Christian College Sex Comedy Ch. 12

"Five guys decided to beat you up? Was there a reason?" she persisted. The other officer began rubbing her fingers along with mine.

"Short story, none of your business; longer version, these frat boys were messing with some of the ladies I came to the party with and I got the ladies away. Later, they came for payback and a fight ensued. I got my ladies out, then went back to the Kappa Sigs to see if everything was okay."

"But neither the FFU girls nor the Sorority pressed charges so we don't know who they are, and now you are in another fight, women are involved, but you won't tell us who they are either," she outlined.

"Basically, yes," I replied.

"You are looking at some very serious trouble if these girls don't step forward or you don't tell us who they are," she explained. I took the time to move my free hand behind me and onto the thigh of the officer there. In seconds, I had spider-climbed my hand to her crotch. She tensed up, pushed away from me, then rocked forward until her breasts bracketed my head.

"Well, since that's not going to happen, how about we get something to eat?" I sighed. I figured that sleep wasn't likely so I might as well toss around some sexual innuendo to lighten the mood.

"You are looking at serious jail time and your first thought is to order out?" the interrogator questioned.

"I was hoping to eat in, actually," I grinned.

"Oh...and what makes you think that is going to happen?" she questioned me with a sexual undertone.

"Two female officers, you are not taking notes, and I've been frigging your partner behind my back for nearly a minute now without her putting my head through the table," I explained.

She stared at me for a second, not sure if I was exhibiting bravado or I was really playing into their game. Apparently her partner expressed to her visually that I was indeed playing with her.

"Well, what do you have in mind?" she gave a lopsided grin. "I'm Haley and she's Tara."

"First off," I stood up, moved the chair away, and turned to Tara, "I'd like to do this." I ran my hands down her sides, around to cup the ass she'd shown me in the cell while I kissed her.

Tara pulled my lips down to her ear and neck while I raised her leg up until her knee was at my hip level. When I began working on her belt buckle, her hands came around and helped me until it swung loose and she lowered it to the ground. A rapid mutual stripping off of the clothes followed.

"You two want to slow down?" Haley joked as she came up behind me.

"Fuck, this thing is huge," Tara gasped past me to her partner. Since her hand had surrounded my cock, I had to imagine she had a flair for the dramatic. "He's twice as big as my husband." Oh, Hell! Husband? I guess if I was a better guy, I'd end things right now...but I'm an okay guy, not a saint.

"If he complains, remind him that he's sleeping with that tramp of a sister you have," Haley teased.

"God, yes," Tara moaned happily, "Let's get a condom on this bad boy and see if he performs as advertised. If he's anything like his video, I can't wait to show this to Bill and let's see how he likes it."

"Whoa," I interjected. "Who is your husband, Bill, and is he going to want to kill me?" Tara slid down my body, licking my shaft and balls as she went, retrieved a condom from her pants, and came back up along the same path.

"Don't you worry, Zane; he's a bouncer at the Fallout Shelter," Tara assured me.

Clearly I had no idea what that was so Tara enlightened me.

"It's a popular college club. You can't get in there legally anyway."

"Your sister?" I questioned. As for the club, was an ID the only thing in the way? Simple.

"She's a bartender there, the slut. She's still pissed that I put her husband away," Haley explained.

"What'd he go in for?" This was getting more and more twisted. Haley began rubbing her nearly naked body against mine from behind.

"Arms trafficking. He was sentenced to twelve years down in Fairview," Haley murmured, "Now, let's put that tongue to better use." Arms trafficking...at least I'm learning about firearms at school.

I turned Tara around and pushed her up against the table next to Haley.

"How are we going to do this?" Haley asked.

"You both get up on the table and I'll give it a shot," I told them. "I am so far past exhausted that I feel invincible."

I crouched down, placing Haley's left and Tara's right between my legs, and began to massage their cunts in tandem. I moved up to Haley first, kissing her pussy lips, then making three passes with my tongue, parting her lips and tasting her fluids as they began to flow. I then transferred my attention to Tara, this time sucking on her already excited clit.

"Make out," I suggested to the objects of my affections.

"We are not like that," Tara told me. Well, that sucked...or more like, I was going to be the only one sucking, which made my job a lot harder. Now I had to increase the activities of my fingers to keep them boiling, and finally I sent Tara over the edge with clitoral stimulation with my lips and teeth.

"Oh, God!" she cried out shrilly. Her legs wrapped around my shoulders and squeezed me tightly to her, temporarily pulling my hand away from Haley's honey trap. The second I could pry myself free of Tara's legs, I stood over Haley and began sliding my penis into her hot, steamy vagina. "Aaaahhh," she moaned, "give it to me just like that...oh, yeah."

I pushed in slowly. By her tightness, I figured it had been some time since she'd had sex.

"Oh, fuck..." she went on.

"Bigger than Chris?" Tara chuckled, somewhat breathless. Chris? Who the fuck was Chris? If I had to deal with another husband, I was going to seek out a non-extradition country.

"Chris?" I ground out, as I picked up my pounding of Haley.

"My...ugh...ex...ugh...damn...you are ...ugh...good," Haley grunted. "Caught...oh, yeah...him...banging a...ugh...co-ed...ugh...divorced his...ass."

What the hell? Could no one in this town keep it in their pants? Had I come home to where I truly belonged?

"How is he?" Tara asked.

"I'm...mmm...plotting out...yeah, baby...that...ugh...mile...oh, good...between his...mmm...school and...fuck, yeah...his home." Haley urged me on harder with her thighs on my ass and her fingernails on my shoulders and back.

Lucky me; Lancaster city limits end right past the Kappa Sigma house, then it's all county up to the campus gates. I already had a city cop waiting for second round and now I was adding to frustrated Sheriff's Deputies figuring out how to commit legal malfeasance on my ass. I was so distracted, I literally collided with Haley's face as she grabbed the back of my head and pulled me down.

Kissing, I understood; the licking of Tara's juices off my face is somewhat unexpected. I caught Tara mesmerized by the show, though I was really not in a position to push them together because Haley started going off.

"You bastard," she growled, "bastard...bastard...fuck...fuck...you BASTARD!!"

She bucked up against me with powerful jabs that rotated and lifted her hips into my downward thrusts. She made this hissing noise through her clenched teeth as her orgasm gripped her body in one massive seizure. How exactly do you explain fucking a female officer to death?

"Did...is she going to be okay?" Tara worried. How in the Hell am I supposed to know?

"Ooohhh, Gawd," Haley finally gasped. "Do you date older women?"

"Ah, I don't know, since I may be going to prison soon," I responded cautiously.

"That's not going to be a problem," Tara said seductively as she tilted my sweaty face her way. "Those guys dropped the charges. Your lawyers are processing you out right now."

"A less deviant personality would be upset by what you two just did," I groaned, "but since the sex has been really good and I haven't cum yet, all I really want to know is, do we have to stop now or can we keep going?" They exchanged glances, then turned on me with a hunger worthy of she-wolves. Fortunately, I was feeling pretty damn Alpha wolf right then too. Yes, I'm an idiot.

An hour later we were all finishing getting dressed when I slumped back on the table and put an arm over my eyes to shield me from the overhead florescent lights.

"You okay, Zane?" Tara asked.

"Nothing wrong here, but I did have this fantasy that I'd get a good night's sleep tonight. I'm not sure how I'm going to get through classes," I relayed to them.

"The weekend is almost here," Haley said as she pulled me up and off the table. I stumbled into her arms and she gave me one more saucy kiss. "Now we better produce your body before too many questions are asked."

"Don't worry, we'll keep in touch with you to make sure those guys don't cause you any trouble," Tara grinned.

"Which guys?" I asked for clarification.

"Exactly," Haley smiled. Translation: whatever excuse works. "Let's go." We three had all made it out the door and about fifteen steps down the hall when a voice called out behind us.

"Zane." It was Hudson Lane...the school's lawyer.

My two new friends and I turned around and I didn't have to be told how bad things were. Lane and another woman had come out of the door next to the interrogation room I'd just left. That would be the room on the other side of the one-way glass.

"Hey, Ms. Lane," I grinned, even as the blood drained out of my face. "Been here long?"

"About an hour," she smiled knowingly.

"I can explain," I gulped. My two cop buddies were very silent on the matter.

"This is going to be good," Lane told the woman standing next to her. The stranger looked intrigued.

"See, I ended up in a cell with some drug smugglers and it necessitated a full-body cavity search," I offered hopefully.

"While that is a possibility, far-fetched perhaps, why were the officers required to also be without their clothing?" the unnamed lawyer asked. I stared at her.

"That's Zane's way of asking who you are," Hudson smiled.

"Oh, my apology. I'm Sophia Brigitte Messier. I was hired to represent you in this matter," the lawyer answered.

"Oh...okay. The officers discovered that they might have had drug residue on their uniforms and had to remove them before the drugs could take effect," I lied.

"And the physical Olympics that ensued?" Brigitte smirked.

"CPR...I was having a bad reaction to...something," I groaned.

"For an hour? You are lucky to be alive," she said with a straight face.

"I often feel that way too...lucky to be alive, that is," I clarified.

"Officers, I think we are done here tonight," Lane told my female Deputies. They both took a deep breath, Tara smirked at me, then they both departed down the hall. "Let's go, Zane; it is time to get you home." I moved aside so that Lane and Messier could walk past me, but Lane put her hand to my back and moved me forward.

"No, you don't," she laughed. "You need to get to campus before daylight."

"Couldn't you stash me in a motel room for twenty-four hours?" I stifled a yawn. Lane shook her head and steered me out. As I was leaving the station, a short, burly Deputy brushed past me. His name tag read Chris Urquhart. Well, fuck a duck...Haley's ex is a Sheriff's Deputy too.

"Zane, are you okay?" Lane asked with some concern.

"Let's get out of here before that guy figures out I just nailed his ex-wife," I whispered to her.

"My car is this way," Brigitte motioned to us, and we hastily made to her car and sped away.

"Just so I have this straight," Brigitte turned to Lane, "you let this guy live among an entire school of young ladies?"

"I'd trust my daughter if I had one," Hudson declared. "Zane's reliable and loyal, if sexually..."

"Promiscuous, aggressive, dynamic..." Brigitte added. "I can only imagine how this story is going to be received around the bar where I hang out. I'm not sure anyone will believe me."

"This has never happened to you before?" Lane teased us both.

"Going to a hospital and intimidating witnesses, happens all the time. Going to the station to retrieve my client, only to find him...I don't even know how to describe all those sexual acts he perpetrated on those two female officers...still having sex with two of his arresting officers, how does this happen to someone?" Brigitte wondered.

"That's Zane," Lane answered. "Zane, have you ever turned down an offer of sex?"

"Recently," I thought about it, "technically, yes I have."

"Really?" Lane sounded surprised.

"Well, she said I could do anything to her, and I told her I wanted to cuddle," I told them. "Does that count?"

"A girl throws herself at you and all you want to do is cuddle?" Brigitte said. "If it wasn't for what I witnessed over the past hour, I might think you were gay."

"She is a really nice girl who is worried about the nature of our relationship. She didn't really want to have sex, she wanted to be appreciated, so I held her and talked to her and we fell asleep in each other's arms," I explained.

"Is this the guy you think is a threat to our girls at Freedom Fellowship?" Lane questioned.

"I actually wish my boyfriend had felt that way. He was all about quick sex and rolling over, and private time was spending the night at a club with his friends," Brigitte mulled it over, then, "Oh, God, I unloaded on the two of you. I don't even know either one of you."

"Zane makes women around him do all kinds of crazy things," Lane chuckled. "Blame him."

"Honestly, Ms. Messier, you need to take a good swim to unwind," I noted. "Not power-laps either, but diving and swimming deep, fun stuff." Silence followed.

"How did you know I was a swimmer? I competed in college," Brigitte inquired.

"You have that kind of body, plus the way your roll your shoulders and hips," I responded.

"I thought you would say something like my breasts were small," she stated.

"What do you mean? You have great breasts. That green half-cup is a really good choice for you, too," I told her.

"How..." Brigitte stammered.

"I notice women," I explained. "Brown eyes, set tight on an aquiline nose, shoulder length black hair -- but you probably feel you need a haircut -- fine bone structure, five foot ten, and maybe 115 pounds, slender, and you regularly wax." More silence followed.

"How old is he, again?" Brigitte asked Hudson.

"I swear he's only eighteen; we checked. All we can figure is that it is genetic. Apparently his father was a real hellion," Lane related. "We are lucky there aren't dozens of little Zanes out there."

"Maybe that is why my Dad told me to never use my real name when I first asked him for dating advice," I mused.

"I thought your parents died when you were fifteen," Brigitte asked.

"They did, but I started dating when I was twelve," I enlightened her.

"You were dating when you were twelve?" Hudson gawked.

"If it is any consolation, she was sixteen," I offered.

"How do you date a sixteen-year-old when you are twelve?" Brigitte wondered.

"She was upset because some other girls were bothering her. I started up a conversation and then I asked her out and she said yes," I stated what was obvious to me.

"Tell me you didn't have sex," Lane said.

"No, I didn't have sex. I was a virgin until I went to Thailand," I filled them in.

"No sex of any kind?" Brigitte asked.

"I didn't say that. I mean, she was gorgeous and...filled out so much more than girls in my class, and she wanted to show me stuff," I continued. Silence followed us into the campus parking lot.

"We'll see you up to your room," Hudson told me as we got out of the car. At this point, I figured I could make a run for it, but then Gorman would probably let them into my room eventually anyway. I considered leaving the campus forever but I couldn't leave Rio behind. Finally, I surrendered to the inevitable.

Not because I'm egotistical or believe I'm sexually irresistible but because all I want to do is sleep, and that seems to draw women to me like nails to a magnet. My life would have been so much easier if I'd lied and told Brigitte she was a stick and claimed Hudson was unremarkable. Of course, my hell-bound mind referenced that Hudson was definitely bi-sexual and Brigitte was lonely.

"I need you to sign some papers," Brigitte told me as we entered the dorm.

"Can I grab a shower first?" I responded. Ms. Messier and Lane exchanged looks.

"Of course, Zane," Lane replied. "We'll go over our notes until you get back."

In reality, lawyers are struggling guys in cheap suits with bad diets and an under-developed sense of humor.

In my world, they are leggy babes with overcharged libidos and a penchant for mixing business with pleasure. I fully expected a lesbian love fest when I got back to my room from my shower so I was a bit surprised when I got back and found them sitting on opposite ends of the bed in awkward conversation.

I'm standing there with a white towel around my waist and my flesh covered in a sheen of steam-borne water. Brigitte couldn't take her eyes off me and licked her lips like I was a piece of prime rib. Hudson looked at her and visually teased me seductively; she had used me as bait to get at her newfound colleague. I'd hate her if she wasn't so damn hot. I'm going to have to add Nuvigil to the Viagra I need to start taking.

"Zane, why don't you sit down next to Brigitte and we can conclude our business," Hudson smiled and gave me a wink. Great, I've gone from her sex toy to her accomplice. I sat down next to Brigitte, our thighs rubbing against each other. She nervously pulled out some papers and a notepad from her briefcase and held them up for me to look over. At the same time, Hudson scooted down the bed until she was wedged in on my other side.

"Here is the itinerary I followed," she began.

"Okay...good," I nodded. I would have paid more attention except Hudson touched my jaw and pulled my head away from Brigitte and my lips into hers.

"My interview...maybe I should..." Brigitte stuttered, then fell totally quiet when I rested a hand on her thigh right above the knee.

Hudson and I kept making out, even after she pushed me back on the bed and hovered over me. I kept a hand resting on Brigitte's hip and I felt her shift so she was closer to facing the two of us.

"Keep him busy," Hudson suddenly told Brigitte as she pulled up and away and began taking her shirt off. She looked back and forth between me and Lane for three seconds before leaning in on me.

"Are you okay with this?" she said in a throaty growl. I figured less was more so I simply nodded. She started kissing me tentatively so I ran my hand through her hair and pulled her closer. Her position was ungainly so I figured she'd turn on her side and lay beside me. Instead, she vaulted me and straddled my hips.

"Are you really sure you are okay with this?" she panted.

"If you are asking me if I want to have sex with you, then yes, I have been fantasizing about having sex with you since I first saw you, Brigitte." Not really the truth, but she did have a nice, firm, athletic body and I did want to know it better. On my tombstone I want these words transcribed: He was just curious.

"Thank God," she confessed, as her eyes lit up with passion, "because I haven't had sex in nine months and watching you for the past hour and a half has been murder."

"Are you going to make love to him with your clothes on?" Hudson teased Brigitte.

"Oh, right," Brigitte admitted. She rolled off toward Hudson and began hiking up her skirt and working down her pantyhose and panties.

"Don't go anywhere," she demanded of me.

"This is my room; I'm hardly going to make a run for the door," I joked back. I pulled off my towel, rolled onto my side, and returned to kissing Brigitte. Every time she revealed a new portion of her body, I dove on it, tasting, kissing, and nibbling every inch.

Hudson finished getting undressed first despite Brigitte's frantic efforts. She was content to watch me and the new lawyer go at it. When Brigitte finished stripping she pulled me on top of her with her legs pinning my hips to her. I reached between her legs and stroked her kitty.