Claimed by a Goo Girl Ch. 01

I ached when I finally woke up to a nasty smell permeating my nostrils. What's that coming from? Oh yeah. That would be me. I was a little twitchy as I set about the unpleasant task of cleaning up the mess. Using a wet washcloth I wiped away as much filth as I could. Taking all my soiled clothing, I tied it off in a trash bag and took my bag of shame to the dumpster. As I walked back to my room a flash of blue from down the hallway had me plastered to the wall. My heartbeat skyrocketed to a million miles an hour as a man with a blue shirt unlocked his door and entered his room.

Hypervigilant, I crept back to my room and curled onto my two person couch. I hugged my knees to my chest as my eyes darted around the room constantly seeing motion out of the corner of my eye. My skin feels like a prison. Again. I stayed that way for hours before finally drifting into an uneasy sleep, clutching a pillow to my chest.

The next day I discovered a litany of new phobias. Sinks, showers, toilets, the colors blue and yellow were the main ones. I could never settle my mind it felt like it was running in every direction and I couldn't corral enough thoughts to rationalize anything close a coherent plan. I tried to go a dining room to eat but it felt like every person saw my weakness and shame. I stopped leaving my room, turns out you don't need to use the bathroom if you don't eat or drink anything.

I lasted two days.

I contemplated the silver edge of the scissors critically in the dim, artificial light of my room. I had always thought that suicide was a long term solution to a short term problem.

Things change. The scissors felt unnaturally heavy in my quaking hand.

Guess you were right Dad. I really did need toughening up.

I closed my eyes as I brought the blade across my wrist in a swift tug. I felt my flesh part against the edge but there was a strange absence of pain. I opened my eyes and was confronted with the genesis of my current troubles. She had gone through another color change, evidently lime green was the flavor of the day. I scrambled as far away from her as I could and curled up in the corner, hugging my knees to my chest.

"Too late. Soon you won't be able to get me again," my quavering voice betraying the fear I still felt in spite of my words.

"I never wanted to 'get you.' I just..." she sucked in a deep breath. "I just, didn't want to lose you. So I made you more resilient the only way I knew," her voice cracked and broke.

I was surprised the pain hadn't hit me yet so I snuck a glance at my wrist. The last vestiges of pink flesh disappeared into a smooth unblemished skin before my eyes. Evidently she had done something to me while she was rummaging around inside me. I was no longer completely human and was thus denied my only way out of this fractured existence. Hey god? If you're there, if you exist, my life's broken, can I get a refund? My silent plea to the heavens went unanswered and I turned back to the green girl.

"Congratulations. You've cut off all avenues of escape. You win. Yay." The sarcasm overpowered the fear for a second, but my eyes darted wildly around the room. I wonder if bones would heal, is four stories enough to shatter a skull and break a spine? I shifted my feet under me, contemplating a mad dash out the window.

"Please let me help you. I never wanted this," she begged.

"Why don't you just 'help' me anyway? It's not like I could do anything to stop you." Tears flowed freely from her face that became a deeper green as she started to cry.

"Do you understand what you did to me? You violated me. In every way imaginable. You made me afraid of everything. Even my own shadow. I literally had a panic attack yesterday when I saw my shadow move as I drifted off. But that's not the worst part. No. The very worst thing you did is you brought my father back into my life. Just when I finally thought I had banished him for good you go and bring him back. He's looming over me every second of every minute of every day. Reminding me of my weakness and what it cost me," I finished voice thick with despair. I shivered like a leaf, curled up again, even tighter than before. I could feel my father behind me, hovering over me with that disappointed scowl. Eyes flashing with anger and cheeks flushed with alcohol.

"I can make it better. I can ease your memory," she offered, rocking forward with the need to comfort me. She fought herself and remained where she was, her right arm grasping her left bicep, the flesh pillowing out under her green knuckled grip.

"I wondered about that. You can do more than just read my mind? Whatever. I don't care anymore. Make me forget, make me love you. It doesn't really matter what I say does it? You have all the control, you took it from me, don't you remember? Here, I'll give you permission. You can do anything you want with me. Does that make you feel better? Does it assuage your guilt?" I said flinging my words like daggers, hoping to inflict just a little of the pain I felt on her.

Giant gulping sobs rocked her body now as she clenched her hands listlessly in front of her. I winced as a stabbing pain shot through my kidney. It had happened on and off for the last twelve hours or so, preventing me from sleeping.

"You might want to hurry though. I'm not sure how well your changes handle dehydration." I shuddered again as another stabbing pain passed through me. She approached me carefully, like someone approaching a wounded animal would, steadily yet deliberately. I met her eyes for a second and the worry, fear and sadness shone brightly. I curled tighter around my stomach as another pain racked through my body. It felt like someone was carving up my insides with a rusty knife. A knife someone had used to chop rocks to leave it with that perfectly jagged edge, so it could catch the skin just right. A groan ripped itself out of my clenched jaw. I felt a cool wetness on my forehead but I was too far gone to pull away. I sank into darkness as the pain retreated from my body.

I was standing in a featureless dark expanse of nothingness. Looking around I couldn't see any defining details, no floor or ceiling or walls. Just darkness. I stepped around cautiously, feeling for any ledges or dropoffs.

Nothing.

I was dressed in clothes but there was no visible light source. As I thought this the sky filled in with brilliant motes of light as the stars were revealed. As I looked up, I could feel something tickle my ankles through my jeans and I noticed my new grassy surroundings. Like a video game rendering, the world built itself around me.

"Hello Jonas." I turned at the greeting and saw 'Tara' was standing behind me. She was in her original blue appearance. Tensing, I waited for the overwhelming fear, but the paranoia I had felt for the last few days was absent.

"Hey Tara. You really did a number on me didn't you?" I said plainly. Sadness skirted her features and she took a step towards me, watching me carefully.

"It's okay. I don't bite." She closed the distance between us in a gigantic lunge and was hugging me tightly.

"So I assume our new scenario is from you? I must say I like your taste. It's very peaceful." Sound overlayed my talking now, a babbling brook in the distance burbled happily over the quiet susurrations of the wind through the grass.

"Can you ever forgive me?" she asked, brokenly. She looked so frightened as she stood there in the darkness one arm pulled across her chest, gripping her other arm tightly. Her bare breasts only slightly distracting in the pale light.

"I dunno. I think I was actually insane when we were in my room. I can think more clearly now, so I can say that I understand what you did. Even though I don't approve of your method I can't argue its effectiveness." I examined my wrist and saw the same unblemished flesh as always. I felt lighter than I had in years. It almost felt like I had been Atlus and only now was I able to finally set the world down.

I don't feel alone anymore.

"I know it's no excuse but I didn't know. I didn't know what your dad did to you or how you would react to what I was doing. I was so scared that I didn't take the time to think." I felt a wave of horror but it didn't come from me. Somehow I'm getting a sense of what she's feeling. Freaky.

"You're doing something to me right now aren't you?" Still calm and composed a felt like I was on some sort of anti anxiety drugs.

"You were right that I could do more than just read your mind. The first time I kissed you I left specialized cells that migrated to your brain that I could interface with. I read the surface of your thoughts that night. I got some of your more recent memories but mainly I was focusing on language because I desperately wanted to talk to you. I'm using these cells now to limit your emotional response so we can talk rationally," she hurriedly replied.

"Sorry about what I said. I was being pretty spiteful."

"You had reason, and you weren't wrong. But I don't want to change you. I want you. And I want you to be you for as long as I can." More quietly she whispered, "Even if it's not with me."

"So now's the point where we discuss what you're going to do to me so I can move forward with my life right?" She nodded into my chest. I could feel little splashes of wetness soak into my shirt, her sorrow clear even without the strange emotional connection.

"Hey...Hey... Look at me." She tilted her head back.

"I do want you in my life. I haven't felt as good as I do right now in twelve years. The last time I did I was nine with my mother..." My throat constricted and strangled off my words. I felt some pity and then a gentle compassion washed over me in a wave.

"Shhhhh. I know, I have full access to your memories right now. I saw what your father did. It's not your fault he was a drunken bastard. It wasn't your weakness, it was his that led to your mom's death. There was nothing you could have done." There was a pause and she gently rocked me as my tears rolled off my chin and onto her head.

"I can take your pain if you want me to. I can take away the memory of that night."

"You can't," I stated, quickly and a little harshly.

"Why not?" she asked, confused.

"I wouldn't be me. That day was a defining point in my life. If I didn't have that memory then I would be a stranger to myself and there's no telling what sort of damage that sort of cognitive dissonance would cause."

"But you hurt so much. I can feel it."

"I know. I've dealt with it all my life. That guilt and loneliness is my burden to bear. But you know what makes it better?" She shook her head.

"You." She froze. Hope blossomed across the link between us.

"You drive away the loneliness and were a primary piece during my catharsis. At least until you took it away. Unintentionally, I know. But that's beside the point. I do want you in my life. Now, how can we make that happen? I'm assuming my body is no longer dying of dehydration. So now what to do about my mind...?" I paused for a moment as I thought about what I wanted and how to achieve that.

Goal one, stop the mental break. Goal two, remain myself. Goal three, figure out the extent of her powers. Goal four, figure out what changes she made to me. That's enough for now.

How do I achieve this? Step one I needed to get fix the traumatic experience. I didn't want her to erase the memory because I knew that I would recall what happened at the bank and any gaps in my memory could prove problematic. If I encountered a hole I would wonder what had happened and worry over it until I had figured it out. Once I realized she could erase memories I would never trust her again, and that was something I didn't want.

"Can you change my memory so the...whatever it was you did to me... turns into a memory of something else."

"I could do that." She reached for my head eagerly.

"Wait wait wait. That's not right. You shouldn't get a free pass for this. You've done wrong and you should pay that price, future me deserves to know that." Her joy soured and a crestfallen look dominated her features as her hands fell to my shoulders.

"How about this? Is it possible to, I don't know, blur, the memory so that I remember what happens but see it through a filter? Almost like I was examining the act through third person so it doesn't strike me so personally... so viscerally... That way I can move forward but still know to be cautious with you." Even as I said it I knew that I didn't really mean it. For some reason I trusted her completely, in spite of the pain she caused me.

It was almost like I knew her as intimately as I knew myself. Like our minds were curled together so tightly bits of each other were passing through the barrier.

She loves me.

She loved me so deeply and intensely that the emotion flowed through me carrying me with its inexorable tide. The realization hit me so hard I couldn't help but reciprocate, even if just a little.

It seems a little weird in retrospect. I mean she basically raped me and now I love her, even a little? It doesn't seem right. But if I put it this way it might make a little more sense. How often in our lives do we know, truly know, one hundred percent positive that someone loves you? I bet it's not often and if it is often than I want to punch you in the face you lucky bastard, just on principle. Anyway, at that moment I was convinced that she loved me, and would do anything for me, and it melted my heart just a little. Looking down at her serious face made my heart skip. Maybe more than a little.

The frown on her face transformed into a brilliant smile. The feeling thing must be a two way street. I gave her a mock frown and her smile grew even wider. Yep definitely responding to emotions more than facial expressions. More experiments are necessary. I forced myself to remember my father and how he used to complain about how I liked to play on our janky computer more than I enjoyed football. How I was a sissy who would never live up to his legacy of quarterbacking a state championship if I didn't "toughen up". The ball of rage grew inside me but I kept my face expressionless. She flinched in my arms and tried to pull away.

I released my anger and she gave me a sheepish grin.

"You noticed."

I nodded.

"You noticed and you're not mad. You're not mad and you love me. You don't want to right now but you do." She gave a little squeal of joy and jumped into my arms, wrapping her legs around me and showering my face with kisses. I felt her joy and I smiled in response. After a few moments I pried her away from my face.

"Okay, that's enough for now. It's time for you to fix me." She raised her hands to my temple but didn't release her grip with her legs.

"Brace yourself, this might feel a little weird," she said, her tongue poking out of her mouth as she concentrated.

"See you on the other side," I said, giving her a small two fingered salute.

The world started to spin around me in a kaleidoscope swirl of green and black and blue.

I opened my eyes to a world awash in pink with maroon accents. I braced myself for the wave of fear and the specter of my father. Instead I received a flurry of kisses with no small amount of tongue. Like a martial artist lashing out with a hundred strikes she assaulted my innocent mouth. I was extremely thirsty and my tongue felt like it had been used kitty litter box while I was out. Her kisses stopped for a moment and then she smiled at me mischievously. I arched an eyebrow at her actions and she lowered her mouth once more, this time latching on, an probe docking to my proverbial space port. I was shocked when cool water started pouring down my throat. Sputtering on the liquid, I pulled away from Lara to see her cheeks bulging like a chipmunks, a trail of pink trailing up to my sink, engulfing the faucet. After I caught my breath, I tentatively approached her mouth again and gulped down the refreshing liquid. I instantly felt better, like my cells were swelling back to life.

I wonder...

Getting up, I went to my mirror and watched as my pale flesh was painted over, flush with color. The bags under my eyes slowly disappeared under the canvas of healthy flesh, my eyes sparking with clarity under the light, for the first time in a couple of days. Meeting Lara's eyes in the mirror, she wrapped her arms around me and gave me a sly smile, setting her chin on my shoulder. She kissed along my neck and I groaned as her hand snaked down my chest heading for my crotch. I leaned back to kiss her fully when a knock on the door startled me.

"Mr. Carlile, this is the police. We have some questions for you. Open up."

My wide eyed stare met Lara's before darting back to the door.

*****

Author's Note: As always thanks for taking the time to read my story. If you enjoyed it please consider dropping a rating and/or a comment, those things mean a lot to me. (I'm a little obsessive to be honest :P) Also if anyone feels so inclined to read my stories early and leave me some feedback or do some editing shoot me a comment or an email and I'll hook you up. Hope you are all having a wonderful life.