Christie's College Funding Plan


He started to talk, but she interrupted and held up her iPhone. “Mom is about four minutes away. I’m throwing a swimsuit on and hitting the pool. You get your ass in the shower now and get that oil off of you. If you tell her anything, and, I mean anything, other than you have had a change of heart and want to pay for my college, then I’ll edit these comments that you just made about her and play them for her.”

His eyes widened, and she realized that he didn’t know until then that she had recorded him.

“Yes, I recorded it all,” she clarified,”And if you don’t want to lose half of what you have left in divorce court, you’ll keep your mouth shut.”

He started to say something, and it occurred to her that she might have been too harsh; she thought that she should now give some carrot, not just the stick.

“Listen, William,” she said her tones back to being sweet, “Just tell her you decided to do this for my college, and she’ll be grateful. You’re a smart guy; you can parlay your generosity into great sex with her for years.”

She was now dressed and unlocking his ankles. She moved up and unlocked his arms. As they came free, William grabbed for the phone.

“Don’t be stupid, William, the stuff is recorded and kept in the cloud; I can access it from anywhere,” she explained.

As the sound of her mother opening the front door was heard, Christie pointed to the shower and William ran to it.

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