Christmas in Zonei Pt. 06

He gasped with the weird combination of physical pleasure and emotional pain, overwhelmed by the intensity. Kim's body slowly relaxed as he let go of his tension. He trembled slightly under Raeden's hands and Raeden's mind retreated into its own space again. He laid his head on Kim's belly and waited for his breathing to return to normal.

He felt Kim's fingers in his short hair, playing with it. Kim was happy. Sated. He could feel that. A comforting warmth settle in his chest.

"Raeden?" Kim's voice sounded uncertain. "Are you okay?"

Raeden propped himself up on his elbows to look at Kim.

"You're crying!" Kim cried in distress.

"I'm fine, Kim. Really. It was good. Amazing, actually."

"I'm sorry—"

Raeden silenced Kim with gentle fingers on his lips. "Nothing to be sorry about. I wanted to. I enjoyed it."

"But ... I can't do the same for you."

Kim was upset about that; Raeden could feel it. And that's when it hit him: he would need to leave. Kim deserved someone who was whole. Someone who could share equally in their lovemaking. He didn't need half a man, a burned out shell who couldn't reciprocate his passions. The sooner he left, the better it would be for Kim.

That thought caused him to shut down. He had to lock away his emotions or he'd never make it out of Kim's unit. He would destroy himself first. He moved up and settled in behind Kim, pulling the younger man against his chest. He could feel Kim's worry for him. It was strange that he could suddenly feel Kim's emotions so well.

"Shhh, Little One. It's okay. Everything will be okay." He couldn't help comforting Kim, and the younger man buried his concerns and snuggled happily back into his arms.

Raeden kissed his hair tenderly. It was wonderful to hold Kim, but it couldn't last. Things wouldn't be okay. Lyzel was gone and things would never be okay again.