Cloud Sheets

The morning light poured over the ridgeline and into the bedroom. Kate moved first only to see it was 6:17. She groaned loudly forgetting she was not alone in bed. "What?" Mandy said as she pulled Kate's back closer to her chest. "It feels nice to wake up with someone. Don't you love morning after sex with bodies still all covered in sticky crusty juices?"

Kate rolled over and rested her hand over Mandy's bottom with fingertips slightly between the cheeks. "You feel so nice against me." She knew it was not very romantic, but it captured the essence of how she felt.

"Maybe you can come back. I don't mean fuck you and toss you out like a used vibrator. I need to get some work done on my book or my editor will have my ass and not in a fun kind of way. Maybe tonight about six, I have some steaks."

The shared shower probably took longer than Mandy expected, but they both enjoyed the chance to linger and let their hands slide over each other's soapy wet skin. Mandy always found washing her lovers mound to be so very sensual, the way her hand would almost disappear completely inside. She often pictured what it would be like to have a hand completely inside her, but had always been afraid to try.

Kate opened her front door and Kat, her black and white mixed breed kitten, jumped into her arms. "Missed me didn't you? Or are you just hungry?" She walked towards the kitchen muttering, "Cat Kat, Cat Kat." Kat was the first live attachment for Kate. In the past, she had always needed to travel light and not develop such things, now she was just afraid of the past.

Kat's face blocked the bowl as Kate tried to shake more dry food into it. Kate gave Kat a slight kick with her boot so the food would stop bouncing onto the floor. "There little one." It was something her mother said to her so many years ago as they looked at her father on the floor; smoke still rising from the bullet wound through his forehead, and the pistol dangling from Kate's eleven-year-old finger. He would not beat her mother again.

Kate left her computer turned on all the time, but was always afraid to check her three e-mail accounts. When she went into the witness protection program, she had changed her name and social security number, yet she was always looking over her shoulder wondering if someone would recognize her someday. Her days now were lonely and spent reading books, chopping wood, or working on the truck. Working on the truck took far more work than it should to keep it running, but she did not mind since it gave her something to do.

Kate gave Mandy a small hug and kiss. "I really did change clothes," she said with a single spin on the toe one boot and her arms out like an ice skater. "Make any progress on the book?"

"What? You have ten identical plaid flannel shirts and five jeans."

"Actually fifteen plaid shirts in the winter." Kate chuckled as she pulled Mandy closer for a more appropriate hug and kiss. "Sorry, I really can be romantic you know. I'm not used to be around someone I want to be romantic with though."

Mandy inhaled deeply and pushed Kate's hand down her stomach and inside the waistband of her jeans until she could feel fingers touching her between the legs. "Actually I was hoping for some of that more than romance. I need a lot-t-t of that."

Kate's fingers plowed though the wetness and sensed the fragrance wafting up into her nostrils.

"You must have been writing about sex all day?"

"I stay pretty turned on anyway. But when I'm writing, it gets real crazy."

"In that regard, we may match well."

"I noticed yesterday."

"Steaks or a fuck?"

"Don't make me decide. Besides, what do you mean 'a fuck'? Just one?"

It was three in the morning as the sliver of a silver moon dangled in the clear star filled sky while they shared a joint and lounged in the steaming water of the half wooden water tank that was now a hot tub.

"A shooting star," Kate called out as she pointed halfway to the horizon. Her hand moved. "Another one."

"What did you used to do before the nothing you do now?" Mandy asked as she fondled Kate's clit not really trying to provoke an orgasm.

"I traveled a lot doing consulting. I had many lucrative contracts. Now I live very cheaply and am pretty happy." There was not much more that Kate could explain and she hoped she could put off the other potential questions - forever. She had been good about that in the past, but she was a little out of practice now.

"I love to travel. These days my travel is often just for interviews, book signings, and readings. Do you still like to travel?"

"Actually, since I moved here, I've never been more than 100 miles away."

"Maybe you can come with me on my next book trip?"

"You know I'd really like to. But I've developed a huge phobia about flying, 9/11 and all that."

"Yeah, I hate the pat downs. The men screeners are always feeling me up." Mandy chuckled.

"What?"

"Why don't they call them pat ups?" Mandy chuckled again.

"You're keeping one of my best customers away!" Joan barked at Mandy and then laughed to let her know she was only kidding. She dried the glass long enough to dry a dozen, pausing a few times to look at the spots that would never go away. "Oh fuck, the beer hides it," she grumbled as she put it on the rack.

The trips to the Deep Breath had become further apart for Kate as they continued to sleep together most every night. When she did go, Brenda usually was with her. It had been three weeks since the last time.

"Sorry Joan. Kate fills a need."

"I bet. She pulled you around the bed by her teeth yet?"

"Two bran..." Mandy started while ignoring Joan's question. "Yeah honey. Two brandies for Mandy," Joan replied as the bottom of two empty brandy glasses clinked against the bar.

The evening of the completion of 'The Killer Lover', Mandy's new book and the two-month anniversary of their meeting, Kate drove towards the ranch gate and noticed the flashing blue lights on top of the police car driving towards the house. She continued down the highway until she reached a place to pull off."

"Are you okay?" Kate asked as Mandy answered the phone.

"Yes. I'll call you later."

"I'm fucked!" Kate sobbed loudly and then hung up.

Kat meowed at Kate's feet as she sat on the bed's edge. Beside her was a suitcase packed with a few things. She held a gun to her temple. "What will I do now?" she screamed aloud as Kat pawed at her jeans. She lowered the gun and cleared the bullet from the chamber. She listened to the sound of a single car's tires rolling over the gravel of the drive and stop. She cocked the gun again. She did not even have to see if there were flashing blue lights to know who had arrived.

"Kate! Kate!" Mandy screamed as she banged on the front door. "Kate! I need to talk to you!"

The banging continued and grew even louder as Kate sat stunned on the bed. It had always seemed like it would be a simple decision to just pull the trigger rather than all that not doing so would mean. Now it did not seem so simple and her hand shook while Mandy continued to call her name and bang on the door.

The weak lock easily gave way to the thrust of Mandy's shoulder and the door flew open. Kate was sitting on the bed with the gun to her head as Mandy stopped in the door to the bedroom.

"NO! NO! Put it down!" Mandy screamed as she slammed her hands against her head and pulled on her hair. "I love you. Don't pull that trigger!"

"But the cops? They're out there. They told you about me didn't they?" Kate began to lower the gun and laid it in her lap still cocked.

"What the hell are you talking about? They wanted more information about my friend's murder. Someone has turned himself in."

"Oh?" Kate groaned as she cleared the bullet from the chamber once again with a quick - click, click. "I was in some trouble once. Big trouble that I thought was behind me. I can't go through that again. When I saw the flashing lights at your place, I was terrified that they were after me. Then I heard the car out front."

Mandy pushed the gun and suitcase away and sat next to Kate, her arm around Kate's waist and her mouth against Kate's shoulder. "Listen, whatever the problem is, I want to work though it with you. I think I'm falling in love with you. I think you're falling in love with me too."

Kate twisted her head and watched Mandy push the short sleeve of her white undershirt up exposing the shoulder and resuming her nibbling on the bare skin. Mandy was right that they were both falling in love. It was a completely new experience for Kate, one that she had never felt in her life. She also knew whoever had turned himself in did not do it.

The afternoon was warm even though the first snows of the winter had come early and patches of white covered the green fields. Kate sipped a scotch on the rocks and Mandy started the second chapter of a new book.

"Do you have a title yet?" Kate yelled.

Slightly louder than the clicking keys of the laptop, she replied, "Nope."

"Going to the mailbox," Kate said as she passed Mandy. "Think I'll walk today." The mile and a half walk was always good exercise, but when the weather was bad, she would just drive her truck. Almost to the mailbox, she saw the mail truck pull away and she thought, 'how strange, he's an hour late today'. The mailman, Sam, was always there by one; two at the latest, and now it was already three-thirty. Kate had made the long walk one time and was early. She had sworn that would not happen again.

Kate flipped though the four-inch pile of letters while leaving the six magazines in the large rural mailbox. "Bill," "Bill," "Junk," "Junk," she called out as she looked at each envelope. "Fuck!" she screamed when she noticed the beginning of the return address - District Attorney. "Fuck Me!" she yelled aloud repeatedly for the first quarter mile of the long trip back to the house. As she walked and ran though the cooling afternoon air, she nervously ripped the buttons away from her trademark flannel shirt. "Can't I just hide this?" she cried out as she ripped at another button as if to rip the heart from her chest. "No. Maybe it is good news," she whispered aloud as the door slammed behind her.

"Good news?" Mandy called out as she walked towards Kate. "What happened to you? A panther?" she asked as she looked at the disheveled appearance of Kate's shirt. Mandy tore the letter open in an unusual show of messiness instead of using the letter opener.

'This is to inform you the charges against Richard J. Smith have been dropped due to lack of evidence to support his confession. We will continue to keep you informed of any progress in this case.'

"Goddamn Bastard!" she screamed as she dropped the letter and ran through the house towards the backdoor and out into the field. Kate chased after her, but Mandy was a much faster runner. Kate followed the shrieks over the next two hills before finding Mandy sitting on her favorite bluff overlooking the valley that contained Coldwater.

Kate sat behind Mandy, her legs resting on either side of Mandy's hips. She massaged Mandy's shoulders without saying anything at first. She could tell that Mandy was beyond upset - way, way beyond. It would take a bigger fool than Kate to not realize that. Eventually Kate offered soft sweet reassurances that she loved her and wanted to help. Mandy's tears did not stop. Kate knew she would have to take this secret to her grave. She also knew if Mandy ever found out she would put her in one.

As Kate nibbled down Mandy's neck, she asked, "Can we make love out here?" Kate was not expecting an answer, especially one of agreement.

"I knew it was too good to be true. I jinxed it by writing that last fucking book. I shouldn't have written about her murder."

"Isn't it enough that we are together? I love you so much..." Kate's voice tapered off knowing it would never matter.

The tears flowed as Mandy twisted and fell into Kate's arms. "Rape me you bitch!" she suddenly screamed as if possessed. "Just fuck me like the murderer I am. I killed her! They'll never know." Mandy swung a fist at Kate and missed. She stood and began ripping her clothes off without even trying to salvage anything. Each fingernail cut deep into her skin and blood began to drip from the wounds. Mandy kicked at Kate landing a few good kicks to the side. "Go ahead and rape me you god...damn...son of a bitch." Mandy was out of control and getting more so by the second as she ran naked in circles around Kate inflecting even more scratches on herself.

The adrenaline surged though Kate's body as it had before every contract kill, and she wrestled Mandy hard to the ground, her head slamming into the mud. She shoved her hand hard against Mandy's bare crotch and forcibly ground the pink wet flesh into her palm. "Coat my hand fucker. Cum on me like the dreadful scum you are." As she yelled the worst and most vile thoughts possible at Mandy, she found herself purging the darkness that lurked inside her. She leaned down and bit hard on the bottom of Mandy's left breast breaking the skin and leaving a trail of new blood on both women. They rolled repeatedly across rocks and though the mud and grass as they yelled and clawed at each other. The dark rage that raced from them both filled the growing darkness of the late afternoon.

Drained, exhausted, and muddy, they lay naked on their backs several yards from each other in the waning sunlight and a dozen yards from the shredded material that had once been their clothing. Gradually Kate began to stir as her strength slowly returned. She sat partially while leaning on one elbow. "What was that all about?"

"Didn't you enjoy it? I know you did. I could feel the passion and love."

"But the letter?"

"Darling...I've known what really happened since the cops came that day. Someone I know at the DA's office mailed that letter for me. I knew even before I watched you with the gun to your head how much I loved you. I've known you killed her all this time and I don't fucking care anymore. You mean too much to me. You are all I care about now. This was the only way I could break through the shield you kept around you."

"How can you love me? I just don't get it."

"Just know I do. If it gets to be a problem, we can just come back to the bluff and do this again. Even if we need to do this every goddamn month, we will do whatever it takes for us to be together."

Hand in hand and naked, they walked back to the house as the last rays of the sun glowed bright orange against their backs.

The muddy blood red water circled round and round the edge of the shower drain before spiraling out of sight as they stood with fingertips lightly touching each other's sides and nibbling on the other's lips.

"You're the only person I've ever loved," Kate whispered so softly that she almost could not hear herself. She cleared her throat a little before saying louder, "Mandy, you are the only person I've ever loved and I can't live without you."

"I know. I've also known since the first night that you might not be able to love me the way I could love you. After she died, I never thought I could love anyone. There was some kind of shell and I knew it would not break easily for either of us. It will be years still...maybe never...before this is behind us. Let's just love each other as best we can."

The water ran cold long before they stepped from the shower. "Let me dry you," Kate begged as she patted the drops of water from Mandy's shoulders with the thick fluffy white towel. A puddle began to form around their feet.

"Anything...as long as you are with me."

That night they drifted off into a pleasant dream on the cloud sheets as they cuddled together.

-o-O-o-