Churning Butter

***

The headlines read, "Full Moon Rapist Kills Self When Confronted by Police." The picture with the story was of Detectives Katrina Ecstranger and Melvin Beckermann who, according to the story, were acting on a tip given by Harvey O'Brien, former owner of Clancey's Pub.

The story went on to say that it was brilliant police work which tracked down the suspect from the sketchy tip given by the bar owner. Still, Mr. O'Brien received one half of the 1.3 million dollar reward money and intended to retire to Florida. Detectives Ecstranger and Beckermann were going to be on temporary assignment with a special anti-terrorist unit which was investigating illegal aliens living among us.

Detective Ecstranger, known to her fellow officers as "the cat" for being able to sniff out clues in difficult cases said, "You have to draw the line somewhere. Otherwise who knows where these people might come from. There are some pretty strange places out there with cultures and practices very different from our own. If they arrive properly and can adjust to our culture, fine, but if not, then there can be a real problem and we have to step in."

The reporters were not sure what her partner found overwhelmingly funny in her statement.

When Mel and Kat returned to the precinct four months later, it was explained that they would have to maintain some of the cover aspects of their previous assignment, which included living together as man and wife. Many eyebrows were raised, however, especially when it became apparent that Mel seemed very happy with the whole arrangement.

One thing did really catch the attention of their fellow officers, though. When they returned, both Kat and Mel put electronic countdown clocks on the corner of their desks counting off years, months, and days to something. Both were set to 40 years, 7 months, and 3 days.

When asked about then, Mel and Kat would explain that date was when the true nature of their assignment could be made public. One of the other detectives said, "No secret can stay hidden that long. Somebody will figure it out."

Kat responded, "Not unless they see me naked."

Mel added, "And trust me, that ain't never gonna happen."

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END OF STORY

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