Christian College Sex Comedy Ch. 20

"Do you have a gun?" I asked with as much patience as I could muster.

He grinned evilly, pulled back his vest, and showed me the automatic he had stuck into his belt. I waited until his hand released the vest and moved toward his hip. I snatched the gun, flipped it around and rammed the barrel into his stomach. The only sound in the place was the four overhead fans and some Chris Rock wannabe belting it out over the stereo system.

Rio's screams were becoming shriller.

"I don't appreciate you pointing a gun at one of my brothers," a different man said. He was one of the group of four that had arrived earlier but I had the impression he was 'somebody'.

"I'm really busy right now but I promise to deal with you when I retrieve my friend; okay?"

I didn't wait for his response because I was sure it would suck.

"Do you want me to feed you your gun back one bullet at a time?" I prodded the guy I had the gun on? He looked around for the moral support from his gang members.

"Do it and you are dead," he countered with what I felt was false bravado.

"That will hardly do you any good," I grinned as I cocked the hammer back. "Do you want your gun back?"

"Ah, yes?" the biker gulped.

"Are you going to let me get my girl and get her out of here?" I asked.

"Ah, sure?" he seemed confused. I un-cocked the gun, flipped the handhold around and offered him his piece, grip first. No one appeared to know what to make of that. As if expecting a trick, the guy moved slowly. When he took it, I made to move past him.

"You be careful now," I told him. He cocked the gun and pressed it into the side of my ribs.

"Fuck you," he managed to get out before the 'click' and the point of Valkyrie's blade dug into his jugular, drawing a line of blood.

"You really are too fucking stupid to live," Val seethed. "I'm Valkyrie of the Stormriders," she challenged the room.

"We wage war on the Hell's Angels and the Mongols so some two-bit outfit like you Warlords doesn't bother me in the least. I'll bleed every one of you fuckers. Your bitch picked a fight with our bitch and you wouldn't man up and deal with it so now my friends will," she growled. "Zane, go get Rio." I nodded quickly and moved past the guy with the gun.

"Iona with me; Mercy, you watch Valkyrie's back," I ordered. Iona clung to my back while Mercy hesitantly moved back to back with Val. She wanted to come with us and save Rio, no doubt. I raced over to the women's bathroom and flung open the door. Four sets of eyes riveted me as I came in. The other two women were busy shoving Rio headfirst into one of the toilets.

The rest of us were facing knives and guns and Rio was about to get a swirlie.

"Hi," I stammered. The two women holding Rio down backed out of the stall and joined the stand-off.

"Zane, what fucking took you so long?" Rio panted. She staggered out and looked Iona and I over.

"Where the fuck is Mercy?" Rio sounded concerned.

"You stupid cow!" I snapped. "We are about to be murdered because of you, damn it."

"You left Mercy out there with those animals?" Rio screeched back. She tried to push past the other biker chicks but thankfully didn't get very far. I'd have decked her myself.

"Would you please give us our friend back," I requested after taking a deep breath. I was about to be told 'no' when one of the other bikers stepped into the light and I made her out clearly for the first time.

"You're..." I started to say.

"You are Zane Braxton," she stated.

"The guy who fucked your sister for an hour?" the lady closest to the lead girl asked.

"Yeah," she leered. "He's the kid from the DVD she sent me and her husband, the bitch." Yes, this was the twin sister of the Sheriff's Deputy I'd had a three-way with. Didn't she work at a college club as a bartender? What a small damn world.

The whole atmosphere of the room changed. Rio shrugged off the hands holding on to her but didn't bolt.

"Rio, take Iona out to the others and wait for me in the parking lot," I insisted.

"No, Zane. I'm not leaving you here to take Rio's beating," Iona resisted. Rio wasn't abandoning me either. I reached out and stroked Iona's hair and put my keys in her hand.

"It will be okay. No one is going to kill anyone here tonight. Now I need you to go so I can settle up accounts," I grinned down at her with only a twinge of worry. Rio resolved the matter by taking Iona by the hand and dragging her out. Iona looked to be on the verge of tears. Rio's eyes told me she's suddenly sobered up and was regretting leaving me in harm's way.

I looked back at the six women and the one oddity chipped away at my senses but I didn't know what to make of it.

"So, how's your husband?" was the only, and rather lame, thing I could think to say.

"I think he's turned State's Evidence against the Aryan Nation," she shrugged.

"I thought your husband was some sort of hardened criminal," I inquired.

"Ha," several of the chicks chuckled. "Zane, my husband is an accountant," she clarified with some amusement at my expense.

"But...weapons charges...he was laundering money?" I pieced it together.

"Good job, College boy," the 'strange' woman congratulated me.

"Let's get you out of here before someone takes offense," the leader said. "Give me your number and we'll walk you out. I'm Belle, by the way." She offered her hand and I foolishly kissed it. I quickly gave up my digits, then we did a series of handshakes, French kisses and introductions. When the 'strange' woman's turn came, she introduced herself as Willa.

I wanted to fucking cry because just looking at a woman will tell me a good deal about her person, a handshake even more, and a kiss is freaking El Dorado. Willa was a biker chick but she was also college educated, had a regimented training background, and was the only woman in the room who was looking for a way to not hurt Rio -- very service-minded of her.

"There may be a problem," I interrupted as we headed for the door. "There is this guy," I described the guy I took the gun from, "who I took his gun and threatened him with it. This other guy," I painted a portrait of the authoritative guy, "told me he was pissed with the whole gun thing." All the women stopped and looked at one another.

"Zane, where is the gun?" Belle questioned me.

"I gave it back to him once he agreed that I could come in here and retrieve Rio, my friend," I answered.

"It is a damn miracle you aren't dead," Willa scowled.

"I would have been but my other buddy, Val, put a knife to his throat. I left her with Rio's companion covering her back," I explained. "She's kind of tough."

"That the one with Stormrider colors?" Belle asked.

"Yeah. She's Valarie Palmer, my classmate as FFU," I told them.

"Is she Damien Palmer's little girl?" Willa guessed.

"She's his oldest granddaughter; is that important?" I inquired. The women seemed nervously amused by my ignorance.

"He's a God-damn legend, Zane," Belle said. "Damien Palmer once took the Stormriders to a Mongol gathering in Las Vegas. Outnumbered three to one, they kicked serious ass, cleared out the place, and he ended the fight by grabbing a Mongol chapter president and some other poor Mongol bastard, jumped out a fifth-story balcony, and used their bodies to cushion his fall. I doubt prison has mellowed him much."

"Your problems are a little more immediate. The guy whose gun you took is Big Ted -- he's a moron. That 'other guy' is Deacon, Warlord chapter president for Northern Virginia," Willa weighed in.

"Is he going to let my girls go?" I fretted.

"Let's go and find out," Belle shrugged. We stepped out, Belle in the lead, followed by Willa, then me, then the rest. There were a few guys standing by the doors watching something. No one was jumping around or nursing serious wounds so I hoped the girls had exited.

"Belle, the kid and I need to have a word out back," Deacon ordered confidently.

"Deacon, my sister is keeping an eye on this guy," Belle suggested. "It may not be a good idea to put him in the hospital."

"We can't let him push Big Ted around; it is happening," Deacon declared.

"Big Ted," she looked to the guy I'd punked, "you want to kick Zane's ass out front?"

Belle left Big Ted in the awkward position of taking his chances with me or looking weak in front of his gang.

"I'll hand him his nuts," Big Ted growled. Deacon gave his consent and the club emptied out into the front lot.

My girls were huddled around my car and Valarie's bike. Rio looked like she was going to do something stupid like run up to me but Mercy and Val held her back. I was actually relieved to see that Iona was behind the wheel of my car with the engine running. The Warlords spread out in a rough semi-circle with Deacon, Big Ted and Belle in the center.

I had backed up about ten feet toward the road, facing the Warlords, when Big Ted came for me. He was about my height but around fifty pounds heavier, thus the name Big Ted. The Warlord flexed his arms and did some kind of primitive gesture meant to intimidate me.

"So do we start with 'ready, set, go' or what?" I questioned.

That brought a round of laughter from the motorcycle gang and Big Ted looked over his shoulder to share in their mirth. My first kick caught him in the nuts, the second one caught him in the chest and knocked him down, and the third saw me stomping on his nut sack once again. I swept around him and kicked him in the head hard enough, he rolled over twice in the dust.

Ted was seriously unconscious. For ten seconds no one said a word. Any hope I had of getting away with my underhanded win began to fade when Deacon came forward.

"You come to my roadhouse, beat up one of my people, and expect to get away with it?" he grumbled.

"Deacon, I am so very sorry this happened. My friends and I only wanted to come by, have a few beers, and let my buddy Val soak in the kind of establishment she was used to going to -- namely a biker bar," I said carefully. "Things were said, my best bud went a little nuts, and the shit got out of hand. How can I make it up to you?"

"What the fuck can you do for me?" Deacon sneered.

"Five thousand dollars?" I threw out there. He studied me.

"You have that kind of money?" he questioned me.

"Absolutely; I can have you the money tomorrow at six p.m." I promised.

"Don't fuck up," he stated with menace, "or I will hunt you and your friends down. Got it?"

"Understood," I pledged. Deacon snorted in disdain and headed back inside. The rest of the Warlords were heading inside with a few dragging Ted in and I finally let my focus expand beyond my immediate environs. The car pulling up was still unexpected.

I knew the shape of the person who stepped out of the Sheriff's cruiser.

"Zane," Sheriff's Deputy Tara Cavanaugh greeted me happily. "Belle," she said to her sister with far less warmth. "Zane, what brings you here?"

"A schoolmate of mine is a motorcyclist; she wanted to see what a biker bar was like so we ended up here."

"We couldn't get in because we are only eighteen but another friend of mine got sick and had to go to the bathroom. Belle was good enough to get her out," I lied.

"Zane, you have sawdust on your shoes," Tara pointed out.

"I had to go part of the way in to get my friend," I grinned feebly.

"Zane, are you lying to me?" Tara frowned.

"Yes," I admitted. "The truth is only going to cause a whole lot of trouble, though."

"Wow, morally flexible where the law is concerned," Belle licked her lips. "Of course we already knew he was all kinds of flexible, didn't we?"

"Usually the point where I start being talked about like a piece of meat is my cue to leave," I stated crossly. "Deputy Cavanaugh, may I leave now?"

"Beat it, Zane," Tara told me.

"Thanks, Deputy; take care, Belle. It was nice to meet you and thanks for all your help," I thanked her before rejoining my companions. Valarie drove alone in the lead. The rest of us followed in my car, sans conversation.

SORTING THROUGH ONE HELL OF A MESS

We kept our silence until we stepped out of the elevator on the fifth floor. Valarie grabbed Rio ferociously, slammed her into the wall with one hand holding Rio's right bicep while her forearm was pressed so it choked Rio's throat.

"You stupid, crazy bitch!" Valarie howled. "You could have gotten us all killed!"

I looped an arm around Mercy's waist before she could go charging to Rio's rescue...and have Valarie beat her up.

"Hang on, Mercy; I'll work this out," I whispered. She nodded but her concern was burning through. It was heart-warming to see Iona put an arm through Mercy's in what would be a futile gesture to keep Mercy still if things went bad.

"Get your hands off me, Cum-dumpster," Rio snarled, followed by some choking noises as Valerie applied pressure to her windpipe. Next Rio tried to kick Valerie but the bigger woman deflected it with her thigh. It was time for me to step up.

"I've got this, Valerie," I told her calmly.

Valerie stepped back because she figured her next option was to beat Rio black and blue. I moved into Valerie's place but put my hands to either side of Rio's shoulders.

"Rio, this is done; let's put it aside and go to bed early if you want, but I want to ask you one thing if you'll let me," I asked softly.

"Fuck off, Zane," Rio rumbled, "I'm not in the mood for one of your mind games."

"Okay," I shrugged. "To the Bitter End," I nodded.

"To the Bitter End," she muttered back, her eyes drooping to the ground.

"We are done," I told the rest of the crowd. Valerie snorted angrily and I figured she'd either bitch me out or never speak to me again. Rio grabbed me before I got away.

"I...damn it, Zane...I screwed up again," she choked back a sob.

"I'm fine, Rio. I signed on for the crazy so I have no one to blame but myself," I reassured her.

"What did you want to ask me?" she sighed as she put her cheek on my chest.

"Bro, I can't keep charging in to save you and keep Iona safe at the same time. What am I going to do?" I inquired.

"Sorry, Man. I fucked up big time," she moaned. "I don't know why it happened."

"That doesn't matter, Rio. Let's call it a night," I said serenely. We started to break up and I could see Valerie still glaring hate at me and Rio. "Rio, do me a favor?"

"What?" Rio sounded dejected.

"What was the second and...third thing you asked me in the bathroom?" I inquired. Rio snapped her face up toward me, angry and upset.

"Don't," she insisted.

"I have a near-eidetic memory so if you don't remember, I do," Iona chimed in.

"Shut up, you two," Rio snarled.

"Rio, I have had it with you. Jump and I'll kick in your teeth," Val seethed in response. Mercy looked ready to jump in too.

"You said 'Where is..." I began.

"Don't, damn it," Rio growled, but she could see I wasn't going to relent. "Fine," she groaned in defeat. "I asked where Mercy was, then I bitched you out for leaving her with those 'animals'. Happy now?"

"Pretty much, yeah," I tried not to sound pleased with myself.

What I did accomplish was put a glimmer of understanding in Valerie's mind. A few seconds later Mercy clued in too.

"Oh, Rio," Mercy teared up, "you didn't have to worry."

"I swear, if you cry I'm going to shove so many ice cubes up your cunt, your eyes will shimmer like a snow globe," Rio swore to Mercy.

"Rio," Valerie sighed with exasperation, "Learn how to fight, and more importantly, learn when not to fight." In the pack dynamic, going off and picking your own fight was nuts; fighting for someone in your group was totally different. By the uncomplicated code that nomads lived by, you stuck up for your own, and that made all the difference to Valerie.

Rio was still crazy and could have gotten us all killed, but she'd done it for another member of the group; in this, case, Mercy. That demanded a reprimand, not expulsion.

"How about we go up to Zane's and have some ice-cream?" Iona suggested.

"We have ice-cream?" Rio perked up. "When did this happen?"

"Rio," Iona sighed wearily, "we put them in on the first day. They are two 1950's style ice-cream freezers -- one opposite the close showers and the other down by the far kitchenette."

"Mercy," Rio grinned fiercely, "Bring several wash cloths to bed tonight. I'm going to cover your nipples with mint chocolate chip and lick it off." I wondered if Mercy could actually orgasm to death, she certainly looked ready to.

"I thought you were going to..." Mercy turned to Rio and patted her own behind.

"Pound-cake, what makes you think you are getting any sleep tonight?" Rio chastised Mercy, then spanked her butt.

"Rio, are you bi-polar?" Val ground out. "One second you are weeping on Zane's shoulder and the next you are engaging in kinky foreplay with your girlfriend."

"She's not my girlfriend, she's my toy," Rio corrected. "Also, this shit ain't over. I know Zane jumped on a grenade meant for me but I can't do anything about it right now. I know I put us all in danger -- again, nothing I can do about it at the moment. I do know that when I find that bitch Belle or any of her girl-pals, I'm going upside their heads with a pool cue, though."

"Gosh," mused Iona, "I should figure out what I want on my tombstone."

"Mine is going to read 'didn't kill Rio Talon soon enough'," griped Valerie.

"Hardy-har-har," grumped Rio. "You are acting like they'll ever find our bodies."

"You annoy me," Mercy whispered to Rio before licking her ear.

"Careful, you," Rio smirked. "Ice cubes-pussy snow globe." I was thankful when I got to the door lock, entered my code, and held the door for them to head up. I tagged Valerie at the top of the stairs. She looked at me with annoyance but softened to curiosity when she saw my concern.

"Zane," Vivian called out before I got anywhere. "We need to talk." That was depressing.

"Val, I need to ask you something important. Can you please wait?" I asked the biker babe.

"Sure," she promised before heading to get a drink. I walked with Vivian into my bedroom area. At the foot of the bed was laid out a skirt, shirt, bra, panties and socks. The shoes were on the floor. The owner was no mystery.

Reclining on the pillows was Paige. She was clothed, sort of. She was decked out all in brilliant red: stockings, garter belt, silky panties, and a gauze-like bra that highlighted her pale breasts perfectly. Her flesh radiated like freshly fallen snow and her hair flowed forth from my pillow like a glacier crafted by spiders into a delicate web.

"Hey," I sighed hungrily.

"Hey," Paige responded in a rich sultry voice.

"Paige!" Vivian snapped. "How did you get past me?"

"I'm a ghost-panthress stalking my prey," Paige leered. "With the way Zane's heart is pounding, I'm doing a good job of it too."

"Get up, put on a robe, and leave the room now," Vivian insisted.

"Oh," groaned Paige as she rolled over and shook her delicious shaped bottom at me, "I'm so tired. I need someone's help in getting out of bed." Yes, I wanted to go to the bed right then, but it had nothing to do with helping Paige actually get out of that bed or that position.

"I'll take care of her," I told Vivian. I walked to a wardrobe across the room, opened it up, and took a look around inside. Vivian walked behind me and gasped.

"What are you doing with all these robes...all these women's robes, Zane?" Vivian muttered.

"I got them predicated on the notion that I would have women up here. I thought it would be considerate of me to give them a choice of what to wear," I indicated my selection.

"How did you smuggle them all in here?" Vivian wondered.

"We have mail service, Vivian. I ordered them online." She seemed confused. The university didn't block clothing sites from their computer network. I pulled out a short red one with a white and black tiger circling on the back and showed it to Paige.