Christmas Cracker

Turning back to face him just as he caught her in his arms, they both stepped back into the heated jets of water coming from the several shower nozzles above them. Her wild hair was quickly matted down against her head, covering her eyes and making her laugh with delight before she wiped it clear with her fingers. It wasn't a moment too soon, as Wendall's strong arms swept her up to push her back against the wall. The cool marble pressed to her bare shoulders and rump, and her legs lifted to wrap about his thick belly.

Their mouths came together with the taste of hungry lips flavoured with the raw desire each felt for the other. It didn't take long before their tongues were beginning a dance of their own as they indulged in the sensation of their naked bodies finally pulled tightly together. Between her legs, she felt his large Christmas log pulsing with excitement. As he pressed her to the wall, the length slid up between her legs against the marble and between the tight cheeks of her ass.

They necked like newlyweds beneath the hot flow of water, and savoured each touch. Her hands caressed up along his powerful biceps, feeling the waves of newly formed muscle hardening as he pulled her tighter against him. The light scent of fresh cinnamon amidst the vaporous air was savoured by the large male, and it wasn't long before he caught the sweet scent of her pussy rising up between them.

His hand stroked its way up along her back, using the water to slide up between her and the wall. Finding the wet tresses of her hair, he wrapped his fingers in amongst them and gently pulled. Their kiss broke, and she stubbornly extended her tongue to lick across his lips openly inviting more of it. The lewd sensation drove him half mad with passion, but his resolve firmed up almost as much as his erection and finally the kiss ended. They remained clinging tightly to each other under the water spray, and as he caught his breath he saw a naughty and indulgent smile form on her pretty features.

"I really like it when you're rough with me, Santa. Is it Santa now? Or should I still call you Wendall? Would Santa or Wendall, whoever's at home right now, please pull my hair a little harder and stick that big cock in my tight pussy?" She licked the taste of him from her own lips before nibbling on the lower one.

"After that you can call me whatever the hell you feel like." He was still catching his breath.

"Ok then, Pubert Wibblebottom it is." She nodded along with him and then smiled at the laugh she brought from deep within his chest. "Care to fuck your elf, Pubert?"

"Not here. Not now." He shook his head.

"Why not?"

"Because I like you."

Her brow furrowed at that. "That doesn't make any sense."

"I like you, Callie. I like you a lot. You crashed into my life and made me laugh when I thought I'd never laugh again. Feel this." He released his grip in her hair and caught her wrist to bring her hand to settle over his chest. There, she felt the thunder of his heart coming strong and fast beneath her touch. Given her history with overenthusiastic hearts and Santa's she yelped in fear.

"Yikes! Oh, man. You're not going to die on me, are you?" she asked, lifting both her hands and cradling his bearded cheeks between them.

"No, why ever would you say that? I was trying to show you how fast my heart beats when I'm with you."

"Well then tell it to slow the fuck down! I'm not dropping another one in less than a month!" She looked accusingly at his chest.

"Another what? Another me? Oh, you mean the other Santa?"

"Yes, the other Santa!" She started to wiggle in his arms and he immediately set her feet back down on the floor so she could step away from him. Lifting both her arms to wrap around herself, she seemed oddly troubled given the circumstances. "He died when he was with me. That's why I was the one that had to come get you."

"Oh." Wendall nodded, his cock wilting slightly at the thought she'd just presented him with. "Were you two...?"

"Yeah." She nodded, looking back to him somewhat self-consciously. "Well, I wasn't involved all that much. I bent over the table for him and slipped down my tights. Then after he got started I kinda zoned out for a bit and started thinking about how I was going to decorate my tree this year. Like I said, he wasn't exactly talented when it came to fucking. He was just... industrious. Then just as he started grunting up a storm, he made this noise that sounded a little like he was about to take a crap before he fell back clutching his chest. I think he was dead when he hit the floor. Scared the living fairy-lights out of me!"

"I imagine it would!" Concerned, Wendall stepped forward and put his hands upon her bare shoulders before gently pulling her to his chest in a comforting hug. It was a full half-second before he felt her arms lift up and settle around him.

"Thanks, Wendall."

"Glad we got over Pubert quickly."

He heard a somewhat stifled laugh before he felt her teeth lightly bite his nipple.

"Ow! Hey!" He rubbed the reddened area a few times whilst she lifted her head to grin up at him devilishly. "So, I can die then?"

"Hell yeah!" Her expression shifted and she nodded with concern. "You're a heck of a lot harder to kill, and you could manage to live forever. You can use magic to get past a lot of things that would have most people pushing up daisies. Still, if you're dumb enough to drink a river of liquor and eat nothing but pastries then sooner or later your arteries will just surrender like anyone else's would."

"Good tip." He nodded. "Make sure I get a salad once in a while, and plenty of exercise."

She sighed mournfully. "I've been working on getting you exercising but it sure ain't easy. My incentives aren't working as well as I hoped."

"Your incentives are working pretty fucking spectacularly. Trust me."

That brought a bright smile back to her features.

"Ok then," he continued. "Do you know what can make someone's heart beat faster that doesn't involve an imminent coronary?"

"Chocolate?"

"No." He blinked. "Well, maybe if you really like chocolate."

She nodded in the affirmative. "But there's no chocolate here right now, despite my suggestion to have the melted stuff pumped up through the shower heads."

"That sounds like it would result in a hell of a lot of serious chocolate scaldings."

"I don't care! Fondue me, baby." She winked up at him and got the hearty laugh that she loved to hear.

"I'll consider it." He licked his lips at the idea of a chocolate covered elf and the potential that had. "But," He lifted her hand back to plant a loving kiss on her fingertips before settling her touch on his broad chest again. "My heart is beating faster because I really like you. When I woke up this morning, I thought that yesterday had been a dream. I was scared to open my eyes, and I thought about your face as hard as I possibly could because I didn't want to let you go. Then there you were again. My very own little Christmas miracle."

He leaned in and she eagerly lifted herself to her tiptoes to kiss him, her fingers slipping through his white hair and a small moan rising through her throat. The kiss came and went in a perfect wave of open affection.

"Watch who you're calling little there, longshanks." Her eyes remained closed, though she smiled dreamily up at him whilst savouring the tingle that remained on her lips.

"Alright then, my very own vertically challenged Christmas miracle. My point is that when I finally do have you, and I fully intend to, I'd rather it not be like this. Not in this place that has so much of the one that came before me left in it. I'd like it to be ours, and ours alone. To put it another way, although I desperately do want to fuck you right here and right now, I'd rather make love to you first."

Her eyes opened, and glistened with her delight at hearing that desire spoken so honestly.

"I guess I'm ok with that." She nodded, unable to keep the smile from the corners of her mouth. "Blowjobs are still ok though, right?"

He pretended to think about that for a moment, stroking his wet beard as he did so before giving a quick nod. "Yes, I'd say blowjobs are encouraged."

"Brilliant!" The smile turned into a bright grin. "In that case, I'll be right back. There's someone hanging around between your legs that I've gotta introduce to my tonsils."

Wendall nodded with seemingly infinite understanding. "I see, well take your time then. After that I think we can both go find breakfast, I already know what I'm having." He licked his lips in a manner that made it explicitly clear.

"Pretty sure it'll come with extra sauce this morning," She said whilst dropping down to her knees and using both hands to fondly caress the engorged cock rising up to greet her.

"See that it does," he ordered. Then he closed his eyes and enjoyed the sensation of her lips wrapping around his bulbous helmet as the water continued to cascade down over them both.

* * * * *

There wasn't really all that much time for Wendall and Callie to be alone over the next few days. At least not to the degree where they could devote a proper amount of attention to each other without being interrupted by elves needing instructions or assistance. Callie spent most of her time working over the list and the request letters alongside the captain Wendall had assigned the job to. She effectively became his second in command when he wasn't available at the grotto, and handled the job with remarkable efficiency. So good was her skill in those matters that he was freed up to go out into the workshops and warehouses to oversee production.

It took the elves a while to get used to the new routine, and they occasionally needed to be reminded that they could rest when they liked. Their new boss was always graciously received, and every time Wendall walked out onto the workshop floors the elves would immediately redouble their efforts. Some had to be dragged away from their posts by Elven Resources to get some rest. After a few days it became clear that resting actually allowed them to work much faster than they had been doing. Sleep restored their own natural magic, and gave them a supernatural swiftness and strength that drastically increased overall production.

With the elves taking care of business, Wendall initially spent most of his time getting to know the vast underground world he'd inherited.

At least he looked more the part now. His old suit no longer seemed to fit his new bulkier frame so he'd adorned himself with a set of green silken pyjamas, some fluffy brown slippers and a deep red dressing gown lined with white fur. When he asked the elf who presented him with these gifts where the fur came from, she told him it was from a polar bear. Aghast, Wendall had pushed the dressing gown aside and demanded that they use fake fur instead. The confused elf informed him that although he was the boss, not using the polar bear fur would deeply hurt the feelings the bear who'd grown it specially to be sheared for the garment. Apparently his name was Snowy and he worked in the Transport and Delivery department.

After hearing about that, Wendall had worn the dressing gown and decided not to ask so many questions in future.

Not that there wasn't plenty for him to do. His mornings were spent checking up on the evening's activities, and addressing any problems that needed to be brought to his attention. That was usually a task he did with Callie through their breakfast before they parted ways with a kiss at the door and he went out into the workshops to hear reports from the captains, and to plot out their next move in getting ready for the big night.

With six days to go, he found himself in the stables having an argument with Donner and Blitzen. They weren't difficult to spot as each of the pair wore a single golden thunderbolt hanging from a piece of thin red cloth. The small jewels each hung on one of their antlers like earrings.

"I'm just saying we could lower our flight path and let the people below catch a little glimpse of us here and there. It doesn't need to be an entirely stealth mission, you know." Wendall had his arms folded across his chest as he looked down over the two reindeer.

"And all we're saying," said Blitzen through gritted teeth, "is that if most of these countries we fly over see an unidentified flying object in their airspace in this day and age we might end up with a couple of F-16s checking out our asses. I've told you, boss. Dasher and Comet are our speed freaks, Cupid and Vixen keep an eye on our magic reserves, Prancer and Dancer are aerial manoeuvres and we're in charge of making sure some asshole doesn't blow us out of the fucking sky. Please let us do our job, sir. Unless you wanna spend this year giving out free venison, courtesy of an air-to-air missile."

"No, that's not..." Wendall paused and took a deep breath to steady his growing temper at the frustrating beasts. Then an idea occurred to him. "What if we did have authority to be there?"

"How do you mean?" Donner gave her antlers an inquisitive tilt.

"Elina! She's been out there with her guys stirring up the spirit of the season for weeks now. We could have her team use some of those giant piles of money the last guy made to stage some shows on Christmas Eve. Let local airports know that they're doing a magic trick and might get a ping on the radar from it. That way everyone gets to see us doing our thing, and we don't get tagged as targets. If we play it right then it could be a big event, and I bet seeing you lot riding across the sky will make a lot of people happy."

"Hmm..." Blitzen looked questioningly to his partner.

"If it's worked right, then we might be able to swing that." Donner nodded.

"Great! I'll put you in touch with Elina tonight. She's coming back up here to give her weekly report." Wendall clapped his large hands together with excitement. "I'll just-"

"Excuse me, sir?" A wavering voice called to him from nearby.

Wendall turned from the reindeer to look over to see an elf he recognised, though he couldn't immediately recall where he'd seen him before. Lifting a finger to ask for one moment, he looked back to his reindeer.

"Let's put this into motion then if we can. I'd like a solid outline of a plan in place by the end of the day tomorrow."

"Yes, sir!" Both reindeer chimed, clipping their hooves together in a respectful salute.

Encouraged by their enthusiasm, Wendall nodded and turned back to the elf only to see that he'd apparently vanished. Where had he seen the guy before? Just as he was racking his brains trying to remember, he caught sight of a familiar pointed hat disappearing around the corner to the stable entrance.

"Hey! Wait up!"

Wendall ran across the enormous domed room. By now he could really cover ground for a guy that seemingly weighed more than a small oak tree. Apparently the natural build of Santa Claus wasn't the tubby fellow seen on many Christmas cards but rather more along the lines of, as his grandmother would have said: a brick shit house.

He quickly found himself at the entrance to the stables and stopped another passing elf who was hauling a stack of fresh straw inside.

"Hey, have you seen a little guy come past here recently?" Wendall asked.

"Are you serious, sir?" the elf looked up from his stack of straw to loft a brow in Santa's direction.

"Oh, right. Guess that covers about half the population down here, huh?" he stroked his thick, white beard. "He was blonde. I remember him from somewhere. Seemed like he wanted to ask me something important."

"Oh yeah, that was Murty. He was hanging around out here a while trying to pluck up the courage to go in and see you."

"Murty? Name doesn't ring a bell. Sorry, I'm still trying to get to know everyone. Is he ok?"

"Buggered if I know." The elf shrugged his shoulders before remembering who he was talking to and quickly adding: "Sir."

"Right. I'll go find him then. Thanks."

"Not a problem, sir. Keep up the good work. Red suits you." He continued carrying the straw on into the stables, and Wendall went on to pursue Murty.

It wasn't difficult to find him by asking around. Even though there were thousands of elves, most of them had existed together for well over a thousand years and everyone seemed to know everyone else. Wendall eventually discovered Murty down amongst the early arrivals of one of Elina's missions. He was unpacking the saddle of a large polar bear who was happily in the process of eating a great deal of fish from a bucket provided by another elf.

Wendall hadn't really had much of a chance to get down to Travel and Delivery despite visiting it when Callie had given him his first guided tour. It was mostly filled with the elves under Elina's command prepping for or returning from excursions to spread Christmas spirit. He'd noticed that she'd taken many of the elves from the previous Santa's idea of a marketing team. The stunningly attractive ones, in other words.

It was then that he remembered where he'd seen Murty before. He'd been with Elina's troupe, leaving the grotto shortly after Wendall had removed the previous Santa's harem.

Wendall's presence in the department was quickly noted. The place suddenly got very quiet and the elves present hopped to attention.

"It's alright everyone!" He called out with a booming voice that seemed to get jollier by the day. "I'm just after Murty, here."

The elves seemed to accept that and got back to busying themselves and their polar bears for work. It had occurred to Wendall that they might be flying polar bears, but he hadn't yet been able to properly ask.

Murty was standing beside his bear, with his knees almost knocking together as he saw the big man step forward toward him.

"Are you alright?" Wendall asked.

"Y-yes, sir!" the elf's voice sounded unnaturally high pitched.

"Is something the matter? You seem quite a bit on edge. Don't fear. I'm not going to bite your head off."

"I just wanted to ask you something, sir."

"Alright then." Wendall nodded expectantly, but nothing happened as Murty fell quiet. "Well... Spit it out!"

"Sorry, sir! Would it... I wonder if it'd be ok to speak to you in private?"

"Of course!" Wendall nodded with a compassionate smile. "Walk with me."

Murty finished relieving the polar bear of his saddle quickly before rushing over to Wendall's side and they both headed on back upstairs. They found some relative privacy in a small empty office in an upper administration section. It suited their purposes far better than a long walk back to the grotto.

"Now then," Wendall settled in behind the small desk, looking like a giant in the furniture built so obviously for an elf. "What's bothering you, Murty?"

The elf took a seat in the chair on the other side of the desk and twiddled his thumbs for a few moments before finally finding the right words.

"Sir, I was one of the elves who used to work inside the grotto," he explained.

An understanding nod greeted the explanation.

"Yes, I remembered your face. Don't worry, that's in the past now. Awful bloody business, wasn't it?"

The question looked like it strained something inside Murty's chest, and he winced slightly.

"It wasn't exactly how we'd have preferred it, sir." The elf took a deep breath then and closed his eyes before laying it out on the table. "But I'm afraid the cat's out of the bag now."

"Pardon?" Wendall tilted his head slightly, trying to understand.

"Sex, sir. We were mostly ignorant about it before the last big man came along. We don't exactly need it to propagate the species or nothin', see? Our efforts all went into our work, except for those who have been Mrs. Claus, and of course they don't last long after their husband's gone."

"I see, I suppose it must... Wait, what? Why doesn't Mrs. Claus last long after her husband's gone?"