Christian College Sex Comedy Ch. 22

"Seraphina, is this what you want to do with your life? Sneaking off to bathrooms with men for sex?" Vivian whispered.

"Random men -- no; Zane -- yes. I mean, have you felt his tongue? Holy Cow, he was fantastic," Seraphina beamed back. Vivian seemed flummoxed.

"We'll get our bags and we can get out of here," I intervened. Vivian let us slip past her. Seraphina gave me a quick peck on the cheek before we left, then I joined Vivian and we left the building together.

"Vivian..." I started.

"Oh, God," Vivian groaned. "What is it now?"

"When you have kids I really think you will be a good mother," I tried to appease her.

"Get it over with, Zane, and stop trying to make me feel good about the nightmare that watching over you has become," Vivian moaned.

"I need to skip the Dining Hall to go back to my room," I broached the subject.

"Who is it this time?" Vivian asked in a deadpan voice.

"Barbie Lynn," I answered.

"I'll pick you up at 12:50," she stated. That was easy, right up to the moment I felt bad about pushing her morality so hard. I had to figure out something she wanted and get it for her.

Good, energetic sex leads to a shower unless you want to advertise your activity via body odor. Barbie Lynn and I decided that since time was an issue, we'd mix the love-making and the shower into one exercise in one of the stalls on my floor. It was certainly something new for us and a spectacular look for Barbie Lynn, with the water cascading off her breasts in two sensual rivulets. Her wet hair plastered over her head, neck, shoulders, and chest was its own kind of erotic.

Barbie Lynn's rectum was partially impaled on my cock. Her eyes were wide with hunger and happiness brought forth by our lovemaking in midstride. My hands held each heavenly buttock in a tight grip, Barbie Lynn's legs were to the side and spread wide -- thank you, Soccer flexibility training -- in a sexual 'V'. Her banged-up knee was clearly getting better.

"Please, Surrah, can I have some more?" Barbie sugar-coated her request. I let her slip down my shaft a little more until her eyes shut in ecstasy and she breathed out a pleasurable note. She'd been resting her wrists on my shoulders with her fingers extending back into my hair. Now she drew me in until we were face-to-face.

"You are so good to me, Zane, and I appreciate it," Barbie Lynn murmured. "You never give me less than 100% and I've never felt like you take me for granted."

"It is you and only you...Sarah...Cindy...Eve...ummm...help me out here," I grinned. Barbie Lynn lilted in the voice of an angel while she pressed off the glass with her upper body and leveraged down onto my penis.

I shifted one hand off an ass cheek to move it to the back of her neck and pull her face in and up to mine. She also constricted her anal muscles around my shaft, concentrating on my cockhead.

"Does this make my body more familiar to you?" she panted, our lips only inches away.

"Not as much as these eyes...these eyes of my own beautiful seraph," I whispered.

Barbie Lynn completed the kiss. Her hips rotated up slightly and mine shifted lower and under so that my penetration reached deep inside. For thirty seconds we kept the tender kiss going before she had to break free.

"Oh, Jesus, Zane...this feels so good...I can't...oh, Lord Jesus," she gasped out as I shifted out, then back in rhythmically.

"More time...I want more time with you, Zane," Barbie Lynn panted with a heavy breath.

"We have tests this afternoon and Vivian is waiting," I shook my head in disappointment. Fierce passion engulfed both of us. Clearly, I got my money's worth from the contractor who had installed the shower because the glass wall didn't give way despite our enthusiasm.

"Lord Jesus loves...," Barbie Lynn screamed across campus. Her arms locked my head and shoulders in place, her face grinding into my chest. Her torso desperately tried to impale her hole deeper onto my rod. Her scream degenerated to an uncontrolled growling against me while I kept her back to the glass and up against my body.

"Zane, I know I've been really needy today but you've been so kind and understanding, and I appreciate you putting up with me the kind way you have," Barbie Lynn snuggled into me. "You are the best."

That's what I wanted to talk to Barbie Lynn about, taking me for granted and using me like a sex toy. Boy, I just saved myself from acting like a total ass!

"Babe, you are better than I deserve." I kissed her neck as I lowered her legs down to the tiled floor. "If I ever take you for granted, promise me you'll kiss me, rub your body against me front and back, and then walk away. I guarantee you I'll fall on my knees and beg for forgiveness."

"I like it when you beg," she said with a glimmer in her eye.

"Why am I being nice to you again?" I teased. Barbie Lynn simply let her eyes go wide and innocent with a cute little smile on her face. "Oh, yeah," I whistled, "you give me hope, happiness, and warmth in good times and bad."

"My body has nothing to do with it?" she questioned in a coquettish fashion.

"It's passable," I shrugged as I cut the water off, "but I hope you will fill out one day -- you know, quit the training bra and become a little more womanly." Mind you, Barbie Lynn hadn't seen a training bra in ten years. Hourglasses went to Barbie for lessons on how they should be shaped and her butt was the perfect balance between fantasy cheerleader and soccer girl.

"Thank you for spending time with someone as poorly endowed as me," she purred.

"I admit that I'm holding out for Dr. Burns. He's got it going on," I struggled to say convincingly. Barbie Lynn fought valiantly to hold back her reaction to the thought of seeing our over-70-year-old male Biology teacher in any sexual manner.

"Burns without his clothes on is an image I could have forever gone without," she shuddered.

"Gosh, I value you more than my own personal desires so I guess I'm stuck with you, Barbie Lynn," I sighed playfully.

"Would you two get out of the shower!" barked Vivian. She was sitting in a chair in the main room.

We stepped out of the shower, grabbed the waiting towels, and began drying each other off. Vivian surprised me by keeping a somewhat detached eye on the two of us. Maybe she wanted to make sure Barbie Lynn and I didn't turn drying into fondling, thus ending up with us rolling on the tiled floor. The floor would be uncomfortable but having hot, sweaty Barbie Lynn flesh pressing into me...I put this on my 'to do' list.

We quickly got dressed and moved to where Vivian was standing and waiting. It wasn't until we were making our way to the elevator that Vivian spoke.

"Barbie Lynn, would you take the elevator? Zane and I need to take the stairs," she said.

"Sure thing, Vivian," Barbie Lynn smiled. She stepped up to me and kissed me on the lips. "I'll see ya Sunday night, slugger."

"I kinda, sorta have a standing date with Heaven," I cautioned her, "so if you come by, be careful." I didn't miss Vivian rolling her eyes in exasperation. The elevator came and took Barbie Lynn away. I waved Vivian to the stairwell, held the door for her, and together we went down.

"What are we going to do?" I broke the insufferable silence.

"What do you mean?" Vivian evaded.

"Damn it!" I snapped. Since I stopped moving, Vivian decided to stop too.

"Yes?" she looked to me with what I was learning to read was a disarming friendliness.

"I want to make you happy but I don't want to change, Vivian," I grumbled. "So, what are we going to do?"

"How much of your time and energy are you willing to devote to Christ?" she countered. I had to think that over. Monday was no good; it was Recovery night. Tuesday was 'make it up to the girls' night. Wednesday was Specialty Night, Thursday...that was no good; it was Orgy Night. Friday was first date night, Saturday was SYFY/Party night and Sunday was second-date night.

"I am on a committee at Church on Wednesday nights and I go to both Sunday school and Church service on Sundays," I offered. "Isn't that enough religious stuff?"

"Zane, do you have sex at Church?" Vivian pierced me with her eyes. I was so boned because while I was preparing some sort of verbal obfuscation, Vivian sighed and looked down at the stairs.

"Why do I even bother?" she moaned with despair. She looked up at me, clearly in pain, "It is a Church, Zane. Doesn't that mean anything to you? Because it definitely means something to me."

"Vivian, it is a building, made of stained glass, brick, stone, and lumber," I responded heatedly, "and I don't need any of those to be in God's presence."

"It was sex in a church," Vivian nearly screamed. "Come on, now, do you respect anything at all?"

"You are right, I don't respect a building simply because someone declares it to be holy. I don't recall my vote being consulted. I don't respect people who bully with scripture but won't study the original Greek and Latin texts it was written in to learn what was really said. I don't respect anyone who refuses to think for themselves and listens to some two-bit liar like Pastor William."

"He is your pastor," Vivian growled back. "He deserves..."

"Nothing," I snapped. "He's an adulterer, and I've seen it with my own two eyes so don't you dare lecture me on him. If you defend him, it is only because you don't know shit about him."

Vivian glared at me but I could see she was trying to see if I was making stuff up.

"I respect you, Vivian, and that's no lie," I continued. "Since our fight I haven't a clue what to do with you but I have respected you. You believe in give and take; you believe in consequences and redemption. The only other person I've met like you is Iona. I trust Iona with more than my life; I trust her with Rio's."

"Right now you are pissing the hell out of me, but that doesn't change the fact that I trust you and respect you," I added. "I don't need someone with spiritual authority to tell me what to do; my heart does that for me."

"Zane, it is the constant sex," Vivian groaned. "I thought I could take it but it never seems to slow down with you." I had to think that over.

"Vivian, you can't confuse love and sex," I insisted. "You are in love with your boyfriend and you two have been through some rough patches and survived. Sex without passion is masturbation, Vivian. If you are ever tempted, fall back on your love for that man because when you love something, there is nothing you will let stand in your way."

I could see the turn in the argument defused some of Vivian's wrath and sent her mind down different pathways.

"Okay, then why is it okay for you to have sex without love?" Vivian said as we resumed our progress downstairs.

"I love in different ways, Vivian. I love Iona and Rio as best friends -- there is nothing I wouldn't do for them. I love Heaven and Paige because they do for me things that make me want to do for them right back. I love Brandi and Opal because they are fun and they give me the space to be me. I love Barbie Lynn...well, just because it feels natural and right. Christina...Christina, I will always love without cause or reason. I love her," I related.

"If Christina asked you to stop seeing all those other women, would you?" Vivian asked with a glimmer of hope.

"I don't know. Our pseudo-agreement lets me have my college years to go wild before I give it all up to be a good husband and father," I replied. "Are you thinking of going to Christina and asking for her help with me?"

"Yes. Yes, I am," Vivian told me.

"The only problem with that plan is that it requires Christina to declare her feelings toward me and make a commitment about what she wants to do with me," I pointed out. "Good luck with that."

We hit the bottom of the stairs at a run and raced through the halls and doors on our way to the Dining Hall. We found Christina and company waiting outside for us when we got there.

Christian handed a thick envelope over -- my bribe to Deacon of the Warlord's motorcycle gang.

"Heaven, date night Sunday? I've found a theater playing Hugo," I asked my fox-faced girl.

"What? You think you can ask me out on Friday for a date on Sunday? What kind of girl do you think I am?" she growled.

"Heaven, you weren't here for most of the week, and you have to admit the world had gone crazy. Come on, Babe," I pleaded.

"I'll have to think about it," Heaven grumbled. Behind her back all her other friends were stifling their grins. All those grins fell behind impassive masks when Heaven turned around facing them and stomped back and forth.

"What's the problem, Heaven?" Hope asked.

"Barbie Lynn comes skipping across the yard from her dorm with a smile that outshines the Sun..." Heaven began.

"She said she's been doing intensive physical therapy," Christina interrupted. Yay! I've graduated to being considered exercise equipment.

"Harrumph," Heaven grunted. "How come his hair is wet? Besides, he's taking another girl home for the weekend."

"It's Iona," Chastity explained. "Think about how wound up he's going to be by Sunday evening, because you know he's not going to do anything Iona's uncomfortable with."

"Yes," added Faith, "he'll be ready to knock 'em out of the ballpark after a whole weekend of physical denial. Maybe you shouldn't go out with him; he's probably going to be pretty fierce." Heaven glared at all her friends before turning on me.

"Fine, I'll go out with you, but if I can still walk by curfew, you had better know I'm going to make next week hell for you. Are we clear?" Heaven threatened.

"Is that all Zane is to you, a sexual release valve?" Vivian gasped before I could answer Heaven. "You are making light of a serious moral struggle for him."

"Vivian, Zane was the first man to tell me he loved me and I've believed," Christina said.

"He saved me from a fight and academic troubles by putting his body on the line," Chastity added.

"Me too," continued Hope.

"He pretty much saved my life," Faith chimed in, which oddly twisted back to ruining her life with Christina and company when I exposed her as the Chancellor's spy. Maybe the girls had made up somehow.

"He's put up with more of my crap than I care to get into. He loves me for who I am, and he's my lover and boyfriend," Heaven clarified. "If you spent one night with Zane making love, you would know I'm more of an addict than anything else. It is just that I get...grumpy when he's not around every minute of every day."

Everyone's eyes sort of gravitated toward me.

"You are all great women but I have to go to class," I grinned, then took off. Vivian raced to catch up with me.

"Do you have commitment issues?" she panted beside me.

"No. I was getting hard. All that feminine compassion directed my way was getting me sexually aroused and they were all staring at my crotch," I explained. "I figured running away was the best resolution for what was coming down the pipeline."

"Have you ever considered chemical castration?" Vivian asked.

WHAT?

The last quarter of the school day went rather well, considering I had to juggle balls once between classs. (Apparently I resemble a dancing bear or something.) My second chore required me to bounce a soccer ball on my knees for a trip to the soccer field. Considering some of the crap I've had to do here, I almost volunteered to do it walking backwards.

Karate started out so surprisingly normal (not my normal, but normal-normal), I should have known better. We had barely finished warming up and stretching when Gabrielle Black walked into the room. She stood against the far wall poised for our dispersal into teams. When first team knelt and waited for Coach Gorman's instructions for today, Gabrielle made her approach.

"Coach Gorman, we seem to have had some difficulty connecting so I decided this would be the best place to meet," Gabrielle said in a deceptively upbeat manner.

"I'm teaching a class," Gorman replied deadpan. "I teach several classes. I guess that makes me a teacher. In fact, I'm teaching right now -- get lost."

"I'd rather not." Gabrielle gave her deadliest smile. "Care to make me?" They really need to start psychological testing of the staff at FFU, or at least stop giving them daily doses of testosterone.

"Since reason and rationality have clearly avoided you like the plague," Gorman growled, "why don't you tell me what you have in mind?"

"A little sparing match," Gabrielle suggested.

"So you really need to see if you can kick my ass, or is it just that you have to be Alpha bitch?" Gorman countered. Several of the more religious-minded students gasped, but they didn't realize this wasn't a game.

Someone needed to do something, and of course it had to be me. I didn't very well have the time to overdose Rio with caffeine and throw her at Gabrielle. Besides, I am sure that's a war crime.

"Me first!" I declared as I broke free of my second-team circle and walked toward the two adults. This was the point where I expected one or both of the women to tell me to butt out, mind my own business, I'm stupid, or something.

Gabrielle stepped back and stripped off her jacket and slipped off each boot. I figured that since I was about to die, I'd best get rid of my gi; that way they'd have something to drape over my lifeless eyes.

"Zane, what are you doing?" Cappadocia belatedly hissed at me.

"Eh, you know, sometimes a woman has to be put in her place," I joked. It wasn't like Gabrielle was going to take it easy on me in the first place. Several girls laughed at what they were sure was levity on my part. You see, I was about to become a legend. Unfortunately, it was the legend of Don Quixote -- damn fucking windmills dressed in tight black form-fitting outfits.

To the credit of my limited intellect, I approached this fight with a totally different philosophy than any I'd faced before. I discarded every tenet of Thai kick-boxing (except the one that says never do anything that will make the lady-boys mock you). I went completely defensive, abandoning any hope of striking Gabrielle. I figured if such an opportunity presented itself, it would only be a trap.

It took Gabrielle about two seconds to unravel my master plan, then she was on me like a fart in an airplane bathroom -- choking the life out of you with nowhere to run. Because I am such a badass, it took Gabrielle eight more seconds to land a telling blow. I staggered back but instead of coming at me, she shifted to my side. Since I had my arms up to defend my head, she was slipping out of my field of vision. There was an added bonus; I discovered I couldn't hear her move over the mats.

I somersaulted in the other direction which bought me a few more seconds, but I never regained my feet. Once more she opted to shift to my flank than come head-on. A man on his knees cannot out-turn a woman on her feet. I caught her knee in my shoulder, propelling me face-first into the mat. I tried to turn with the blow so I could keep eyes on her.

Gabrielle slammed into my shoulder blade and I slapped the mat hard. I pressed up with my arms but Gabrielle was on my back so fast I might as well have been standing still. For a second our legs struggled as she tried to put me into a leg lock. Then her body rolled over on me and drove three fingers into my spine right above the coccyx. Blinding pain exploded over my body and I screamed.

I wasn't paralyzed but I didn't need to be; I was in too much God-damn pain. Gabrielle's body was tight against my back. One hand cupped my chin and the other was placed on the back of my skull. She gave my head a quarter-twist.

"You are dead," she whispered. Technically, she would have merely snapped my spine at the base of my skull. My cells would have struggled on for a few more minutes but that hardly seemed to be the point.