Christian College Sex Comedy Ch. 05

"Yes, absolutely; I want to have sex with you. Heaven, you are a terribly attractive woman and what is wrong with wanting to make love to you?" I countered.

That brought her up short as she looked deeply into my eyes.

"Zane, I'm not a woman; I'm a guy," Heaven whispered.

"Did we just make love?" I reposed. I could see her struggle with that and then I knew; she'd been fucked and used like some -- piece of meat but a man had never made love to her until now.

"Yes, Zane, yes, we did," she said softly. "We made love."

"Good, because I'd like to do it again. Can I expect to see you once a month?" I requested.

"Once a month," Heaven told me with a sweet smile on her face, "I'm far hungrier than that."

"We may have to work something out with Barbie Lynn," I pointed out.

"Barbie Lynn can kiss my ass," Heaven declared, and to emphasize her point, she grabbed my cock through my pants, saying "Mine!" with a shark-like snarl.

"Weren't you kicking my ribs in three days ago?" I reminded her.

"Oh, don't be a wimp," she snapped, but like lightning flashing across the horizon, she changed tack. "I promise I'll make it up to you," she moaned as she rubbed her body against me.

"I'd like for you to make it up to Rio too," I hinted.

"Hell, no!" Heaven growled. "There is no way I'm going to fuck Rio."

"Damn right; if Rio knew she was going to have sex with you, she'd go out and buy the biggest strap-on possible and you wouldn't walk straight for a week," I nodded.

"You would like to see that, wouldn't you?" she suspiciously accused me.

"No. That would hurt like a bitch and I don't want to walk funny for a week," I replied straight-faced. For a millisecond Heaven got angry, then she let it bleed away and laughed instead. Maybe Rio taking my ass with a dildo was something Heaven found amusing.

"Fine, Joker. Let's get back to the party before Christina realizes I'm missing," Heaven told me.

"Turn around," I asked her. Heaven glared at me then rolled her eyes in mock disgust, turned around, and thrust her ass back. I leaned down and bit each cheek once more. I was rewarded with another sharp intake of breath by Heaven which she attempted to hide.

"Can't get enough?" she purred while looking at me over her shoulder and smiling.

Heaven was clearly enjoying herself, which was kind of neat, but I didn't want her getting too cocky. I stood and spanked her hard on the ass causing her to jump.

"Ow!" she got out before I took her jaw in hand and kissed her. Our tongues wrestled and entwined deeply before we separated and made for the door.

We stepped out to mild applause from a gathering of eavesdroppers before making it to the stairs. Out of the blue, Heaven reached out and interlaced her fingers in mine as if it was the most normal thing in the world. As we walked into the kitchen Hope detached herself from some guy who was busier staring at the cleavage of her strapless white dress than actual conversation.

"Where have you guys...oh, my God," she giggled as she looked into Heaven's blushing face. "Shit, Zane, how many girls do you plan to nail tonight?"

"It's not like I have some Grand Plan, Hope," I shrugged helplessly.

"When is my turn?" Hope joked as the guy she'd been talking to came up. Heaven gripped my arm tighter but I had the feeling that had more to do with Hope's comment.

"October twenty-second at eight-thirty," I tossed back to her. Hope smiled at us before pulling Heaven to her. "Let Zane go for a while," she told Heaven softly. "We know where he lives ... and where he sleeps." Together, the two ladies turned to face the 'guy', allowing me to head out in search of Iona.

Oh, So This is How I Got Here

I found Iona corned by some dark-haired stocky man against the bar. Iona had 'victim' written all over her face and he was coming across as a pit bull with the scent of blood.

"Zane!" Iona squeaked as she forced herself past him and into my arms.

"Hey, Babe," I responded with real affection, stroking her hair gently for emphasis.

"I told you my boyfriend was coming for me," Iona told the AKA man scowling at me. He skulked off for greener pastures and Iona wrapped her arms around my waist. "I prayed you'd come back for me. You left me and I couldn't find you," she pleaded.

"Iona, why didn't you simply text me using '911'?" I questioned her. "I'd have come running." Iona, our tech-genius, blushed in embarrassment at my simple suggestion to her dilemma.

"Oh...yeah, I could have done that," she mumbled. We spent several minutes rocking slowly to the music, Iona pressing with her back to me and my arms around her. "I have to go to the bathroom," she told me quietly. "Come with me?"

"Girl's bathroom, here we come," I smiled down at her.

We made our way to the middle of the house to one of two lower bathrooms, this one devoted to girls for the night. As Iona gave me a quick, shy grin and disappeared behind the door, I realized some asshole was giving me the once over. It was the AKA who had been scoping out Heaven. I met his glare until he turned away and left.

Cappadocia gave me a friendly bump as she slipped past me and went into the bathroom as well. "Oh, Zzzzaannnneee..." giggled Cappy, mimicking Leigh's earlier outburst which led me to groan and slump against the wall. Iona came out and beamed with pleasure, maybe dreading that I would have abandoned her again.

Something caught her eye that caused that smile to fade into concern. I looked her way and saw the pit bull, and he'd gained a buddy. Fortunately, the hall ran both ways so I took Iona by the arm and turned to go the other direction -- where I saw Heaven's old beau and he'd grown two AKA clones. With pain so imminent on the horizon I had to wonder if I'd been such a total bastard.

"Get help," I hissed to Iona before pushing her away from me. I moved so my back was to the bathroom door.

"Zane-boy," mocked the Heaven guy, "let's go out back and talk."

"No, thanks," I smiled, "I may be a horny fucker but you are too much of a pussy for me."

As you might guess, that didn't go over well. I weighed my responses and decided my best option was to drag things out until a few FFU ladies could come to my rescue so I let them grab hold of me. What I had underestimated was their sense of entitlement. They didn't feel the need to hide my beat-down. They shoved me through the girl's bathroom door and poured in after me, ready for an immediate infliction of my punishment.

The one silver lining was that they'd thrown the first punch so I was free to lash out. I kicked the first guy coming for me, knocking him back into the wall beside the door. I snaked a punch past the second man's guard but then they overwhelmed me and slammed me into the far wall. I blocked with my thighs and forearms until they pinned my arms, then the body blows began.

"Hold him up," the Heaven butthole growled to his buddies, "I'm going to kick his ass."

"Since your fist is as tiny as your penis, that's hardly a threat," I gasped. My dumb comment earned me a crunching blow to the ribs. Right then, the stall beside us opened up revealing Cappadocia as she stepped out.

"Get out of here, bitch," the guy closest to her snapped. Cappadocia had a moment to assess the situation.

"I kick ass for the Lord," she stated clearly.

"Huh?" the guy had just enough time to say before Cappadocia's spin-kick caught him along his jaw line, slammed his face into the tiled wall, and re-arranged his dental work.

At the same time, my main assailant hammered me again but Cappadocia rapidly became a primary diversion. It was a real pity; they should have been watching the door because Heaven came storming through and kidney punched the first (non-me) bastard she came across. A third guy managed to raise his arms fast enough to partially deflect Cappadocia's next punch.

As they released me, I slumped half-way down the wall before Heaven's bastard launched another kick at me. I was able to block it with my arms. He hauled back again with a snarl on his face when Heaven blazed up behind him, grabbed the back of his head, and pummeled it into the wall. Heaven spun around as Cappadocia yanked me up.

Against us, the last three AKA's were gathering themselves for our rush. Another frat-boy opened the door.

"Guys, is everything..." he began before Rio smashed that nice looking vase I'd last seen in the entryway over the man's head.

The guy staggered and fell to one knee so Rio kicked him in his butt and sent him sprawling on the floor. Before she could get off more than one war-whoop, yet another AKA yanked her into the hall. Heaven was fierce and I knew Cappadocia could fight but I was far less certain of how well Rio could defend herself; we charged.

Now, please understand that FFU does not turn out super-commandos. It stresses physical fitness and discipline but that doesn't overcome the basic advantage of height, weight and reach of the average AKA brother. Add to that, we were outnumbered two to one and things were looking bad.

One unforeseen advantage we possessed was that if you were FFU, every guy was the enemy (some were still a little conflicted by my existence). The same did not hold true for Alpha Kappa Alpha. Nearly half the girls were Kappa Sigma. All it really took was Iona being a smart little camper.

Iona found Christina and Tawny and rapidly brought them up to speed with the crisis. Christina quickly moved to get her girls out while Tawny rallied her troops to break up the fight. It was inevitable that some confused AKA punched out a Kappa Sig, at which point chaos broke out. In the midst of this, Rio and I bolted for the back in order to gather all the girls in the back of the house.

Heaven and Cappadocia did the same, heading up to the front. The plan was, we'd make for my house with as many as we could gather. With some effort I made it out the back gate with eight of my ladies and we ran for the wood line separating the properties. As we broke through into view of Aunt Jill's house, we ran into Christina and the rest of our expedition.

A quick check showed that though we were bloody and torn, we were all accounted for. The look Christina gave me was scathing and I accepted it with shame because I'd promised my school mates a fun time, not a melee. I was figuring this was the end when Heaven came up and took my hand, smiling up at me.

"That was fun," she laughed. Charity, Faith, and Hope nodded, along with more than half of the other girls.

"What the fuck?" I muttered. Rio laughed and slapped me on the back.

"Just like old times, minus the gunshots and sirens," Rio declared ecstatically. On cue, the sirens began in the distance. As we raced to the house, Heaven couldn't stop grinning like a maniac

"Damn it, Zane, you stapled a smile to her face," Christina glowered at me once we got inside and, with the quartet, we separated from the rest. "You fucked her, didn't you?"

"What makes you think that?" I evaded. It wasn't like she was either of our parents.

"Assume for a moment I haven't known her like she's my own twin sister -- no, wait, you can't because she is like my twin sister," Christina pointed out. She reached out and took Heaven by the arm.

"Tell me you didn't let him fuck you," she pleaded with her friend.

"I...uh...yes, I dragged him into a closet and let him fuck me up the ass until I could no longer stand, and I loved it...and he wants to do it to me again," Heaven fought back, "and again."

"Zane, why did you do this to her?" Christina turned back to me.

"Duh!" I grumbled, "She's hot and she likes sex. I wasn't aware I needed any more motivation." Chastity lost it and began giggling, which brought down Hope's iron exterior as well. Christina shot them a glance but Chastity wouldn't stop.

"Christina, I think we have a bigger concern," Chastity stated.

"What is that?" Christina responded cautiously.

"I'd worry about which one of us Zane nails next," Chastity explained between snickers.

"Wow," I sighed, "you make it sound like I'm some sort of sexual predator."

"Zane, you are a sexual predator," Hope pointed out.

"I prefer the term service provider," I quipped. Heaven snuck up on me and took my hand. I immediately suspected a judo throw was in my future but instead, she snuggled around my arm like a mini Barbie Lynn. I was suddenly missing the Heaven who wanted to kick me because I knew that personality, where this new one was a mystery.

"Heaven?" Christina questioned her, clearly as confused as me.

"Hey, I've never had a boyfriend before," Heaven shrugged. "I want to get some use out of him." Christina had no comeback for that. I'm thinking 'boyfriend?'

"You do realize you are going to have to share him?" Hope pointed out.

"As long as those other girls know their place, I'm okay with that," Heaven stated matter-of-factly.

"On that note, I'm going to go look for some ladies that actually appreciate me," I announced as I untangled myself from Heaven. As I broke free, Heaven made a grab for my elbow.

"Can we...you know...get together tomorrow?" she asked. I stroked her cheek around her ear and into the hair at the back of her head, bringing her head to me so that we could kiss.

"Sure. I'll pick you up around five. We can hit a restaurant then can catch a movie," I outlined. Heaven blinked with uncertainty.

"I...what?" she muttered.

"Heaven, Zane is asking you out on a date," Christina explained to her friend. Heaven looked over to me for confirmation so I nodded.

"Say 'yes'," Chastity goaded Heaven, who had been rendered speechless.

"Yes," Heaven said to me.

"I'll pick you up in the parking lot at five," I told her before departing in search of Rio, Iona, and Barbie Lynn.