Christian College Sex Comedy Ch. 03

"Absolutely," I affirmed. "I'll do what you tell me to do."

"That's good, because you are my partner this year. Watch my ass, don't fuck up, and show initiative," she instructed me. In my mind I had three contradictory orders; was I supposed to watch her ass, or not fuck her, or was I supposed to come on to her? It was cold comfort that if I did screw up somehow, she could put a bullet through my left eye from anywhere on campus, killing me painlessly.

"You were on one of the opposite roofs last night," I blurted out. Hope looked demurely to the ground but flashed me a wink. "That is how you know what I look like naked."

"I have no idea what you are talking about," she said putting away one of those telescopic sighting devices a spotter would use. Nothing more was said on the subject.

The Riddle of Heaven

A feeling of accomplishment – nay, a feeling that I might actually be fitting in – ran right into Heaven, Team Captain of the Orienteering Squad. I wasn't afraid she would toss me off the team for merely existing. Hell, I was afraid I'd automatically get on the team despite my lack of skill; after all, how else could Heaven lure me out and murder me in the State Forest bordering the campus if I wasn't on the team?

The first half of the entrance process found us in a classroom doing math; figuring out angles and areas. We also had to study some Solar and lunar charts so we could figure out the position of the Sun given the day and time, as well as what phase the Moon was in and what it would be like in, say, one hundred days. I rocked at that which gave me a leg up going into round two.

I knew precisely what a map and compass were. I'd used a few maps, and I'd never actually held a compass before but I'd seen all the Pirates of the Caribbean movies so I knew how compasses worked – NOT! I wasn't alone in this way of thinking. Several girls giggled over the fact. One laughingly pulled up the app on her phone.

"That's great. Can I see it?" Heaven said, deceptively cool. The idiot girl handed it over with a smile. Heaven grinned, then hurled it against a large boulder close by, smashing it into a thousand pieces. She went over to it and stomped on the remains for a few seconds while the younger student gasped, then wept.

"Okay," Heaven said soothingly, "your phone is now destroyed. How do you survive long enough to get back to civilization?" We all developed a case of the 'smarts' and kept our mouths shut.

"Really...no one?" Heaven taunted us.

"You go downhill," I spoke up. Heaven glared, not at my answer but at the fact that I spoke at all.

"Why is that, Mr. Braxton?" she asked in a hostile manner.

"Water...you go downhill to find a source of water. Nothing else matters if you die of thirst," I explained.

"Would any one of you follow this idiot downhill?" Heaven sneered.

One girl immediately raised her hand while the rest looked around nervously. Right before Heaven spoke again, a second girl raised her hand.

"Well," scoffed Heaven, "most of you will probably die because, while being an utter failure at the rest of his life, Zane guessed this one correctly."

"Your priorities are water, food, and shelter. Where you find moving water, you will most likely find something to eat too. You will also find small trees that are the easiest things to use for shelter. Unless rescue or egress is expected quickly, you must find a means of survival." Then as an afterthought she addressed me,

"Zane, you get a cookie," and she tossed me a ginger cookie which I hesitantly bit in to. The class went on like this for ten minutes before she teamed us up for a little treasure hunt in the woods. I was teamed up with Heaven, making me wonder if they'd find my body after the deed was done. A few false starts later I began to get a feel for this orienteering stuff; if I headed one way and Heaven secretly smiled, I was going the wrong direction, and if she scowled, I was going the right way.

We were the second team to complete the task on top of a large rock outcropping some distance into the state park. Heaven dismissed the others but put a hand on my chest when I made to leave. Once the sound of the rest moving through the underbrush died down she turned to me, clearly pissed. Her fist balled up and she shook slightly as if she was barely able to contain the rage she directed my way.

I had three options: flee, confront, or submit. I sat down on the floor of the forest and waited. I could tell my reduction in stature confused her Why do you think most Buddhist monks prefer to conduct their business while in the lotus position?

"Can you tell me why you hate me?" I inquired softly.

Heaven stormed up to me and I was afraid she was going to boot me down the cliff. I don't think either of us knew why she stopped just short of me.

"You don't belong here," she choked out. "You are perverse and filthy. You are going to ruin everything."

"I'm not your enemy, Heaven. I'm not going to take any of your friends away from you. If I get in your way, let me know and I'll back off. The one thing I can't do is leave," I explained. Heaven kicked me in the thigh, then kicked me again, so I scrambled up and faced her. She wanted to do this the hard way.

Heaven came up right as soon as my feet were planted on the ground. I got in a block, another block, then I grabbed her wrist and put a leg behind hers. She toppled backwards while I rolled us into a side impact which allowed me to grab her other wrist as well. Heaven proved to be surprisingly strong as she thrashed about but she couldn't stop me from getting on top of her.

For a moment we lay still but I was getting aroused and Heaven could sense it. I saw a look of near-terror come across her face before she went berserk beneath me. I struggled to keep on top until she finally wore herself down.

"Would you just fucking talk to me!" I yelled at her. Heaven slowly ceased her efforts.

"Get off of me," she whispered intently. I rolled us over so that she was on top and released her wrists. Heaven quickly brought her knees up, straddling me with her palms on my chest. She was more than halfway off of me when she stopped and seemed to see me for the first time. I started pulling myself from under her when Heaven settled back down onto my stomach.

"Hey, I'm sorry we fought, Hea..." I got out before she French kissed me. Heaven's whole body pressed into me. I settled down and began working my hands over her waist and hips. When I went for her ass, Heaven arched her back pressing her tits against my chest so that she could grab my hands in hers and pull them back to her waist.

"Hands above the hips," she panted lustfully to me between kisses.

"Fine, but show me your tits," I said. Not wasting a moment, Heaven scooted up so that she was sitting on my stomach once more and together we pulled her shirt free and unbuttoned it. I slipped my hand up around the bra and pushed it above her breasts before pressing her delicious orbs down to me to suckle on.

It took me a few minutes to find out she had an arousal zone on her lower back that tingled with electricity whenever I caressed it. I had to coax Heaven into getting on all fours but when I pressed my lips there, her stiffness evaporated and she was putty in my hands. I was kneeling beside her with one hand stroking her far side while my closer hand alternated between each breast.

When Heaven's breathing became more erratic and desperate she bolted upright on her knees, slipping one leg backward between mine and pressing her ass into my pelvis. I now cupped both tits, gently rubbing each nipple as I began nibbling her shoulder. I was still getting into it when Heaven suddenly spasms against me, then she repeats the process four more times before she trembled uncontrollably in my embrace.

"Ssshhh..." I reassured her. "I've got you. You are safe here with me."

"I...we...I...we need to be getting back," she stammered. I got the feeling that she wanted to pretend this whole thing hadn't happened. I rolled up, then Heaven fixed her bra while I handed Heaven's shirt to her.

We exchanged no further words until we were almost back to the campus wall when I turned to make sure she was okay. She was a little out of it but that wasn't my problem; this other thing was.

"Heaven, hold on," I told her. She looked contemplative and suspicious but did so.

"You are...mmm...jeesh, stay still; I'll take care of this," I worked out.

"What?" she asked cautiously.

"You have cum dripping down your legs, Heaven," I informed her. Heaven's eyes grew large and she took a half-step back but at the same moment she realized with utterly hopelessness that she had virtually no other choice.

"What are you going to do?" she whispered. I had to think that one over for a second. I handed her my orienteering gear and took off my shirt, which didn't make Heaven any more comfortable.

I knelt before her and used my shirt to wipe up the strands of semen going down the inside of each thigh. It was soon evident to me that she'd cum extensively and I had to work my way up under her skirt or more cum would simply drip down. For reasons I still don't understand, Heaven ceased resisting. Maybe she was tired of the whole charade.

The first pair of underwear came down, then the second, and I cleaned them both with my now ruined shirt. I even went so far as to wipe her ass-crack where some had been forced up. Once I was satisfied that Heaven's underwear was as passable as I could manage, I 'fixed' her in place and dressed her again without comment. The really sucky part was that I had to put my sticky, cum-splattered shirt back on. There was no way I could explain going bare-chested.

Neither one of us spoke as we walked back, put our stuff up, and parted ways. It wasn't that I thought the matter would go away but I realized that my most pressing concern was doing what my school required. I was happy that I could sneak away before dinner and get a fresh shirt.

A Taste of Brandi

"What is my duty today, Brandi Sanders?" I started to say with a warm smile on my face. Brandi turned out to be a girl with thin, deep brown hair hanging loose, freckles, and a slender face. Her body was lithe, nothing out of proportion, though it turned out her ass was a prize; compact but with an enticing ability to project beyond the back and thighs.

"I need you to help change the lights in my room," she grinned. I had to reciprocate that look because I liked her creativity. I made a move for her chair then stopped myself.

"That chair doesn't look safe," I mused. "I imagine I'll have to lift you up to each bulb." I leaned right, then left, taking in her gentle womanly curves which earned a salacious smile.

"I think it would be more efficient for me to lift you by the front. Is that okay?" I asked softly, even somewhat hesitantly. Brandi nodded eagerly so I placed me in front of her, bent way down until my head was facing her covered belly button, and then I had snaked my arms around the top of her thighs.

I made a half-attempt to lift her, then set her down.

"Huh?" she gasped, "What's wrong?"

"Brandi, some of your buttons are pressing into my face. Can I move them aside?"

"Oh...okay," then, "if you have to," Brandi protested falsely.

I used some slow seduction in pulling her shirt out of her skirt, doing my best to ignore our growing audience of young ladies. I opened the lowest button to see the top of the skirt behind it, but the next one was much more rewarding. Her soft stomach flesh felt warm beneath my lips and her intake of breath was its own reward.

I didn't stop there, though. Buttons opened and kisses were given until I reached the bra, then I licked my way down to her belly button, which I sucked and licked for fifteen seconds. By this time, Brandi was breathing deeply and pressing her stomach against my lips. I reached up to massage her pert, firm ass with my hands while working on her belly button with my tongue.

When I lifted her up by grabbing her thighs, she gasped slightly. She hovered next to the ceiling light for several seconds before realizing she didn't have a bulb.

"Zane..." she started to say, but I was already starting to sweep her down into a horizontal position, stomach down, with her hands in easy reach of the box of light bulbs.

"Wow, thanks, Zane," she giggled. She took one bulb, despite there being four fixtures we need to change the bulbs in. I didn't mind; after all, every time I swung her down, I flipped her skirt artfully out of the way, and her panty-covered ass was laid out before me at chest level. I missed the first opportunity but I kissed a cheek on the second drop and took a nibble on the third and fourth drop, each time earning a low moan.

During the periods when I was holding her upright, I took sadistic pleasure in sucking on her stomach, giving her two hickies as proof of our amorous encounter.

"Thank you, Glenda," she murmured into my chest as I let her down that last time, using my 'enrolled' name.

"I hope I have pleased you but I sadly have to be going," I sighed, "I have a foot massage upstairs with Easter Valentine." Brandi looked at me petulantly, then pushed past me to the door and Iona, who stood just outside in the hall.

"Iona, when is he free again?" she demanded to know.

"Sorry, Brandi, I can only book him one week in advance. I don't know what his study workload will be like or what things his team captains will require," Iona grinned, somewhat emboldened with her newfound power and popularity.

"Brandi," I said, because I must be the Devil, "I couldn't help but notice how silky smooth and toned your legs are. Maybe in a few days they might be a tiny bit less so. You could demand that I shave your legs for you."

"Have you ever done this before?" she mused over the implications.

"No, I haven't," I confessed, "but you could teach me no matter how long that took." Brandi spun on Iona and grabbed her by the shoulders.

"You have to let me know when a slot opens up!" was Brandi's impassioned plea. Iona agreed nervously. When we finally got out of Brandi's room and headed off to my next stop, Iona bumped into me.

"You are evil," she whispered like some secret conspirator, "and I've never wanted to be a year older in all my life." One year older, she could demand Handmaiden duties from me as well, but then it would be far less likely that we would be united as we are now.

"Iona, you are proving to be a true friend," I stated. "With you, it wouldn't be a duty." Iona stumbled because clearly that idea hadn't occurred to her.

In Case it was Unclear

The only thing that surprised me when I came up to my room, naked except for my gym shorts, fresh from my evening bathroom visit, was the look of shame on Barbie Lynn's face when I saw the rest of them.

"Hello, Ladies. Before you lay into me, let me have a moment with Barbie Lynn," I requested.

"Barbie Lynn is leaving now," Christina countered. I shrugged and walked back downstairs.

"Come back here," Christina commanded me.

"Nope," I shot back as I reached for the door.

"Zane, where are you going?" Chastity inquired politely.

"The Chancellor's house," I answered. "Apparently I have some stuck up bitches in my room past curfew, plus Barbie Lynn." I opened the door.

"Please come back and talk to us," Chastity requested. I was a bit angry but Chastity made a habit of being nice to me so...I went back upstairs.

"Barbie Lynn, why don't you have a quick chat with Zane on your way out," Queen Christina allowed. Barbie shot Christina a worried look, then shuffled over to where I was standing.

"Zane..." Barbie started to say but I put a finger to her lips.

"It's all good. I was hoping that after this is resolved you will want to come back tonight. Is that going to happen?" I revealed my desire for her. Barbie hugged me tightly then kissed me on the cheek before skipping down the stairs. I had the strange impression she thought I might have been angry with her.

"We need to talk about what happened this afternoon," Christina began once Barbie had shut the door downstairs.

"No, we don't," I responded, and headed for my bed; since I don't yet have walls, it is tough calling it a room.

"I don't think you appreciate how important this issue is to me," Christina stated heatedly.

"Actually, I don't care how important this is to you, Christina. This is between Heaven and me," I retorted.

"You are going to satisfy my concerns or I will guarantee that you will be gone by the end of the week," she snarled.

That was enough for me; I spun around and got right in her face.

"Do you remember when I said you could apologize to Rio or I'd make you do it and you would regret me having to force you?" I snapped right back. Christina glared defiance at me. "Well, this has nothing to do with that. I'll get you without fucking anyone else over and because you would even think I'd do that to Heaven, I'm going to make sure you cry too."

"What?" Christina, Chastity, and Heaven said all at once.

"I'm going to nail Christina's ass to the wall, Heaven, but I'm not going to abuse the trust you put in me. What kind of fucker do you all think I am?" I asked bitterly.

"How can we trust you?" Christina demanded. I rolled my eyes and walked over to Heaven, taking her by the hand which confused the hell out of her.

"Heaven, come with me," I requested. I dragged her toward my bed but she resisted.

"What are you doing?" she inquired desperately.

"Heaven, I'm a guy dragging a girl to my bedroom. If your first guess is Parcheesi, there is something seriously wrong with you."

"It is...you know...how can you...I can't," Heaven evaded.

"Don't worry about someone spying on us; Hope is here with us tonight," I grinned.

"Zane, this isn't a good idea," Heaven pleaded.

"Zane, let her go," Christina told me as she stepped to Heaven's side, and by the body language I was clearly not getting in the front door.

"Heaven, if I hurt you, what are the odds of my taking an impromptu flying lesson through one of these panes of glass?" I joked dryly. Chastity and Hope exchanged a look.

"I think we can make the fountain from the Southeast corner," Hope assured us both.

"This is not a joking matter," Christina snapped at the two of us. I'd rarely seen someone so ferociously defensive of a non-relative.

"I wasn't joking," I said.

"I wasn't joking," Hope said at the same time.

Christina was about to drag Heaven out of the equation; time for the Hail Mary.

"Heaven, do you want to have sex with me again?" I hammered away.

"Again," gasped Faith, silent until now. "You can't have sex with Heaven; she's..."

Now it was all but out in the open.

"Anyone who thinks that is fucking nuts," I shouted as I grabbed Heaven's hand away from Christina and took her to my bed.

I swung Heaven onto the bed so fast she bounced. Before she could organize herself, I was on top of her. I had one leg between hers but she slammed them together so hard it hurt. I landed over her, our faces inches apart. My eyes kept boring into her until her lips opened and a small moan escaped. I knew I fell on her first but her hands were all over me so fast that I could hardly be seen as molesting her.

Peripherally aware that we had an audience, Heaven and I pressed, pulled, and aroused one another for several minutes. We had her top and bra off and her legs pulled up so far, her knees were just below my armpits.

"You go, girl," I heard Chastity playfully whisper when Heaven rolled me over so that she was on top. She didn't break up her actions but I could see Heaven smiling for the first time.

"I don't get it," Faith whispered to someone. "Does this mean Heaven likes guys, and if she does, does that mean she's...you know..."

"Homosexual?" Hope clarified.