Christian College Sex Comedy Ch. 20

"Oh, cool, I'll look like a Bangkok whore," Paige sounded conflicted.

"Actually, this one is from China so that would make you a White Russian Shanghai hooker," I corrected.

"Ooohhh...I like that," Paige purred as she crawled over to my side of the bed on all fours. "An impoverished Slavic Princess on the run from the sinister Godless proletariat."

I tossed her the robe and she seductively slipped it on, obviously not deterred by how short the damn piece of silk was.

"Don't even try to run away, my Siberian Siren," I wagged a finger at Paige, "your interrogation will begin," I looked at my watch, "in thirty minutes." Paige got off the bed and brushed past me as she made for the exit.

"That doesn't cover anything." Vivian protested the fact that I could see the triangle between Paige's thighs and crotch. Paige flipped up the back of the robe, exposing the entirety of her butt to us.

"Beware, Zane, the White Revolution is coming," Paige snickered.

"Oh, I'm looking forward to the White Revolution cumming again and again," I smiled.

"Lord Jesus, give me strength," Vivian prayed. I turned to her once Paige was out of sight. "Zane, I keep trying to stress that you should attempt to see your fellow female students as Christian souls and not pleasures of the flesh. Look what you've done to poor Paige. She is intelligent but frail and you are luring into a contest she cannot win."

"Why can't Paige compete as strongly as anyone else?" I quizzed Vivian.

"She's an albino," Vivian pointed out. "She simple doesn't have the strength or stamina like a normal girl."

"Vivian, I choose not to get angry at your ignorance and bigotry. Instead, I want you to listen and listen well; she has met or exceeded every expectation we have set for each other," I told her.

"It is not fair; she can't keep up with you," Vivian continued.

"You can't keep up with me sexually, Vivian," I pointed out. "Paige is above me in the mental side of sex. We are a partnership; I have no desire to dominate any of you girls...and I'd like to avoid being dominated because more than a few women here have shown the desire to tie me down."

"Zane, I want you to keep advancing toward Jesus's light, and making Paige believe she has to dress up in such a degrading fashion to please you isn't helping," Vivian said with strained patience.

"It is my fault because I am the man, and men initiate these kinds of sexually dominant relationships," I clarified.

"You said it; I didn't," Vivian deflected the argument.

"No," I shook my head, "I had the guts to say what you couldn't, Vivian. I told Paige she would look hot in that outfit but she was more than capable of deciding to actually wear it."

"You are telling me she would normally wear that to bed?" Vivian cocked her head.

"No. It is what she wears when she wants to entice me into an amorous encounter. If you want to know why she wants that, I suggest you ask her," I told Vivian.

"I think I'll do that," Vivian announced before storming out of the room. 'Thank God' I thought, because she'd be out of my hair for a few minutes.

I stepped out into the main room and beckoned Valerie.

"I'm on my last freaking nerve, Zane, so this had better be good," Valerie led off. She paced the floor while I stood close by.

"I am pretty sure one of the Warlords is an undercover agent -- most likely a federal one," I stated.

Valerie stopped and regarded me carefully.

"It is one of the six biker girls who jumped Rio, that's a given. I don't know the Warlords well enough to make a guess beyond that," Valerie ruminated. "What do you want from me?"

"Advice; I haven't a clue what to do. I'm not even 100% sure I've read the woman right," I said.

"What do you have?" Valerie drew close and very serious.

"College educated, regimented training, and an overwhelming desire to not kill Rio," I related.

"Yep, sounds like an undercover," Valerie nodded. "What do you want to happen?"

"I would kind of like Belle not to go to prison," I stated. "Her husband has turned state's evidence against the Aryan Nation and her twin sister is a cop."

"Her prison time would be rather interesting," Valerie chuckled dryly. "What's next?"

"Could we talk to the undercover and ask for a favor to make sure Belle doesn't get clobbered?" I tossed out there.

"Christ, Zane, you can't save everybody. Let this one go," Valerie advised.

Valerie and I measured each other with our eyes.

"Fine, I'll do it," she sighed. "I'll cover your back when we meet with her." She looked around. "You may have the must fucked up life of anyone I've ever even heard about. Seriously, you walk into a biker bar, get into a fight, get rescued by some biker bitches, and discover a female undercover agent in under an hour, and this just another freaking Thursday in your life."

"I live in Roswell on an Ancient Indian Burial Ground surrounded by standing stones with a resurgent herd of sasquatches roaming the county line and a perpetual injection of Girls Gone Wild," I gave a tired grin.

"That explanation works for me," Valerie allowed. "If something ever happens to you I'll take care of Rio, so don't worry."

"That's a euphemism for sneaking up behind her and snapping her neck; right?" I asked.

"Pretty much, yes," Valerie smiled. "She'll suffer less that way. The weird thing is, I'm not sure how Rio would deal if you died. She is absolutely and totally devoted to you."

"Yeah," I sighed with a desperate loneliness. "I appreciate that in her but sometimes I wish she was a little saner."

Valerie gave a worn chortle and headed for the silk screens that isolated my room.

"Don't worry too much, Zane, there are a lot of us who have become attached to you. You are not alone."

"You make it sound like you are in that number," I inquired curiously.

"I am, Zane. It isn't like I've actually had a boyfriend -- ever. Some of your girlfriends are downright wacky but Iona's opinion of you is what did it for me. As far as I can tell, she and Chastity are your only two admirers free of some kind of psychosis," Valerie joked. At least I hoped she was joking. She gave me one last smirk and headed out the door.

"Christina," I said over the phone, "how is it going?"

"Everything is fine, Zane," she responded. "What do you need?" which was followed by, "Ugh. Zane, Heaven is bent over her bed and is waggling her butt at me, and thus the phone, in what must be some arcane ritual that may have some significance to you."

"Okay, now I need two things. First, can I borrow five thousand dollars to pay off a demented motorcycle gang leader? I promise to have you paid back by the end of the month," I begged.

"Sure," she replied instantly. "Rio, I assume?" There was no sense in denying it.

"Yes, it was. Thanks. And for the second thing, would you go over to Heaven, run your fingers over the spot right above her tailbone for a few seconds and remind her I'm going to give her a severe spanking for taunting me like she is."

I heard Christina move, Heaven moan, then after some rustling Heaven really started moaning.

"Zane, you've made Heaven very happy," Christina informed me compassionately. "In fact, she likes it so much she's now humping her bed and whispering your name."

"Put the phone to her ear," I requested softly. I heard Heaven's gasps growing louder.

"Heaven, next time I'm going to tickle your tight little butt with my tongue and fingers while I stroke your penis and tongue-tease your slit," I whispered. Heaven gave a chocking sob then the phone was removed.

"Wow...I don't know what you just said but I think we have a mess to clean up now. Good night, Zane. I'll have your money at lunch," Christina said before hanging up.

I stripped down, grabbed a towel and my shower kit before heading out to the main area.

"About time," Rio announced as I came into view. "Mercy brought some handcuffs and is going to explode if she can't use them on me." Those were my handcuffs and the only one getting tied down was Mercy, but besides that, Rio was being as truthful as always.

Along with Rio and Mercy, Opal, Brandi, Paige and Iona sat around waiting on me. Vivian sat some distance away and gloomily surveyed the gathering.

"Good night," yawned Iona happily. "If things get bad, call for Vivian; she'll come and save you."

"I'll make sure no one harms him...too much," Paige purred.

"Paige, you are dressed like the cutest vampire-seductress I've ever seen but I'm skeptical you would rescue Zane without exacting some kind of payment," Iona reasoned.

"We'll..." Brandi began, indicating herself and Opal.

"Thank you, everyone," I interrupted, "but you might want to take it to the bedroom before Rio wrecks the place." Opal put a hand to the back of Brandi and Paige, steering them through the silk screens. Opal was more into aggressive action than playful banter. As they vanished, Barbie Lynn appeared, coming up the stairs with a beatific smile gracing her face.

My responding smile died as I caught sight of the person coming up behind Barbie Lynn. Barbie was confused until she figured out the angle of my gaze and turned to see Gabrielle Black hovering like a deathly specter behind her. Gabrielle slipped passed Barbie Lynn, pointed at me, then at a spot farther into my dorm space.

I gave Barbie a nod directing her to go to my bed and wait before paralleling Ms. Black. Vivian was approaching my way as well.

"No," Gabrielle commanded Vivian coolly.

"She's my guardian," I countered. "If this is school business she stays with me."

This was the point I prayed Gabrielle didn't beat me until I cried like a baby. Happily, she nodded. The three of us travelled a few more yards, then stopped when she confronted Vivian and me.

"There was an altercation at a place called the Dixie Roadhouse. Sheriff's Deputy Tara Cavanaugh contacted the Security office about it. She says that you pissed off the chapter president of the Warlords motorcycle gang, Deacon Baker. Is this correct?" Gabrielle inquired.

"Yes," I replied, "but I'm working to resolve the situation."

"How so?" Ms. Black demanded.

"I'm going by tomorrow evening and giving him five thousand dollars," I told her. Why hide it?

"You think that would suffice, Zane?" Gabrielle prodded.

"I hope so," I shrugged. "I was thinking on my feet and the alternative was getting beaten up by twenty bikers."

"Zane, what were you thinking?" Vivian snapped at me.

"He was making an incorrect assumption that what mattered in this situation was the gang's social compensation network, not the sociopathic personality that runs a criminal enterprise," Gabrielle dissected my reasoning.

"What do you want him to do?" Vivian worried.

"Zane had better not bring trouble back to this school," was all Gabrielle said before turning toward the exit and striding away. Crap, she was totally fucking hot and beyond my most irrational dreams of ever being with.

"Zane," Vivian started to lecture me, but then she abruptly changed gears. "Thank you for keeping me close to you when dealing with Ms. Black. I think that means we are making progress." Of course it is, because Vivian doesn't know that Ms. Black is essentially a killer on the run who would end my life if I threatened to expose her existence before she was ready.

My phone rang, because it wasn't like I wanted anything else at ten at night. It was E. Lister. I gamble that it is Erin from the movie with Hope and Chastity.

"Hey, Erin," I grinned.

"How's it going, stud?" she snickered.

"Well, you calling me 'stud' shows your utter lack of bedroom experience with me." Vivian frowned at my statement. "I'm more like the hammer...I do the pounding."

"Ha," she chortled, "I may get a chance to see that. Are you still up for the party Saturday night?"

"I am if you and Gerry are going to be there too," I shot back.

"Three blocks from the water tower on Hammond Street. The word is 'Comet'."

"Gotcha. What size crowd are we looking at? I wonder how much I'll blend in," I prevaricated.

"Maybe 250," Erin guessed. "We'll meet you up by the left corner of the stage at 10:30; okay?"

"It's a date," I declared happily. "Thanks, Erin."

"No problem, Zane; I'm looking forward to it," she said before hanging up.

"Do I even want to know what that is about?" Vivian sighed.

"I'm going to a block party Saturday night," I answered. "Do you want to come with?"

"No," Vivian tried to stay calm. "I'm 21 and I shouldn't go because I'm a good Christian girl; and you shouldn't go because you are 18."

"Well, we are all entitled to our opinions," I shrugged. I turned and headed toward my room, Vivian tailing along.

"Zane," Vivian called to me as we passed her sofa-bed, "is there anything I can do to convince you that having intercourse with those girls tonight is wrong?" I stopped and thought it over but nothing came to mind.

"Sorry. You want me to think of them as good Christians and I do. You want me to treat them as something more that pleasures of the flesh and I do. Having sex with a woman is a journey of exploration for me. It is like learning the Bible, then finding the Gnostic Gospels and then tacking on the Dead Sea Scrolls...the knowledge goes on and on," I explained.

"I imagine that one day my finite ability to observe will leave me nothing more to learn about a woman but I won't confuse that with the infinite amount that a woman offers. You keep telling me I have to see a woman as either spiritual or sexual. I see them as spiritual and sexual as well as academic and personable too. It seems unnatural to cut one aspect out," I continued.

"Quite frankly, I can't see how anyone who has seen a woman orgasm, or been a woman who has had an orgasm, can see it as anything except wonderful, natural, and worth repeating. Vivian, mankind doesn't need an excuse to sin; we will do it for any reason under the Sun. Blaming it on sexuality comes across to me as weak," I told her.

"If I gave in to weakness I would shame the memory of my Mother and Father, and I'm not going to do that," I finished up.

"Are you sure you don't bring a level of shame to them now?" Vivian asked softly.

"Ha," I snorted. "My Father's first piece of dating advice was to never use my real name."

"Mom told me that every time I look at a woman, I should imagine a snowflake, endless angles and gone before you can know all of her. Also, nature makes an endless supply of snowflakes so I shouldn't get too broke up when one gets away," I grinned.

"Wow," Vivian exhaled, "That is a lot to take in. I was expecting something simple like you saying that if I slept with you, you wouldn't sleep with them."

"I'd never do that, Vivian," I responded. "You should never be a substitute for another woman; no woman should."

"Would it help the situation if I came to bed with you?" Vivian postulated.

"To what end?" I inquired.

"To show you that going to bed with a woman doesn't have to involve sex," she clarified.

"Been there, done that, Vivian. I've slept with Iona and Barbie Lynn both -- sleep, no sex," I responded. "In fact, Iona is a total virgin; none of her girly-bits have been penetrated by me or anyone else." Not 100% accurate, but did fingers and tongue getting just inside the vagina really count?

"So you would respect me if we were in bed together, side by side?" Vivian pressed.

"Without a doubt," I assured her. "I have a variety of restraints you could use on me."

"What?" Vivian sounded as if she was caught off guard.

"Oh, God," I exclaimed. "Vivian, you are hot as hell and if I was next to you in bed, I would take a nibble or get the hell out because I know I would soon be past the point of self-control with you."

"Zane," Vivian persisted, "wouldn't you like..." and Rio came scampering out from behind the silk screens butt-naked.

"Bro, you had best get back there or they're going to be exploding into frustrated girlie bits all over your boudoir," Rio joked as she passed by. She turned a corner and headed for one of the ice cream freezers.

"It's been a fun chat, Vivian, but I think that is my cue to leave," I saluted her. "It is time for fun and games."

"Ugh...try and keep it down," Vivian hrumpfed.

"No promises," was all I could truthfully say and I was off.

(Much more sexual expression next chapter, I promise)