Buchanan.

"Yes?" questioned Christina with her bemused expression as I came to a halt before her and her court. Chastity smiled, Heaven seethed, Faith looked uncertain, and the fifth girl was a cipher.

"I think I can do something about this rain," I said urgently. Christina didn't laugh but I had a feeling Pandora wanted to strangle me.

"Go on," Christina commanded.

"We make a covered walkway of umbrellas, held by freshmen, to protect everyone going to the various halls," I explained. Iona didn't need to be prodded, working on phone to figure out the diameter of each umbrella and the length of each walkway. She'd be the final arbiter of 'it could be done' in the same way Christina was the mistress of 'it will be done.'

Christina hardly missed a beat.

"Faith, you and..." she looked to Pandora.

"Pandora," the sophomore provided eagerly.

"...Pandora go to the East door and get the plan rolling. Heaven and Hope, take the West door. Zane, you, Chastity, and Iona are going with me to the South."

In the back of my mind was the fact that I had to humble Christina. Had she been overly arrogant, stupid, or indecisive, I might have worried less, but I took comfort in the saying that a man is known by the quality of his enemies. You couldn't get much higher quality than Christina.

I almost missed the "Hey Zane" the fifth and highly captivatingly and exotic girl of Korean ancestry said to me as she headed off with Heaven.

"That is Hope," Chastity explained, as we headed the other way.

"She seems friendly enough. Does she like me?" I said, fishing for information.

"If you mean does she want to punish you for challenging Christina then the answer is yes. If you mean is she angling for a way to relive everything you did with Barbie Lynn last night, then the answer to that is yes as well," Chastity grinned. "If you are asking if she is even more turned on by this latest little stunt of yours, then I think she shares that reaction with the rest of Christina's merry little band."

"Amen," Iona mumbled.

"What was that?" I asked Iona.

"Nothing, Zane. I've run the figures and we are only going to be able to cover one path out of each door," Iona responded by redirecting the conversation.

"Chastity, call Hope and tell her she'll open a path to Mesmer first, then Clegger. I'll call Faith," Christina directed. At this point, as freshmen, Iona and I pretty much had zero pull so we served best by staying out of the way. Once the orders began disseminating, I realized my part in events was over so I stashed Iona's mildly protesting form behind Christina and took my place in the freshman umbrella line; Iona was working her ass off for me, the least I could do was keep her high and dry.

We were somewhat wet and late for class but the freshmen class had done something as a group, giving us the vaguest sense of an identity. While getting lunch, Iona stormed up to me and nearly wept over the fact that I was getting almost no credit for the morning's event; it was all going to Christina. I told her to not worry about it, I did it for my fellow first years so what did I care.

I managed to get a quick lunch before applying a shoulder/back massage to a sophomore who'd traded three hours using her car for this, so I tried to make it worth her while. While slipping her out of her bra at the table was tricky, holding a conversation with Ms. Goodswell while kneading both my client's breasts until the girl was biting her fist, stifling her moans, and squirming all over the chair in anticipation of what couldn't happen next was the real accomplishment.

I was pretty sure I was golden until I stepped out of Calculus for Dummies and received Ms. Goodswell's text telling me to come to her office. I gave my Mistress of the Moment the option of coming with me or figure out with Iona when we could meet again. It was a testament to my obscure magnetism that she followed me so we passed the time with me reciting Thai love poetry to her, some of which was actually safe to translate into English.

"Ms. Goodswell?" I said as I lightly tapped on her door and stepped in. Sabrina, my Mistress, patiently waited outside. She had told me that no guy had ever read poetry to her before, which I found utterly tragic.

"Shut the door, Zane," Virginia ordered me in her sugary Southern drawl.

"What am I going to do with you?" she sighed heavily when the door shut. "All we wanted you to do is behave and keep your head down. Stapling a permanent smile to your Dorm Mother's face and organizing the freshmen into an independent action was not what we meant."

"To the first point...I have no excuse but she's still a virgin, I swear. I won't apologize for the second thing. Besides, anyone you ask will tell you it was Christina's idea," I countered.

"Zane, do I need to worry about you further deflowering my girls?" Ms. Goodswell sounded exasperated.

"Yes," I truthfully responded. "I am definitely temptation, but I promise you I won't try to seduce anyone, if that helps?"

"It pleases the Lord for our young ladies to remain pure," Virginia stated. "It is one of the cornerstone principles of this school."

"If you say so," I sighed.

"You don't believe in the purity of the body and the sanctity of the marriage bed?" she pressed.

"Ms. Goodswell, I'll vocalize the party line if that is what makes you happy. If you honestly want me to believe, give me a reason that goes beyond something some old, bitter, single, virgin guys said two thousand years ago. Otherwise, bring back animal sacrifice and slavery because the hypocrisy can be smothering," I informed her. I figured she was about to blow up at me.

"Okay," Virginia breathed easily.

"Okay?" I wondered.

"You are easy on the eyes, Zane, and the girls like you. Tell me, how many girls could you have made violate their Pledges?" she drew me out.

"Four in the past twenty-four hours," I admitted.

"Yet you didn't. Why is that?" she kept coming.

"It is a big deal here and I wouldn't want to screw up the way they think unless they are the ones wanting to change," I finally articulated, which made Ms. Goodswell smile.

"You can go, Zane. I'll keep tabs on you so be careful," she dismissed me and turned back to the work on her desk.

"That's it?" I inquired. My spiritual advisor nodded without looking up, leaving me even more confused. I retreated in haste and thanked the Almighty that I was about to be shooting guns at something.

Marksmanship Team tryouts reintroduced me to Team Captain Hope Song. She totally ignored me through most of the process. I forgot the safety, missed everything I shot at, and repeatedly let the recoil beat the crap out of my shoulder, at which point I figured I'd put forward an honest effort and blown it. I could live with that.

On the last round of the event I patiently waited my turn. The girl closest to me (who was doing rather well) informed me that I was getting better. I told her this was my first time shooting a gun and she chuckled; she'd been hunting since she was nine. I knelt down for that final shot when I felt a warm body envelop me from behind.

"Breathe easy," Hope whispered into my ear. "Imagine you running your hands over Barbie Lynn's breasts...light touch...that's good...take the time and be gentle the way she brags you can be...good...now touch the nipple like you love it...feel the nipple get harder and longer...yes, feel your heart beating louder..." she kissed my earlobe "...feel that nipple at the sweet spot...when you are ready for the orgasm, twist that nipple..." BAM!

Bull's eye! Hope remained intimately close.

"How was that for foreplay?" she whispered seductively.

"Makes me want to get a bigger gun with a lot more bullets," I replied. Hope scoffed lightly in my ear.

"From what I hear, you don't need a bigger gun. Stand up; I have work to do," she informed me.

I stood up and surreptitiously looked around, only to find that no one – no one at all – was looking at us. For some reason the dirt, trees, and birds up in the sky had developed keen religious significance. I thought they were being polite until I recalled one student telling another that Hope regularly drilled kill shots at five hundred meters.

Hope went around to some of the other applicants, helping them with their final shots, but not in the same way she helped me. At the end of tryouts we had ten shooters and ten spotters – I was a spotter. Spotters do a lot of things, mainly going over terrain and atmospheric conditions for their paired shooter. We also carry most of the gear (everyone carries their own rifle).

"Do you understand what is required of you, Zane?" Hope made a point of asking me.

"One hundred years ago you were the Great White Hunter (being Korean and all) and I was the bare-chested native guide giving advice while carrying a townhouse worth of gear on my back," I joked.

"You forgot the loincloth...the native guide always has a loincloth," Hope purred like a panther toying with her next meal. "We already know you have a finely muscled body capable of great...effort; now can I expect some of that effort here on the team this year?"

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